쉐도잉 연습: Why Your English Conversations Feel Awkward (It’s NOT Your Grammar) | English Podcast - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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You know that moment when you're speaking English and everything you're saying is correct,
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You know that moment when you're speaking English and everything you're saying is correct,
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but something still feels wrong.
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Yeah, like you can feel the other person's face change just a little,
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and you don't know why.
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Exactly.
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You go home and you replay the conversation in your head,
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and you can't figure out what you did.
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Your grammar was fine, your vocabulary was fine.
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But the conversation felt awkward.
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That feeling.
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That's what we're going to talk about today.
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Hi, I'm Sarah.
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And I'm Mike.
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Welcome to the English Conversation Podcast.
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This is a place where we talk about real English,
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the kind that happens between people, not in textbooks.
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And today, we want to talk about something that almost nobody talks about, but everyone feels.
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That strange discomfort when you're speaking English and you're doing everything right,
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but it's not working.
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So, let me start with a story.
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A few years ago, I had a colleague from Spain.
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Really smart guy.
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Worked in tech, spoke beautiful English.
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His grammar was probably better than mine, honestly.
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Better than yours?
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That's not hard.
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Hey, fair.
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But anyway, one day we're in the break room and another colleague asked him,
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Hey, Carlos, want to grab lunch with us?
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And Carlos says, no. Just like that.
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No. Oh, no. Right?
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And the thing is, he didn't want to go to lunch,
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so his answer was correct.
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It was honest, it was grammatically perfect,
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but everyone in the room felt it, this coldness.
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Yeah, because in English, we almost never just say no like that,
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not to an invitation.
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Exactly.
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And Carlos didn't know that.
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He went back to his desk thinking everything was fine,
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but the other person felt a little rejected,
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maybe even a little hurt.
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And this is the thing that so many English learners don't realize.
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The problem isn't the words.
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The problem is how we use them in social situations.
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It's about the feeling behind the words.
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Right.
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And this is what we want to talk about today.
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Because if you've ever felt like your English sounds awkward or robotic or just off,
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even when it's correct, this is probably why.
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It's not your grammar.
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It's not your vocabulary.
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It's not even your accent.
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It's that you're speaking textbook English in a social situation.
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And those are two completely different things.
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So let's go back to that moment with Carlos.
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What should he have said?
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Well, in English, when someone invites you to something and you don't want to go,
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you don't just say no. You soften it.
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You might say something like,
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oh, I'd love to, but I actually brought my lunch today.
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Or thanks for asking, but I think I'm going to eat at my desk today.
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I've got a lot to finish.
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Or even just, ah, not today,
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but thanks, with a warm tone.
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Right.
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And notice what we're doing here.
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We're not just answering the question,
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we're taking care of the other person's feelings.
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This is what I mean by social English.
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In English-speaking cultures, especially in places like the US,
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UK, Canada, Australia, we wrap our words in softness.
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Yeah.
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And if you don't do this,
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even if your English is perfect, people feel something's wrong.
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They can't always explain what it is, but they feel it.
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And here's the hard part.
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Nobody teaches you this.
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Not in school, not in English classes, not in apps.
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They teach you grammar, they teach you vocabulary, they teach you pronunciation.
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But they don't teach you how to make people feel comfortable when you talk.
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And that's the real skill.
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That's what makes a conversation feel natural.
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So let's talk about another example.
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Mike, imagine someone asks you,
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can you help me move this weekend?
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Oh, and I don't want to?
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Right, you don't want to.
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So what do you say?
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Well, I definitely don't say,
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no, I don't want to help you.
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Right, even though that's the truth.
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Exactly.
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I'd probably say something like,
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oh man, I wish I could,
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but I'm actually visiting my parents this weekend.
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I'm really sorry.
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Or, ah, this weekend's really bad for me.
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Any chance you could do it the weekend after?
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Right, and again, look at what we're doing.
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We're not just saying no, we're explaining.
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We're showing that we care.
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We're giving a reason.
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We're apologizing, even though we didn't do anything wrong.
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This probably sounds crazy if you're not used to it.
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Why apologize?
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You didn't do anything wrong.
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You just can't help.
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But in English, especially in American and British English,
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we apologize for things that aren't our fault all the time.
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It's not really an apology.
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It's more like a way of showing we care about the other person's situation.
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It's emotional comfort.
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Exactly.
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That's the phrase.
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Emotional comfort.
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When we speak English in social situations,
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we're constantly trying to make the other person feel comfortable.
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We're trying to make sure they don't feel rejected or stupid or annoying or pushy.
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And if you don't do this,
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your English will sound cold,
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even if every word is correct.
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And this is why so many English learners feel frustrated.
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They study for years.
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They know all the grammar rules.
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They have a great vocabulary.
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But when they speak, something still feels off.
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Because they're speaking correct English,
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but they're not speaking social English.
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Right.
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And here's another thing.
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In many languages, being direct is normal.
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It's even polite.
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It shows you respect the other person's time.
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You say what you mean clearly and quickly.
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But in English, especially in social situations,
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being too direct can sound rude.
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It can sound aggressive, even if you don't mean it that way.
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I have a friend from Germany who told me about this.
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In German, if someone asks you if you want coffee,
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you can just say, 9,
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no. And that's completely normal.
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Right, nobody thinks you're being rude.
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But in English, if someone offers you coffee and you just say,
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no, it sounds harsh.
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It sounds like you're annoyed.
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Yeah, we'd say something like,
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oh, no thanks, I'm okay.
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Or, I'm good, but thank you.
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Or, I just had one, but thanks for offering.
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And these extra words, they don't add information.
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They add feeling.
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That's such a good way to put it.
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They add feeling.
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They make the moment feel softer.
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They make the other person feel okay about asking.
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And this is happening all the time in English conversations.
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Not just with yes and no, but with everything.
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Right.
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Let's say you're at work and someone sends you a document,
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but they sent the wrong one.
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How do you tell them?
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Well, you don't say, this is wrong.
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No way.
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That would sound so harsh.
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You'd say something like, hey,
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thanks for sending this over.
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I think this might be the wrong version, though.
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Do you have the updated one?
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Right.
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Or, I might be confused,
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but I think I need the other document,
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the one from last week.
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And again, look at what we're doing.
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We're not saying, you made a mistake.
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We're protecting their feelings or making it sound like maybe we're the ones who are confused.
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Even though they sent the wrong thing.
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Exactly.
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And this might sound dishonest to some people.
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Like, why don't we just say what we mean?
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But it's not dishonest.
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It's kind.
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It's making sure the other person doesn't feel stupid or embarrassed.
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And this is a huge part of English-speaking culture.
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We try really hard not to make other people feel bad even in small ways,
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even by accident.
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So we add all these extra words and phrases that soften everything.
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And if you don't know how to do this,
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your English will sound too strong,
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too sharp, even if you don't feel that way inside.
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And people won't want to talk to you as much.
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Not because they don't like you,
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but because the conversation feels uncomfortable.
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So let's pause for a second and just be really clear about something.
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If you're listening to this and you're thinking,
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oh no, I've been doing this wrong the whole time,
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please don't feel bad.
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Yeah, this is not your fault.
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Nobody taught you this.
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Right.
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Your English teachers taught you grammar.
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They taught you how to pass tests,
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but they probably didn't teach you how to actually talk to people in a way that feels natural.
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Because most English teachers aren't native speakers.
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And even if they are,
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they're focused on grammar and vocabulary and sentence structure.
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They're not focused on the emotional side of conversation,
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the soft language, the indirect language,
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the way we protect people's feelings with our words.
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And this is really hard to teach in a classroom anyway because you can't learn it from rules.
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You learn it from listening,
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from noticing, from feeling the difference.
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Right.
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It's almost like music.
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You can read about music theory,
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but if you want to actually play music,
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you need to listen to music.
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A lot of music.
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That's such a good comparison,
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and it's the same with conversation.
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You need to listen to real conversations,
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not scripted dialogues from textbooks.
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Real people talking to each other.
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And you need to pay attention not just to the words,
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but to how people use them.
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the tone, the softness, the extra phrases that seem unnecessary but actually do so much work.
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So let's talk about tone for a minute because this is huge.
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Yeah, you can say the exact same words and depending on your tone,
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they mean completely different things.
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Right, so let's take a simple phrase.
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That's interesting.
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Okay, so if I say,
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that's interesting, with a rising tone and genuine curiosity in my voice,
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it means I really think it's interesting.
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But if you say, that's interesting,
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flat, with no emotion, it sounds like you're politely saying, I don't care.
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Or even worse, if you say,
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that's interesting, with a pause and a certain tone,
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it means that's weird or I don't like that.
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Exactly.
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Same words, completely different meanings.
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And the meaning comes from the tone, not from the dictionary.
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And this is why English learners sometimes say something and get a totally different reaction than they expected.
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Because they're using the right words,
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but the tone is sending a different message.
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Right.
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And here's the thing.
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Tone is really hard to learn from a book.
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You have to hear it.
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You have to feel it.
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This is why listening is so important.
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Not listening to learn new words,
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but listening to learn how people use their voice.
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How they go up at the end of a sentence when they're asking something,
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even if it's not technically a question.
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How they stretch out certain words to show emotion.
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How they pause before saying something difficult.
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All of these tiny things that native speakers do without thinking about it.
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And if you don't do them, your English sounds flat.
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It sounds robotic, even if the words are perfect.
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So, here's another really important thing.
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In English, we often say the opposite of what we mean,
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and you're supposed to understand from context and tone.
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Oh, yeah.
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This is a big one.
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So, let's say you help your friend move,
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and it's really exhausting, hours of carrying heavy boxes,
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and at the end, your friend says,
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That was fun, with a certain tone.
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Right.
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They don't mean it was actually fun.
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They mean the opposite.
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It was terrible.
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But you're supposed to laugh and agree and say,
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oh yeah, so much fun,
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with the same sarcastic tone.
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And if you take it literally and say,
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yes, I enjoyed it very much, the moment gets weird.
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Because you miss the tone, you miss the sarcasm.
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And this happens all the time in English.
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People say things they don't literally mean,
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and you're supposed to understand from how they say it.
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Another example.
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Let's say it's raining really hard outside,
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like pouring rain, and someone looks out the window and says, beautiful day.
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They mean the opposite.
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They're being sarcastic.
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They're saying the weather is terrible.
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And the correct response is to laugh or roll your eyes or say, oh yeah, gorgeous.
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Not but it's raining.
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Right, because everyone knows it's raining.
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The joke is saying the opposite.
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And this kind of ironic,
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sarcastic tone is everywhere in English conversation,
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especially in British English, but also in American English.
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And if you're not used to it,
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you'll miss it, and the conversation will feel confusing.
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So let's bring this all together.
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What we're trying to say is that speaking English naturally isn't about grammar rules or fancy vocabulary.
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It's about understanding how English speakers use language socially.
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It's about softness, indirectness, emotional comfort,
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taking care of other people's feelings with your words.
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It's about tone and implied meaning,
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understanding what people mean, not just what they say.
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And the only way to really learn this is to listen,
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a lot, to real conversations.
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Not to study, not to memorize,
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just to listen and notice and start to feel the patterns.
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And this is what we want to do with this podcast.
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We want to help you hear real English,
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the social side of English, the human side.
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Because that's what makes conversations work.
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That's what makes people want to talk to you.
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Not perfect grammar, not big vocabulary,
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but the feeling that you understand them and you care about how they feel.
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And once you start to understand this,
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English becomes so much easier because you stop trying to be perfect and you start trying to be human.
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You start to relax.
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And when you relax, conversations flow better.
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People respond to you better.
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Everything feels more natural.
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So if you've been feeling frustrated because your English feels awkward even though you study really hard,
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we get it.
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We understand.
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And we want you to know that it's not your fault.
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You just haven't been learning the right thing.
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You've been learning textbook English.
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And now it's time to learn social English.
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And that's what we're here for.
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Every day we're going to talk about real English.
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We're going to show you examples.
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We're going to help you hear the difference.
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And slowly, without even realizing it,
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you're going to start to feel it.
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You're going to start to notice these patterns,
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and your English is going to start to sound more natural.
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Not because you studied harder,
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but because you listened more.
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So that's it for today.
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We covered a lot.
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The main thing we want you to remember is this.
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The reason your conversations feel awkward isn't because your English is bad It's
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because you're using correct English in situations that need social English
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and social English is all about softness tone and making people feel comfortable It's not about rules.
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It's about feeling
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and you learn it by listening by noticing by giving yourself permission to sound less perfect and more human So,
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tomorrow we'll be back with another conversation.
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We're going to talk about one of the most confusing things in English,
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how to disagree with someone without sounding rude.
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Because that's another place where being too direct can really cause problems.
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So come back tomorrow, listen while you're having coffee,
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or walking, or cooking, or just relaxing.
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The more you listen, the more natural English will feel.
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Not because you're studying, but because you're absorbing it,
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the same way you absorbed your first language.
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Thanks for listening today.
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We're really glad you're here.
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And remember, your English is better than you think.
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You just need to learn how to use it with people,
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not just with grammar books.
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See you tomorrow.
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Take care.
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이 수업에 대하여
이번 수업에서는 영어 대화에서 느끼는 어색함의 원인과 이를 해결하기 위한 다양한 방법을 연습할 것입니다. 문법이나 어휘는 맞지만, 대화가 자연스럽지 않거나 불편하게 느껴지는 이유에 대해 배우고, 좀 더 매끄럽고 자연스러운 표현을 사용하도록 하겠습니다. 먼저, 대화할 때의 어조와 감정을 이해하는 것이 중요합니다. 이 수업을 통해 실제 대화에서 흔히 경험하는 감정의 뉘앙스를 파악하고 실생활에 적용할 수 있는 기술을 기를 것입니다.
주요 어휘 및 표현
- 정중함 (politeness): 대화에서 상대방을 배려한 표현이 얼마나 중요한지를 나타내는 단어.
- 거절 (rejection): 초대나 제안을 거부하는 방식에 대한 표현으로, 문화적 맥락이 작용함.
- 감정의 뉘앙스 (nuance of feelings): 단어가 전달하는 감정의 미세한 차이.
- 자연스러운 대화 (natural conversation): 교과서가 아닌 실제 상황에서 이루어지는 대화의 형태.
- 음성 느낌 (tone of voice): 대화 중에 사용하는 목소리의 감정적 색깔.
- 영어 쉐도잉 (shadowspeak): 원어민의 대화를 따라 하며 연습하는 방법.
- 사회적 맥락 (social context): 대화가 이루어지는 상황에 따라 달라지는 대화 방식.
연습 팁
영어 대화의 자연스러움을 향상시키기 위해, 영어 쉐도잉 기법을 활용해보세요. 이 기법은 원어민의 발음을 따라 하거나 대화의 리듬을 익히는 데 효과적입니다. 영상의 속도와 톤을 유의하면서, shadow speech를 연습해 보세요. 발음을 정확히 따라 할 뿐 아니라, 대화의 감정적인 부분까지 고려하여 연습하는 것이 중요합니다. 다음과 같은 팁을 참고하세요:
- 비디오를 여러 번 시청하며 발음을 따라하세요.
- 각 대화에서의 감정적인 뉘앙스를 느껴보세요. 단순히 대사를 반복하는 것이 아니라, 그 상황에서 느껴지는 감정을 이해하는 것이 중요합니다.
- 대화 패턴을 연습하여, 자연스럽게 대화할 수 있도록 저속도부터 시작하여 서서히 빠른 속도로 도전하세요.
- 정기적으로 연습하여 어색함을 줄이고, 자신감을 쌓도록 하세요.
영어 대화의 어색함을 극복하고 자연스러운 대화 능력을 기르기 위해 shadowspeaks 방식으로 연습하세요. 다양한 상황에서의 감정을 이해하는 것이 여러분의 영어 실력을 한 단계 높일 것입니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.
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