Shadowing Practice: Ep #450: Embrace Your Negative Parts - Learn English Speaking with Video
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You are listening to the Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 450.
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Welcome to the Life Coach School Podcast,
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where it's all about real clients,
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real problems, and real coaching.
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And now, your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
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Hello, my beautiful friends.
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How are you today?
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I am recording this after playing some crazy pickleball.
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Are you guys into pickleball?
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Tanya, my best friend and I are obsessed with pickleball right now.
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All we want to do is play pickleball.
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So we had 16 people here for Thanksgiving and they ended up staying longer,
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literally, so we could all play pickleball.
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So that's what we've been doing and it is so fun and I love it.
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And I highly encourage you all to play.
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We have here in Scottsdale at the place where I live,
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we have a country club and the country club part of it is pickleball courts and being able to do pickleball.
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So I do it weekly with my friends and Christine,
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and I highly encourage you to try it out.
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Tanya thinks she might join a pickleball league.
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So that's what I have been up to and I'm actually incredibly sore and ready to chill and relax.
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Everyone has just left.
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And so I am relaxing now in a very quiet house.
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My assistant Tori is amazing.
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She literally came and put my house back together.
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It was destruction.
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16 people in a house is a lot.
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And she came and like,
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literally it's so beautiful again.
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And so shout out to Tori.
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I love you, girl.
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All right, let's talk about embracing the negative.
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Now I talk a lot about life being 50-50 and embracing the negative in the world.
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But in this podcast, I wanted to talk about embracing the negative in you and the parts of you that aren't good.
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Let's call them.
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We are raised to believe and socialized to believe
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that we should try to be good and that we will become more worthy
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the better we get and the better well-behaved we are.
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We will become more worthy of our own selves.
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And I just want to be really clear that your worthiness is indisputable.
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You cannot increase it and you cannot decrease it.
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So any amount of effort to be good will not make you more worthy
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and anything you've done that is bad will not make you less worthy, period.
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I want to encourage you to adopt a belief system that includes being a human being,
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which means you, as well as the world, are 50-50.
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And there are many things that you have done in your life,
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many mistakes, transgressions, regrets in your life that are part of your human experience.
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They are part of being human.
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They are part of being you.
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And there is nothing wrong with you if you have done negative things
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or if you regret things that you've done in your life because they were not good.
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It simply means that you are a human being.
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Now, this doesn't let you off the hook from apologizing.
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This doesn't let you off the hook from making an effort not to do the things that you regret doing.
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I'm not saying that.
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I'm not saying you should just not care about those things.
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I'm suggesting that you don't beat yourself up with shame and think there's something wrong with you because of those things.
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Think of all the things in your past that you wish you hadn't done and take a deep breath and say,
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oh, I'm human.
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This is part of my human experience.
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I have a human brain and I'm in the world and life is 50 50.
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And I can sit here
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and beat the heck out of myself for the rest of my life for things that I've done.
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Or I can make peace with the fact that human beings make mistakes
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and human beings do things that cause problems for other people and human beings do things that hurt other people, quote unquote.
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And it's okay.
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It's okay.
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You're okay.
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I also want you to ask yourself the question,
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what is this life experience that you're going through?
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How would you explain it as a ride at Disneyland?
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Would include negative things?
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Would it include hurtful things?
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Yes.
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And it's because you're not just a human.
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You're interacting with other humans who also have very negative things,
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who are also 50-50.
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Now, here's an amazing thing to consider.
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you can embrace inside of you the negative things.
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Not just the negative things that you've done in your past,
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but the negative characteristics that you have,
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the negative thoughts that you have,
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the negative feelings that you have,
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the negative behavior patterns that you have.
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Instead of resisting and fighting and trying to hide them,
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I want to encourage you to embrace them as part of your human experience.
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The parts of you that get angry or maybe even over angry,
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The parts of you that are bitchy,
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irrational, mean, ugly, sloppy, lazy, scared, worried.
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I just saw this thing on Instagram and it said,
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I could be a lot meaner than I am and I feel like I should get credit for that.
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I'd love that.
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But maybe for you it's different words that you need to embrace.
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Maybe it's entitled and lazy and victim-y and complain-y.
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Yeah, that's a word, complain-y.
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Maybe it's manipulative or secretive or gossip-y.
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What is it in you
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that you don't like about you that's the negative part of you that you could start embracing as part of your humanness?
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We need all the parts of us that make us human to have this human experience,
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to go on this Disneyland ride.
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We have to have the opposites.
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We can't have the positive,
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amazing, beautiful, kind, lovely experiences without having the contrast that define them.
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We can't appreciate kindness in a human being if we don't appreciate meanness.
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because meanness is what helps define kindness.
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We know kindness when we see it because we've seen meanness.
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We know kindness in ourselves because we also know meanness in ourselves.
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What does it mean to truly experience all of life,
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all of the nooks and crannies of our own mind,
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of the world, of relationships,
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of other people, of ourselves,
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truly the true parts of all of us.
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If we deny and push away and pretend,
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we don't fully experience what it is like to be us.
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There are times when I am just cranky.
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There are times when I am frustrated.
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There are times when I make really big,
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frustrating mistakes in my life.
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And it doesn't mean anything's gone wrong.
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It doesn't mean that I'm bad.
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It doesn't mean I should hide or that I should be in shame.
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It simply means that I'm a human being having a human experience.
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How can we be here for all of it by taking chances,
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by trying things, by showing up,
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by failing, by exploring ourselves.
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One of the teachers of this,
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Debbie Ford, I studied years ago and she has a book all about the shadow
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and embracing your own shadow parts of yourself.
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And it really helped me change my life.
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You know, many, many years ago,
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it helped me find the acceptance to be who I really am.
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Her book is called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.
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And it's actually a very good read.
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It's an old book, but it's a very good read.
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And unfortunately, Debbie has since passed away,
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but her work definitely leaves a legacy and stands the test of time.
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And one of the things
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that I talked about a little bit in Life Coach Live from the stage was
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when we really do this shadow work on ourselves
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and we really explore the parts of us that are dark
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and that other people don't like and that we get criticized for
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and we really embrace those things and love those things about the human experience as part of the contrast,
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we find a deeper sense of love and acceptance of ourselves.
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But not only that, we have the ability to then translate that love,
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that unconditional love that we develop for ourselves into other people.
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And when we see within ourselves that there is this balance between good and bad,
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and that that's normal, then we start to understand that it's normal in other people.
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And that doesn't mean we put up with terrible behavior or let people treat us terribly at all,
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but it also means that we get it.
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We understand.
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It's humanness.
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We don't get as horrified by the small transgressions throughout our days
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because we understand that we need all of the things to provide all of the contrast.
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You've heard me say it a million times.
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If everything were good, we wouldn't know anything was good.
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If everyone was happy, if everything was happy,
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if we were happy all the time,
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we wouldn't even be able to define happiness.
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We wouldn't even know what it is to be happy
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because the only reason we know what it is to be happy is because we're unhappy too.
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The only reason we know goodness within us is because we also know badness within us.
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So for some of you,
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this may be challenging to embrace the parts of you because you want to pretend that they're not there.
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You want to work to overcome them.
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And I actually think that's a beautiful thing.
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I think trying to be the best human being you can be is amazing
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if it's for your benefit and not at your expense.
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And if you're trying to be better than you are,
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and in the process of doing that,
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you are bathing in self-loathing and bathing yourself up
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and hiding from the world because You don't want anyone to see those dark,
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icky parts of you.
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And you aren't showing up to express the possibility of who you are.
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You will miss the opportunity to know yourself.
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You will miss the opportunity to fully experience life because you will be hiding.
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And I will say I've been running into so many people lately that I've been coaching who are hiding.
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hiding behind a false facade of goodness,
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pretending that they're better than they are instead of being who they really are.
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Misery is trying to always be right,
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trying to always be good,
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and trying to always be better than we are.
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It is out of integrity when we do this.
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One of the main ways that we do this is with people pleasing.
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We pretend to other people to be better than we are.
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We pretend to be nicer than we are.
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We do things we don't want to do.
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We do things that manipulate other people into thinking that we're kinder than we are when it's completely ingenuine.
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And I want to encourage that there's a way to be honest and truthful and in our own ickiness
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and also in love.
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To be crabby and complainy and frustrated and mad and angry
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and also to love all of that about us
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and to have other people behave the same way and love
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that about our humanness and stop trying to pretend that it isn't there.
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Because the truth is sometimes our best isn't good enough.
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It just isn't.
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And sometimes we don't do our best.
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And sometimes we don't do our best on purpose.
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And sometimes we procrastinate and we're lazy and we sit around and we do hedonistic things.
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We overeat and we overdrink and we do drugs and we watch porn and we get on social media too long.
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And we can use all of that to put ourselves down and beat ourselves up,
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or we can let ourselves off the hook and just indulge in all of those indulgent emotions,
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or we can simply decide on purpose what we're going to aim for and not beat ourselves up for any reason.
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Continue to decide, continue to grow,
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to continue to show up,
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continue to put ourselves in harm's way,
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embrace the negativity in the world and embrace the negativity within our own selves.
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So the exercise that I did at Life Coach Live,
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and I want to encourage each of you to do it,
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is to write down the three things about yourself that you most are ashamed of,
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or that you don't like, or that you regret.
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And then when you're done with that,
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write down the three things in other people that you don't like.
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Those things that really, really get to you.
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When people, maybe it's when people are lazy or when people don't think or when people lie.
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And then when you have those six things written down,
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the three things that you don't like in yourself and the three things that you don't like in other people,
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I want you to look at those six things
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and I want you to embrace them in any way that you can as part of the human experience.
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Take each part and see how it benefits you in some way.
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how even maybe just the contrast experience of it makes you appreciate its opposite.
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But also how having that in your life maybe has helped you take care of yourself
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or get something done or rest or motivate you.
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How has those things that are so annoying in other people,
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how have those things served you in your life as well?
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And you may be tempted to be like,
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well, they have it and it's not good and I don't like it and I'm not going to,
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you know, pay attention to it, that sort of thing.
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But, and you can, of course,
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but I just want to recommend that you look at all of those things,
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all the negative things in other people and within yourself
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and you take a deep breath and you recognize that it's all okay.
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It's all good.
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And it all serves our human experience.
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One of the things that I have done in my journal is written down the three things about myself,
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the things I most don't like about myself.
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And for each one of them,
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I wrote how each of those things that I don't like about myself has served me in my life.
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And it was really incredibly powerful
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to see that mostly I don't like those things about myself because I have been taught that those things are bad.
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They hurt other people's feelings or offend other people or frustrate other people.
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right and i've seen how they've actually benefited me
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and helped me get the things
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that i want for myself for my friends for my kids for my life
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and one of the pieces of work that i have done
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that i think is so that was the most profound life-altering work
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that i did was the work of byron katie and it's interesting
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when i first got a hold of her work i was obsessed i read all of her books,
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listened to all of her tapes,
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practiced all of her work.
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And I did the four question work that she teaches a lot and the judge your neighbor worksheet.
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And one of the things she has you do is write down judgments of other people
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and then turn those judgments back on yourself.
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So you can understand that whatever it is, is probably a projection.
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And I'll tell you how incredibly truly freeing that was for me to do that work,
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for me to truly understand that whatever anyone says about me is probably true.
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So this is why my kids are always so mad
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because they said I can't get offended because they'll say things about me and to me and I'm like,
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yeah, that's true.
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I can see it.
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I can find it.
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I'm not like, no, I'm not.
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How dare you say that?
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That offends me or that hurts my feelings.
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I'm like, no, I can see how that's true for me in my life,
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in myself, in my character.
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And as soon as you embrace it,
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you get authority over it.
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And when I'm really frustrated at someone else,
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I can say to myself,
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huh, how do I have that in me?
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How do I make peace with that thing that is in this other person,
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but is also in me and in the world and in the human experience?
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And she would say, when you fight with reality,
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you lose, but only 100% of the time.
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And so when we look at reality and we look at what exists and we look at,
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oh, these things are supposed to exist.
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Shame and frustration, meanness and ugliness and, you know, fury.
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They're all supposed to exist within us.
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We don't need to argue with them.
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They're all part of this experience.
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We can breathe a little easier.
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We don't have to condemn ourselves.
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We don't have to beat ourselves up.
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We don't have to hide.
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Everything within you and everything within me is okay.
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Have a beautiful week, everyone.
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Talk to you soon.
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Bye.
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Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast,
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you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars.
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It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it.
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We take it to the next level and we study it.
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Join me over at thelifecoachschool.com forward slash join.
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Make sure you type in the the lifecoachschool.com forward slash join.
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I'd love to have you join me in self-coaching scholars.
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See you there.
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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Este vídeo tiene 296 frases y 2953 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 19:06. El hablante habla a un ritmo natural de unas 155 palabras por minuto, cercano a una conversación cotidiana. El 87 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
15 palabras del vídeo que vale la pena aprender, con su pronunciación y significado:
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| embrace verbo | /ɛmˈbɹes/ | abrazar, embrazar |
| encourage verbo | /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/ | alentar, arengar |
| pretend verbo | /pɹəˈtɛnd/ | aparentar, hacer de |
| contrast sustantivo | /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/ | contraste |
| regret verbo | /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/ | lamentar, arrepentirse [de] |
| worthy adjetivo | /ˈwɝ.ði/ | digno |
| lazy adjetivo | /ˈleɪ̯zi(ː)/ | perezoso, flojo |
| podcast sustantivo | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast, pódcast |
| kindness sustantivo | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | amabilidad, bondad |
| shadow sustantivo | /ˈʃædəʊ̯/ | sombra |
| incredibly adverbio | /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/ | increíblemente |
| hook sustantivo | /hʊk/ | gancho, garfio |
| define verbo | /dɪˈfaɪn/ | determinar, definir |
| breathe verbo | /bɹiːð/ | respirar |
| offend verbo | /əˈfɛnd/ | ofender |
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
| Palabra | Significado |
|---|---|
| write down verbo | apuntar, anotar |
| show up verbo | comparecer, personarse |
| check out verbo | investigar, chequear |
| end up verbo | terminar, ir a parar |
| go through verbo | atravesar |
| pass away verbo | fallecer, dejarnos |
| push away verbo | dar un volón, dar un empujón |
| put up with verbo | aguantar, soportar |
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 84 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, I'm, doesn't. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, breathe /bɹiːð/, bath /bɑːθ/, loathe /ˈloʊð/, truthful /ˈtɹuːθ.f(ə)l/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, shadow /ˈʃædəʊ̯/, destruction /dɪsˈtɹʌkʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, integrity /ɪnˈtɛɡɹəti/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, characteristic /ˌkæɹ(ə)ktəˈɹɪstɪk/, manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como embrace, encourage, pretend.
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — una acción que empezó antes y continúa | we've been doing · I've been running |
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | have been · has just left · you've done |
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | are raised · is called · may be tempted |
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.