쉐도잉 연습: Almost lost my mind - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

What's good, my boy?

Been a minute since I've made a video of any kind, and I didn't want to leave the few people that do enjoy my channel in the dark,

so I figured I'd come on here and just be fully transparent about where I've been.

Your boy almost became Sid Barrett.

I went full Van Gogh there for a second.

I deleted over 100 videos, burnt half my paintings, burnt half my library of books,

and all to say preachers were preaching, demons were fishing, and your boy was under the sea just wanting to be.

A little poetry for your ass.

Yeah, I went to a mental hospital.

I almost lost my mind there for a second

and it was really chaotic and it was based all around this research that I was doing, really primarily centered around Gnostic texts,

trying to prove the trinity to myself seeing the trinity

and everything exploring a little bit of occult

and nothing really defines it truer than

that clip there's a clip online of christopher uh lee the guy who played dracula

and count dooku there's a video where he's asked about his library of the occult right

and he's like i do heed warning to those you might you not only lose your mind

but you lose your soul

that type of thing your boy didn't lose his soul I still have my faith in Christ

but I did almost convince myself

that I was a messiah there for a second family had to intervene

and I ended up going to basically a mental hospital

and uh yeah it was as if I opened up from all of this research

and all of this stuff I opened my mind up like a wound and I got super paranoid,

super scared, it was, it was honestly insane, and there's tons of events, my mind is still cloudy, as it is right now,

I'll be fully honest, I ain't afraid to say it, they hooked your boy up with some SSRIs, and if you know me,

you watch my channel, I used to make my videos in red light, because I'm, that's how hippie holistic I was,

and And I'm on a tapering off protocol of these now, so it won't be a permanent thing.

But it did, it has helped me.

I mean, I went off the deep end.

I went to a car dealership with my grandpa.

I saw through the veil, if you will, of scammers.

And I blew up, I put a paper bag on my head.

Thought I had to pick a lock with chuelers, screwdrivers.

And just made an all around fool out of myself.

It was quite the adventure, if you will.

I fell down the rabbit hole, was in Wonderland for a little bit, but I remembered I had red shoes on, tapped my feet three times, and I came back out on the other side.

My family, I couldn't be grateful for anything more than that.

My family is my rock.

I have an extremely, extremely supportive group of people around me

that it's even hard to put into words how appreciative I am for them.

If it wasn't for them, your boy really might be Sid Barrett.

And this was the craziest thing.

So it all started from lots of Gnostic text.

Lots of Kundalini wisdom and sacred secretion, new age stuff that I was trying to disprove as being stupid.

And I was trying to prove orthodoxy to myself.

I started seeing the Trinity and everything.

I got on this gemantria.

And the way gemantria works is it's like a Kabbalistic thing in Jewish mysticism.

where you attribute a number.

And I started getting into numerology and astrology, not the phony side where they ask for your credit card to give you a reading,

but mainly the deeper rabbit holes surrounding it.

And there's this thing online called the GE Matrix Calculator

where it has four versions of a word and numbers, okay? it has the words,

which is like, it can be either a sentence or a word.

Then from that, you have the English version, which is the letters from 1 to 26.

Then you have, or no, you have a Jewish version, which this is where my research went crazy.

I saw lots of numbers being changed and numerical values being changed that are not just 1 to 26.

So it has its own little thing.

Then it's the English version, which you could consider like Catholicism, whatever, just English language 1 to 26, A to Z.

And then you have the third one, which is a simple.

And you have a simple.

So you have basically four variables here.

And then there's a fifth variable, which is how many times it had been searched.

And I convinced myself with this calculator that, holy cow, this is, this is, you have the word, which is like,

all of my bottlenecking of my mind came from the Bible.

So in John, it says the word was with God and the word was God.

So I'm like, there's the word.

and then you have 6,000 years ago or whatever, you have 6,000 or 4,000, I don't even know, the numbers are so jangled up,

but you have Jewish, the Jewish faith being revealed.

I convinced myself, and this might be true, this isn't where I really lost my mind, but I thought like, okay,

God chose to reveal all of these specific religions to us at a specific point in time for a reason

and it was based on the zeitgeist of the times how

people digested the information i was talking about the zeitgeist of

the sword where people had swords versus guns being an incredibly tumultuous time

so and so forth just lots of things all at once

and like i said i bottlenecked my mind with all of this knowledge

and i still have my memory it was crazy I mean, not only did I go to the dealership,

I got exercised by a couple close family friends, if you will.

One guy was speaking Hebrew over me, the other one was raining Jesus on me, and I was telling him that I might be the Messiah.

It was really crazy.

I go to this hospital, they do EKG, blood work, all this stuff, and they realize, well, this kid really ain't on nothing.

He's just high on life.

No, I just, I stayed up for three days.

That was the real bottleneck.

You got to have your sleep.

You can't be on this grind set, hustle culture thing.

You got to, sleep's the most important thing.

And I literally lost my sober mind with, because I didn't get sleep.

And I was cramming in all this information.

And it literally turned your boy crazy there for a second.

so after I got exercised I was just kind of laughing

like what are y'all doing this weird code code code religious

religion I was just spewing this trinity out three triads three faiths revealed just all of this stuff

and then I go to the hospital they do all those tests

and people were coming up to me with hives on their face with a mask on asking me why

I put cedar trees in their yard, why they had allergies.

That hospital, again, was very out there.

I mean, I guess they had their own beliefs or who knows.

100

It was very weird, but it was, it happened.

101

My grandpa was there with me whenever it happened, and he verified that all that weirdness happened, and that just added to my, what the professionals deem as a psychosis.

102

So that added to it, that turned into me coming back home more on my little GE matrix calculator.

103

It has the simple, I'd convinced myself, this is the easiest way to put it, that you have the word, then you have the Jewish version,

104

which is really mystical, magic involved, lots of things like that.

105

Then you have the English, which is like the Catholic Christian view of things.

106

And then you have the simple.

107

And I convinced myself that the Muslims has to be the simple

108

because they get so caught up on verbiage and errors in text and just kind of silliness.

109

And then the searchers.

110

So you have five variables there.

111

And I convinced myself that the God number was five or five.

112

And it was just, a lot of it was interesting.

113

It was really interesting.

114

But it was, and I don't even remember half of it.

115

I burned my damn notebook on top of it.

116

I mean, I really went out there, boys.

117

It was something.

118

The only case that reminds me of this is this YouTuber that I used to watch named Brandon Buckingham.

119

he got real big on YouTube at this time at a time

120

and all of a sudden he lost his mind halfway through it with a bunch of drama

121

and a bunch of different things and I basically had

122

that I mean I even went to the asylum and

123

that was a whole adventure I go in this place my

124

pawpaw who's my pawpaw my mama her are some of my biggest supporters I have such a strong family unit that

125

it's the main thing I'm grateful for.

126

I mean, I have so many amazing people in my family.

127

It's unreal.

128

But I go to this place.

129

I'm convinced that I have to make these crazy sacrifices by going in there and still paranoid.

130

There's I'm seeing so much symbolism.

131

This is what threw me for a loop.

132

I started seeing so much extra symbolism and music and movies and books that I go in there,

133

this is how crazy I was.

134

I go in there and I see a sticker from the security guards up front called the Paladins.

135

I start talking about Johnny Westerns have gun will travel.

136

I start explaining about World of Warcraft, how they want to encase Arthas in stone.

137

They want to freeze them in ice.

138

They have to have a Lich King.

139

I'm the Lich King.

140

Just crazy stuff.

141

Literally insane stuff here, okay? So that happens.

142

I go in this place.

143

they helped me to a degree they were testing me

144

so much that it was messing with my head

145

and i just wanted out of there uh i finally got some sleep

146

which was good but they would do weird stuff like white noise

147

while you're while you're trying to sleep big security guards at night with masks on

148

and stuff like that just weird stuff

149

and uh halfway in there i convinced myself

150

that i might be a werewolf it just I mean I'm

151

telling you boys it was I was out there for a second

152

and then finally the last day I was in there again I'm the only patient in here I was me

153

and this kid Peter were the only two people in there

154

and he left after some time

155

and they told him it was really weird this place

156

but I'm in there coloring mandalas doing spider-man puzzles and whatnot and on the very last day,

157

they're like, okay, there's going to be three women with you tonight, watching in garden, or whatever they do,

158

the counselors, and it's just me and this whole facility, at least where I see, and I'm like, all right,

159

I go to bed, and I wake up at six in the morning, they confused me with names, so there was like two, two ladies had the same name, and I was supposed to meet with one of them in that morning,

160

and they, they're acting like they don't know who I'm talking about, and there's this kid named Jamar.

161

I walk into this place.

162

I wasn't freaking out, but I was like, well, y'all told me I was supposed to meet with this person, blah, blah, blah.

163

I'm not freaking out, but I'm kind of anxious, right?

164

This kid just cold cocks, punches me in the mouth, like as hard as he can, like a right hook.

165

And I'm just looking at him like this, and the Charles Bronson in me wants to like act like I was

166

so tough but no I walked back I backed up from him

167

and I kept feeling like this place was testing me like the only way I could stay here is

168

if I did something wrong right or if I

169

if I fought back or I freaked out so I walked back

170

and I just let it be and they took him off somewhere

171

and that day they kept asking me if I want to press charges on him,

172

and I didn't, and this is part of the beauty of Christianity,

173

is truly understanding forgiveness, so in my heart,

174

I saw that how, I saw how my little mini freak out of confusion of people's names went into,

175

or could have affected him, so they kept, they asked me like three times, a sheriff even came in at one point, and was like are you sure son you don't want to press charges

176

and I was just like no I mean I saw in

177

his heart goodness I mean he was just it was like he did

178

that out of fear and like I know I believe in judgment

179

and all that

180

but they were just kind of acting weird towards me after

181

I didn't press charges there kept telling me I'm too nice they kept saying like I wouldn't do

182

that you need punishment for your actions, but I just went off a three,

183

a week-long research bender to the point where I convinced myself I was the Messiah, and I want nothing close,

184

I didn't want anything close to having to judge anybody for anything, I just wanted to get better, so that was that whole fiasco in a basket,

185

and I got out of there, I spent about a week over there near Austin, hanging out, just resting my mind trying to get better

186

and I feel back to myself for the most part I

187

still have this this is the weirdest thing is I have this sensitivity towards things whether it be movies or books

188

or art in general I just feel really sensitive towards it

189

all still like my mind is still kind of fresh

190

or like the wound is still kind of fresh

191

so I don't know if I'll be back I'm not going to be back on my daily videos, I don't believe. Who knows?

192

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

193

But I just wanted to get on here and just rant and give like a little brief synopsis on what all happened.

194

I convinced myself that my 12 friends that I grew up with were like my 12 disciples.

195

Just out there stuff.

196

This is the most ironic thing of all.

197

all of my research was based around how this new age spirituality,

198

that whole trend, it was based around how that's half of the pie, how these people, you see hippies that, I don't know, I fit the bill,

199

you see hippies that stop short with drugs, whether it be acid or whatever,

200

and they get into this new age stuff that they're God of non-duality and all of this.

201

And I thought it was so silly because I saw the Trinity.

202

I saw grand liturgies and the architecture of these buildings that people created with the domes underneath just all of it.

203

There's so much stuff to delve into in the future.

204

But I saw all these great things that made Christianity so beautiful.

205

I felt the Holy Spirit.

206

I fully understood the Father, the Son.

207

I understood how the Son is two parts, and it just spiraled from there.

208

I got into platonic solids.

209

I got into dimensions.

210

I was talking about religion as dimensions, how you have the first dimension,

211

which is like antiquity of people believing in ancestry and passing on their memory.

212

and then you get into Judaism which is monotheistic direct relation to God then you have Christianity which is more like

213

it's kind of like the duality of the sun

214

and then you have after that Islam

215

which is more the simple version of just very complicated I really threw myself for a loop there

216

and I guess if anything I can say is a lesson in this video

217

just be careful about your passion because it can become a double-edged sword.

218

You...

219

That's the best way to put it.

220

Your passion can be a double-edged sword.

221

On one hand, you feel like you're chopping through the weeds of really getting to truth and really understanding things.

222

And don't get me wrong.

223

Your boy has not become a pacifist.

224

Your boy has not become a hippie.

225

I still hold a lot of my views.

226

I still remember a lot of the things that I was going at with the podcast.

227

I just realized how that double-edged sword, as you chop those weeds back, you can rubber band off something and hit yourself in the face with the sword, if you will, metaphorically speaking.

228

You can absolutely forget about your resources, forget about your family, forget about what's truly been given to you as a blessing.

229

And you're trading all of that for what exactly? For knowledge?

230

Well, I would choose my family over knowledge every single day.

231

So from here on out, I guess with this channel, I really want to seek wisdom over knowledge, if you will.

232

And I know that's kind of an oxymoron to say, but wisdom is things that have always been.

233

Knowledge is you trying to come over, like there's a reason why ancient texts are so read and so revered.

234

And timelessly, forever, expanded upon,

235

you know, I mean, these books have been around for thousands of years and there's a reason.

236

And my distinction between knowledge and that is knowledge is the Protestants,

237

how they have 50,000 different denominations getting into these texts and creating this whole new thing based off of these things.

238

Look, there's things in these churches

239

that have been there for thousands of years they don't use any deviation from the original text for a reason,

240

because you go so deep down these rabbit holes of meaning and all of this, you drive yourself crazy, and I didn't even have any drugs,

241

no acid, no molly, no any of this stuff, it was purely, I smoked a little cannabis here and there,

242

little, little Afghan kush, but it was, I'll dive deeper into these things in the future,

243

But it was truly a lesson.

244

And who knows, maybe this was a good thing because I'm a lot more sensitive to art.

245

And I really appreciate the deeper meanings and things a lot more.

246

So that's the video.

247

I'll dive deeper in this in the future.

248

That's what I've been going through.

249

Just want to be transparent.

250

I talk about my autoimmune disorder.

251

I talk about all these things.

252

Because the only way truly to be yourself is to not be afraid to talk about the things

253

that you truly deal with.

254

that are unique to you.

255

And I don't think this is entirely unique to me, which is why I've kind of spun it into a lesson.

256

But just a brief warning.

257

Your boy almost lost his mind from too much research.

258

Value the things that you truly can identify, like your family, your friends.

259

It's the holidays.

260

Put the phone down and just listen.

261

Listen to the stories of your relatives.

262

Listen to your uncle's stories, your grandpa's stories, and truly appreciate them and appreciate the time you have with these people.

263

Because I gave all of that up briefly for something that drove me insane.

264

So anyway, boys, Christ is King, and have a good one.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

쉐도잉 연습: Almost lost my mind - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

이 영상은 누구를 위한 것인가요?

빼놓을 수 없는 단어와 관용구

발음을 제대로 잡는 방법

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법