쉐도잉 연습: How to Make Anxiety Your Friend | David H. Rosmarin | TED - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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So I vividly remember my first anxiety attack.
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So I vividly remember my first anxiety attack.
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It's kind of like I feel right now.
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(Laughter) Whoo, is it hot in here?
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(Laughter) It's hot in here.
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(Laughter) This wave of fear crashed over me, and my heart started to pound.
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My breathing got ahead of me and out of control.
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My face felt hot.
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It's hot in here, right?
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(Laughter) Yeah, it's hot.
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And I got doused in this really uncomfortable cold sweat.
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It was a life-changing moment, because I made a decision, right there and then, to dedicate my career to ridding our world of this feeling, anxiety.
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So that was more than two decades ago.
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Work in progress.
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(Laughter) I became a clinical psychologist.
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I became a professor.
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I started an anxiety treatment center.
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And then, I realized, at some point along the way, that eradicating anxiety from our lives would not be beneficial.
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Sometimes, anxiety interferes with your life.
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That's clinical anxiety.
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And yes, you do want to get rid of that clinical anxiety, with the help of a professional.
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But other times, many times ...
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it's uncomfortable, it's uncontrollable.
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Did I mention it's hot in here?
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(Laughter) It's intense.
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But that's a good thing.
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It's a good thing.
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Many of the greatest leaders in human history, certainly in recent history, they were forged in a cauldron of anxiety.
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Once, early in his career, Sir Winston Churchill, he froze for three full minutes in the House of Commons, giving a speech.
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He fought against his phobia, faced his fears head-on, and he went on to become one of the greatest orators of the 20th century.
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In the 1990s, after a box-office flop, Oprah Winfrey, she turned to food to drown out her feelings, to suppress her emotions.
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She ended up feeling emotionally numb for six weeks, and during that period of great anxiety, she learned the importance of letting go of her expectations for success.
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She went on to become a media icon.
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And speaking of icons ...
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The first time Taylor Swift sang the national anthem at a football game, she felt paralyzed with fear.
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What she learned is to share her feelings with others.
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Listen to her lyrics.
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Many of them speak about her own anxiety.
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And now, well, apparently, she can “shake it off.” (Laughter) Anxiety is an emotion, like any other emotion, and it can do so much good for you.
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It can increase your resilience.
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It can strengthen your relationships.
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And it can help you to let go.
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When I first met Nicole ...
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she had hypochondriasis, which is clinical health anxiety.
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Despite numerous MRIs to the contrary, she was convinced that she had an aneurysm.
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Nicole's biggest fear was that her anxiety would spike, her brain would explode, and she would drop dead, which would not be good.
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Nicole started to withdraw from daily activities, and she recognized, rightfully, that she needed professional help, so she came in.
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Nicole overcame her obsessions with exposure therapy.
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She faced her fears.
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She embraced them head-on in order to build resilience.
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She read stories about aneurysms.
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She watched videos about aneurysms.
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She went to a local neurology ward.
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Nicole overcame her obsessions, and she graduated from therapy.
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I was so happy and so proud of her.
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And then, a couple years later, the phone rang.
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Nicole tells me she's pregnant with a baby boy, but the doctors told her that he would probably die because an ultrasound revealed that he had an aneurysm.
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Now given Nicole's history, I thought she would fall apart.
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But she didn't. She didn't.
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The baby needed life-saving surgery shortly after birth, and Nicole, understandably and very appropriately, was very anxious during the surgery, as the doctors operated.
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But she stuck with it, and so did he.
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Today, he is a healthy, thriving little boy, and also really cute, by the way.
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Really cute. Cute kid.
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And Nicole, she is a super-resilient mom because she faced anxiety.
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You are a lot more like Nicole than you think.
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There have been many times in your life where you, too, embraced anxiety.
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When you embraced the discomfort, when you persevered, although you felt panicky and worried.
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And you've done this because, deep in your heart, you know that you cannot get rid of all of your anxiety, and it will always be uncomfortable.
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And that's why pushing against it creates mental muscle tone, which you need ...
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to crest over life's hurdles with grace.
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It can be difficult to love someone who has anxiety, and it's probably even more difficult to receive it.
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But deep human connection, deep emotional connections between people, requires vulnerability.
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So anxiety can be used to create intimacy.
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Think about it.
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In your own life, who are the people who you feel closest to?
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Usually, it's those who you've opened up to about your anxiety in some way.
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I myself -- This is going to be hard, but I'll try.
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I'm terrified of failure.
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I'm terrified of professional failure.
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And I struggle with vulnerability.
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In some ways, this propelled me and fueled my drive for professional success.
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But it created distance in my relationships.
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When I first met my wonderful, wonderful wife, Miri ...
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I put up a wall, and I didn't speak enough about my feelings, and I submerged my anxiety by focusing on my work.
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Right? Pretty classic, right?
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(Laughter) You don't need to be a psychotherapist to figure that one out.
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(Laughter) Of course, the feelings didn't go away.
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We all have this, like, chef, in the back of our emotional kitchen.
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Well, my chef cooked up these entrées of edginess, side orders of criticism and a whole bunch of other dishes that I'm not going to speak about in public.
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(Laughter) But Miri, thankfully, stuck with me.
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And more importantly, she consistently showed me that she would never judge me if I failed.
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Eventually, I got the message.
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It took a while, but that unconditional love that I received allowed me to take the plunge, drop my guard, lower my defenses and identify what I was afraid of and to share it with her.
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I think it's the hardest thing I ever did my whole life.
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Definitely harder than anything in the professional realm.
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But there's nothing more worthwhile than taking our anxiety and turning it into love.
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Losing control is utterly terrifying.
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It's terrifying.
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It's happened to everyone.
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But, but ...
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As long as you have a heads-up, as long as you expect it and you're a willing participant, doesn't it feel good to let go?
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You don't need to be a thrill-seeker to appreciate this.
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Adrenaline ...
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A shot of it comes with pure joy followed by this blissful tranquility, like, wow.
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And perhaps for that reason, even in this age of unprecedented, incredible anxiety, action and adventure movies, they make up more than 50 percent of box-office sales.
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And the most profitable genre of film is horror.
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(Laughter) It's funny.
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(Laughter) Now life isn't a movie, so it's very good to shape the world in accordance with your vision on a daily basis.
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It's very important that we do that.
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But, once in a while ...
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It's a human need to take a seat and go for a ride on the roller coaster of life, to let go.
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(Laughter) Doing so keeps your ego in check.
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Some people view this surrender in spiritual terms.
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The Serenity Prayer, very commonly used to cope with anxiety, and it famously states "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Now when you're ready -- not before you're ready, please, but when you're ready -- affirming the limits of your control ...
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it brings inner peace.
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Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of.
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We all have it.
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And it's not going away.
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Here are four steps that you can use to turn anxiety into your ally, not your enemy.
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But please, if anxiety interferes with your life, if it's clinical, don't just rely on this approach.
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Get the professional help you need.
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If we have an agreement on that, then I'll tell you the four steps.
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(Laughter) OK. Step number one -- identify.
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Many times, when you feel anxious, you squelch the sensations and push them out of your mind before you've even processed what you're worried about.
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Stop. Take a minute and ask yourself, "What am I truly afraid of?" Like what really is at the bottom of my fear?
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If you don't know the answer, that's fine.
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Go for a walk and don't come back until you have an answer.
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(Laughter) Step two -- share.
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Speak about your anxiety, with a friend, with a neighbor, with a coworker, with a stranger.
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I'm serious.
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If you're not ready for a conversation, that's fine.
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Text it. If it's more than a couple lines, sure.
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Email. Press send.
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Take the plunge. Be vulnerable.
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Step three -- embrace.
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When you feel anxious -- not "if" -- you will.
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You will feel anxious.
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And when it happens, don't fight it.
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Don't squelch it.
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Let it happen, let it ride, let it ride.
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In fact, do things that make you uncomfortable.
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Intentionally. Repeatedly.
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As long as they're safe.
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That's how we build emotional resilience.
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And finally, my favorite, four.
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Let go. Let go.
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Think back to step number one.
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What are you truly afraid of?
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And then, when you're ready, humbly admit, even for a moment, that you are not in full control of that outcome.
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It's scary to even think about, but it's not a bad thing.
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Firstly, sometimes challenges are a blessing in disguise, but either way, enjoy not being responsible for everything under the sun.
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OK, should I try the four steps?
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Yeah, I'll give it a shot.
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Identify. The hardest part about this talk was speaking about my anxiety in public.
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I was afraid you would judge me.
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It's really quiet in here.
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Did you judge me?
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(Laughter) OK. That made me really anxious.
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(Laughter) Share.
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OK, so I'm revealing this to you now because we've spent, like, 10 minutes together, and I've grown to like you.
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So I want more of an emotional connection here, and I hope it's mutual.
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(Laughter) OK, thanks.
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(Cheers and applause) (Exhales) (Laughter) Three -- embrace.
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Do you know what it's like to stand on this red dot and to speak about, like, all your issues in public?
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(Laughter) It's like diving off a cliff.
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Especially, remember that part about my emotional kitchen?
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Like, that was really vulnerable for me.
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(Laughter) And let go.
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So I'm sending this message about anxiety off into the universe.
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I hope that it will land on the hearts, minds and souls of a broader audience.
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But really, there's nothing I can do about that anymore.
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(Laughter) And that's OK.
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That's OK. So please join me.
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What are the four steps?
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Let's say them together so we remember.
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(With the audience) Identify, share, embrace, let go.
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Thank you very much.
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(Applause)
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발표자 David H. Rosmarin의 연설에서 사용할 수 있는 몇 가지 핵심 구조를 분석해보겠습니다:
- “I vividly remember...” - 예를 들어서 감정을 직접적으로 전달할 수 있습니다. 이는 자신의 경험을 토대로 이야기를 구성할 때 유용한 구조입니다.
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- "Once, early in his career..." - 과거의 경험을 회상하며 현재와 연결하는 문법 구조로, 한국어에서도 쉽게 응용할 수 있습니다.
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