Pratica di Shadowing: The Simple Habit for a Happier Social Life | Nicholas Epley | TED - Impara a parlare inglese con YouTube
C1
.
259 frasi
Se le frasi sono troppo corte o troppo lunghe, clicca su Edit per modificarle.
1
.
2
There's a fundamental paradox right at the core of human life.
3
On the one hand, decades of research has shown
4
that we are highly social creatures who are made happier
5
and healthier by reaching out and connecting with other people in the moments,
6
the days, the weeks, the months and the years of our lives.
7
And yet, on the other hand,
8
just look around a little bit.
9
It's not clear that all of us have gotten this memo.
10
Every day, there are opportunities,
11
big and small, to reach out and connect with other people that we choose not to take.
12
We avoid talking to strangers.
13
We lean back and type to each other rather than leaning in and talking to each other.
14
Once talking, we stick to shallow talk,
15
to small talk, rather than going deeper.
16
We feel grateful but don't express it,
17
want to reach out to offer support to someone in need but hold back.
18
We'd like to be open and honest in our relationships but all too often keep our true selves to ourselves.
19
If being socially connected is so darn good for us,
20
then why do we so often seem to be so darn unsocial?
21
This paradox hit me like a freight train one morning while I was on an actual train,
22
commuting into my office at the University of Chicago where I work as a professor of behavioral science.
23
That morning on the train began like every other I'd been on for years beforehand,
24
all filing onto the train,
25
everybody in a desperate search for their own little acreage of solitude right along the window.
26
I think we'd have sat outside the train if that was possible.
27
Heaven forbid you'd sit next to somebody and start to chit-chat.
28
Of course, you creep, or worse yet,
29
somebody would come and sit down next to you,
30
surely some kind of weirdo.
31
But then there we all were,
32
highly social creatures, made happier and healthier by connecting with other people,
33
now sitting hip-to-hip with another perfectly reasonable human being.
34
And what did we do for the next 30 to 45 minutes with each other?
35
We chose to ignore each other.
36
You could have heard a pin drop that morning. That morning,
37
a woman who was about 15 to 20 years older than I was at the time sat down next to me,
38
dressed professionally for work, and wearing just this fabulous, killer, stylish red hat.
39
I'm never going to forget this red hat.
40
I put other people in experiments for a living,
41
but this morning I decided to put myself in an experiment and pay close attention to what happened.
42
Instead of keeping to myself and doom scrolling on my phone or checking my email,
43
I'd try to have a conversation with her,
44
try to help us get to know each other a little bit,
45
turn this 30-minute dull ride into something a little more interesting,
46
turn a stranger into a momentary acquaintance.
47
The second, though, I had that thought about that experiment,
48
my brain started screaming at me all the reasons why this was a really, really bad idea.
49
Clearly, she doesn't want to talk to you,
50
otherwise she'd already be talking to you.
51
She's going to think you're some kind of creep.
52
You probably don't even have anything in common with her,
53
and you've got nothing to even start with, smarty pants.
54
Nevertheless, I decided the experiment must continue,
55
so I ignored that part of my brain.
56
I turned to her, and I said, Hi, my name's Nick.
57
I love your hat.
58
I have one just like it.
59
Yeah, huh?
60
Now look, I know that's not going to make its way into the conversation starter hall of fame,
61
but it didn't seem to matter.
62
She turned to me, a big smile,
63
her face all lit up,
64
almost like she looked like a different person.
65
And from there, the conversation just flowed really easily.
66
Found things that we had in common.
67
We talked about our families,
68
our work, our hope for the future.
69
30-minute train ride just went like that.
70
I was done.
71
I got up to leave,
72
and she stopped me and she said,
73
thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me this morning.
74
I've forgotten a lot of details about how that conversation actually went,
75
but I've never forgotten how that conversation made me feel.
76
Not just good, but surprisingly good.
77
The contrast between my beliefs about how that would go and how it actually went was pretty sizable.
78
And there then also in that gap was a potential resolution to this paradox.
79
Social connection, after all, isn't something that just happens to us.
80
It's a choice we make.
81
It's a choice we make at times to reach out and approach other people to engage with them,
82
or to hold back and avoid them.
83
It might in fact arguably be the choice we make,
84
the most important choice we make,
85
because how we make that choice over and over
86
and over again in our lives so routinely determines so much about our happiness,
87
our health, and our success in life.
88
But highly social creatures like us might avoid reaching out
89
and engaging with other people mistakenly if we underestimate just how positively our attempts to connect might turn out.
90
That morning changed both my career and my character.
91
In my career, my collaborators,
92
my wonderful collaborators
93
and I have now conducted well over 100 experiments with over 30,000 people of all ages
94
and nationalities and found that my tendency to be overly pessimistic is not unique to me.
95
It's something we see over and over again in varying shades
96
and magnitudes across different contexts that vary a little bit across people,
97
but that consistent signal is there.
98
In one of our very first experiments,
99
we went back to a train station on the line that I ride into work every day,
100
and we recruited a group of commuters,
101
and we asked them to predict how they would feel on the train
102
that morning if they kept to themselves in solitude
103
or if they turned to the person who sat next to them that morning and tried to have a conversation,
104
tried to connect.
105
The results here were crystal clear.
106
People thought talking to a stranger was a really bad idea.
107
They thought they would have a more pleasant experience that left them feeling happier if they kept to themselves in solitude
108
than if they turned to the stranger to connect with them on the train.
109
But when we recruited another sample of people
110
and actually randomly assigned them in an experiment to either keep to themselves in solitude
111
or to try to connect with a person sitting next to them rather than just imagine it to actually do it,
112
we found exactly the opposite results.
113
The people we had instructed randomly to keep to themselves that morning
114
reported having a less pleasant and happy commute than those we asked to connect to the person sitting next to them.
115
People's beliefs about social interaction here weren't just wrong, they were precisely backwards.
116
But notice that if you believed that talking with a stranger would suck,
117
you wouldn't try it, and then you'd never find out that you might be wrong about that.
118
Pessimistic beliefs in that way are self-fulfilling.
119
This little experiment was just the tip of a very large iceberg that came into view for us in many ensuing years.
120
We've now seen this tendency to be overly pessimistic over and over and over again.
121
We've now had, for instance,
122
more than 4,500 people, not just to have conversations with a stranger,
123
but to have deep conversations with a stranger,
124
talking about things like, can you tell me what you're most grateful for in your life?
125
Or can you tell me about one of the last times you cried in front of another person?
126
So when I show people these questions in these experiments,
127
I can feel just a sense of dread spreading over the room when I put these questions up on the board.
128
Like people start eyeing the exits,
129
wishing they hadn't come to this session today.
130
But then when I actually put them into the experiments,
131
the trouble that I have in the conversation,
132
the trouble I have is getting them to come back.
133
These conversations go much better than people expect that they will.
134
This is also true when we have people who disagree about the most divisive political issues
135
that divide us today talk about those political agreements.
136
Even those political disagreements, those conversations about political disagreement,
137
go better than people expect them to.
138
We find in our research that we have tremendous power to create meaningful social connection every day of our lives,
139
but if we underestimate how positively our efforts to reach out and connect with someone will go,
140
we won't use that power that we have.
141
We see this tendency for misplaced pessimism also showing up beyond conversation.
142
When we ask people to think of a compliment they could give to their friend
143
and then actually deliver that compliment to their friend,
144
they leave their friend feeling more uplifted than the complimenters imagine they will.
145
When we ask people to express their gratitude to someone they love,
146
they leave their recipients feeling even better than the expressors predict that they will.
147
Performing random acts of kindness,
148
reaching out and asking for help,
149
expressing support to someone in need,
150
being open and honest in our relationships,
151
all tend to be received on average more favorably,
152
more positively by the people we're reaching out to than the people who are reaching out expected to.
153
How much more time would you spend reaching out to lift somebody up
154
if you knew just how much good in that moment you could actually do?
155
No research I've ever been involved with has changed the way I live my life more than this.
156
My train rides are almost never silent anymore.
157
I met amazing people on planes and in cabs,
158
Even just walking around town is more pleasant for me,
159
whether I'm on campus or work or in a grocery store,
160
because I made a habit of walking around with my head up,
161
smiling and saying hello to other people,
162
and I get in return a lot more smiles and hellos when I'm walking around.
163
When I feel grateful, I write a note and send it off.
164
When I need help, I'm less reluctant to ask for it.
165
When I know someone needs some support,
166
I'm not as embarrassed to reach out and offer it,
167
even if there's nothing I can do in that moment.
168
It's made me a more open,
169
friendlier person, and as a result,
170
changed pretty much all of my relationships.
171
I've turned countless strangers into friends,
172
or into acquaintances at least,
173
even if just for a moment.
174
My friendships are better.
175
I think my marriage is stronger.
176
I think I'm a better father.
177
These changes didn't happen to me overnight.
178
They happen, of course, slowly over time,
179
just like you move a mountain,
180
not by pushing it all at once,
181
but one shovelful at a time.
182
The way you change how you approach other people happens slowly over time,
183
one choice after another,
184
one small choice as you learn where your mistaken beliefs about other people might be holding you back needlessly.
185
And then you develop habits that then just become part of your character and part of who you are.
186
Overcoming my misplaced pessimism, though,
187
has also affected how I've made some big choices that I have been a part of in my life,
188
including when pain struck my family.
189
So 10 years ago, my wife Jen was three months into her pregnancy.
190
when we learned that our daughter,
191
who we had already named Sophie,
192
had Down syndrome, and three months after that,
193
we learned that our daughter had died before she could be born.
194
Losing our daughter was horrible.
195
It was absolutely horrible.
196
And we mourned that loss for many months.
197
Until one morning, Jen and I were talking
198
and she asked whether we could whether we should whether we might consider adopting a child with down syndrome
199
and there it was the choice do you reach out
200
and connect with someone do you engage with them do you approach
201
or do you hold back and avoid it jen
202
and i had already adopted two children into our family and and so we had some sense of how this might go.
203
But nevertheless, this choice caught me off guard.
204
I wasn't there at that moment.
205
My mind wasn't there yet.
206
And so I had all the pessimistic fears that you might have
207
when you think about connecting with a stranger or having a deep conversation with someone,
208
except multiplied by 100 or 1,000.
209
How well would this go?
210
Would we be able to handle this?
211
Would we be able to connect,
212
to love, to parent
213
the stranger we were bringing into our lives with all of these challenges
214
that seemed to me at the time very hard and difficult?
215
How would this child respond to us?
216
My first thought was, I don't think we can do this.
217
I'm not sure I can do this.
218
But my second thought then started turning to my data,
219
as researchers will tell you can happen.
220
And I started thinking about thousands and thousands of data points
221
of people underestimating the joys they would experience when they reach out to engage with,
222
to connect with, to pull someone else close to them.
223
And it gave me data-driven courage.
224
That, yeah, we can do this together.
225
I happened to marry a superhero, too.
226
We can do this together.
227
And it won't just be good.
228
I bet it'll be surprisingly good.
229
And so about a year after that,
230
Jen and I boarded a flight to China with our four other children where we were going to meet Lindsay,
231
two years old, born to a woman we will never meet.
232
with big, dark eyes and just a relentless smile to spark a really,
233
really hard start in her life.
234
We reached out to Lindsay,
235
and Lindsay reached back to us.
236
She's been bringing love and smiles like that into our lives for years since.
237
Now, I want to be clear,
238
raising a child with an intellectual disability is hard.
239
It's really hard.
240
Lindsay is not just one handful.
241
She has both arms completely full.
242
But she's also enriched and blessed our lives so far beyond what my pessimistic expectations beforehand ever possibly could have imagined.
243
Connecting with other people is one of the most consistently enjoyable,
244
enlightening and enriching experiences we'll ever have,
245
and yet all too often our choice to reach out
246
and connect with somebody is thwarted by overly pessimistic fears about how other people might respond.
247
Being overly pessimistic doesn't mean we should reach out all the time time
248
or that it always turns out well of course not what it means is
249
that we tend to underestimate the likelihood that it will turn out well
250
and as a result we tend to hold ourselves back a little too often i've found in my life
251
and in my research that testing some of those beliefs
252
that hold us back can reveal places where we're making mistakes about other people
253
and show us how to reach out empower us to reach
254
out a little bit more often than we might otherwise to make both our own lives
255
and those we reach out to a little bit better.
256
You want to change your life for the better?
257
I suggest keeping some data-driven courage in mind.
258
And when in doubt, reach out.
259
Thank you so much.
Scarica l'app
Valutazione AI per ogni frase che pronunci
TRENDING
Popolari
Perché praticare parlando con questo video?
Questo video offre un'opportunità unica per migliorare la pratica di conversazione in inglese, in quanto presenta situazioni sociali reali che molti di noi affrontano quotidianamente. Nicholas Epley discute il paradosso della connessione sociale, evidenziando come, nonostante il nostro bisogno innato di socializzare, spesso scegliamo di non interagire con gli altri. Il messaggio centrale di questo talk è chiaro: il contatto umano ci rende più felici e sani. Praticare parlando di questo tema non solo vi permetterà di riflettere su come vi relazionate con gli altri, ma vi aiuterà anche a costruire la vostra fiducia nel parlare inglese in situazioni sociali.
Grammatica ed Espressioni nel Contesto
Nel suo discorso, Epley utilizza diverse strutture grammaticali interessanti che possono arricchire il vostro vocabolario e migliorare la pronuncia inglese. Ecco alcune espressioni chiave:
- “We avoid talking to strangers.” - Utilizzo del presente semplice per descrivere abitudini.
- “It might, in fact, arguably be the choice we make.” - Uso della forma modale per esprimere possibilità e opinione.
- “Turn a stranger into a momentary acquaintance.” - Frase che enfatizza l'importanza di trasformare relazioni superficiali in connessioni più significative.
Integrando queste strutture nella vostra pratica di conversazione in inglese, potete ampliare la vostra capacità di esprimervi in modo chiaro e fluido.
Trappole di Pronuncia Comuni
Quando ci si cimenta nella pratica di conversazione in inglese, certe parole e accenti possono essere particolarmente insidiosi. Ad esempio:
- “Happier” - Fa attenzione alla pronuncia della 'h' iniziale e alla distinzione tra vocali.
- “Social” - Il suono “sh” può essere difficile da pronunciare per chi sta imparando l'inglese.
- “Choice” - La 'ch' in inglese presenta una pronuncia diversa rispetto all'italiano; praticate questo suono per non commettere errori.
Incorporare queste sfide nel vostro esercizio di shadowing in inglese o shadowspeak vi aiuterà non solo a migliorare la vostra pronuncia, ma anche a sentirvi più a vostro agio nelle conversazioni quotidiane.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.
☕ Offrici un caffè
ShadowingEnglish rimane gratuito al 100% grazie al tuo supporto. I costi del server e IA sono elevati — il tuo caffè ci aiuta ad andare avanti! 🙏