تدريب Shadowing: How emotional intelligence becomes a business standard | Michelle Arrazcaeta | TEDxESMTBerlin - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

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Reviewer Gopal So I want you to picture your next big meeting.

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Reviewer Gopal So I want you to picture your next big meeting.

All the stakeholders around the table.

There's one other person there.

They're a little bit to the side.

They're actively engaging and responding to every comment and decision being said at that table.

But they're not saying a word.

In fact, they're not being called on.

So, who's this mystery person at the table?

This silenced person is emotion.

It's emotion and how emotion is treated in business today.

In fact, I would even argue most people want this person to stay invisible, stay to the side, but not me.

I notice and love emotion and nuance because it helps me uncover human truths and get at the root of things.

Because that's what I do as a brand strategist.

I've been doing that for 15 years.

as a career and leadership coach and a person who is passionate about workplace culture.

Operating with the motions and bringing them to the table is part of the role.

And then furthermore, as a person, it's how I see the world.

It's what comes naturally to me.

But I know, I know I'm different.

I know this is not the norm in business.

I know emotions at the table can be quite uncomfortable for certain people.

But I also know that times are changing.

Two years ago, I saw this beautiful book display, and I got very excited, because when I leaned in, what I saw was a book series of emotional intelligence.

And it was by Harvard Business Review.

and it was sitting next to bestsellers.

And I was like, ooh, the world is catching up.

Like, I'm into this.

I was like, emotion intelligence is important.

It's a theme in popular culture.

It's a familiar term.

It even earned this space at the airport where there's high foot traffic.

I was super excited.

And then, a year later, reality hit.

I had two different C-suite leaders from two different companies comment this to me.

Oh, you do the soft stuff.

Oh, I could feel and see how my skills were being undervalued in that moment, being deprioritized when the projects didn't come through.

And this was wildly frustrating.

I was like, how are business leaders still not seeing what I see that is vital to their business?

How is emotional intelligence on bookshelves and not in boardrooms?

And it's not a knowledge issue because we clearly have the books, right?

I also believe it's not a malicious thing either.

I believe the problem is a perception problem with emotions itself.

Because underneath this comment is an undercurrent, a narrative, a story of what gets valued and what doesn't.

And that story is that emotions are weak and thus unprofessional.

And this isn't just an issue with CEOs, this is a misconception in society, as you can see by the search.

This screenshot was taken a month ago, January 2026.

So people are still searching this, trying to figure this out.

This leads me to believe that if we want to close this gap, we don't necessarily need more research, although that's great.

What we really need is new perspectives, a new narrative that helps people feel differently about emotions.

But before we get into those new narratives, let's define emotions.

So think about what comes to mind when I say this phrase, expressing emotions at work.

Just take a second to note what came to mind.

Because when I asked others, they conjured up these ideas of emotional outbursts and extreme, embarrassing behaviors.

And I want to clarify right now that emotions are not behaviors.

Emotions are what you feel, and behaviors are the reactions to that.

So we need to decouple the two to really start to change this narrative and to get really clear about what we're talking about.

We also need to talk about the perceptions that are feeding this story, because perceptions are layered and they run deep.

So we're going to unpack the perceptions I had to unravel to get here.

This is me.

I was born in the US in the 1980s and 90s, clearly.

It was a time of polka dots.

It was a time of girl power.

And it was a time of the strong female lead.

So if you were to sprinkle on top of that my country's love of independence, that cultural value, I started to picture this superwoman who had no emotions and no need for support.

She was strong.

So while my cultural idols had little to no emotional range, I, on the other hand, had a very different experience growing up.

So, you see, I was a very sensitive child and still am a sensitive person proudly.

But as a child, I was told I was too sensitive, too emotional.

I was spoiled.

So what I was gathering from what I saw and experienced in culture was that emotions aren't good.

Emotions aren't useful to my dreams.

They aren't strong, which is what I wanted to be.

And we don't just absorb this from school and from culture.

We inherit these stories from the generations before us.

Think of the dismissive sayings that you've probably heard.

Don't be emotional, don't be hysterical, leave emotions at the door.

Emotions aren't weak.

Emotions were sold to us that way.

They were misrepresented across decades, across generations, even across countries and cultures.

So question the perceptions that you have of emotions and see if they're even yours, if they're true.

Challenge them like I did.

And ask yourself if you're willing to let past perceptions limit your future.

because your perceptions of emotion really do matter now, especially as the conversation is geared more towards AI, and that feels at odds with emotions and starts to put emotions to the side

because they're not at odds.

They're actually complementary.

This is a chart of the top 10 growing skills according to World Economic Forum.

At the top, unsurprisingly, is AI.

Most people would focus on that.

I want to draw your attention to numbers four through eight, which is also 50 percent of the top 10 skills that are also connected to emotional intelligence.

They are also connected to the number one skill of AI.

In order to master and apply AI you must be able to learn, be resilient to trying and failing and go through that discomfort.

Emotions, paying attention to them and understanding them is foundational in this moment of time.

We are in a time of disruptive change.

We We have no idea what's coming next.

So the next time the thought that emotions are unprofessional runs through your mind, think of this,

and remember that emotions are important, and they are useful in navigating this moment, in thriving in this moment.

I'd even go as far to say that emotion is a future-proof strategy.

Because if emotion drives humans, and humans drive business and opportunity, then emotion is a future-proof strategy for your business and even your career.

Emotions aren't going anywhere.

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So as a strategist, not surprising, I came to a strategy.

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I also know, working with business leaders, that people want to get practical.

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So we're about to get into that.

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But first, I want to lay the foundation of emotions since it is like a new language for people, especially if we are used to putting it to the side and not giving it a voice.

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And according to Brene Brown, the average number of emotions that people can recall is five.

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And the next model I'm going to share with you is called the feelings wheel.

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It was developed by Gloria Wilcox and Jeffrey Roberts, and it had 120 emotions on it.

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My interpretation only has 80 represented.

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The point of this is that when you open up to emotions,

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when you let them speak at the table, what you get is access to all of this rich information, all of this nuance.

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When you give it time to dig deep and get surgical into what you're really feeling, you're able to get clarity.

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And with that clarity, you can articulate what's going on to other people.

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And you're able to drive appropriate action.

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If you presented a project to me and my response was, okay, I'm surprised, You might think, oh, she's in awe of it, she loves it.

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While I might be like, hmm, I'm a little confused as to how they got there.

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And that misunderstanding can drive very different reactions and actions.

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It's like what Dr.

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Susan David said.

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She's a psychologist and an author of emotional agility.

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And she said, emotions are data.

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And that's what this wheel is really showing.

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the resource that emotions provide and the more that you see emotions as data and

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as a source of insight the more you see its value everywhere in business I'm

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going to give you three examples the first example is how emotions offer creative inspiration

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in product and marketing so emotions are actually guiding what you create for people and how you market it, how you tell them about it.

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In product and design, one of the biggest questions you ask, what pain point are you solving for?

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You also don't just ask who are you solving for, you ask what are they going through?

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What's their emotional experience?

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Right?

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When I was working on a product,

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it was a platform for parental leave and the audience were expecting parents but there are more

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stressed type A overwhelmed parents they were not the expecting parents that were anxious or worried so what they

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wanted was control they wanted to hack the system they wanted to feel confident about it what they didn't need was validation or comfort and that insight and nuance really informed how we were designing this product and the experience.

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It was super important.

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And it's the same in marketing and advertising.

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When I was in creative reviews of the work, one of the first questions we would ask is, how does this work make me feel?

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Does it move me as a human?

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So emotions can actually solve business problems if you pay attention to them.

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Second example is how emotions unlock high performance in your teams.

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Expressing emotions is how you build trust, how you build relationships and build that connection.

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And that is key in building teams that are full of leaders and high performance.

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It's what turns colleagues into teammates, managers into leaders, and it also creates space

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for that healthy conflict that's needed for innovation, for the flag raising, for the risk taking.

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And it's not just me.

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Google did this study in 2016, and it was an internal study on their highest performing teams.

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They were trying to figure out the biggest factor.

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And the biggest factor was not technical capability.

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It was psychological safety.

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So if you work with humans and you want them to perform well, also know that you are working with emotions, and emotions are on your side.

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They can help you.

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And my last example is about wise decision-making in your leaders.

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So it's well-studied and known, from neuroscience to behavioral economics, that humans are emotional decision makers.

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So my point here is really to think about the awareness of your emotions.

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Because when you're not aware, what happens is you make decisions from fear, from stress, from lack of sleep, from ego, and you don't even realize it.

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Your inner critic might be killing the next great project, and you have no idea.

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When you are aware of your emotions, all of a sudden you have access to that data, and you're making more informed decisions with good judgment.

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An example of this, I was leading a rebranding project for a company that was almost 100 years old.

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So it was a big deal, it was high stakes.

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And as I was presenting the strategy to the leadership team, the questions I got were like, well, what about this?

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And what if that happens?

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And I realized this meeting was not about rational debates.

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It was a meeting to manage fear.

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It was a meeting to manage the possibility of a mistake or grief in the brand changing.

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So instead of going through the presentation, I let it get derailed.

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and I allowed us to talk about what was in the room.

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And once we did that, they could focus on the strategy, and the strategy got approved.

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But you can easily see how quickly the entire project, not just the strategy, but the whole project, could have been killed and put on the shelf because of unacknowledged emotions.

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Do you see how much of an asset emotions are in business, in your career, in your decisions, in your work.

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And that brings me to my last point.

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Emotion has business value.

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So the next time AI comes up in conversation, which it undoubtedly will, which is great, then don't forget what you need to do is just acknowledge it, name it, talk about it, bring it up in conversation.

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Talk about the value that it adds, Because that is what will change the narrative, and that is how we make emotional intelligence a best practice instead of just a buzzword.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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