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Translator: Lena Johansson Reviewer: Claire Ghyselen Today I am going to talk about an extraordinary category of humans who are both capable of taking risks - they know that it is the spice of life - but also able to bounce back when things go wrong.
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Translator: Lena Johansson Reviewer: Claire Ghyselen Today I am going to talk about an extraordinary category of humans who are both capable of taking risks - they know that it is the spice of life - but also able to bounce back when things go wrong.
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These people are emotionally intelligent.
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Emotional intelligence is a form of intelligence that allows you to reason based on emotions in order to adapt to your environment.
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It is a form of intelligence that I have been working on for 20 years now.
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It turns out that these people represent less than 1% of the population.
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And this 1% of the population are able to take risks, to bounce back.
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Like if they have signed for an all-risk psychological insurance that protects them in case of a major blow.
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How do we know that they represent less than 1% of the population?
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We carried out a major study on thousands of French men and women and measured their emotional quotient.
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It turns out that these people are endowed with extraordinary power.
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According to science, they are capable, much like the tardigrade, of being extremophilic, able to adapt to any type of extreme situations, simply because they know how to better manage their stress and fears.
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They also make more decisions than the average and decisions that are better than the average.
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And in addition to have a taste for the other, so dear to Jean-Pierre Bacri, they also have a taste for risk.
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They don’t go all-in all the time, but when they do, it's because they feel it, in order to do their best.
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I compare these individuals to foam balls.
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Their brain is a sponge that is capable of capturing, imbibing a lot of emotional information, information useful for gauging risk levels.
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Like a foam ball, when you throw it very hard against the ground, especially against hard ground, these foam balls are capable of bouncing boldly and with style.
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These individuals are not afraid of risks, simply because they know that they are sufficiently psychically armed to face the consequences, even negative ones, of their actions.
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I am going to invite you into the heads, in the minds, of individuals belonging to this 1% caste.
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Among them, there are Mickaël, Annette and Damien with whom I will finish this presentation.
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Three extraordinary characters that I had the chance to examine under a magnifying glass.
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They are able to turn the negative into the positive.
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We're going to start with Annette.
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It's Annette today - you see her with her daughter.
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She became a best-selling author who travels the world.
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In this photo, 30 years ago, she is lying on a bench with her lifelong lover, Patch.
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In this photo, she is 31 years old.
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She was among the first European female traders to work on Wall Street.
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One day, on November 14, 1992, she was invited with her lover Patch to go to an idyllic seaside resort in Nha Trang in Vietnam.
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She boards a kind of cardboard airplane called a Yak 40, one of the most dangerous in the world.
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She does it reluctantly, because she is scared of flying.
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Sometimes we do stupid things for love.
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The love of risk, or the risk of love.
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I’ll let you handle it with yourself, with your own experiences.
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But she got on that plane anyway .
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And now, no luck because this tri-engine, which was carrying around thirty people, crashed in the middle of the Vietnamese jungle.
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Annette will be the only survivor.
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She will survive eight days in this hostile jungle, with both broken legs, a punctured lung and a broken jaw before being rescued.
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And what is quite crazy is that at no point was Annette Herfkens afraid.
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At no time, despite the circumstances.
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And you know what saved her? It’s a Patronus.
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You know, the spell that allows Harry Potter to protect himself from the attacks of detractors and monsters.
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This kind of halo, this bubble of protection, that finally prevents evil from reaching good.
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And what is this protective halo made of?
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Well, lots of happy memories, positive thoughts.
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In the case of the young wizard, these are emotional memories that are stored in his memory unconsciously.
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and memories with her biological parents.
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That’s her bubble of protection.
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It's an image, of course, but just remember that for Annette, what worked was that she invested emotionally in each other before the crash, all her life.
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When she experienced this terrible event, a lot of positive thoughts came to the surface, and that was the resilience X factor.
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She felt that, while alone in the jungle, she felt paradoxically accompanied by others.
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The first psychological refuge value is not gold, it is not real estate, it is the other.
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Let’s meet Mykel Hawke.
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Captain Hawke.
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Some may know him, one of the greatest survivalists on this planet.
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Turns out he worked for 26 years in the American Special Forces.
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He has a black belt in judo, aikido and emotional intelligence.
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He has experienced everything: rescues, fights in the worst conflict zones, armed struggles with drug traffickers in Colombia, etc.
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He knows about risks, he practices a lot, and as if by a miracle, every time, he comes out of it.
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Mykel Hawke, he has a little secret.
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To share this secret, I am sharing an anecdote that he told me.
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One night, he is on a mission with a colonel, a general, and a senior special forces recruit, on a plane.
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It's not just any plane, it’s a drug lord’s private jet that they confiscated.
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They decided to go check out a base camp.
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To do this, they have to fly over enemy territory.
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Super dangerous.
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As the mountains approached, one of the aircraft’s engines failed.
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The pilot knows how to do it.
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Except that, a few seconds later, second engine failure.
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So, you have a kind of soap box that flies over enemy territory.
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And that's absolutely no joke.
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Big panic, big droplets of sweat that trickle down everyone’s temples.
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It’s dead silence in this panic room.
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And in a totally surprising way, Mykel Hawke starts having fun.
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He laughs really, really loud and he makes jokes.
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He practices self-deprecation.
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He told them : “But can you guys imagine the newspaper headlines the next day?
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’The cream of the crop of the American Special Forces crashes with a private jet from a drug lord and everyone dies in a cloud of cocaine.′ Absolute shame.” You don't want to have that etched on your headstone when you’re part of these elite forces.
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He laughs, laughter is contagious.
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Everyone is laughing, including the pilot, who all of a sudden recovers, both psychologically and physically.
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And now he has a eureka.
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He has a flash image that comes to him.
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He said : “A few kilometers ago, we flew over an area where we could land.” He turned around, he took the headwind, he surfed on up and down currents and finally landed, all safe and sound, in the area.
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Moral of the story: when a serious problem comes into your life, don’t try to deal with it seriously.
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This is called lateral thinking.
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The stakes should not kill the game.
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Self-deprecation is a weapon of emotionally intelligent individuals.
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Self-deprecation practiced in this type of situation, will activate areas in your brain involved in attention management and the production of ideas - listen to me carefully - creative and adaptive, they live up to their name to adapt to the perilous situation, you are currently experiencing.
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In addition, it will trigger an endorphin pump that will make you feel even stronger to face the situation.
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It will release psychological tension - that's very Freudian.
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You’re going to be a bit more assertive in your decision making.
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EQ++ individuals, as I call them have an emotional quotient higher than average, these people practice self-deprecation at high doses.
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I'm going to end up with Damien.
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Damien is a fairly extraordinary person who is characterized by two dates: November 13th and September 11th.
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On November 13, 2015, he found himself in the Bataclan Trench, under human bodies.
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And by some miracle, he got away with it.
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Except that...
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Except that, three years later, one evening, he returns by car, with his titine as he calls it, from a rehearsal with his rock band.
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And now, total blackout.
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The car rolls over several times.
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He wakes up, face down, eating dust, both legs paralyzed.
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In his hospital bed, Damien asks himself a question - I want to tell you the ultimate question, the one asked by most of these famous EQ++ that I was talking about, these 1% of the population.
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And I share it with you: “What am I ready to lose in life? ” And now I am also sharing with you his answer.
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I get goose bumps, just thinking about it.
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Damien said to me: “I was not ready to lose both my hands.” Why? Because the guy has the music going intravenously.
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Music is its reason for being.
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Every time he gets the blues, no pun intended, he plays the guitar.
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The guitar is his psychotherapist.
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He’s not ready to let go of that.
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He wasn’t ready to lose his mind either.
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Because when you lose your mind, as he tells me, people who have Alzheimer's or degenerative diseases in an acute stage, there is no longer a projection into the future.
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The taste of life has a changed flavor.
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He said: “The only thing I was ready to lose were my legs.
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Basta.” It was not a micro mourning, it was a macro mourning, but it was what allowed him to bounce back psychically and move forward.
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Damien, he encourages us to put things into perspective, It makes us realize that we are all lucky.
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Lucky to have this place in the universe, to be bipeds capable of socialising, loving, discovering, devouring life, writing, reading, singing, anything you want.
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We had a one in several billion chance of being who we are.
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When I talk to astrophysicists, Field medalists, famous mathematicians, they all tell me this thing: “We're a cosmic accident.” Well, let's live like miracles.
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Let's live the risk fully to become this famous 1%.
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And that’s why I invite you to become this EQ++ generation.
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Thanks for your attention.
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(Applauses)
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