쉐도잉 연습: 4 things all great listeners know - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

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It's easy to tell when someone's not paying attention, but it can be surprisingly tricky to know what truly excellent listening looks like.
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It's easy to tell when someone's not paying attention, but it can be surprisingly tricky to know what truly excellent listening looks like.
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Behavioral scientists have found that good listening is one of the most important things we can do to improve our relationships, develop our worldview, and potentially even change people's minds.
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So, what can we do to become better listeners?
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At its core, listening in a one-on-one conversation is about taking an interest in another person and making them feel understood.
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There’s no universally agreed upon definition of high-quality listening, but some recurring features include attentiveness, conveying understanding, and showing a positive intention towards the speaker.
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This doesn’t mean you can simply go through the motions— researchers have found that merely smiling and nodding at set intervals doesn’t quite work.
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However, there is something slightly performative about listening in that it’s important to show you’re doing it.
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So, in addition to actively attending to a speaker’s words, good listeners also use questions and body language that indicate their understanding and their desire to understand.
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This might feel awkward at first, and what’s most effective might depend on your relationship with the speaker.
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But with time and practice you can internalize these basic behaviors.
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So let’s say a good friend wants to tell you about an issue they’re having with their partner.
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Before even starting your conversation, remove any distractions in the environment.
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Turn off the TV, take off your headphones and put your phone away— far away.
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One study showed that even the visible presence of a phone made conversations feel less intimate and fulfilling to those involved.
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Once the conversation begins, one of the most important things you can do is also the most obvious— try not to interrupt.
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This doesn’t mean you need to stay completely silent.
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But if you do interject, look for natural pauses to ask open-ended questions that benefit the speaker, not just your curiosity.
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Questions like “What happened next?” or “How did that make you feel?” confirm that you’re following the story while also helping the speaker dive deeper into their own thoughts.
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Another great way to show your understanding is by summarizing what you just heard and asking if you’ve missed anything.
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Summaries like this show the speaker that you're truly trying to understand them rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.
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Speaking of which, while a good conversation requires back and forth, planning out your response while the speaker is talking is a common way to miss what’s being said.
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So try to stay present and if you lose focus, don't be shy about asking the speaker to repeat what you missed.
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This might feel embarrassing, but asking for clarification actually shows that you’re committed to understanding.
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Finally, don’t be afraid of silence.
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It’s okay to ask for a moment to formulate your response and taking a beat to think can help speakers reflect on their speech as well.
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These might seem like small changes, but together they make a big difference.
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And when people feel heard, they report more satisfaction, trust, and connection in their relationships.
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In the workplace, employees who feel heard generally experience less burnout, and perceive the managers who listened to them more favorably.
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Unfortunately, while it might be easy to listen to some people, it can be hard to muster all this focus and attention if you disagree with or dislike the speaker.
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But these situations might actually benefit most from your efforts to listen openly.
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The theory of psychological reactance suggests that trying to force someone to change their mind makes them more likely to defend their point of view.
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However, recent studies suggest that high-quality listening fosters open-mindedness by creating a non-judgmental and psychologically safe environment.
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Of course, truly open-minded listening isn’t about changing people’s minds.
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Good listening is not the same as agreeing, and conversations don’t have to end with a happy resolution.
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But even during a disagreement, sometimes being heard is enough to start a deeper conversation.
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주요 어휘 및 구문

  • 경청 (Listening)
  • 상대방의 이해를 전달하다 (Conveying understanding)
  • 질문하기 (Asking questions)
  • 요약하다 (Summarizing)
  • 적극적인 경청 (Active listening)
  • 비언어적 소통 (Non-verbal communication)
  • 존중을 나타내다 (Showing respect)
  • 심리적 안전 (Psychological safety)

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