Shadowing Practice: 2162 - Dating Someone Much Older? Is It Accepted in American Culture? - Learn English Speaking with Video

hey there michelle how's everything going today how you doing Good.

I'm glad to be here.

How are you?

I am great.

I'm great.

Do you have a question for me today?

Are we talking about relationships?

Yes, this is an interesting episode topic.

I'm excited for this.

Lizzie, have you ever been in a May -December relationship?

Oh, that's a really interesting.

First of all, when you asked that, I said, what does that mean?

Yeah.

I've been close to it.

I mean, currently, you know, my spouse is seven and a half years younger than me.

That's not quite technically a May to December relationship, but getting there, getting there.

What about you, Michelle?

Have you ever been in a May to December,

to just date people like within a couple of years now dan is actually only 11 days older than okay

so we're pretty much so

but it's always fun those 11 days i like to say how much younger i am

and that i'm with an older man that is fun i love

that we're gonna get into this concept today michelle of may december relationship

because a listener asked us a question but first where are we going where should we our listeners go Okay.

So check out episode 2137.

That was this Friday or next Friday, how to clarify calendar dates in English.

So that was a fun one.

I remember.

I know that was an important episode, Michelle, because what are we trying to do?

We're going for connection.

Then we need to make plans to build human connections.

So it really matters to clarify this Friday, next Friday, this coming you're at it,

hit the follow button on All Ears English so that you don't miss a single episode.

Right, Michelle?

Definitely.

Please do that.

And also one more thing before we get into it.

At the end of the episode, we will be having a Spotify key poll.

So we like to interact with you guys.

Yes.

Ask questions.

So wait until the end of the episode and we will be introducing this poll.

We want to hear from you. from Taiwan.

Three years ago, I started listening to All Ears English, and since then, I became a diehard fan of yours.

By the way, thank you.

Thank you, Vivian.

Yes.

I want to ask a question.

There's a new movie called May -December coming out.

At first, I was curious about how the title came into place.

After collecting some information, I found out that it has something to do with the

December relationship is well accepted in the U .S or not.

Besides, could you please share more phrases like this?

Thanks in advance.

Best regards, Vivian.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

Well, first of all, had you heard of this term before Vivian emailed us?

No. Never.

And you know what?

Yeah.

So then apparently, I mean, this is quite a movie.

This is about a very large May -December relationship.

I'm not going to get into it, but about a problematic one.

wide age gap

which is one of our key words for today right lindsay

yeah we're going to talk about how to use the word gap in different ways to describe differences right

that is what we're going to really come out of today's episode plus a little pop culture around this movie

and just kind of

other talking about yeah talking about relationships

and what we know in american culture yeah

so technically what is the definition then of a may december relationship michelle um

so i what what it seems to me is that it's um like 10 years or more.

Where did I see that?

Okay.

We see that.

You said 10 years or more.

Yeah.

I think we Googled it.

So 10 years or more just with a relationship where the age gap is pretty significant.

A decade is pretty significant.

Don't you think?

Yeah.

I mean, Lindsay, do you know anyone who has a wide age gap in their relationship?

yeah i have two good friends uh two good friends who

have about a 24 year gap uh in their relationship

and they've been together for i think five

or six years now quite a while they'll probably be together forever

and so i've seen it work it absolutely works with them

so yeah it's just so personal it's so different depending on the couple

and the people in the relationship the maturity of too.

I mean, some people are a little more mature, so they might get along in a relationship better with someone who is a little bit older.

So it really, it really depends.

But yeah, for me, my grandparents, I think they were maybe 13 years apart.

And an uncle also pretty more than 10 years.

So I definitely know people who have had these relationships, very good relationships.

have oh yeah gaps I mean I think that's like what was it Demi Moore

and Ashton Kutcher that was a big one yeah are they still together I don't even know

100

but I can't keep up with some celebrity relations oh no

101

no no they're not together I had to think about it but no they're not

102

right yeah oh oh but you know one who is still together I only know this

103

because I recently they popped up on something for me is um Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart they've been together

104

Douglas so there are okay okay ones that

105

that work Celine Dion had a wide age gap with her

106

husband I love Celine Dion she's also a great singer as well I love

107

that okay so what else do we want to say about this what about within the U .S.

108

Michelle what is the cultural thinking in American culture around this

109

kind of May December relationship yeah anything with 10 years or more Yeah, I mean, I think it depends on the age, like if it's too young.

110

I mean, certainly that has to be a legal relationship, right?

111

Obviously.

112

Yeah.

113

But, but I mean, I think, I mean, I think, I think when I think now it's a little bit different at the age I am now.

114

But if I were to have like, let's say I had a friend who was now going out with like a friend who's my age,

115

like mid 30s, like going out with a 20 year old two -year -old um I might be like, that's a little bit interesting.

116

But again, it's not for me to judge.

117

I think that these can work.

118

I mean, do you think that in the US, these relationships are frowned upon or what do you think?

119

I think the older each party is the better um it

120

because things tend to even out as we get older I

121

just want to be clear to our listeners we are talking about in this scenario where both parties

122

over the age of 18 okay just to be 100 exactly

123

yes yes guys i'm gonna be clear here just to be explicit um over the age of 18

124

and preferably over the age of 22 or 20 mid -20s right we

125

so that's why i'm saying like legally obviously but then once you know

126

if the younger party in the relationship is like 40

127

and the older party is 50 let's say that's gonna work better than

128

if the younger party is 25 and the older party is 35.

129

in my experience and my knowledge of just the way people mature i think true

130

because i guess the 25 year old might have some more wild oats to see yeah to us

131

so what is that expression so you're wild yeah that's all yeah yeah

132

so i think the more experience each person has it is probably better

133

but listen like everybody's different i have a friend who and i mean her husband is i i want to

134

have a child there, you know, they seem to have a really good marriage.

135

So you can definitely have a strong relationship with May December relationship, we're calling it, I mean,

136

Like I said, Dan and I are 11 days apart.

137

So for what it's not what makes our relationship, but sometimes it's kind of fun because we have all of the same.

138

references and we can you know we knew all the same songs all the same tv shows like yeah

139

so that's kind of fun

140

but in the same way then we're not like learning you

141

know there there's like yeah yeah you know yeah that's interesting

142

that's true it's the references thing it's the feeling of like

143

we grew up at the same time you know the same things were happening

144

that builds connection so obviously if you don't have that you have to have something much stronger to base your

145

of my very close friends is also in i think a 15 year gap or age gap in his relationship so

146

yeah there definitely are people that i know that are close to me

147

that have these big gaps for whatever reason um

148

and it works for them you know in my friend's case he's got two kids

149

and another one coming next year probably and just it works um

150

but in terms of like american culture michelle would you say broadly speaking accepted not accepted what do we think Oh, if I have to choose one?

151

it isn't accepted you know i i mean i think it

152

is like broadly i think it is yeah i think we're

153

pretty open -minded around you know it depends on personality uh your family

154

but i think generally american culture accepts age gaps in relationships i would say yeah yeah yeah you do sometimes see much

155

older men with much younger, like I'm thinking of Hugh Hefner, like, you know, you do sometimes see that kind of a thing and you,

156

you roll your eyes a little bit.

157

Yeah.

158

Yeah.

159

But who am I to say, listen, I, I, I don't know.

160

Um, but you can have a strong relationship with an age gap.

161

Um, guys, we did find an article from brides .com, which was do May, December relationships actually work.

162

but it was updated on May 1st, 2022.

163

Just a couple points.

164

I mean, there is a they spoke to a social worker,

165

Rochelle Khanna, who said the best is a one to five year difference. So, interesting.

166

But again, like that doesn't like I when I think of I guess

167

because my grandparents had a May December relationship and they had such a good marriage.

168

I didn't

169

i don't think much of it do you know what i

170

mean totally yeah i i think it's it's too simple for a social worker

171

or psychologist to say this is the right formula

172

because human beings are not simple there's so many things

173

that could connect you to someone way beyond age you know

174

so it's just not i think i thought of uh uh

175

another word we could teach um okay an old soul yes that's i actually had thought about

176

that at the top of the episode let's teach our listeners that real quick let's do

177

break and then we'll come back and talk about a poll

178

and maybe a few other vocabulary expressions all right it sounds good yeah

179

so what's an old soul all right

180

so this is good a lot of people will use this

181

to talk about themselves where they basically they're just more mature

182

for their age than people their age right maybe they in

183

their mind they feel like they were born maybe 10 years earlier

184

or 20 years earlier or 30 years earlier or 100 years i don't know they just don't necessarily era.

185

do you so yeah I have a friend who's she's like obsessed with everything 70s um the music everything

186

and I think she says

187

that she feels like she was brought in like born in the wrong era do you ever feel

188

that about yourself not really I I reminisce

189

and I feel kind of nostalgic for the 80s

190

and the 90s just

191

because it feels like it was a simpler time without technology without Facebook without all these things

192

but I think a lot of us feel that way you know yeah so I don't I don't think I'm an

193

No, that's funny.

194

Yeah. So, okay.

195

All right, Michelle, where should we go next for our listeners?

196

What can our listeners take away?

197

What should we teach our listeners?

198

We talked about that word gap.

199

What do we want our listeners to come away with?

200

Yes, exactly.

201

So other terms, we were talking about an age gap, right?

202

We threw that out a lot today.

203

So you could say, oh, like there's a big age gap between my partner and I.

204

Yeah, there's a big age gap.

205

And then another one that would tie in with this conversation, guys, or even I think you could say generation gap too would probably be fine.

206

So what does this mean, Michelle?

207

How is this different from age gap?

208

I think it's more about like the, it's not so much about the number age.

209

It's more about the time.

210

Right.

211

Yeah.

212

Between it's very close.

213

What do you think?

214

A hundred percent.

215

I think because generations are cultures, right?

216

Now we have I'm right in the middle.

217

I'm 81.

218

So I'm a cusper.

219

But we're very different generations with honestly kind of different values towards work, towards technology.

220

And then if one person is Gen X and one is millennial, you are going to have a generation gap.

221

right you'll also have an age gap but what are you talking about age

222

or generation different conversation yeah right

223

and then we have one more gap we're gonna talk about a values gap what's a values gap

224

so I mean this kind of goes along with generations generations have different values it could be

225

that simple so you may also you may have all three of these

226

but maybe you just want to talk about one of them

227

you know maybe um the millennial generation values uh autonomy and I'm just making the C's here, right?

228

And maybe the Gen X generation values stability, okay?

229

These two aren't necessarily the same thing.

230

We can't always find both in a job.

231

So there's a values gap, all right?

232

Interesting stuff.

233

Yeah, exactly.

234

We talk about that a lot nowadays with the values gap between, you know, the, I guess,

235

Gen X and not Gen X and like after the global health crisis and everything like that.

236

So and how work has changed.

237

So there's a lot there.

238

I think it's especially because now on

239

I'm I'm always seeing all these these memes coming up where

240

the same actor just an influencer will imitate each generation

241

and they'll be like yeah like how millennial generation comes back

242

from Christmas break like the the Monday morning after you know they're coming in with a big water bottle

243

and versus like how Gen X does it and how boomers do it

244

and you know it's hilarious it's you know we're obviously exaggerating these differences

245

and having fun with it but these are funny funny memes send that to me.

246

That sounds like fun.

247

They're so funny.

248

Okay.

249

So where are we taking this today?

250

Yeah.

251

Guys, well, before we go, well, I do have one last question.

252

Okay.

253

What about friendships?

254

Do you, like, are most of your friends, like, would you say most of your friends are the same age as you, older or younger, or is it a whole mix?

255

Actually, most of my friends are older and I have had a big age gaps in my friendship.

256

So I have a good friend who's in his 50s, late 40s.

257

So actually my friends turned older.

258

Yeah.

259

Yeah.

260

Quite a bit.

261

Yeah.

262

Interesting.

263

I would say I'm, it's funny because I think my friends are right now, either my age or older.

264

Um, yeah, one of my, I mean, some of my just a year older, a couple months older or whatever.

265

Um, I do have friends who are 15 years older than I am and like one of my best friends.

266

Um, and, but I don't really have too many younger friends, but as I get older, I feel like my friends will be younger.

267

Well, it comes back to another clip.

268

the oldest person in the room.

269

But before we go, guys, we do have that Spotify poll.

270

So, uh, on Spotify.

271

What is that?

272

Yes.

273

We want to know, have you ever been in a May December relationship?

274

Let us know.

275

I'm curious what our listeners have to say.

276

I'm definitely also please comment.

277

Do you know what is it like in your culture?

278

I mean, are they accepted?

279

Are they not accepted?

280

Definitely.

281

So, so much interesting stuff over here.

282

So definitely please comment and answer

283

that poll yeah guys let us know I'm excited you know take

284

that poll so we can know

285

and we are definitely going to be announcing this poll somewhere

286

in the next few months back on all there's English

287

so good conversation topic for our listeners today right Michelle start this conversation with a friend

288

if you want use these terms generation gap age gap all

289

very useful for connection yeah yes this is this is fun it is definitely a fun conversation topic

290

so go ahead and you know bring it up with and things like that.

291

Yeah.

292

Good stuff.

293

All right, Michelle, I'll talk to you very soon.

294

Have a good day.

295

All right.

296

Bye.

297

You too.

298

Bye.

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Context & Background

This dialogue features two speakers, Lindsay and Michelle, discussing the concept of "May December" relationships, where there is a significant age gap between partners. Their conversation provides insights into personal experiences and societal attitudes towards such relationships in American culture. The topic was prompted by a listener, Vivian from Taiwan, who is curious about the acceptability of these relationships and seeks to learn more about relevant phrases for effective communication in English. The discussion aims to clarify cultural perspectives while also delving into the linguistic aspects surrounding relationships.

Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication

May December relationship: A relationship where there is a significant age gap, usually ten years or more.
Wide age gap: Refers to a considerable difference in age between partners.
Get along: To have a harmonious relationship; important to describe how well partners in a relationship connect.
Wild oats: An expression that refers to the youthful experiences and life exploration one goes through before settling down.
Growing up at the same time: A shared generational experience that can foster a deeper connection between partners.

Step-by-step Shadowing Guide

To effectively improve your English pronunciation and comprehension using the shadowing technique, follow these steps based on the video content:

Select Short Segments: Choose brief sections of the video where the speakers discuss key phrases related to relationships. This makes it easier to focus on pronunciation and intonation.
Listen Several Times: Play the segments multiple times before attempting to repeat them. Pay close attention to how the words flow together and the emotional tone behind the dialogue.
Shadow Speak: Use a shadowing app to mimic what you hear. Start by saying phrases softly and gradually increase your volume as you gain confidence.
Record Yourself: Capture your repetitions and compare them to the original audio. This helps identify areas where you can improve your accent and fluency.
Practice Regularly: Incorporate this technique into your daily routine. Regular practice will help solidify your understanding and ability to speak English fluently.

By utilizing the shadowspeaks method, you can enhance your speaking skills and improve your English pronunciation effectively, making communication about complex topics, such as relationships, more accessible and engaging.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've been · Have you ever been · they've been
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	anyone who has · someone who is · people who have
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	are frowned · isn't accepted · was updated
Possibility with “might / may” might/may + verb — something that is possible but not certain	may december · might get · might be

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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