シャドーイング練習: Watch This If You Can't Move On After a Breakup - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ
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Now, in the last week, I've had calls from three different people who were all broken up with.
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And each and every single one of them is completely heartbroken.
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Every single one of them has said to me, they didn't see this coming.
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Every single one of them has said to me, they think it's their fault.
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And every single one of them is saying to me, they wish it would work out.
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They wish it could be good again.
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They wish they could be with this person again.
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And it's so heartbreaking to see how when someone breaks up with us,
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we immediately blame ourselves, we ignore red flags, we lose our self -awareness,
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because we're not only taking responsibility for the failure of the relationship, we're also taking all the accountability.
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So what I wanted to create for you in this video was a no BS,
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direct, clear talking approach to what to do if you're going through a breakup.
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One of the things people don't realize about a breakup is that you're actually going through grief.
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You're going through grief of what you thought you'd have with this person.
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You're going through the grief of who you thought this person was.
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You're going through the grief of who you were with this person.
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There is a lot of grief wrapped up into a breakup.
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And here's the first step.
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We need to learn to grieve without the fairy tale filter.
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A lot of us, we grieve with the fairy tale filter.
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We grieve what they promised us.
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We grieve what we wished we'd have with them.
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We grieve the potential, the dream state we created in our minds with this person.
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And therefore, the first step is stop idealizing what it wasn't.
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Your brain is wired to romanticize the past, especially after rejection.
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It's called rosy retrospection, Gilbert and Wilson 2000.
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Rosy retrospection is this nostalgia that we all have.
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Oh, the good old days.
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Oh, that beautiful first date.
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Oh, that one anniversary.
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Oh, that one birthday.
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Your mind creates this rosy retrospection about these simple moments that maybe you haven't thought about,
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but all of a sudden come flooding back.
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But here's the truth.
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You're not missing them, you're missing the version of them you hoped existed.
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You're not missing them, you're missing the future they promised you.
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You're not missing them, you're missing who you thought they could become.
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You're not missing them, you're missing how you felt when you believed it was real.
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You're not missing them, you're missing the illusion that they were right for you.
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And this is so painful to acknowledge, which is why we push it off.
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It's why we avoid it.
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We never want to accept that we have been sold a promise world.
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The majority of people that I've spoken to
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that were broken up with were more in love with the promise the person gave them than the reality they experienced.
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They were more in love with the dream that they wished for than the reality they experienced.
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They were more inspired by the potential of that person than the reality of that person.
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We all focus on the promise, the dream, and the potential more than the reality, the clarity, and the truth.
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We have to come back down to earth.
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The quicker you can be honest with yourself, the quicker you can heal.
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Here's what I want you to do.
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Write down what actually happened, what they actually did, and what they didn't do as well.
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See it clearly, no edits, no fantasy, just facts.
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Clarity is closure you give yourself.
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And you can only do that with facts, not fantasy.
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Most people, when I ask them, how was the relationship?
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They'll say, you know, we were going to move in together.
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You know, we were going to get a dog together.
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You know what?
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We were going to, we were going to, you know, get married.
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Like that's what we, and I was like, yes, but what was the relationship like?
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Notice the difference, right?
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That's not the relationship.
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That's what you hoped was going to happen in the future.
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What was the relationship like, oh, well, we pretty much argued every couple of weeks.
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I always felt distant.
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You know, over the last few months, I kind of just felt like we weren't connecting.
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Oh, so that's what the relationship was like.
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So you don't miss that because that sounds uncomfortable.
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The three most important things.
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romantic relationship are this.
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To feel safe, to feel seen, and to feel supported.
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If you don't feel safe, you don't have a foundation.
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When you enter a new relationship, ask yourself, does this person make me feel safe?
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Do I feel that they're reliable?
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Do I feel like they make me feel safe, secure?
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The second is, do they make me feel seen?
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Are they present?
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Are they listening?
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Are they curious about me?
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Do I feel seen when I'm with them for who I am?
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Or do I feel forced to project another version of myself?
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And the third is, do I feel supported?
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Do I feel supported in my goals?
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Do I feel supported in my search?
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And am I willing to do all three for them?
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When I speak to people going through a breakup and I ask them what their relationship was really like,
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more often than not, most people feel two out of the three were not happening.
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Look at the facts, not the fiction.
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Focus on the facts, not the fantasy.
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Step number two is interrupt the obsession loop.
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When you speak to someone who's gone through a breakup, they need to talk about the same thing multiple times.
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That's normal, by the way.
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That's how our mind processes.
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Sometimes we need to say the same thing in the same way, and someone else is thinking, what is going on here?
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But our brain is almost washing it, right?
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Think about it like a washing machine.
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A piece of clothing doesn't just go in the washing machine once and come out clean.
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The washing machine has to roll again and again and again
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and tumble again and again and again to get the dirt out.
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So if you're repeating your thoughts again and again and again out loud, I promise you, you haven't gone crazy.
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I promise you, you haven't gone mad.
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It is the cleansing, detoxing process.
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But at some point, we have to interrupt the obsession loop.
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How do you know to do that, it's not a timing.
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You can't say that's going to happen in one month.
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You can't say I'm going to do it after one week.
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You're going to know if you're present with the repetitive thoughts.
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At one point, you're going to say, I need to move on.
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If you practice number one, you'll know when to do number two.
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Remember, you're not weak for not moving on.
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You're chemically hooked.
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Breakups trigger the same brain regions as drug withdrawal.
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Every time you stalk their feed, replay a memory, or wonder what you did wrong, you strengthen the loop.
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Stop looking at your ex's social media.
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They're not your future.
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Stop checking who they're with.
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It won't help you heal.
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Stop watching their stories like they'll suddenly make sense.
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Stop searching for signs they miss you they don't post about their grief.
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Stop waiting for closure from someone who walked away without it.
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And stop decoding their captions even if you think they're written for you.
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Stop giving your peace to someone who already chose to lose it.
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And stop stalking their life like they're still in yours.
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Break the cycle.
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Block.
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Mute.
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Delete.
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Remove triggers, playlists, photos, even scents.
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All of the scents, their clothing, the photos, the places you hung out have to be off bounds
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because what happens is we have a chemical connection to all of those things.
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There's a mental emotional memory in all of those places, which keeps us stuck in the obsession loop.
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We have to learn to change our chemical connection.
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So what we're going to do is we're going to replace that rumination with a new routine.
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Moving your body, engaging your mind in new ways changes the chemicals.
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Don't wait to feel better.
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Break the loop to get better.
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Step number three is kill the narrative that it was all your fault.
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When there's no closure, the brain creates one and it usually turns against you.
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It's called negativity bias your mind will fill in the blanks with worst case self -blame.
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The biggest mistake you'll make after a breakup is you'll blame everything on yourself.
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You keep replaying the moments you wish you said something different.
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You keep thinking about all the things you got wrong.
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and they got right.
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That is a mistake because you're not giving yourself grace
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and you're taking accountability and responsibility for something that existed between two people, but you're making it all about you.
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Don't make something you shared all about you.
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Unless you're willing to also look at their challenges, their flaws, and their mistakes, don't get lost amplifying yours.
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Because here's the truth.
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Relationships don't end because of one thing.
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They end because of many things.
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Mismatched timing, misaligned values, misaligned character.
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This is how to process a breakup.
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Write this down and say it until it sticks.
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I can take responsibility without taking all the blame.
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Because here's what I realized.
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When I really start to talk to people and coach people, they start to share all the red flags.
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They start to notice all the mistakes of the other person.
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They start to notice how their intuition knew.
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People always ask me, how do I learn to trust other people?
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The truth is, learn to trust yourself.
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You'll never know whether you can trust someone or not.
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But if you trust yourself, you'll know when to stay and when to leave because you'll know what behavior you'll allow and what behavior you won't.
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The challenge is, and you know this, you ignored the red flags because you didn't want to start over.
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Stop ignoring red flags.
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You ignored the red flags because being chosen felt better than being alone.
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You ignored the red flags because they said all the right things, just never did them.
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You ignored the red flags because your timeline liked the photos.
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You ignored the red flags because they had potential, and you fell in love with that.
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You ignored the red flags because they apologized just enough.
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You ignored the red flags because you were afraid this might be your only shot.
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You ignored the red flags because you thought love was supposed to hurt.
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All of us ignore red flags because we're trying to trust the other person,
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not realizing we should focus on trusting ourself.
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Step number four, close the loop with your own ritual.
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Waiting for them to give you peace is giving away your power.
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Waiting for them to give you closure is leaving you unclear.
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Waiting for them to fix you is leaving you broken.
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Waiting for them to help you is leaving you unhealed.
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Create a closure ritual, something symbolic that tells your nervous system, this chapter ends here.
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And you can try write them a letter.
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Don't send it and burn it.
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You can bury a photo, delete the last message thread, then go for a walk with no phone.
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Closure isn't given, it's created.
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They won't give you closure.
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You have to give that to yourself.
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They won't own the mess they made.
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You just have to stop standing in it they won't meet you where you are.
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You just have to keep walking.
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A ritual could be a new commitment to yourself.
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A ritual could be a new commitment to a friend.
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A ritual is something that is changing your chemistry, changing your emotional space by adding something new to your life.
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What's happening is you're missing an old emotion and your body
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and mind are dragging you to want that person back in your life.
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We often think we need a new person to replace an old person.
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But what we actually need is a new emotion, a new experience, a new connection to replace the old experience.
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A new set of chemicals, a new set of movement.
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Step number five, understand that pain doesn't mean you're meant to be.
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Just because you feel pain from a breakup doesn't mean you're meant to be.
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Just because you think you missed that person doesn't mean you're meant to be.
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Just because you think that they'll come back around doesn't mean they will.
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And while you're waiting, you don't grow.
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You don't become more attractive.
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You don't become the person you want to be.
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You hurting doesn't mean they were your soulmate.
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It means you felt deeply.
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It means you have the capacity for love.
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It means you have the ability to give and you're human.
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Pain isn't proof it was right.
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It's proof that you cared.
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Studies show emotional pain activates the same brain regions as physical injury.
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Think about this.
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I read one study that said that when you feel left out of the group chat, it feels like you broke your leg.
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So if you're feeling that, that's natural but here's what you need to remember.
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Just because it hurts doesn't mean it was right.
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Remember what I said earlier.
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Love isn't about what feels the most exciting.
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It's about the person that makes you feel safe, seen, and supported.
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Someone breaking your heart open, ripping it out of your chest is not safe, seen, or supported.
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Step number six, redirect the energy ruthlessly.
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Heartbreak gives you access to a fire most people never touch.
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Use it, channel it, move with it, redesign your space, take a course, start lifting weights, get a new passion,
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write like your life depends on it.
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Psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson calls this productive aggression.
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Instead of turning it inward, transmute it.
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Breakdowns make incredible fuel when you don't waste them on breaking down.
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You use the breakdown for a breakthrough.
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And finally, step number seven, stop waiting to feel ready.
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You're not just getting over them, you're rebuilding you.
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After a breakup, your brain experiences an identity gap.
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You don't lose the person, you lose who you were with them.
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So here's your job.
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Pick one thing that's yours, one thing they didn't influence,
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one version of you you want to grow into, and start acting from that place now.
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Not next month, not when you're healed, now.
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If you're going through a breakup, remember this.
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You're not trying to get back to who you were before
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them you're becoming someone who they never got to meet you didn't get closure
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so give yourself something better a new start take everything you
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learned you don't need a blank slate you actually want a slate filled with wisdom not
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because they moved on but because you decided
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so will you if this clip brought you value
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and you'd like to watch something else this next video has been chosen especially for you based on your viewing behaviors.
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I hope you enjoy it.
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And if you do, please subscribe to the channel so we can keep bringing you fantastic conversations.
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このレッスンの語彙とスピーキングのポイント
このB2レベルのスピーキングレッスンは、動画「Watch This If You Can't Move On After a Breakup」を教材にしています。 繰り返し出てくる語は次のとおりです：flags, breakup, missing, relationship。 この動画には、シャドーイング用の文が244文、単語が2567語あります。 音声の長さは18:26です。 話す速さは1分あたり約139語で安定しており、シャドーイングしやすいペースです。 単語の87%は英語の頻出3,000語に含まれるため、語彙は分かりやすいです。
この動画の重要語彙
動画の中で特に難しい単語15語を、発音と意味つきで紹介します。
| 単語 | 発音 | 意味 |
|---|---|---|
| grief 名詞 | /ɡɹiːf/ | 悲しみ, 悲哀 |
| ritual 名詞 | /ˈɹɪt͡ʃ.u.əl/ | 儀式, 祭祀 |
| retrospection 名詞 | 懐古 | |
| rosy 形容詞 | /ˈɹoʊzi/ | 薔薇色の |
| obsession 名詞 | /əbˈsɛʃən/ | 妄想 |
| heal 動詞 | /ˈhiːl/ | 治す, 癒す |
| stalk 名詞 | /stɔk/ | 茎 |
| interrupt 動詞 | /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/ | 中断する, 邪魔する |
| scent 名詞 | /sɛnt/ | 香り, 匂い |
| replay 名詞 | /ˈɹiːpleɪ/ | リプレイ |
| clarity 名詞 | /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/ | 明快さ |
| breakdown 名詞 | /ˈbɹeɪkˌdaʊn/ | 故障 |
| emotion 名詞 | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | 感情, 心緒 |
| cleanse 動詞 | /klɛnz/ | 浄化する, 清める |
| decode 動詞 | /dɪˈkəʊd/ | 解読する |
動画に出てくる句動詞
| 単語 | 発音 | 意味 |
|---|---|---|
| come back 動詞 | 戻る, 帰る | |
| come out 動詞 | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | 出る |
| write down 動詞 | 書き留める, 記す |
繰り返し練習したい文
動画に出てくる短く完結した文です。日常会話でそのまま使えます。
- Do I feel that they're reliable?
- The second is, do they make me feel seen?
- Are they curious about me?
- Do I feel seen when I'm with them for who I am?
- Do I feel supported in my goals?
この動画の文法
話し手がよく使っている文型を、動画の実際の表現とともに紹介します。
| 文型 | 動画での表現 |
|---|---|
| 条件文 if + 節, will/would + 動詞 — 条件とその結果 | If you practice number one, you'll know · if you trust yourself, you'll know |
| 現在完了形 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去の出来事が今も関係している | I've had · has said · haven't thought |
| 受動態 be + 過去分詞 — 誰がするかより、何が起きるかに焦点を当てる | is wired · have been sold · were broken |
| 関係詞節 who / which + 節 — 人や物について情報を加える | people who were · acknowledge, which is · someone who walked |
注意したい発音
話し手はyou're, don't, doesn'tなど、短縮形や弱形を108回使っています。聞こえたとおりの短い形で発音しましょう。
- 「th」の音: ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, withdrawal /wɪðˈdɹɔ(ə)l/
- 「sh」と「zh」の音: closure /ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, rumination /ˌɹuːmɪˈneɪʃən/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/
- 長い単語（アクセントの位置に注意）: accountability /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/, negativity /ˌnɛɡ.əˈtɪ.vɪ.ti/, romanticize /roʊˈmæntɪsaɪz/, rumination /ˌɹuːmɪˈneɪʃən/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/
日本語話者が苦手な音：
- /r/ と /l/ の区別 — /l/ は舌先を歯茎につけ、/r/ はどこにもつけない: ritual /ˈɹɪt͡ʃ.u.əl/, replay /ˈɹiːpleɪ/, clarity /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/, ourself /(ˌ)aʊə(ɹ)ˈsɛlf/, ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/
- /v/ — /b/ にならないように、上の歯を下唇に当てる: grieve /ɡɹiːv/, negativity /ˌnɛɡ.əˈtɪ.vɪ.ti/, repetitive /ɹɪˈpɛtɪtɪv/, activate /ˈæktɪˌveɪt/
- /f/ — 「フ」ではなく、上の歯と下唇で出す: grief /ɡɹiːf/, amplify /ˈæm.plə.faɪ/, ourself /(ˌ)aʊə(ɹ)ˈsɛlf/, flaw /flɔ/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/
この動画での練習方法
- まず声を出さずに動画を最後まで聞き、知らない単語をメモします。
- 通常の速度で一文ずつシャドーイングし、話し手のリズムに合うまで繰り返します。
- 自分の声を録音して元の音声と比べます。grief, ritual, retrospectionなどの単語に特に注意しましょう。
シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由
シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。