Shadowing Practice: I stopped outsourcing my life to other people’s opinions. - Learn English Speaking with Video

You're just scrolling one day and you see a girl with thick, lush hair using some miracle serum.

And you think to yourself, maybe I should get some to fix my hair.

Then you start seeing this hair oil across every app and everyone seems to be recommending it too.

Days go by and you're just running your errands and you see that exact hair oil.

And you think, how lucky did I get?

This is exactly what I needed.

And you might just brush this off as some lucky coincidence, but what if it isn't?

What if you would have never even known about this hair oil, but the decision was placed in front of you?

And this really isn't about some hair oil.

I think we've all experienced that moment where we're talking about something with our friends

and then we start seeing it everywhere on our feeds.

And when that happens, we don't just notice it, we start to consider it.

And the thing is, we assume that we're following honest suggestions from our peers, but we might be following what's been curated for us.

The algorithm studies what we watch, what we pause on, what we linger on just a little longer, and it's guiding us on what we see,

what we want, where to go, and what we buy.

And maybe, the reviews are there to just validate it all.

At some point, I had to ask myself, am I really making my own decisions at this point

or falling into the trap of the algorithm that's already decided everything for me?

My husband and I went to this beautiful restaurant the other day.

It had amazing ratings on Google and also the photos looked amazing.

So we were very surprised when the whole experience just turned out to be very disappointing.

I don't know if this has happened to you guys, but for us, I feel like it's such a common experience nowadays.

So much that I've been kind of asking myself, why do I even check reviews anymore?

Because if it has really good ratings, then I might have really high expectations and I might be disappointed at the end of it.

Or if it has really bad ratings, then of course, I'm just going to be biased from the get-go.

And obviously, it's been helpful at times.

It has saved me from making some pretty bad purchases, but I feel like if we rely on it for every little thing in our lives,

it actually gets in the way of trusting our own judgment.

So I've been just trying to kind of step back from all of it, the algorithm, the reviews, the constant suggestions of things,

and it's been very freeing.

So if all of this is very relatable to you, I hope that I can convince you to do the same.

This is how I think about intentional living.

Instead of just letting life happen to us, we have to get clear about what we want and consciously shape our lives.

The algorithm is just so good now.

I feel like it knows that I'm learning Portuguese.

It knows I'm renovating my house.

I get targeted for ads that are very specific to me.

And I feel like if I don't have a clear sense of what I need, what I want, then I would be very tempted to click and go down the rabbit hole.

And of course, those interests are very important to me

but i just don't need another portuguese course to get better in my portuguese

or another book that's just gonna wait for me until i finish the one

that i'm currently reading i feel like digital reset is like an ongoing thing nowadays

and i definitely unsubscribe from aggressive marketing emails i still feel like nothing is as powerful

as knowing deep down that I'm good, that I don't need what I don't need.

This really takes a bit of perspective to see our current lives and see how abundant it already is, not because of all the stuff,

but because of the love and blessings that's already in our everyday.

If we only go to the five-star restaurants, watch the best-rated movies on IMBD, shop the most popular brands, and read the books that everyone's raving about?

Are we really living our own lives?

We're just going through the motion to check another box on our to-do list.

We recently took a little road trip to Spain

and I was very intentional about not looking at reviews before we went into a restaurant or did any activities.

And it was so nice to be just spontaneous.

I noticed that I was asking myself different questions like, do I like this?

What do I prefer?

Instead of kind of rushing to get the experience over with so that I could compare my opinion with everyone else's.

We need to start trusting our own intuitions again and the only way to do that is to go inward.

I've been practicing with mindful apps like Headspace who is kindly sponsoring today's video.

Headspace is an everyday guide to mental well-being.

Using just even five minutes a day can support your mental health, reduce stress, and start creating real, lasting change.

At the end of my yoga sessions, I put on the one-minute expand and release breath guide.

The simple visuals on the screen really help me to not get distracted and just focus on my breath.

In the evenings, I've also been using the five-minute wind-down meditation.

Truly, the best feature on this app is being able to choose the meditation guide whose voice I can truly connect with.

When you're ready, let's begin.

So this is a visualization meditation that shifts my focus away from everything

that happened in my day and all that I have to do tomorrow so I can truly relax, get a deeper and more restful sleep.

I actually don't think I finished the whole meditation because I drift off about halfway through, which tells me that it really puts my mind and body at ease.

If you want to build better sleep and stronger mental health into your routine, you can try Headspace entirely free for 60 days by using my link in the description box

or scan the QR code on the screen.

It's two full months of free access compared to their standard two-week trial.

Thank you to Headspace for sponsoring today's video.

I think we're so used to seeing these picture-perfect lives on social media, where even the difficult conversations are rehearsed and vacations are always sunny,

and we almost expect our lives to be the same.

But of course, reality is not going to live up to those standards.

And I say people on social media, but honestly, I do the same.

I feel like I share a lot of beautiful images of Portugal.

But in my day-to-day, as someone who is very limited,

still in my Portuguese, I go through a lot of embarrassing and awkward moments that I did not share on social media.

And I used to think about those moments, you know, when I'm by myself and I'm just kind of replaying these moments in my head.

And I was like, why am I doing that?

Isn't whole point of moving to a foreign country to experience everything the good the bad

and the awkward and the embarrassing moments

and letting go of the need to always have a good

experience i really want to be grateful for the experience itself whether it is good

or bad and i notice that when we shift that perspective

and we think the experience itself is the goal then we start becoming really curious and less judgmental.

My mom always tells me the best product that you can buy will always come out tomorrow.

I feel like if we just keep chasing the newest

and the latest and the best whatever it is then it's always going to be a losing game

and honestly it is just mentally draining to kind of research and look through all the different reviews,

the best sellers on different page

and have a 1 million tabs open on all devices trying to look for the best option.

For example, I have a ninja blender and I am sure that the Vitamix is so much better,

but is that difference really going to change my life?

And sometimes just committing and using what we already have just brings us

so much more peace than wanting and waiting for the next best thing.

One of the best meals

that I've ever had was on the side of the road in Thailand in a small town

that I don't even remember the name of.

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Nothing was open except there was a lady on the side of the road with a spatula.

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So we went up to her and we just kind of pointed at our bellies and we were like, we're hungry.

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And she just kind of disappeared and proceeded to make us the best fried rice of my life.

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And I feel like it's so rare nowadays to have those moments.

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And I think one of the reasons why it feels that way is because we pre-plan everything.

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And I feel like that constantly makes us live in the future.

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So nothing ever really sticks in our memory.

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It makes no sense to pre-plan our entire lives just to go through the motions of what we have planned.

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And also, being chronically online will make us worry about things, planting new fears, then providing us a solution for it.

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I wish that we could just embrace a bit of uncertainty in our own lives.

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In fact, those are some of the most unforgettable moments.

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so my phone is pretty old i've had this for a couple of years now

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and with every software upgrade i feel like the camera is downgrading

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if that makes sense so i was like maybe it's time for a new phone

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but then i was like why would i do that you know

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because if i get a new phone i am probably going to spend more time on it

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and that's like the opposite of what i want to do so i've been training myself to do the opposite.

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Not only am I saving money by not buying a new phone, but I just really want to get rid of that feeling of anxiety of not having my phone all the time.

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We all know there's a correlation between being constantly online and comparing ourselves,

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feeling insecure, feeling anxious, and feeling like we're not good enough.

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And of course, I don't want to go through life feeling that way.

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And also, I just don't want my whole life to just passed me by while I'm living through my screens.

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I'm 5'7 and a half, size 25, 26, 27 in jeans, small, medium, and large.

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Sometimes I have oily skin, sometimes just irritated, and always inconsistent eyebrows.

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I think I have both warm and cool undertone, one million hobbies and interests and it all depends on my mood that week.

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And that's because I'm human.

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Not a profile for some marketing company to put me in a box, not a script that AI can imitate, and never have I ever wanted to embrace it more.

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So this is a reminder to myself and to you to stay open,

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to grow, change, transform, go with the flow, get things wrong sometimes, and leave enough space to breathe.

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Let's not take on fears that are not our own and just trust ourselves.

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All that we need is within us.

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Thank you again to Headspace for sponsoring this video.

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Don't forget to check out the description box

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and scan the QR code on the screen for two full months of free access.

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Talk to you guys soon.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing Practice: I stopped outsourcing my life to other people’s opinions. - Learn English Speaking with Video

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What is the Shadowing Technique?