쉐도잉 연습: Learn English with Stories ⭐ 60 Years Waiting | Level 3 English Listening & Speaking Practice - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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My name is Clara, and I am 78 years old.
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My name is Clara, and I am 78 years old.
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I want to tell you something nobody told me when I was young.
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I got married when I was 22 years old.
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Life was very different then.
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I was taught that a good woman did not ask for much.
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She took care of others.
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She stayed quiet.
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She did what was needed.
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For most of my life, I believed that being a good woman meant saying yes to everyone.
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I said yes to my husband, my children, my parents, my friends, and my boss.
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I thought this was love.
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I thought this was strength.
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Now I know I was wrong.
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I spent almost 60 years trying to be perfect.
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I tried to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect daughter,
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and the perfect worker I married a kind man He worked hard and provided for our family I loved him,
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and I know he loved me I supported his career and held our home together I smiled when I was supposed to smile and stayed quiet when I was supposed to stay quiet
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I did what I believed was right.
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I was not unhappy, but I was not fully happy either.
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Late at night, when the house was quiet, a small voice inside me asked, Is this all my life will be?
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Each time that thought came, I pushed it away.
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I felt guilty for thinking about myself.
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I believed wanting more meant being selfish.
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When I was 35, I finally spoke out loud.
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I told my husband, I want to go back to school.
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I love literature.
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I want to teach.
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He looked at me and said, We can't afford it now.
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The children need you.
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Maybe later.
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So I waited.
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Years passed.
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When the children grew older, I asked again, He said, I'm thinking about retirement now.
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We need to help my parents.
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Maybe in a few years.
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So I waited again.
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Every few years, the dream returned.
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When I saw teachers on television or walked past a school, my heart felt heavy.
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I imagined myself holding a book, standing in front of students, sharing stories.
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Then I remembered my responsibilities, and the dream slowly faded.
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When I was 55, his parents passed away.
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I thought, now it's my turn.
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But then our daughter got divorced and needed help with her children.
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I told myself, how can I think about myself when my family needs me?
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So I waited again.
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When I was 71, my husband passed away after 42 years of marriage.
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The house became very quiet.
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There were no footsteps, no questions, no plans.
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I ate alone and slept alone.
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Some days, I did not speak to anyone at all.
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I realized that for 60 years my identity had been wrapped around other people, and now there was nothing left to hold on to.
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I was scared not only because I missed him, but because I did not know who I was without caring for someone else.
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I had been someone's wife and someone's mother for so long that I had never learned how to be just myself.
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About a year and a half later, I found a letter my husband had written before we married.
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In it, he wrote about my intelligence and my curiosity.
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He said he was excited to see what I would do in life.
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I sat on the floor holding that letter and cried.
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I cried because I realized I had slowly buried that young woman and her dreams.
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I had told myself I was being selfless when in truth, I had been disappearing.
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At 72, I made a decision.
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I said to myself, it is not too late.
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I was afraid.
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I wondered what people would think.
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I wondered if I would fail.
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I wondered if I was too old.
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But another voice inside me asked, what if you never try?
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That voice was stronger.
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I joined a community college and began studying literature, art history, and philosophy.
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Young students sat around me with laptops and notebooks.
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For the first time in decades, I felt alive.
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I also began traveling.
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At first, I took small trips to nearby places I had always wanted to see.
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Later I traveled farther.
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I walked slowly.
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I looked around carefully.
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I was no longer rushing through life.
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I was finally living it.
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The hardest lesson was learning to say no.
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When my children called and asked for help, sometimes I said, I'm sorry, I already have plans.
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One day my daughter said, you have changed.
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I smiled and said, yes, I have.
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And I needed to.
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She did not fully understand, but she respected my choice.
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That was enough.
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Now, I am 78 years old and I finally know who I am.
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I am not only someone's wife or someone's mother.
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I am a woman who loves books, art, and quiet mornings.
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I enjoy my own company.
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I travel when I want and rest when I need to.
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I say yes when I mean yes, and I say no without guilt.
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But my heart still hurts.
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I spent 60 years putting myself last.
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I spent 60 years waiting for permission that never came.
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I cannot get those years back.
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Sometimes I imagine speaking to my younger self.
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I would hold her hands and say, please don't disappear.
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Please don't wait your whole life.
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You matter too.
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You are not selfish for having dreams.
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You are not selfish for saying no.
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You are not selfish for choosing yourself.
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Life never becomes quiet.
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There will always be another responsibility, another reason to wait.
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Please don't make my mistake.
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Don't wait for permission.
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Your life is not practice.
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This is your real life, and it is happening today.
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