Shadowing Practice: How To Teach Autistic Children to Speak Naturally - Learn English Speaking with Video

In this video, you'll learn how to teach our autistic child how to speak naturally.

This is a really long conversation.

This would go on for three, four hours, and we can't even scratch the surface of this whole topic because there are so many skills,

but I just want to focus on the high level things

so that you will learn why we're doing something

and get your mindset straight so that whatever you do is not about what's the next thing to teach,

what are the skills, what are the diagnostic criteria of ASD? all these are good, but a lot of people are focusing on those,

you know, eye contact things.

We're focusing on topic maintenance, whatever, getting them to stop stimulating.

But we're not going to go symptom by symptom

and treat the symptoms because that's not the correct way to do things, right?

Without further ado, if you have like around 15 minutes, I'm going to go through this.

And if you want to learn like the tactical know-hows and stuff, we have it on agentsofspeech.com slash course you can go there

and learn about some technical skills that you can do at home

by all means those are all free for you to learn

and let's get started

so the first point is this autistic children they need a goal they need a reason to talk to you

and we've talked about this a lot inside of agents of speech

and you need to understand this language is a means to net we have something

that we want

and that's why we communicate there's a reason why you're taking

time to watch this video it's just me in my house

talking to a camera the reason why you're watching this is

because there's something some information you want to learn okay

so it's the same thing applies to autistic people

or children in general that's why therapy always starts with quote-unquote manding right

that i want fate phrases the uh give me whatever right what can i do to attain x

that kind of situation happens a lot in therapy

and that's a good starting point because

if we don't have anything a reward a screen time toys snacks whatever

that can intrigue a person it's very hard to get them to learn how to communicate

so i'm gonna say

that i know what's gonna happen a lot of people are

gonna say you don't know what you're talking about like

if children don't want to talk then don't let them talk

or whatever you know like the naturalistic way to deal with neurodivergent people

which is a name for like people who are on the

spectrum adh like for us new typical people to give in

and understand them right whilst there are some merits to

that i feel sometimes the larger picture is

that we're all in this world together

and we're teaching why we teach autistic children is

because there's there'll be one day when you the caregiver the adult the parent

whoever's teaching i'm gonna disappear from this world i'm gonna pass

away i'm gonna go i'm gonna be gone no matter how long i live the children

that i've taught before that they're not gonna have someone to advocate

and say yo listen you're not supposed to whatever there's no one to explain for them

so therefore when they're at their own devices they need to be able to take care of themselves of which language

and communication is a huge part of it there's no point

in having a child unable to communicate their needs wants

and also desires and emotions there's no part of them living there really isn't a point

because at the end of the day

if they cannot express those things people aren't going to accommodate for them all right and this might be

advocated in the western world for asians these things are like a far cry right

so let me get back to the topic right now autistic people

or children or any typical children we need to get their attention right

so a lot of parents will say how do we get

our attentions how do we get them like to focus

or whatever that's besides the point you need to have something of value

that they want right and

so like just now you saw a cat a lot of

times to get a cat to want to come to you

the reason why my cat comes to me a lot is

because she's asking for head rubs that's what she's doing right

now right she's asking for a snack she's asking for time

together that's why she enjoys my company that's why she wants to be with me

so i always say and that agents of speech will always say if you have a good relationship with your kid, you can teach the kid anything.

And this is true, not only for children on the spectrum, it's true for everyone.

Okay.

So how do we get them from all those need-based talking to speaking naturally?

The thing is this, I can speak with you naturally right now, but the the moment

that i don't know what you want from me right i don't know what you want from me

and my topic goes from like teaching autistic children to starting

to talk about my own hobbies then that's gonna have a discrepancy

and you're gonna think that i'm pretty strange because i started this topic

so how do we get there the thing is you have to have with an autistic child the same thing

that you guys enjoy together okay the problem is most people

all right i'm saying most as a general term focus on the skill sets the language goals

and they forgot to build a relationship and rapport with the kid okay

so if the autistic child likes you and is able to like sit down

and have fun with you

and i'm like i i get it i get it a

lot of parents are gonna say yeah of course i know

that they stop telling me these things yeah the goals whatever

sentence structures whatever you're trying to teach those aren't the main things

that you should be focusing on

so think about how you can build those contexts together in order for you to have something in common right

so friends or family members

that you have commonalities you guys actually have a better time together no matter

if you can like follow the type of talking pattern you know the cadence the rhythm of someone

allowing them to talk about what they like what they what they really like to do in the weekends

fosters a relationship and this doesn't go away when you're trying to teach autistic children so

the problem is inside of like therapy there are two camps

one is like um you know like anything structured anything

that we push on the child is wrong

and the other way is like i'm gonna set goals for my kid i've got like 10 to 20 goals

and i want to push those onto the kid both are not wrong there's no right

or wrong the thing is who's delivering

that thing can someone make the child understand why they're doing it right

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so let's talk enough of that

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and let's talk about some practical stuff how do we get there

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so the main thing that we should focus on is to create routines

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and also play sequences you know like something that you can do together

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that will make your relationship better so

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that you can use those activities to teach language so

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that the child can speak about it okay

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so what do we do we go from

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if your child can do i want whatever

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or like they can ask for things from you great use those to teach different things

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so it might be you can see this mr potato head

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here we've got some games here as well i'm not going to take it out

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and show you but what we need to do is can we take these games

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and we use a reward schedule let them know

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that after you play with me i will reward you with something right once your child understands

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that you're into playing it suddenly that becomes a shared experience between you two

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and you don't need to reward as much

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and you're fading out rewards right the same as you're going

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to work right in the beginning it's all about the salary

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but the more you work i don't know about you

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but most people are like as they work more

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and more they get they get friendly with colleagues they like the environment

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and then going to work becomes something from inside rather than more external all right

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so you need to set up time to not think about language goals to use the reward schedules

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and the things that you're teaching already teaching with already

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and use those to teach new activities and routines that you both can enjoy and that includes being enthusiastic That's number one,

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because if you don't like it, if you're not enjoying yourself, how do you expect other people to enjoy it?

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The second point is when you're teaching something, an activity, the rules need to be very clear.

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It's not even just tell, you have to show.

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You have to show, tell, explain, multiple times, and keep the rewards going during that time.

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You cannot just teach something and expect your child to learn.

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So whenever a parent watches some of our videos, they're like, man, I get it.

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I'm going to teach them play.

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And then they're like, they buy a toy and then they just put it on the floor.

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Your kid's not going to play.

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It's not automatic, right?

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If it's automatic, they wouldn't be on the spectrum, right?

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What's automatic to them is like to put, you know, like things in the line.

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What's automatic to them is to look at the wheel spin those are the symptoms of autism

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but the real reason behind it is because there's a lacking of play skills

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and the play is irregular right not saying it's right

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or wrong or whether you should allow it

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or not those things are fine those because

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if you teach the correct play skills those things will be replaced

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if they find the other activities more fun

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and a lot of times what we need to do is to use those stimming activities as the rewards

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for them after playing appropriately.

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When I say appropriate play skills, nowadays is a huge note in the community.

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They're saying, oh, who said that, you know, like spinning a wheel is inappropriate.

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How can you say that?

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So I have no thoughts about it.

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As long as if you can target some language with spinning wheels, then by all means that could be an activity.

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But the fact is that it's so repetitive, you can't target much.

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So that's why we have to teach

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more complex play routines and activities right

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so what do we what can we teach there's loads of stuff you can teach for instance

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if your child likes to swing you can go on a swing

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and enjoy that time together even if your child likes that

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because that play routine is under your command he's not gonna like it

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or she's not gonna she's not gonna have it

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because these routines are the things that he

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or she likes was for free was without you children on

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the spectrum are they have rules inside of the brain and they think

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dude i didn't play this with you why should i listen to you

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and play your way and this is with everyone to be very honest with you

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and not just people on the spectrum so that's why you need to incentivize

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that and show them like after you play it my way

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or you play it together which is fast it's simple the rules are very clear

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and afterwards you get rewarded there's no room forever right you teach

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that i'll maybe swing three times you get a reward

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so i cannot give you in unlimited examples

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because it goes goes case by case but i want you to have

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that in your mind as a principle take the principle of

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what i told you just now find out what your child likes think of some activities

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that have some steps involved right those steps are very simple

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and at the end of those steps you need to reward your kid right with whatever

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that is a plus grade reward right Right.

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Rinse and repeat.

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That activity needs to have a start and an end to have some steps involved, something that your child actually likes already.

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And then you need to reward with something that they really love.

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All right.

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That's how you foster a good relationship.

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And the word for it is called pairing because you're pairing those positive experiences with yourself.

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And therefore, you become the reward and you become a reinforcement.

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You become a positive experience.

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Right.

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when you have those then finally you can teach some language right those natural language will come out

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because you are such a giver your child will think oh

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if i follow you i will get what i want

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and more and i will have fun

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so that's why i'm gonna listen to you

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when you say something i'm gonna try to repeat it because

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when you say something you don't expect the kid to talk

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right but because there's an expectation

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and then he can already anticipate what's going to happen in the next step

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because you've done it

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so many times let's say it's like just one of these toys here that's single

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or whatever they know they're going to grab the next card

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when you give the word to the correct context then the link will come

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and don't get me wrong children on the spectrum are very

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good with making links with a word to a real word object

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or event or concept so when you have a very strong routine

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and the child can anticipate the next step

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when you say the word it's going to click right and

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if it does click and when you say something

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and your child replies then it's very easy to exaggerate

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or give them more of the activity

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and have a positive response then your child who is on

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a spectrum is going to think oh she is praising me for this for repeating

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and that's why i should say more of it the biggest problem

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when you hear a child say something you have to praise

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and go wow you're not the person who he cares

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or she cares for praise from you know what i'm saying what happens is like parents go into a therapy

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or teacher voice.

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Teacher's a word.

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Maybe he hears a word somewhere from a kid and goes, wow, that's so good.

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And then you can hear that fake voice going up and down.

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It's very loud.

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For some children, they don't like it.

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And parents don't even know that they're actually annoying the heck out of the kid.

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So don't get me wrong on this, right?

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Those things are correct, but you have to have the correct context

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and who you are to the kid needs to make sense

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if you're a person who plays

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and you're very generous with the rewards they're used to taking

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commands from you they're used to listening to you they're used to having fun with you then

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when you praise it's a lot more effective that's why you

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need to change who you are to the kid that's how you get your child to speak naturally with you

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and this is not even just for autistic people

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it's about how you operate as a teacher to a child

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because a lot of times a different person

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when they say something an important person in child's life says

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one word it beats everyone else who says multiple like they

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keep on convincing come on blah blah one person who the

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child trust that's game over like the child's gonna listen to

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that guy so you need to be that person because

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that therapist or

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that teacher who your child trusts will not go home with

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you that's the end of the story that's why you have to change okay

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so long story short how to get a child on the spectrum to speak naturally is

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that you need to become a better

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or a different person to your child someone who will give

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give give give give give give keep on giving right second of all is that

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you already have a very structured approach to teaching new activities to your kid, right?

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Third of all is that you have a common context, a common activity that you guys both like, and you guys have the same topic to talk to each other about.

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And then also is that your child can anticipate what's going to happen in the world, then it's a lot easier to teach language, all right?

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And that's pretty much it.

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If you can do that, if you can teach activities and routines

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with a reward you can get rid of rewards then throw it outside of the house don't care about it

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right a lot of the parents who we coach inside of

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agents of speech we don't use rewards anymore we really don't

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we're just like ah that's good job right that's good just the praise is good enough

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so you need to get there so a lot of

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that stuff on the internet is saying oh rewards are bad

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you shouldn't withhold things from the kid those are kind of true

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but you need to start there and then slowly get to a point where

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because your child can be under your instructional command then you can go there

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so let me give you an example

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and i don't mean it in a bad way at all okay

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so if you have a pet you have a dog you have a cat you bring them outside

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and you don't leash

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that animal right what's going to happen they're going to run around it's going to be a nightmare to teach

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but what if you're you have a leash

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and you have also have treats a lot easier

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so you see a lot of people who are like have

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dogs unleashed they're tame they listen they have a clicker instead

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of using a a reward a treat they didn't start day one like

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that so it's the same as your relationship with your child the relationship with

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that pet and the owner has become so good

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that it's like you don't need anything external and i don't mean

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that you're the owner of your child i don't mean that

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it's a totally different relationship but you need to get there somehow all right

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so that's all for this video thank you for tuning in

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and spending some time with me i've been rambling i know

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but if you haven't please go to agentsofspeech.com slash course to get all the free courses

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that will teach your child from single words all the way

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from no words in fact all the way to combining words into sentences all right

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so that's it for today's video and i'll see you later bye

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing Practice: How To Teach Autistic Children to Speak Naturally - Learn English Speaking with Video

Why practice speaking with this video?

Grammar & Expressions in Context

Common Pronunciation Traps

What is the Shadowing Technique?