I'd rather be failing and struggling trying  to create the life that I actually want than be failing and struggling living a life  that makes me want to jump off a bridge.

I woke up this morning feeling passionate about  this topic because it's really really important for you to live life for yourself. Okay? For  you to stop existing and start living a life that makes sense to you. And I think  a lot of us whether we like it or not, we're just existing because the entire playbook  that we are using is somebody else's. Check out most people who followed a script. They're also  miserable. I'd rather be failing and struggling trying to create the life that I actually want  than be failing and struggling living a life that makes me want to jump off a bridge. Living a life  that makes me extremely miserable. I'll use myself as as an example. Very good in school. You know, a  lot of awards. My two degrees are both first class degrees. So naturally the expectation was that  everything that I did was going to go in that line. So I was going to be a doctor at first.  You know everybody said I was going to go to medical school and then I changed my mind last  minute and then I had to go and study law. And then while studying law I decided I didn't want  to be a lawyer anymore and I wanted to you know be an artist and be a creative something I've  always loved something I've always done. And it looked like a joke but I just refused to carry on  with the legal career. I completed my law degree, got my law degree, but I refused to carry on  with the legal career. In doing that, I have had to deal with the consequences of my action  because I think that's what we're also afraid of.

We all feel like if we don't live life a certain  way, there will be consequences. Yes, there will be consequences, but you have to live with the  consequences of your actions. My consequences were that I struggled for a long time. Think of  all the types of jobs you can imagine. I've had them. But I will tell you something. I never ever  ever I never ever regretted. The only thing I ever had kind of any sadness about was I wish that  I had more expansive career options because of where I come from. I had only three options. I  I was either a lawyer, a doctor or an engineer.

And you know that sucked because I didn't know  I had other options. I could have been a graphic designer. I could have been an architect. I could  have been anything else. I know that a lot of the consequences of my actions that I've experienced  in someone else's book, I guess when I was in the depths of my consequences, someone might look at  me and go like, it just doesn't make any sense that this is happening to Pearl or that like Pearl  is living a life like this. But the reality is I was content where I was because I had a dream and  I still have a dream and a goal that I'm heading towards and I knew that the path to where I was  going because it was an unbeaten path. Of course, it's not easy. Of course, it's not cleared.  When someone when people have walked a path over and over again, they remove all the sticks,  all the things blocking the path. So, anybody that comes after them, it's easier. But when you're  the person making the path for the first time, it's going to be much harder because you have to  break down these trees that have fallen. Like, you have to break down all these things, all  these debris on the floor. You have to do the breaking and the clearing. You are clearing the  path because you're the first person walking that path. And that's how I saw myself. Ask yourself,  what playbook am I living by? A lot of us, the things we want, honestly, if you sit down  and examine it, you realize that it's not what you want. It's just not what you want. It's what  you've been conditioned to want. I I think that the most important thing is to let go of the idea  that life has to look a certain way. Someone might look at you and judge you and think that your life  makes no sense, but then it makes no sense because it's not their life. Does your life make sense to  you? Does your way of living make sense to you?

There are people who live life with no plans, with  zero plans. They go with the flow every moment. If you put that person against somebody whose entire  way of being is about planning every moment, that person might mistakenly judge the other  person as somebody with no purpose. But what if their purpose is to exist with the flow of  life? And then someone who lives like that, if they're not aware, might look at somebody who  has all these steps and all these plans and think, you know, this person is too rigid. No, you  do not know where they come from. You don't know why everything is planned out. I don't think  anybody is particularly wrong or right about their approach to life. It's just that whatever approach  you follow, there are consequences. Are you ready for your consequences? And that's it's not even a  bad thing. If you live a certain way, you will pay the price. And paying the price is the baseline of  our lives. It's fine. I'm paying the price of my life. I will pay the price. I will keep paying  the price. Whatever choices I make. So do not be afraid to go out of the box or out of whatever  has been set for you because you're worried about the price you will pay. Because whether you like  it or not, right now you are paying a price. You will pay the price for staying where you've been  told to stay. Me, I think that where I'm headed is freedom for me. What is freedom for me? Freedom  for me is being able to do whatever the [ __ ] I want with my life, with my body, with where I  live, with who is around me, where I go, what I eat. It's freedom. I don't want anybody telling  me how to be. I don't want anybody informing me what to do with my sexuality or what to do  with my sensuality, what to do with my brain, what to do with my intelligence, what to do with  my gifts. I don't want anybody telling me nothing about me. I want to be in charge of my life  completely and utterly. Okay? So, I make decisions that might look sometimes a bit weird to some  people. It might not look sensible in the moment, but the point is I'm working towards a reality  where Pearl is in charge of Pearl's life where when I look back, I can say I did that. That was  my choice. And I'm not always right, but that's okay. I learn when I'm wrong. How do you want to  live? What is your baseline? What is your limit?

You don't have to, you know, pursue things because  that's what everybody's doing. Because some of us right now, the reason why you're under a lot of  stress is that you're looking at the intensity of other people's lives and you're comparing yours to  theirs. It's okay if you just want to be a slow, you know, a slow morning, slow day person, sit out  in the park. What is the consequence? You probably will earn less than other people. But then your  life will be okay if you're living within your means of earning. Life falls apart when you're  living a certain way and then you're expecting the results of somebody else living a certain way and  then you're comparing you will never be happy. So what is enough for you? There are people who make  I don't know six figures a month. There people who make millions of dollars and they are unhappy.  They will keep pursuing because nothing is ever enough. So what is enough for you? And there are  people who make very little and they're content.

What they have is what they have and they're fine  with what they have. It's all about you. I don't think this is not a prescription. I have dreams of  the kind of exact life I want. Okay. But that's my life. I my goal especially with my platform is  not to impose anything on you but I just want to make sure and I want to hope that what I offer  here is that whatever you decide or whatever life you have is yours and this also boils down to our  bodies. What does your body mean to you when it comes to your body? There is no supposed to. What  do you enjoy? What makes you feel good? Why are you doing it? Is this expression? Is this fun?  Is this community? Is this pleasure for you? Or do you think this is how ABC and D does this? This  is how I must do it. No. What is your limit? What is your baseline? What is your dream? Live for  yourself. And some of us I know will come from places where the people whose dreams you're living  out, you know, you love them. Of course, you maybe you don't want to disappoint them. But darling,  darling, you're disappointing yourself. If you ever have to pick between disappointing yourself  and disappointing other people, disappoint other people. They will live because the truth is when  they go home, you are stuck with yourself and you will feel stuck. And that's the worst part. You  will always be with yourself. Unlike those people, okay, when they go home, they just go home with  their ideas of how they want you to be you.

You feel stuck in your body, in your life. You  feel like you can't escape. You look around and it feels stuffy. They're not living your life.  So, think about your life. What motivates you?

What makes you want to wake up in the morning?  What kind of mornings do you want to have? What work do you need to put in now to achieve the kind  of days you want to have? Once you decide that, you will start living, not just existing, living  a life that means everything to you. For me, I hate being put in a box. I want to be on a  podium speaking on something important on Monday and on Tuesday, I want to be completely butt  naked somewhere doing what I like. On Wednesday, I want to be somewhere writing. On Thursday, I  want to be on stage doing a play or improv. On that's the life I like. And I know that this life  I like is non-traditional. I know that I'm not a traditional person. So, I don't chase traditional  things cuz it will be the end of me. Okay? Hey, I don't do traditional relationships. I don't  do gender roles. It makes me sick. I hate [ __ ] like that. Like I have decided how I want to live.  So any messaging that clashes with the life I've decided that I want for myself is not welcome.  So really pay attention to the things you listen to. Who are you listening to on the internet?  What are they saying? Okay? Because I see a lot of things online. You know, people kind of in  my opinion, actually it's not just my opinion, this is just [ __ ] reality. I see a lot of  messaging especially directed at young women and it comes in this big sister packaging but  it's just misogyny honestly it's patriarchal misogynistic ideologies wrapped in a bow  and in pink boxes and it's disgusting you know it's still indirectly putting women in a box  forcing us into palatable small you know it's just icky and I don't want that I don't want that  For any young woman, I want you to be whatever you want to be, whatever that looks like for you.  Honestly, if you want to be a traditional person, go ahead. Just be aware of what that means. That's  all. Just be aware. Okay? The day you accept that in your body exists everything, the feminine, the  masculine, the in between, everything possible, that's the day you set yourself free. Stop trying  to be something. Stop trying to act something and just be. How does your brain work? How does your  mind work? Lean into that. Have the courage, the courage to live a life that means something  to you. If you're stuck on things like self-love, self-confidence, healing from trauma, or you're  like, "Oh, I know that happened to me, but I don't know what to do next. Oh, I need more information  on how to learn to love myself. How to learn to reparent myself. I don't know what to do with  the anger. I don't know how to grieve. You know, ways of getting back to myself. How do I learn  confidence that will last? How do I How do I?

I have made practical workbooks, real workbooks.  I've put it all in there, very detailed for you to be able to work at your own pace to work through  things. Get them at the neurocosmic.com. bye.