쉐도잉 연습: do you actually want it or do you just want to be seen with it? - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

People are gonna probably make fun of you and so what

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People are gonna probably make fun of you and so what

and people are gonna find you cringe because you're trying to be someone

that you're not But it's like how the fuck do you know that if you were to do it,

you would be embarrassed Do I really want what they have or is it just because I don't have it?

Hi guys, welcome back to my channel today I really want to talk about something.

I feel like everyone talks about this Especially I feel like

when I get dms from you guys where you're saying I want to make videos I want to make content,

but it's like cringe what happens to my friends like bullies me about it

and makes fun of me about it So I really want to talk about this topic.

You see all over the internet recently where people say that how cringe creates success.

I personally believe that if you're doing something and you don't feel embarrassed,

you're probably starting too late.

It's natural to start something at the beginning and you feel embarrassed about it.

Like that just means you're on the right timing of it.

You're supposed to feel like that because it's like when you're not familiar with something,

you don't know how to do something.

Of course, you're going to be a little bit embarrassed and that just means that you're starting.

And also along that, I think

that I also really want to talk about like comparison because like we all know that to do something,

to grow, to be your most authentic self,

you have to be cringe.

Because when you become a cringe,

cringe, it's where you're willing to take a lot of risk,

a lot of risk that other people wouldn't take.

And sometimes when you keep doing that,

you're like, I don't care, I don't care.

There's certain moments in life where you start comparing because you're like,

oh, am I actually being cringe?

Because it's not, I don't think it's like a linear slope where you're just like,

I don't care what people think,

I don't care what people think.

I think you build thicker skin over time,

but I genuinely believe that there's going to be moments where you're going to be like,

oh, this is kind of cringe.

Like, what the fuck am I doing?

Especially when you interact with different groups of people.

Like, that's just how it'd be sometimes, right?

So I also want to talk about that.

And so I have some notes on my phone and my laptop,

which I will probably be looking down to read.

Like, yeah, of course, like there's like moments where you really just think that it's fucking cringe.

Like literally me the other day when I was streaming on Twitch and people were like,

hey, you should look at some thirst traps by people.

And yeah, I sometimes find them cringe

but you know what it's just what people do like some people might find me cringe

and that's completely fine like she's so cringe you know

so something i get it it can just be you know it's kind of funny

but i think people think other things are cringe

because it's imperfect you have to take risk

and you also have to learn from your mistakes

because at the beginning especially for those of you guys who

are aspiring content creators of course people find it cringe

because you're trying to become someone without evidence right you're like oh i'm gonna make a bunch of content.

I'm going to try to become this content creator,

but you don't even have very much big of a platform.

Like you're getting there.

And the thing is that you're going to be seen

when you're doing this path and people are going to find you cringe because you're trying to be someone that you're not,

but it's like, how the fuck do you know that?

Because that's just how life works.

You're a, right?

You want to get to be,

it's not like you just suddenly go to be,

you have a path that you need to take to become B.

But the thing is that when you think it, you can become it.

And there's a path you're going to be seen.

You're going to be seen trying.

And I think the scary thing about trying and doing things

that are different is that you're going to be seen

and people often say like nobody really cares about what you do like people don't really judge you for

i disagree with that because i think

that yes people will judge you for what you do

and it's like people are going to probably make fun of you

and so what i think true confidence is knowing

that yes people may talk about you people may judge you

but you know that you yourself can persevere You know that you yourself can be fine no matter what the environment is.

I think that's true confidence.

And I think it's just authenticity is very, very important.

And I think when we find something cringe, right?

Like, oh, that's so cringe.

I genuinely think it's just like a projection of our inner self.

Like it's kind of like you see someone do something that's kind of cringe

and you find it cringe because if you were to do it,

you would be embarrassed, right?

And that's why you find it cringe.

But just because you do it doesn't mean it's like a really bad thing.

It's just that you're just a little embarrassed about it and you don't accept that certain aspect of yourself.

You know, that's why you find certain things like, oh, kind of weird.

But that's why I find like sometimes thirst trapping a little like,

you know, like cringe.

And this maybe in reality is not even cringe.

It's just the fact that if I were to do it,

I might find it a little, you know.

So I think it's just our own projections towards things.

And I think this year it truly taught me that authenticity is very,

very important in life because it makes things so much easier

but sometimes being authentic in the society it doesn't feel safe to be authentic with everyone because sometimes it's just,

and it's like, I think it's great for people who can be authentic to everyone.

But sometimes it's just, at least for me,

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I, not like I pick and I choose,

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but sometimes there's certain people that you just feel like there needs to be like a certain barrier.

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Like there's certain people that you feel safe enough to be authentic.

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And there's certain people that you're just like,

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oh, I need to put on my like, what's the word?

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Like, like corporate, corporate, not like corporate,

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but just like, you know, like professional, polite.

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You know what I mean?

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When you truly do what you want to do,

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if it's so-called cringe, I still think that you should do it.

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Because even now, like, when I post my own videos,

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like, I'm like, oh, that is so cringe.

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Like, why the fuck do I do that?

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But I wouldn't be here.

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I generally would not be here doing this if I didn't put myself out there.

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Low-key, like, I look back,

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I'm like, oh, why did I do my makeup like that?

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Why did I do my hair like that?

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Why do I talk like that?

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It just, like, goes on and on and on.

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I can keep judging, I can keep judging.

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But it's like, because I put myself out there,

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not, like, to be judged,

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well, that too but i didn't really think of it like

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that i'm just like i've done all the embarrassing like people see me like i put myself out there

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and

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but now it's like who cares like people can judge me

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like there's worse stuff out there like i've posted very embarrassing before like there's worse out there

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and nowadays like

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when i film it just i feel very comfortable you guys always ask why i feel

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so comfortable when i film it's because like there's so much embarrassing out there

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because like

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that i'm just like oh now at least i know how

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to do my eyeliner at least my makeup ease like you

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know i don't care like you can say all the you want like it doesn't really matter

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so it just goes to show you that when you're cringe

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and when you're just keep doing it

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and doing it you get more confident in it

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but like i said before it's not linear

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and there's moments where you become a little bit self-aware not like self-aware

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but like a bit more like you become a bit i don't know

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if the word is insecure

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because i'm not gonna lie like for a very long time i didn't give a i didn't give a

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and even now it's like right this instant i feel like i'm in the I don't give a fuck mood

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but there's moments where I do give a fuck I'm like

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oh why do I post this well why should I do this why should I do

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that it's this is kind of weird because you start comparing okay

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when you meet more people you start comparing especially in a city like New York

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and sometimes like genuinely even now this is like open conversation

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but sometimes I generally ask myself I'm like oh

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when I see people like doing certain things I'm like oh I kind of want to do

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that but I ask myself do I really want what they have

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or is it just because what did I write down There was something that I wrote down.

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Hold on.

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I need to get my fucking journal, bro.

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Oh, okay.

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This is what I wrote down.

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I said that.

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Do I really want what they have or is it just because I don't have it?

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Let me repeat that.

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Do I really want what they have or is it just because I don't have it?

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And I asked myself and I'm like, okay.

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And I think like, do I want what they have?

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Do I want that dress?

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Do I want that invitation?

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Do I want to be noticed by certain people?

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Like, Do I want to look like her?

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Do I want to like dress like the certain way?

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Do I want to be,

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you know, traveling all across the world?

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Do I want to be on the show?

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Like, like XYZ, whatever examples you can think of.

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Like, do I want that?

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Or is it just simply because I don't have it right now and I want it because of a fucking human greed?

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But I think for me, I really thought within.

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And I think it's not even the external thing.

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It's internally.

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I think I get sad or I get insecure when I see how confident girls can be.

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And this sounds so fucking fucked up, I know

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but it's generally I think about it because I'm like oh she looks

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so beautiful xyz and I it makes me feel really shit about myself

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and I'm like it's not because of them being at a fancy place

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or getting whatever the external thing is it's more

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so the within I feel

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so envious of how confident they are these days I'm not

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gonna lie I feel like I'm not very comfortable in my own skin as much as I want to be

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and I'm like wow it's the confidence I get envious of the confidence sometimes I don't know

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if the word is envious but I think that

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when I see other girls very very confident and like being just

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so confident in public it makes me realize how much i

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don't want to be perceived i think it just shows how much i need to improve to get there

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when i said that that makes me come to terms to things more like

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when i try to describe my own emotions like things make sense

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and i'm like okay this is something that we just have to fix

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but at the same time makes me feel really bad

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because it's very hard to differentiate between like do i really want this

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or is it just because i'm being avoidant and it's just something

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that i don't want to get out of my comfort zone

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and And something that I found online was that this is what they said.

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This is what you call relative deprivation.

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The sense that someone else's success highlights that you lack,

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even if you didn't care about it before.

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It's not always genuine desire.

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Sometimes it's the discomfort of being reminded you could be doing more or that someone's path seemed clearer than yours.

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So they said that try asking yourself this.

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Would I still want what they have if no one could see it?

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Would it still feel fulfilling if it didn't look impressive online?

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And if the answer is no,

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then it's probably comparison talking, not true desires

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and I think for a lot of things you don't know what you want that's another thing

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which is why I like to try out a lot of different things for myself even

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if I'm not good at it I'll try it out

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because I never know what might happen and the thing is

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that I feel like back then when I tried things I wasn't scared

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because there was like there was a goal like me now

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was probably what my college self would want to be I'll be

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so fucking for real like I'm literally living in New York

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and that was something I've always wanted to do

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and I think back then I didn't give a fuck because I couldn't afford to give a fuck.

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I didn't care.

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I was like, oh, this is gonna be cool.

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Like I romanticized this entire life.

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And then now that I'm here,

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I feel like I don't want to sound corny when I say this,

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but I feel like I've gotten to a point where I'm like,

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okay, this is where I wanted to be.

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And sometimes I forget that.

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Sometimes I forget that.

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Sometimes I'm still in the college mindset sometimes and I'm like, what the fuck?

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And I feel like that drive back then,

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like I was not scared.

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Like I didn't give a fuck because I was like constantly chasing and chasing.

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But now that I'm here,

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it just feels like I don't know what I'm chasing.

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And then I start getting a little scared because back then

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when I try out different things I'll be honest like nobody was really watching

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but now that there's like people watching it's a little scarier I'm like oh okay

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but it's like I think

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that compared to a lot of people I probably like really don't give a fuck on like the shit

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that I post you know like I post embarrassing shit like

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I really don't give a fuck I think just being in a way like my quote-unquote authentic self

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or just how I just act it makes me feel fulfilled it makes me feel happy

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and it's like I also just want to add

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that like I feel super super blessed to be accepted by you guys like genuinely I remember

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when I first started making content I didn't really feel like

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I belong like you guys genuinely made me feel like I belong like there's people who are actually like me

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and then I can actually sit here and talk about certain things

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and you guys listen and you guys think similar to me

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and that makes me feel very very blessed sometimes

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because of you guys I feel oh yeah I definitely one in life like you guys are the best

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but it's also just like

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when you compare yourself like people are always like comparison the thief of joy i agree with

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that but i also do think that

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when you compare it is also a way to grow to get better like

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when you're interacting with a lot of different people your sense

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of what you see becomes wider as in like you see the possibilities of a lot of different things

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that you never really thought of before and that's very important

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because let's just say like you're a fucking fish right

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when you're fucking fish in a small pond you don't see what's outside right

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so it's very important to get uncomfortable and

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when you get uncomfortable i think that

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that is also how you grow you know there's a reason why it's uncomfortable like it really tests you

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and it makes you feel like you're not doing enough

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but it's like the moment when you realize that that's

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when you also become more that's when you realize

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that oh maybe i lack this lack

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that see i don't use the word lacking

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but it's just like there's another possibility for you out there

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that you can achieve okay that you did not know before you're uncomfortable now because this is not something you're used to.

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But like I said before at the beginning,

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that just means that you're just on time, okay?

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Because if this was something that you are like super comfortable with and you just never did it before,

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that just means you're a little fucking late because like, what the fuck?

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Like you might as well do it.

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Like what the heck?

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If you're comfortable with this and you're fine with this,

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you might as well do it.

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But if you're uncomfortable, that just means that the timing is perfect and you can just start right now.

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I believe that we only live once.

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This is my personal belief.

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You don't have to have the same belief as me,

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but this is my personal belief.

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You only live once genuinely make this life yours okay i

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mean it whoever's judging you do they pay your rent are

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they paying your fucking bills babe like who gives a fuck you have to live this life as your own

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because i think like it's so such a blessing

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that we get to experience this life at this specific timing

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you're probably not going to be here within 100 years you're probably not going to be here

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because i think it's such a regret to be you know

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when you're laying on your deathbed

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and you're just like oh i could have been doing this i could have been doing

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that you might as well be fucking and embarrassing

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and do some stuff where people are gonna talk about

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because trust me i don't know i feel like people who say

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that people don't talk about people i think we should just accept

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that yes people are going to talk about us but

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so what yes people are going to talk about us

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but they're fucking pathetic losers like we're out here trying to make better versions of ourselves testing our limits

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and putting ourselves out there and they just be talking shit

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but honestly we probably need people talking shit about us

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because those are the fucking haters and haters be fans

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if people are talking about you you're probably doing something right okay babes

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so yes people are gonna talk about you okay i don't

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know this might be an unpopular opinion i don't know people fucking say this

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but i live with the mentality people are gonna talk shit it might be a very pessimistic thing

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but whatever you want to believe in i just think

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that people not talking about you is kind of unrealistic

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because you know there's always haters out there

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and i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing

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because it's just reality especially when you do something

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that where a majority of people don't do people are going to say things

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and you know they might be right they might be wrong who the fuck knows

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but all you really do know at the end of the day

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which is kind of the sad reality is

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that you just live your own life this life is yours

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you do certain things you face the consequences of it

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but i think that everyone should be wanting to improve their lives

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so if you think

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that something's going to genuinely improve your quality of life do it you know do it

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and you have to remember

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when you become a certain version of yourself you're going to attract people who are like you

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and i think i've said this before it's also you're gonna attract people who i really hate to say this

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but sometimes they put a little disguise as your friend they're those people

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that you know that they're just friends with you but you know

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that they secretly don't like you and those instances it really sucks

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because it's like that gets exhausting and it really sucks

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because it really makes me just not even want to talk to people anymore

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because you feel it's a sort of energy that you know

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that they're not happy for you

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and you're gonna attract a lot of those people that's why be smart with who you hang out with

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and my advice is always keep your circle small okay you

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rather have a few close friends than a bunch of fucking

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acquaintances a friend to all is friend to none okay

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and i live by that

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because to me it just feels like there's no backbone i generally think

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that you can only build meaningful friendships when you can genuinely invest time

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and energy into each person when you have a lot of people you cannot invest all

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that energy into everyone you know it's just not possible So be wise with the people that you hang out with.

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I also want to say that it is okay for,

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let's say that you have certain goals, right?

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Especially when you start comparing to people.

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When you have certain goals and your goals change, they shift.

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I think that's very normal,

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especially if you're a person,

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you're fucking going to evolve.

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And also you're getting older.

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Of course, the things that you want is going to evolve.

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But I think it's also very important.

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You know, this is going to be open conversation.

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You guys can disagree with me on this.

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It's also just like, remember what your child self wants.

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Some people might say that,

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well, you're just saying that because you want to stay within your comfort zone.

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That could be it.

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But I also don't think it's wrong to be within your comfort zone sometimes.

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It makes you feel safe because I feel like if you're constantly feeling unsafe and constantly stressed,

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it's, I don't think that's good for your mental health.

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You have to sometimes just be comfortable and feel safe and also protect your inner child, right?

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I think it's good to have a balance of pushing yourself bit by bit,

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but also be comfortable and doing things where your child self would have wanted

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because that I think brings a lot of joy.

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Like the other day I literally built my projector and I'm just sitting in my bedroom.

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I'm lying in my bed watching,

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looking at the wall, watching the projector, watching cartoons.

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Because back then I didn't get to watch a lot of like American,

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like mainstream cartoons as a kid because we didn't have the channels to watch it.

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So now that I have that,

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I'm like, that's so good.

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And literally I get to call takeout now because I'm an adult.

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I mean, these are things that just generally brings me a lot of joy.

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So I'm saying like, even when you compare yourself,

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just make sure to not lose track of who you wanted to be as a kid.

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Like you just constantly have to ask yourself,

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when as a kid certain things would make me happy chances are those things will probably still make you happy

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so sometimes make sure to just tap into that

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and make sure you're fulfilling that to make yourself feel better

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so yeah that's just something

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that i just wanted to pop in here i know that's like a whole jumble of thoughts

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but that's just something that's been going on in my head lately

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that kind of journaled about and maybe you guys might find it relatable

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and it might get you guys thinking too

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but anyway guys i hope you guys like this journal entry let me know what you guys think

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and i'll see you guys all very very soon okay bye Talbot

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