Pratique du Shadowing: How to deal with stress - What in the World podcast, BBC World Service - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec YouTube

There is more evidence that more younger people are feeling burnt out.

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There is more evidence that more younger people are feeling burnt out.

There is evidence that more younger people have increasing levels of difficulties like anxiety or depression.

I'm probably not even graduating till I'm 24.

The feeling of being left behind is so, so overwhelming to me.

Like, it consumes my whole being.

Morning, it's quarter past seven in the morning.

I'm in my flat in London.

we're starting the episode in a bit of a different location today

because I thought I would bring you guys on my journey

into work I can't lie I'm a little bit late I

don't know how I've managed to do it again okay I

have about a 20 minute walk to the tube station London is not kind

when you're late and I've made it that was pretty painless compared to normal

I'm just gonna have to frantically search for my past so I can actually get into the BBC building

okay I'm back I'm Ikra this is what in the world from the BBC World Service

that was a bit of my morning it might be similar

to some of you guys as well one thing's for sure

that overwhelmed feeling hits most of us at some point in our day

and that's what we're getting into today I know there's a bunch of TikTok videos out there about this

so we wanted to talk about why we're all feeling

so stressed and overwhelmed in our lives and how we get around it too.

We've got some of your questions and we're putting them to the BBC presenter and psychologist Claudia Hammond.

She's also written a book about being overwhelmed, it's called Overwhelmed.

Claudia's right here right now.

Hey Claudia.

Hi, thanks for having me.

Yeah, thank you for coming.

I know we've got a bunch of questions to get through.

Before we get to the questions though.

I wanted to actually get into the definition of overwhelm.

When we say overwhelm, what do we mean?

What is that?

So overwhelm is an emotional state where you are struggling with your current situation.

So you might feel overloaded,

you might feel you can't cope.

And that might be a temporary thing, hopefully.

But if it's not in the longer term,

if that becomes more of a kind of chronic kind of stress,

then that might lead to burnout in the end.

Yeah.

And have you noticed this has become more common for Gen Z?

I see all the TikTok videos about burnout, stress.

There is more evidence that more younger people are feeling burnt out.

There is evidence that more younger people have increasing levels of difficulties like anxiety or depression.

And it is a time of transition when you're young.

There's so much uncertainty.

There's uncertainty about your own life.

There's uncertainty about what's happening in the world as well.

There's uncertainty about what will happen with the world in the future if you think about things like climate change.

There's a lot going on.

I'm glad you said it.

So I guess let's focus on different aspects of life.

And we look at social media.

It's so easy to pick up your phone and you've got that instant access to whatever is going on in the world.

There can be a lot of bad stuff going on in the world.

How does that affect how overwhelmed we feel,

that kind of instant access?

Yeah, if people find themselves,

you know, doom scrolling and looking,

looking for the bad news in a way and then carrying on

and on looking at that bad news and getting alerts all the time that are telling them what's happening in the world,

then when it's bad, there is evidence that that can be damaging for people.

There was a really interesting study that was done after a Boston Marathon bombing that took place in 2013.

And there were some people even back then who all watched more than six hours a day of coverage of it,

either on TV, on rolling news or online.

And they found that those people who did that actually had more acute stress than people who were actually at the bombing,

which seems really extraordinary but it's because

if you keep watching the worst bits of it there's no beginning middle

and end if you are actually there thankfully the experience does end in the end

and so if people find themselves drawn to watching negative things all the time we know

that if they're already in a low mood they're more likely to then carry on looking for negative things

and then that puts them in a lower mood again

so I think we do have to be careful how we

how we consume news of what's going on do you need to know immediately do you have to have alerts

that tell you immediately when a news story has happened

or would it be okay to find out at the end of the day?

Something that me and my sister talk about a lot

when it comes to overwhelm

and social media is I sometimes say to her why do

you not reply to my messages like I know you've you've seen them instantly

when they come up on your phone

and she says sometimes I just get overwhelmed when

when I see the messages or there's a few coming through

or maybe there's not even a few coming through but there's like they're building up,

you know, a backlog that she needs to reply to.

And I've heard a few of my friends say that too.

So why does that happen?

Yeah, I think there can be a real pressure because we've got messages coming in by loads of different methods now.

And it is really hard to stay across those and answer them all immediately.

And especially when people know whether you've seen the message,

then it feels rude if you don't answer.

But then that can add to the pressure of all the other things you've got to do as well.

And maybe at that moment,

you didn't want to engage with that person,

not because you don't like them at all just

because you're thinking about something else you know maybe you're watching something uh

so you're watching a film

or something maybe you're chatting to friends maybe you're out you

know enjoying nature maybe you don't want to be interrupted at

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that moment and that that's okay

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so i think in a way we need to um give ourselves a bit less of a hard time about

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that um and not expect to be able to be perfect

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and answer everything straight away

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but also to to let our friends off a bit you know

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if to not take it personally if they don't answer straight away it's not

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because they hate you it's because they're doing something else okay Maybe I'll give my sister a break.

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Give her a break.

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And we know sometimes big news headlines can make us feel overwhelmed.

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Sometimes these headlines hit closer to home as well.

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We have heard from someone who's experiencing just that.

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Here's Sonia, who's from Ukraine.

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I felt overwhelmed lately because of all the news about my country and the world in general.

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It just feels like the future is so unpredictable and hectic and it's very hard to build any plans.

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And what's really helpful for me is to stay off with social media as long as possible

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and also go to the gym regularly.

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So, Claudia, Sonia there mentions about going to the gym as a really helpful tool for her.

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Is that something you would recommend?

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What other ways can we kind of help ourselves?

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Totally.

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I think it's really important to find the activity that you find helps you switch off.

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And this will be different for different people

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and I did a big piece of research on this where some people it was exercise,

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15% of people told us that exercise was the thing

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that allowed them to rest in a way that allowed all those thoughts in their brain to stop whirring around.

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But for other people, you know,

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it might be watching a video,

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it might be reading a book reading actually came top

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and I think particularly if like Sonia you're living through a difficult uncertain situation it's

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so important to find those moments where you do the thing

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that will make you feel a bit better

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and feel a bit more restored moving on to I guess another big stressor that hits a lot of our lives,

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exams, being in school, it can be a huge source of overwhelm.

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We've actually heard from someone who's going through just that as well.

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This is Mari Somi, who's from Finland.

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Let's have a listen.

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So I come from a background of two very different cultures,

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but the common thing in these cultures are succeeding in life.

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And I think quite many people my age or that come from a family

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where academic succeeding is a priority can feel the pressure of having to fulfill people's sometimes unrealistic expectations.

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So, in my country in Finland,

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at high school we have matriculation exams on our last years of high school,

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months of studying and preparation for these exams that last 6-8 hours in a big hall.

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there is

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so much pressure on literal 18 years olds to make huge life decisions about what they want to do

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or have as a career it can become quite overwhelming to constantly think how you can be better

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or do better and when you for the first time don't meet the unrealistic expectations

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and feel the disappointment that's the point you never want to go back to how does she deal with

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that pressure yeah it's hard isn't it and six to eight hour exams wow

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that does sound hard yet when the pressure comes from outside

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that can be really difficult and there is this thing called socially prescribed perfectionism

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which is where other people

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which might be your school it might be your parents it

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might be others it might be society are expecting you to be perfect

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and that feels really difficult now sometimes it's the case

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that we might be misinterpreting that pressure

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and they might not be quite as harsh on you as you imagine you know

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if you ask most parents

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if you say to them what what you really want they

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will say they want their child to be really happy

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but they also want them to have you know the best start in life

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and the best opportunities

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and getting them to work hard for their exams is one way of doing

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that but I think it's very normal

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and I think an important thing for Murray to remember is

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that it's very normal to feel stressed while all this is going on

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and that actually to tell yourself one of the reasons you feel

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so stressed is that this is something that's really important to you

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and this is something that really matters and

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that also particularly in the exam itself if you feel stressed then just knowing

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that you well may well perform better while you're stressed

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that this it concentrates the mind it sharpens

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and your nerves sharpen your thinking and allow you to really do your best

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and if as you're sitting down to that exam beforehand you

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or you're thinking I'm really really worried about this I feel really really stressed

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that stress is actually helping you to do better it's helping

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you to perform like like an actor on a stage feels

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nervous beforehand they need to feel a little bit nervous

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if they were too laid back they might not do their very best performance.

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It's good to hear that stress can be the fuel,

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it can be a good thing as well.

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Sticking with the theme of school we've got Yusara who's from Bangladesh.

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She's studying at the moment,

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she's just started her university applications.

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Here she is.

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The university admission system in Bangladesh is very very hectic.

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For example in the last one

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and a half months I've sat for nine different exams

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and it's it's very and the competition is so

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so fierce for example the last exam

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that i sat for had six thousand plus applicants

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and they're only going to take hundred of them

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so getting in is nothing short of a miracle

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and nine exams like that competitive are somewhere even more competitive than

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that so it's it has taken a toll on me

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and I've been so overwhelmed and also the fact

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that people who are my age or even a two

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or three years older than me living in another country

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and I see them getting graduated graduating and getting their own apartments

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or like even getting a big girl job

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and all I can think of is I'm probably not even graduating till I'm 24 and I don't know,

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the feeling of being left behind is so overwhelming to me.

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It consumes my whole being.

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So Yusra speaks there about feeling left behind,

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especially on social media and how that can contribute to things.

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What would you say about that?

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I guess it's a feeling a lot of us can relate to.

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Totally, and such a horrible feeling as well.

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And I think one of the difficulties with social media is,

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of course, that you used to be able to only compare yourself to,

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say, I don't know, the rest of your class,

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and you may well be top of your class,

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but now you can compare with everybody else.

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So now you can compare with millions of people who we know are very much curating what's on their social media feeds,

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and we know people will do this in loads of ways.

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People on average now are less satisfied with their appearance,

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and how much of that is down to who they're able to compare themselves with now on social media,

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but also in terms of success as well.

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And I think it's really hard

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because what you're seeing is the other people who are all going on to do these things.

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And you're often not seeing the people in just the same situation who are also waiting,

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you know, and feeling frustrated at not knowing what's going to happen.

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And so then I think it's a question of really trying to take things one step at a time.

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Things really often do work out.

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And I know that sounds really easy to say,

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but it may not feel like that at this moment.

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But these periods of transition,

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it's really normal to feel uncertain about those.

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It's been really good to hear all these different experiences,

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tapping into feeling overwhelmed.

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So if someone's listening and thinking,

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I want some top tips on just feeling overwhelmed generally in my life,

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what would you say to them?

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So first, I would say,

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accept that your to-do list is never going to end.

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It is always going to be there.

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So even I know that might sound defeatist,

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but even if you get to the end of it today,

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tomorrow, there will be something else on it.

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And that's just life.

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And then I think the second thing is to to really ask what is good enough?

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you know how do I have to be perfect at everything

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or will good enough do

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and then the third thing I'd say is to to take rest seriously

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and be really kind to yourself and

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that could make a real difference thank you I'm going to take those on board as well Claudia it's been

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so good to to have you come by

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and answer those questions thank you so much you're really welcome

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and if any of you guys have managed to find your own ways to beat feeling

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that overwhelmed feeling I want to hear from you remember you can comment below like

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and subscribe i'm ikra this is what's in the world from the bbc world service

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and we'll see you next time bye

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