Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: How to Set the Right Goals and Stay Motivated | Ayelet Fishbach | TED

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A good friend has recently shared that she's feeling tired, like really tired.
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A good friend has recently shared that she's feeling tired, like really tired.
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Not I did not get enough sleep tired,
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but something deeper than that.
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She said she feels, and I'm quoting,
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as if I have lost my motivation.
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I call her brave because she's so clearly dedicated to her job and conducts herself with professionalism and kindness.
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She's a wonderful parent who cares for her children,
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and she's very responsible when it gets to her finance and health.
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She is not alone in feeling unmotivated.
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Millennial and Gen Z employees tell me that they feel uninspired at work.
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Some admit that they just don't care.
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Half of American employees are currently looking for a different job.
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Think about that.
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Older employees tell me that they can't wait to retire.
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And when I ask about life at home,
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people say that they struggle with their finance and health.
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Do you?
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The national data suggests that chronic diseases,
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such as diabetes and heart disease, are on arise?
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The median American family has only beat over $5,000 in savings,
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barely enough to pay next month's rent.
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Did America lose its motivation?
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Well, the answer is no. Terranite,
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you cannot lose your motivation because you never owned it in the first place.
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Motivation, and that shouldn't surprise you,
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isn't your car key or wallet.
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So what is it?
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Well, motivation is not about being strong, it's about being wise.
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Let me explain.
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You may think of motivation as a muscle,
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thinking some people have strong motivation muscles,
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others are weak, but this is not a good metaphor.
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Motivation is knowledge.
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You learn how to be motivated.
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And so today, I would like to help each of you,
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and America, become wiser so that you are more motivated and hence better able to achieve your goals,
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your dreams, your aspirations.
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And given what the world has been throwing at you,
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that might be a good time to refresh your knowledge.
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To be motivated, you either change the situation or the way you think about the situation.
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This is the science in one sentence.
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You change the circumstances or the way you think about the circumstances.
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So, if you want to be more physically active,
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there is no point in yelling at yourself,
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I yell it, you should walk more.
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Instead, I got a puppy.
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She loves long walks.
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Your journey starts with setting a goal.
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My friend wanted to be motivated at work,
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so she identified a project she wanted to complete.
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That was goal and it's a good motivation strategy.
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Goals pull you.
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The problem, my friend identified a project she wished he had already completed,
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not something she was looking forward to doing.
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Have you ever set a goal you wish you had already completed but had less interest in actually completing?
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Most goals are abandoned because we want to be the person who has done it,
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not the person who is currently doing it.
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When we are excited about doing the work, we are intrinsically motivated.
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We care about the way almost as much as we are looking forward to the destination.
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In our research we found that most goals are abandoned not because they are not important.
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Okay, people actually are not more likely to adhere to their important compared to unimportant goals.
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Most goals are abandoned because people don't enjoy pursuing it.
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Your enjoyment is what predicts whether you will stick with the goal.
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So what makes goals exciting?
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Exciting goals are never a chore or a meal.
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Ever wondered why Chicago diners would circle the block for 30 minutes looking for free parking
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But we will not think twice before spending the money they have just saved on parking on ordering another cocktail.
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Why pay for drinks and not for parking?
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Well, we don't like to pay for parking or shipping.
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Students don't like to study for prerequisite classes because all these are memes.
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We don't like to invest in memes.
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We did a study that showed us just how much you dislike to invest in means.
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In our study, we auctioned a book for some people,
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and then we auctioned the University of Chicago tote bag to other people.
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The average person was willing to pay $23 for the book,
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but only $12 for the tote bag.
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The catch?
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The tote bag contained the book.
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people knew it.
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Why would the people that were bidding on a tote bag that contain a book be willing to pay less?
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Well, we don't like to invest in means.
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Okay, so you said a goal that is intrinsically motivated.
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You are excited about the way just as much as you want to reach the destination,
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a couple of weeks passed and you have not been doing much lately.
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It has now been four or six months and your motivation is on the decline.
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How do you sustain your motivation?
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How do you get from here to there?
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Well motivation is going to be high when we just start on something and toward the end,
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but it will decline in the middle.
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We call it the middle problem.
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My friend might start her project with much enthusiasm,
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then her motivation will decline.
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Toward the deadline, it will pick up again.
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She will regain her motivation.
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A few years ago,
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we asked people who observed the Hanukkah holiday to let us
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know whether they were lighting the first candle on the first night,
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the second on the second night,
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the third night, so on, until the eighth night.
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As you can see, most people admitted to only lighting the candles on the first and last night.
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They were procrastinating in the middle.
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The solution?
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Make middles short.
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A monthly exercise goal, a weekly exercise goal,
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even a daily exercise goal,
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are easier because as the end is near,
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it is easier to stay motivated.
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If only Hanukkah was just two nights.
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Another problem with middles is that you're going to experience setbacks,
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and when experiencing setbacks, it is natural to feel discouraged.
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One wise solution is to remove your ego out of the picture.
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It's not about it.
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When you remove your ego,
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it is easier to learn.
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When I was helping my 10-year-old son win a video game,
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he awarded me the title a failure expert.
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I love this title.
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Why am I a failure expert?
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Because I don't mind getting killed by virtual monsters.
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He doesn't mind seeing me getting beaten by virtual monsters.
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So we can both learn.
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At work, when you're not quite killing it,
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remove your ego and you will be better able to learn.
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Another solution is to seek discomfort if only temporarily instead of trying to avoid it.
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When you seek discomfort temporarily you realize that you can grow yourself,
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that discomfort is a sign of growth.
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No pain no gain is not just about the gym,
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it's a general wise motivation strategy.
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Let me tell you about a study that we conducted with Chicago's beloved improvisation club,
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the Second City.
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We worked with their training center,
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which is where regular people like you and me go to learn improvisation.
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We were specifically interested in one exercise, deep focus.
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In In this exercise, one person gets the center of stage.
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Everybody else is frozen in place.
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This person is moving around.
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Everybody else is watching.
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We invited some people to feel awkward and uncomfortable as they run through the exercise.
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Others in the control group were invited to develop those skills.
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Who was more daring taking the stage for longer?
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Well, as you can see,
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it was the people that we invited to feel uncomfortable.
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In one wave of classes,
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asking people to feel uncomfortable doubled the time they took focus.
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Those people were also more daring.
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For example, they were dancing a little instead of just walking around.
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And they also reported they were growing themselves more compared to those in the control group.
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Okay, but here's the problem.
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You don't only have one goal.
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For my friend, the challenge was balancing between work and family.
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Now, if you have not experienced the work-family conflict,
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you either don't have a job,
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or that you forgot that you also have a family.
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But it is wiser to think about these goals as balancing each other.
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When my friend realized that doing well at work makes her a better family member,
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she was more motivated and happier to do both.
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Think about your goals like dishes around the buffet table.
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You can create the perfect combination.
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It is colorful, delicious, well-balanced.
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Maybe you exercise on the way to work,
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and maybe you listen to an audiobook while you do that.
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Other combinations don't work very well.
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They might feel like a waffle covered with pasta sauce.
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If you try to study for the bar exam while talking to a friend and watching TV,
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this is destructive.
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You need to find the right combination.
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Some people might decide to pursue one goal at a time.
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This is unrealistic.
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At least sometimes you can't wait for retirement to start a family.
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So look for the right balance and harmony.
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Some goals, let's call them temptations,
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should take less warm on your plate.
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However, instead of trying to push them out of mind,
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it might be wise to anticipate them in advance.
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When you anticipate all the alcohol that will be served here later today,
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you can better control your consumption.
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When I anticipate that my colleague is going to be upset,
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I can better control my emotion in a heated debate at work.
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When we anticipate temptations, we are less tempted when we get there.
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In one study, when we reminded employees of all the times they will be tempted to take office supply for personal use,
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they were less likely to do that compared to those in the control group.
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Anticipating temptations make you prepared and hence less tempted.
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All right, what about the person sitting next to you?
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Look at them for a second.
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I will be waiting here.
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How can that person help?
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Your friends, your family, and other people that you love are critical for your motivation.
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They are your lighthouse and you are also important for them.
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Let me tell you a love story that resulted in four Nobel prizes.
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When Marie met Pierre Curie she did not only meet the love of her life.
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She met the person who pushed her to excel in her work on the theory of Friday activity,
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and who later insisted that she will be named on the joint Nobel Prize.
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That was her first.
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The second Nobel Prize, she won by herself with no man by her side.
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The couple had two daughters,
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and they wanted them to excel.
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Their oldest, Iran, won a Nobel Prize with her husband,
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as was the tradition in the Kiwi family.
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Their youngest, even by far the most artistic person in the Kiwi family,
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married someone, won the Nobel Prize,
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and excelled in many other ways.
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The Kiwi family did not only teach us about radioactivity,
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they taught us the importance of feeling supported and supporting others in pursuing goals.
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In your life, you walk with other people,
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maybe together you take care of your pet.
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You walk in the presence of other people,
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maybe those are the people in your gym clubs or in your book club.
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You hold goals for others,
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they hold goals for you.
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this might be a good time to say thank you to the person sitting next to you.
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I will be waiting here.
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Give them a pat on the shoulder.
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My friend came to me not only because I am a motivation scientist
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but also because I'm her friend and as such I wanted her to be successful.
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You may wonder what happened to her.
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Well, she stayed at her job.
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Last time I saw her, her smile seemed bigger.
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She did not find her motivation.
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She learned how to motivate yourself.
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And so, now America, you did not lose your motivation.
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Each of you is working hard,
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pursuing your dreams, balancing the different aspects of your life and it is so important,
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especially in the world we live in today.
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So when you feel discouraged,
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when you feel unmotivated, remember motivation is not about being strong,
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it is about being wise and now we are all wiser.
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Thank you.

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Từ vựng & Cụm từ chính

  • Động lực (motivation): Tình trạng hoặc sức mạnh để hoàn thành một nhiệm vụ.
  • Mục tiêu (goal): Một thứ gì đó mà bạn muốn đạt được trong tương lai.
  • Hào hứng (exciting): Cảm giác phấn khích, vui vẻ trong khi làm việc gì đó.
  • Thay đổi hoàn cảnh (change the situation): Bí quyết để cải thiện động lực của bạn.
  • Xác định dự án (identify a project): Quyết định về một công việc cụ thể mà bạn muốn hoàn thành.
  • Niềm vui (enjoyment): Cảm giác thích thú khi thực hiện nhiệm vụ.
  • Thực hiện (pursue): Theo đuổi một mục tiêu hoặc dự án nào đó.
  • Cảm giác trách nhiệm (sense of responsibility): Sự nhận thức về nghĩa vụ của bản thân.

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