Shadowing Practice: how to become the best version of yourself (in 6 weeks) | Becoming Her Ep.1 - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

If I asked you to describe what life would look like for the very best version of you,

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If I asked you to describe what life would look like for the very best version of you,

what would your answer be?

What would their day look like?

What would they value?

How would they spend their mornings, their evenings?

What matters to them?

Maybe they would wake up a little earlier,

make a green juice and have breakfast with their family.

Maybe they would put their phone down while they ate dinner.

Maybe they would finally read that book or drink more water.

We could all describe how the very best version of us might spend their days,

but what we don't realise is that the only person standing in the way of becoming that person,

living that life, is you.

So, for the next six weeks,

I'm going to live like the very best version of me.

Let's see what happens.

You know, as much as I live for all things cosy,

even I am a little bit taken aback by the fact

that I'm wearing a full knitted outfit with a cup of tea in July.

The window's right behind you,

and it is a very, very rainy day here.

Before I get into what my 10 daily and three weekly non-negotiables are going to be for the next six weeks,

I really want us to do this together.

I really want you to do this with me.

Your non-negotiables might look exactly like mine,

or you might want to edit the list a little bit to include things that are really important to you personally.

So for example, one of yours might be that for one hour every single day,

you want to spend time with your children with no screens or something like that.

All that matters is

that we're showing up as the very best version of ourselves for the next six weeks

and we're going to do it all together.

Six weeks felt like a really good amount of time to truly kind of test

and reflect on how these changes actually impact your life

and how you're feeling and what you're achieving and all of

that kind of stuff and I guess kind of how your life changes

when you're not just daydreaming about the kind of person you wish you were

but you're actually making daily steps towards being that person.

Okay, this first one is probably the one that you've heard the most often.

I'm not saying I have to wake up by 6 or by 5am every single day.

All I'm committing to is waking up early enough every day

that I feel like I've got a head start on the day.

Making sure that I'm not sleeping in,

that I'm not waking up with 10 minutes before I need to be somewhere,

I'm not missing anything, and just waking up with enough time to pace my morning in the way that I want to.

That is going to look slightly different depending on what time you start work

or what time you have commitments in the morning.

Just think it's really important to start your day with a

feeling of control over your day rather than your day is about to take control of you

which is how it can sometimes feel when you wake up

and you're already running behind on the things you need to do in the day.

So that is my first daily non-negotiable.

My second non-negotiable is no phone before 9am,

after 9pm or during meal times.

This one I feel like is going to be the biggest game changer for me

because I just the other day actually had an example of why this is so important.

I woke up in the morning feeling great,

feeling positive about my day,

in a good mood, had loads of things planned,

was going to be really productive and the first thing I did was roll over,

open my phone, go into my emails and see an email

that basically said that I hadn't got something that I really wanted

and that just affected my mood for the rest of the morning.

I was feeling self-doubt, I was feeling down about it,

I no longer wanted to be productive and really really affected me

and I just found myself thinking I wish I hadn't opened

that email before I'd even given my day a chance to get started.

I also remember hearing that you're more like vulnerable and fragile in the first 30 minutes I think when you wake up.

Your brain is less resilient,

more susceptible to taking things in so it's really really important to just give yourself

that time in the morning

and I also think for a similar reason in the evening

rather than scrolling through other people's lives for an hour before you go to sleep just not doing that

and then not going on my phone during meal time is

really to tackle this attention deficit situation I think all of us are affected by this to some degree

but I've really noticed it in myself recently especially in the evening

when I'm watching a movie or something I keep reaching for my phone

which is such like a compulsive behavior and I hate it.

I really want to be more present in the moment that I'm actually in,

whether that's eating my meal,

whether that's watching a movie.

I want to be where my feet are as the saying goes

and I also just really noticed that mindlessly scrolling really gives me like brain fog

and negatively impacts my mood so I'm really excited to see how much that changes things because my prediction is a lot.

my third non-negotiable is 10 pages of a non-fiction book every

single day I am such a reader I love my books

if you watch any of my videos I'm always talking about

what I'm reading what books I've bought what books I'd recommend

but recently I've really got out of the habit of reading non-fiction I am very much in my fiction era

which I love and there is so much value to be found in fiction books.

People who say you can't get anything from fiction books just blow my mind

because you can get so much from them but there is also

so much value in non-fiction books and for some reason I just am not getting into them.

I guess because unlike fiction books not all of them have

that instant hook so I'm not really giving the books a fair chance

and I'm being again it kind of feeds into

that attention deficit thing rather than focusing on the book

and sticking with it I'm thinking I'll read something else I'll do something else I'll do

that another time and I should really know better than that

because I have learned

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so much from non-fiction books a lot of how I live my life has come from things

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that I have read in non-fiction books

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so of course I'll still read my fiction books that's what I'm planning to do in the evenings

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when I'm not scrolling on my phone probably in the mornings

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with my cup of tea I'm going to do my 10 pages of non-fiction

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which I actually started this morning which is why I keep pointing down there

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because that's the book I was reading this morning

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and I always take a highlighter and highlight the things

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that stand out to me and I got so much just from doing

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that for half an hour this morning that I just know this is going to be a really good one.

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My fourth non-negotiable is get ready for the day within an hour of waking up.

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So that's showered, skincare, makeup,

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dressed, brush my teeth, all of the things within an hour of waking up.

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This one is so important for setting the tone for the rest of the day

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because as I said I work from home I can be

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really guilty of doing the first couple of hours of my day in my pyjamas

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but that's never good for productivity or how I feel about myself.

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I feel like maybe it's along similar lines to why people say you should make your bed

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when you first get up because it kind of sets the tone for the rest of the day.

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Definitely getting up and getting ready sets the tone for the rest of my day

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and I've also found as silly as it sounds it makes me more open to engaging with other people.

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so for example when I wake up and I put on my scruffiest clothes

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and I go out without even doing my skincare to take

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rue for a walk I find myself not really wanting to engage in conversations with people

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because I don't feel presentable I don't feel good about myself I don't feel confident whereas

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when I've made myself presentable I've done my skincare I'm feeling

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good I just feel like I'm a much more open person

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if that makes sense to anyone I do totally appreciate some of you might think that's really superficial,

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really shallow, I should be confident no matter what.

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It's less about what I look like

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and more about how I feel about myself once I've showered and done my skincare and all of that stuff.

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So that's my fourth non-negotiable.

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My fifth non-negotiable is doing eight to ten thousand steps outside every single day.

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I say eight to ten thousand

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because there is this like obsession with ten thousand steps but I actually heard some kind of doctor of some descript,

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someone very qualified anyway, say that once you reach,

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I think it's 7,000 steps,

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the additional kind of 3,000,

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there's not really kind of the benefits plateau, if that makes sense.

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So the benefits you would get from doing 7,000 steps a day versus 10,000 steps a day are pretty similar.

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So I just thought there's no point putting a hard figure on 10,000 steps

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and doing things like walking around my living room to try and get there every day,

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just somewhere between eight to 10,000 steps.

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Most importantly, outside every single day,

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because one of the goals I always,

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always have is to make sure that I'm spending a healthy portion of my day outside.

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So what I'm actually thinking for these next six weeks is

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that instead of doing one long dog walk in the middle of the day,

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I might try doing three shorter dog walks,

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because I think not only will

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that be really good for me in terms of getting me regularly up

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and out of the house but also I think it could be really good for Rue

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to break up her walks a little bit so I'm kind of thinking a walk before breakfast,

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a walk before lunch and a walk before dinner while we have the daylight hours.

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Number six is pretty self-explanatory but again it's something that I

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so often fall out of the habit of even though I know it makes the biggest difference to how I feel,

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to my digestion, to my skin, to so many things.

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So I'm going to drink two litres of water every single day

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and I have my big glass water bottle to make that possible.

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My seventh non-negotiable is to do 30 minutes of resistance-based exercise at least three times a week.

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I am not going to set myself the goal

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that I need to do that every single day

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because I just know that is not realistic

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and I also have quite an active life just in the sense

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that I do a lot of walking because I walk through

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and I really enjoy walking but I often use

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that as an excuse to myself for not needing to do other types of exercise

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and as amazing as cardio is and walking and all of

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that kind of stuff it is also really important to like properly elevate your heart rate

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and actually use your muscles and that is something full transparency that I really am so inconsistent with.

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Occasionally I will do like three,

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four classes a week and then I'll go five weeks without doing anything.

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So for the next six weeks I'm going to do some resistance exercise at least three times a week.

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Okay number eight is doing 30 minutes of tidying at the end of each day in an effort to try

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and keep on top of this house.

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I am not the best at being tidy,

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I am someone who could really learn from put something back once you've used it

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but for some reason I'm more use something leave it there worry about it later

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which is a disaster and even more of a disaster now

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that we live in a bigger house because I can close doors on things

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and just ignore them that is not a good method

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because I am also not somebody

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that thrives in a messy environment I don't think anybody is

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I think there's something really calming about having a really tidy space

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and when I know there are areas in my house that are

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so messy I find it really distracting really off-putting it makes

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me not want to go in there not want to do whatever it is

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that I need to do in

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that room especially in the kitchen it makes me not want to cook

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if I know that I need to do the washing up

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so I'm going to tackle

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that by doing 30 minutes of tidying every single evening obviously

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I'll still need to do proper deep cleans of the house like every week

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but just to kind of stay on top of things minimum 30 minutes every evening.

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Okay number nine is to spend 15 minutes every day with no external stimulation.

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So what I mean by this is no screens,

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no radio, no music, no podcasts,

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no phone calls, just nothing but my own thoughts for 15 minutes every day.

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And that might sound kind of silly,

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but it's really occurred to me recently how easy it is

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to spend an entire day without any time with just your thoughts.

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It is so easy to fill every single second with the radio on, with podcasts on.

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One habit that I have is when I go

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and take a roof for a walk I always ring my parents

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which I love and I will always speak to them every single day

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but that actually could be really valuable time to just be with my own thoughts,

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be in nature and just see kind of what thoughts come to me

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because they are often the times when I have the best like creative ideas and that sort of thing.

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Especially now if I'm splitting my walks into three,

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one of them I can listen to a podcast,

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one of them I can call my parents

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and then one of them can be time just to reflect on my own thoughts and see what comes up.

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My final daily non-negotiable is that I'm going to spend 20 minutes every day planning,

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organising, writing to-do lists and just staying on top of things mentally

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because sometimes it feels like my head is so full of little tasks

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and things that should be written down on a to-do list,

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dates I might forget and all of that kind of thing but there's no room for focusing on anything.

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So I'm really going to commit to sitting down for 20 minutes

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and my sole purpose in

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that 20 minutes is to kind of get everything that's worrying around into my head down onto paper

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so that I can wipe the slate clean

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and focus on what I need to focus on that day or the following day.

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Before I move on

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and tell you my three weekly non-negotiables I kind of wanted to add in just like a bonus thing

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that I'm really going to focus on over the next six weeks

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and that is the vibe that I'm setting in my house.

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So things like playing music,

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things like lighting candles, having podcasts on in the background and

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that sort of thing because that's something I really don't focus on

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and I saw this TikTok where a girl said

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that listening to jazz music

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while you do kind of menial tasks makes your whole life feel like a movie and I really know what she means.

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I think that music can really have a huge impact on your mood

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and then also just things like lighting candles and just setting like a really nice vibe around the house.

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I think it can have a huge impact on how you feel

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and your outlook and how positive you are so that's kind of just like a little bonus one.

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Okay so these three weekly non-negotiables I'm actually really really excited about

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because these are kind of like the fun new different things.

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So the first weekly non-negotiable is that every single week I'm going to try something totally new for me.

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So this could be something really small like cooking a new recipe for dinner

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that you've never tried or it could be something much bigger like taking a trip to somewhere that you've never been before,

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starting a new class like an art class,

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a cooking class, pottery class, something like that.

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It could be having your first therapy session or signing up to learn a new language.

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It's really just about doing something that pushes me out of my comfort zone

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and opens up opportunities because my mum always says something along the lines of

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if you continue to do what you've always done you know

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that nothing will change but if you try something new you don't know what will happen

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because she's always telling me to take a class or to go and join a reading group or something like that.

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But yeah, I'm actually really excited about that

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because it means in six weeks time I will have done six things that I've never done before,

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which is pretty cool.

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My second weekly non-negotiable is doing something for someone else.

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I would like to think that I definitely do things for other people on a weekly basis,

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but this is more about consciously going out of my way to do something purely to benefit someone else.

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So this might be I do something for Kenny

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or it might be I do something for a neighbour

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or it might be that I do something for one of you

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or it might be for a complete stranger that I meet

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while I'm out shopping or something like that but just really making a conscious effort to make a difference for someone else.

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And then the third weekly non-negotiable is one date night.

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So most of the time for me that will probably be with Kenny

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but it could also be with a friend or it could be with yourself.

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So the weeks when Kenny goes away for work I will definitely be having my little date night just with myself.

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You might want to take yourself out for dinner

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but it could just be renting a movie on Amazon

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and cooking a really nice dinner for yourself because I've heard people say

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that the secret to a happy relationship is to never stop dating them

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but I'm sure that also applies to your relationship with yourself.

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So they are all of my daily and weekly non-negotiables for the next six weeks.

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I'm honestly really excited about this,

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I'm so excited to see how I feel,

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how my life looks, how things change,

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what I achieve and all of those kind of things

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and I'm also really really really excited to hear what it does for you if you do this with me.

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The only thing I've not mentioned so far actually is with my daily non-negotiables,

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I'm not committing to seven days a week because obviously life also happens.

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And I know, for example,

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I've got weddings coming up,

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hangovers that need to be had and also maybe a Sunday lion, you know.

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My next video on this is going to be a day in my life putting all these habits into place.

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And then I will probably check in with you sort of

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every couple of weeks for the next six weeks to see how it's going,

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tell you what new things I've been trying

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and hopefully chat to you in the comments about how it's going for you as well.

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I'll probably share bits and pieces of this on TikTok

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and also over on Instagram just in terms of like the daily things

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and the new things I try and all of that.

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Yeah let me know in the comments if you're going to do this with me,

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please do it with me because I need to be held accountable,

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it's just more fun doing things together.

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Other than that thank you so much for watching,

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have a wonderful week and I will see you next Sunday.

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Bye guys!

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Thank you.

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