تدريب Shadowing: Why Social Health Is Key to Happiness and Longevity | Kasley Killam | TED - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

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So a couple years ago, a woman I know who I'll call Maya went through a lot of big changes in a short amount of time.
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She got married, she and her husband moved for his job to a new city where she didn't know anyone, she started a new role working from home, all while managing her dad's new diagnosis of dementia.
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And to manage the stress of all this change, Maya doubled down on her physical and mental health.
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She exercised almost every day, she ate healthy foods, she went to therapy once a week.
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And these actions really helped.
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Her body got stronger, her mind got more resilient, but only up to a point.
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She was still struggling, often losing sleep in the middle of the night, feeling unfocused, unmotivated during the day.
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Maya was doing everything that doctors typically tell us to do to be physically and mentally healthy, and yet something was missing.
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What if I told you that what was missing for Maya is also missing for billions of people around the world and that it might be missing for you?
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What if I told you that not having it undermines our other efforts to be healthy and can even shorten your lifespan?
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I've been studying this for over a decade, and I've discovered that the traditional way we think about health is incomplete.
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By thinking of our health as primarily physical and mental, we overlook what I believe is the greatest challenge and the greatest opportunity of our time.
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Social health.
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While physical health is about our bodies and mental health is about our minds, social health is about our relationships.
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And if you haven't heard this term before, that's because it hasn't yet made its way into mainstream vocabulary, yet it is equally important.
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Maya didn't yet have a sense of community in her new home.
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She wasn't seeing her family or her friends or her co-workers in person anymore, and she often went weeks only spending quality time with her husband.
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Her story shows us that we can't be fully healthy.
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We can't thrive if we take care of our bodies and our minds, but not our relationships.
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Similar to Maya, hundreds of millions of people around the world go weeks at a time without talking to a single friend or family member.
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Globally, one in four people feel lonely, and 20 percent of adults worldwide don't feel like they have anyone they can reach out to for support.
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Think about that.
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One in five people you encounter may feel like they have no one.
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This is more than heartbreaking.
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It's also a public health crisis.
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Disconnection triggers stress in the body.
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It weakens people's immune systems.
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It puts them at a greater risk of stroke, heart disease, diabetes, dementia, depression, and early death.
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Social health is essential for longevity.
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So you might be wondering, what does it look like to be socially healthy?
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What does that even mean?
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Well, it's about developing close relationships with your family, your friends, your partner, yourself.
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It's about having regular interaction with your coworkers, your neighbors.
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It's about feeling like you belong to a community.
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Being socially healthy is about having the right quantity and quality of connection for you.
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And Maya's story is one example of how social health challenges come up.
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In my work, I hear many others.
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Stories like Jay, a freshman in college who's eager to get involved in campus, yet is having a hard time fitting in with people in his dorm and often feels homesick.
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Or Serena and Allie, a couple juggling the chaos of young kids with demanding jobs.
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They rarely have time to see friends or spend time one-on-one.
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Or Henry, recently retired, who cherishes time with his spouse and yet feels untethered without his team anymore and wishes he could see his kids and grandkids more often.
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These stories show that social health is relevant to each of us at every life stage.
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So if you're not sure where to start, try the 5-3-1 guideline from my book.
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It goes like this.
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Aim to interact with five different people each week to strengthen at least three close relationships overall, and to spend one hour a day connecting.
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Let's dig into these.
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So first, interact with five different people each week.
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Just like eating a variety of vegetables and other food groups is more nutritious, research has shown that interacting with a variety of people is more rewarding.
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So your five could include close loved ones, casual acquaintances, even complete strangers.
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In fact, in one study that I love, people who just smiled, made eye contact, and chit-chatted with a barista felt happier and a greater sense of belonging than people who just rushed to get their coffee and go.
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Next, strengthen at least three close relationships.
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Okay, we've all heard of a to-do list, but I would like to invite you to write a to-love list.
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Who matters most to you?
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Who can you be yourself with?
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Make sure that you invest in the names of at least three of the people that you write down by scheduling regular time together, by showing a genuine interest in their lives, and also by opening up about the experiences that you're going through.
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And I'm often asked, does it have to be in person?
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Does texting count?
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Studies have shown that face-to-face is ideal, so do that whenever possible, but there are absolutely still benefits to staying connected virtually.
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And last, spend one hour a day on meaningful connection.
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Okay, if you're an introvert, right now you're probably thinking, one hour sounds like a lot.
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I get it.
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It might be surprising, but I'm actually also an introvert.
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However, keep in mind that just like getting eight hours of sleep at night, the exact amount that's right for you personally might be higher or lower.
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But if you're thinking that one hour a day sounds like way too much because you're just way too busy, I challenge you.
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Adults in the US spend an average of four and a half hours each day on their smartphones.
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So instead of scrolling on social media, text a friend.
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Instead of reading news headlines, write a thank you card.
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Instead of listening to a podcast, call a family member.
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Maya put this into practice by scheduling recurring hangouts with a new local friend that she made,
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by attending community events and dropping cards off in her neighbors' mailboxes, by planning trips to see family and inviting friends in other cities to come visit.
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And bolstering her social health made more of a difference than focusing solely on her physical and mental health ever could.
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And I know this because Maya is actually me.
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I am so passionate about sharing tools to be socially healthy because, honestly, I need them to.
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And the 5-3-1 guideline is one way that we can be proactive and intentional about our relationships.
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And that is really the point.
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Be proactive and intentional about your social health.
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So zooming out beyond the steps that you and I take individually, together we need to shape a society that thrives through social health.
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Over the next decade, I envision educators championing social health in schools.
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And just like kids build their physical muscles in gym class, they'll exercise their social muscles in connection class.
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Over the next decade, I see our cities and neighborhoods being designed with social health in mind, where vibrant gathering places foster unity and community builders are empowered to bring them to life.
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Over the next decade, I believe that social health will become as ingrained in our collective consciousness as mental health is today.
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Because not that long ago, mental health was a taboo topic, shrouded in stigma, and now public figures talk openly about it.
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There's an entire industry to support it.
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And more and more people think of going to therapy like going to the gym.
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In this future, loneliness will subside, just like smoking subsided when we recognized and treated it as a public health issue.
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In this future, I hope that social health will become so deeply woven into the fabric of our culture that no one needs the 531 guideline anymore.
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So to get there, make relationships your priority, not only for you, but also for the people you love, because the beauty of nurturing your own social health
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is that it naturally enriches the social health of everyone you connect with.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.

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المفردات والعبارات المهمة

  • Social Health: الصحة الاجتماعية، ويشير إلى نوع العلاقات التي نبنيها مع الآخرين وأثرها على حياتنا.
  • Longevity: طول العمر، وهو العيش لفترة طويلة وصحية.
  • Resilience: القدرة على التعافي أو التكيف مع الضغوط والتحديات.
  • Community: المجتمع، وهو المجموعة من الناس التي نعيش ونتفاعل فيها.
  • Connections: الروابط، وتشير إلى العلاقات التي تربطنا بالآخرين.
  • Isolation: العزلة، الحالة التي يشعر فيها الفرد بالانفصال عن الآخرين.
  • Interaction: التفاعل، وهو الاتصال أو ممارسة النشاط مع الآخرين.

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