쉐도잉 연습: The Secret to Getting Anything You Want in Life given by Jennifer Cohen | Jen Cohen | TEDxBuckhead - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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Reviewer Gopalco So I know the secret to getting anything you want in life.
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Reviewer Gopalco So I know the secret to getting anything you want in life.
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But before I share it with you, let's talk about why we don't get what we want.
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We all have fear.
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Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough.
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But all of those things stem from one core place, and that's self-doubt.
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Self-doubt is why we get a crappy job.
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It's why we don't get the body we want or make the money we deserve
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and stay in relationships much longer than we know we should.
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Self-doubt is why we never change and we don't take action.
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So then, what is self-doubt?
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Self-doubt is a story we tell ourselves that we can't do something and that it's not possible.
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How we'll get rejected and fail.
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Which is why it's oftentimes smart people often fail.
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When you're really smart, you're really good at predicting all the possible negative outcomes.
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So you never take action.
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That's why it's my belief that boldness is a stronger indicator of success than intelligence.
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Smart people think of all the negative things that will happen when things go wrong.
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But bold people think of all the good things that will happen when things go right.
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Now, I'm not saying that smart people can't be bold and that bold people can't be smart.
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But it's boldness that's the secret sauce.
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Boldness is what puts you on the path to success.
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Hmm, I need some water.
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So when I was 18 years old, I had a really big dream.
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I'm from a little small town in Canada called Winnipeg.
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And my big dream in life was to be a VJ for Much Music.
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You guys know what that is?
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That's like MTV for you guys.
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So I wanted to be like the female Carson Daly.
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I mean, I'm kind of dating myself, but you guys got the point, right?
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So I knew the job was super competitive.
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So I thought to myself, okay, I need to make a killer demo tape, and that demo tape will get me the job.
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Cut to Keanu Reeves.
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Keanu Reeves was the biggest movie star of all time.
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And unbeknownst to me, he always wanted to be in Shakespeare.
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Right?
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And he just finished Speed, the movie, and he thought, what a better time and place than to go to Winnipeg,
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Manitoba, where it's minus 40, and perform Hamlet.
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So I thought to myself, that's a great moment.
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I'm going to get Keanu Reeves to be on my demo tape for MuchMusic and I'm going to get my dream job.
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So I told my family, I told my friends, And of course everyone just laughed at me.
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The next day, when I knew he was in town, I went to the theater where he was performing, stood in the back, and waited.
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Now, 10 minutes turned into 20, 20 turned into 30, 30 turned into over an hour, and now I'm frostbitten.
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My friend I took with me went home long ago, and yet I was still determined.
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Five minutes later, there he comes, walking out of the back of the theater.
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I boldly walk through all the girls and all the media and all the cameras, and I tap him on the shoulder and I say,
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Keanu, you're going to be my ticket to my dream job.
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And he of course looks at me dumbfounded and says, how about I just give you an autograph?
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And I said, autograph?
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Why do I want your autograph?
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That doesn't help me at all.
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I need you to get me my dream job. So determined.
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He of course tries to blow me off
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and says give me your phone number and I will call you when I have a couple minutes.
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So I grabbed some girl who I don't know and she had an eyeliner in her purse.
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I took the eyeliner, I took my gum wrapper in my pocket, wrote my number, I wrote my name and I handed it to him and I ran away.
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I go to school the next day, I tell my friends, of course tell my family and everyone laughs at me and teases me.
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Day two, same thing happens, but now more kids know, and now everyone's teasing me like, oh, yeah, did Keanu call you?
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Like, ha-ha, like, what a loser you are.
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Of course, no call.
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And same thing happened day three.
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But I go home on that third day.
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My mom says, did you hear the answering machine?
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I'm like, no. And at the time, of course, I'm dating myself, an answering machine.
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We didn't have voicemails back then, okay?
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Just letting you know.
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So then I go press play, and what do I hear?
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I hear a man's voice saying on the phone with my mom picking up, is Jennifer there?
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My mother then says, who is this?
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And I hear, this is Keanu calling for Jennifer.
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Is she home?
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My mother says, she's at school.
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Call back and hangs up on him.
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So I was like, oh, my God.
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The next message, same thing, but Keanu saying, hi, this is Jennifer, this is my phone number, you were saying something to me about something,
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I wasn't sure what you were saying, but call me back.
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I was freaking out, right?
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Freaking.
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So once I got my composure, I called him back, explained to him very boldly what I was talking about,
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and the next thing you know, two days later, he's sitting on my parents' sofa in our living room
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with my three friends holding amateur camcorders
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and someone holding a boom hitting him in the face and I had my Oprah moment.
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All right, I got that demo tape.
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Now look, now did I get the greatest demo tape of all time?
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You bet I did.
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Did I get the job interview at Much Music?
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I sure did.
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Did I get the audition?
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Yes I did.
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You're right.
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You're right.
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Did I get the job?
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Hell no, I did not get the job.
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So why am I even telling you this story?
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And the reason why I'm telling you this story is is that was a very pivotal moment for me in my life.
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It taught me a real big truth about success, which is, you need to ask for what you want.
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Period.
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You need to ask.
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You know that saying, it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease?
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It's actually quite true.
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In a time now, we are bombarded with information overload from every influencer or expert telling you how to be successful.
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Do this, do that, do the other thing.
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When it's really the most basic, simple thing you can do.
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You need to stop deliberating, stop planning, stop creating flow charts, and just act.
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Now, in the words of another fellow Canadian, you miss 100% of the shots that you don't take.
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So when you think to yourself, what does boldness really mean?
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It basically comes down to this.
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You chase what you want and you don't take what you can get.
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The problem is most of us live on default.
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We default to what's convenient.
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We take what's available and we acquiesce to what's in front of us.
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Now what I've realized is that there is a really big misconception of what boldness really is.
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People assume that boldness is something you're either born with or you're not.
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But that's actually quite not true.
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That's not quite true.
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Boldness is a skill like anything else.
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You need to practice it.
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You need to harness it to get better and better at it.
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There is a mindset that I developed and it's called a 10% target.
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And what that is, is basically very simple.
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The idea is that you, whatever you want most in life, you make 10 attempts.
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The problem is most people don't make 10 attempts.
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The truth is most people don't even make one attempt.
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They call themselves out before they even try.
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And the purpose of the 10% target is to get very comfortable at failing 90% of the time.
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Now I guarantee if you make 10 attempts at anything,
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one will be successful.
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Because here's what I know.
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Either one, you'll get the thing you want.
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Or two, you will get something that you never even knew available.
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I want to take one step back because this is what normally happens.
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What most people do is the reason why most people don't get the job they want is
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because they don't actually go for the job they want.
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see what's available on monster.com or LinkedIn.
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And the reason why most people don't get the money they want is, guess what?
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They don't ask for the money that they want.
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Actually, a survey was taken of over 160,000 people who actually really believe that they deserve to make more money.
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And two-thirds of those people never even asked for a raise.
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But the 70% of the people who did ask for a raise got it.
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What does that tell you?
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Now I want to go back because I was making another point about the 10% target.
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The 10% target, like I was saying, does two things.
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Number one, it makes you comfortable with failing 90% of the time.
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Number two, it gives you the resilience and the skill.
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That's the wrong slide.
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Let's go back.
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To be comfortable.
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Another example, when you go to a restaurant, most of us, what we do is we order what's off on the menu.
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But really what being bold means is ordering from off the menu because,
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well, because I'll tell you
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when I go to a restaurant what I do is I see a flood of ingredients
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and then I typically kind of like make my own mishmash.
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Now I think that's being very bold,
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however I'm sure the server thinks it's very annoying and possibly more times than not my food will be spat in,
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but I get what I want and they ask very nicely.
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But the reason for that is when you are comfortable with asking for the small things in life,
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it gives you the skills, the habit and the confidence to ask for the big things in life.
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So how do you practice failing 9 out of 10 times?
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Or how do you get comfortable failing 9 out of 10 times?
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And the answer is practice.
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The more you do something over and over and over again that becomes your normal.
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Just how you would train your body to be strong, you train your brain to be bold.
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Aha see your brain now is bold with this beautiful picture, thank you.
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So I have one action item here for everybody here which is write down
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anything you want most in life and then make 10 attempts at it.
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And it has to be 10 attempts.
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You have to embrace the 10% target.
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You have to commit to making 10 attempts.
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Because that's how.. the idea is you are basically chasing what you want and not just taking what you can get.
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Now I had a whole section here about all of of my colossal failures and how they led to a million successes,
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and I took it out.
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Because we've all had that.
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We've all had failures.
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We've all had successes.
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And the truth is, it doesn't really matter.
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What matters is I'm living proof that when you chase what you want and don't just take what you can get,
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you are exponentially more happy and more satisfied with your life.
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The one thing that I know for sure about the 10% target is that it works a hundred percent of the time.
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Because you either get the one thing you want, or you get the thing that you were meant to do.
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Now I wasn't the fastest athlete.
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I wasn't the prettiest girl or the smartest in the class by far.
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But I still became a best-selling author, an entrepreneur who sold companies for millions of dollars,
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co-founder of a breast cancer charity that raises thousands of dollars year after year,
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all by failing 90% of the time.
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And you can too.
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You could fail to succeed by failing.
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You could fail to become successful by just chasing what you want and not taking what you get.
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Thank you.
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일상 대화를 위한 상위 5개 문구
- 자신의 꿈을 이루기 위해 행동하세요. (Take action to achieve your dreams.)
- 대담함이 성공의 비결입니다. (Boldness is the secret to success.)
- 자기 의심은 우리가 원하는 것을 추구하는데 방해가 됩니다. (Self-doubt hinders us from pursuing what we want.)
- 부정적인 결과를 예상하기보다는 긍정적인 결과를 바라보세요. (Look forward to positive outcomes rather than negative ones.)
- 스마트함보다 대담함이 더 중요합니다. (Boldness is more important than intelligence.)
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