Shadowing Practice: Stress Resets, the Ultimate Mental Health Hack | Jenny Taitz | TED - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
C1
Shadowing Controls
0% completed (0/115 sentences)
Let me invite you into my house.
⏸ Paused
Speed:
Repeat Count:
Wait Mode:
Sub Sync:0ms
All Sentences
115 sentences
1
Let me invite you into my house.
2
It probably looks a little like yours.
3
So one morning, rushing to feed our crying toddler, my husband Adam drops a gallon of milk.
4
He is so mad, he starts aggressively cleaning and cuts his hand under the fridge.
5
He's bleeding, hates blood, and we're out of bandages.
6
So he drives to the pharmacy.
7
On his way home, He rear-ends an Uber.
8
All before breakfast.
9
That's stress.
10
It’s a little hilarious but mostly heartbreaking.
11
When what we're facing feels like too much, spilled milk becomes a flood, a headache at work spills into heartache at home.
12
Stress doesn't just happen.
13
It's something we easily co-create, then spread like the flu.
14
But here's the good news.
15
If you can create stress, you can also learn to reset it in minutes.
16
No long meditations, medications or martinis required.
17
Just shifts in your mind, body and behavior.
18
I call these pivots stress resets, and I love them so much, I wrote a book highlighting 75 of my favorites.
19
We will cover them all -- I wish.
20
As a clinical psychologist, I've taught thousands of people how to ease intense emotions in crises, helping clients transform from wanting to die to building lives they cherish.
21
And I rely on these tools myself, whether I'm trying to get my three young kids to bed, a live-action version of Whac-A-Mole, or when I'm struggling to find the words to write a eulogy hours after losing one of my closest friends.
22
Of course, stressing over spilled milk isn't worrying that AI will hijack your career or facing a cancer diagnosis.
23
A reset won't turn awful into awesome, but it will let you ditch hopelessness and bring the best of you forward, sparking that priceless feeling of knowing you can count on yourself.
24
The secret?
25
Practicing stress resets in ordinary moments allows you to reach for them when life feels unbearable.
26
You might be wondering: Can you even feel better if your challenges aren’t disappearing?
27
Absolutely.
28
Stress is less about what you're facing and more about believing you can cope.
29
This isn't positivity.
30
This is regulating your nervous system, framing stress as an opportunity for growth and accepting sensations, even knots in your stomach, lowers cortisol and allows you to persevere.
31
What moves me most is research finds even refugees and asylum seekers grappling with being forcibly displaced can improve their mental health by learning strategies similar to ones we'll cover.
32
If peace of mind is possible in political limbo, it's definitely possible in your daily hustle.
33
Yet we create fender benders.
34
Short on money, we shop online.
35
Big deadline, we bounce between procrastination and perfectionism.
36
Tired and lonely, we scroll at midnight.
37
Why? Because when emotions spike, clarity vanishes.
38
We want relief now, so we turn to habits that hurt or reach for substances like alcohol, cannabis or Xanax that shrink our ability to think when we deserve to be our sharpest.
39
To bypass suffering, normalize your feelings.
40
No matter how hard things seem, emotions and urges are waves.
41
They'll pass without you escaping in ways that undermine you.
42
You know if you scroll TikTok, you can tear up, then smile within seconds.
43
The problem isn't feeling, it's ruminating.
44
Taking a two-minute interaction and replaying it for days, turning stress into a chronic problem.
45
Ruminating was my specialty before I learned to reset.
46
And you can too, with three stress resets to reclaim your resilience.
47
One: learn to play with your thoughts.
48
Let's say you just experienced rejection.
49
That's disappointing enough.
50
Then your mind has the nerve to send the emotional equivalent of spam, "You're gonna die alone." (Laughter) Almost everyone has repetitive negative thoughts, and life is too precious to take all the 6,000 thoughts we have a day, literally.
51
So rather than letting your spam sap your brainpower, try seeing it like you'd see blimps in the sky or singing it to your favorite upbeat tune.
52
It sounds silly, but when you play with your unhelpful thoughts, you loosen their grip.
53
If you want to be more all encompassing, do you remember that song, "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me." Can we all please join together at the count of three, singing "What are thoughts? Thoughts can't hurt me." OK.
54
(Singing) What are our thoughts?
55
Thoughts can't hurt me.
56
Thank you, that was amazing.
57
(Laughter) Even if you don't actually sing, changing your relationship with your insulting inner soundtrack and replacing dead ends with next steps will let you live more harmoniously.
58
Good luck ruminating while you're singing, right?
59
Two: try a half-smile.
60
Dialectical behavior therapists prescribe subtly smiling even when you don't actually feel happy.
61
See, your face doesn't just reflect how you feel.
62
It shapes your emotional experience.
63
Research shows that Botox that prevents scowling improves mood.
64
(Laughter) No need to freeze your forehead.
65
Half-smiling is your free and natural version.
66
Try being miserable or battling road rage with a resting Buddha face.
67
(Laughter) Seriously, it primes you to accept whatever is, preventing you from adding a tension headache to everything else you're carrying.
68
To be clear, this is not about faking happiness when you're legitimately upset.
69
It's about letting your physiology boost your bandwidth.
70
Plus, it can help foster connections with others, especially if your face otherwise looks like a big Do Not Disturb sign.
71
(Laughter) Let's give half smiling a try.
72
Anybody feeling more serene?
73
Now turn to the person next to you, and give them a little smile.
74
You guys have such nice half smiles.
75
How does that feel?
76
(Laughter) Your body is a walking pharmacy if you know how to use it.
77
Three: act opposite to how you feel.
78
Notice how when you’re anxious, you avoid.
79
When you’re depressed, you lay low.
80
When you’re angry, you yell?
81
Acting exactly the way you feel when you’re totally overwhelmed amplifies negativity and piles on guilt and shame.
82
If you want to upgrade your mood, and how you live your life, the third tool is to notice your emotion-driven urge; ask yourself if acting on it is ultimately helpful.
83
If not, do the opposite.
84
So if you're grumpy and want to send a hostile text, how about either sending a nice one to someone who needs it or stowing your phone?
85
Anybody procrastinate, you've got pressing to-dos yet suddenly it's time to empty your inbox?
86
That’s pseudo-productivity or procrastivity.
87
The opposite action, lovingly bringing your full attention to the task that matters most, again and again.
88
Opposite action isn't superficial.
89
It changes the way you see yourself.
90
What's the ultimate mental health hack?
91
Regularly practicing opposite action.
92
It improves depression and anxiety in weeks.
93
If stress tries to convince you opposite action is impossible action, or insists that you're just not the karaoke type, keep a Hope Kit, a collection of items that elevates your mood within reach.
94
It can have anything in it that propels you forward.
95
These are shown to generate real hope.
96
This is mine.
97
As you can see, it has pictures of my grandparents holding me as a little girl, cards from clients, a playlist with some dance-worthy Drake music and a note to myself to always be a light.
98
What belongs in yours?
99
After savoring these reminders, consider: hope isn’t just a feeling, it’s a behavior you spread, touching the lives of the people you love and anyone you encounter.
100
Stress doesn’t have to scar you, and you don't have to spill it onto others.
101
Spilled milk or something stickier, stress isn't what happens.
102
It's what you do next.
103
Creating perspective, finding calm within you and doing what matters will reset your stress, your life, and maybe the world.
104
Thank you. (Applause) Joey Katona: How's my half smile?
105
JT: So beautiful.
106
(Laughter) JK: Jenny, if stress is something that we co-create, as you say, what's just one behavior that you would urge us all to stop doing tomorrow so that we stop passing it on?
107
Jenny Taitz: I love this, and I love acronyms.
108
So one of my favorite acronyms is STOP.
109
Slow down. Take a step back. Observe. And proceed mindfully.
110
We can create so much damage if we're going 100 miles an hour, but so much less if we're going five miles an hour.
111
When our emotional mind is on fire, it's so hard to think clearly.
112
But we're so good at getting better with the right tools, and STOP is like a quick one.
113
Like nothing happens if you slow things down, less happens.
114
JK: Another round of applause for Dr. Jenny Taitz.
115
(Applause)
4.9/5 on App Store & Google Play
Shadowing English
On Mobile
Learn English anytime, anywhere with the Shadowing English app. Improve your communication skills today!
Track your learning progress
AI grading and error correction
Rich video library
Context & Background
In her enlightening TED talk, Jenny Taitz delves into the universal experience of stress, using relatable anecdotes to illustrate how even mundane events can spiral into overwhelming emotions. She highlights the importance of "stress resets," techniques designed to help individuals regain their composure and perspective during challenging times. Drawing on her expertise as a clinical psychologist, Taitz emphasizes that while we cannot always control our circumstances, we can learn to manage our responses to them. This empowering message offers valuable insights for anyone seeking to enhance their English communication skills, particularly in high-stress scenarios.
Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication
- “Spilled milk becomes a flood.” - This metaphor conveys how minor irritations can escalate in our minds.
- “Stress doesn’t just happen.” - A reminder that we often unwittingly create our own stress.
- “Normalize your feelings.” - Encouragement to accept emotional experiences instead of escaping them.
- “Emotions and urges are waves.” - This phrase illustrates the transient nature of feelings and how they will pass.
- “Life is too precious to take all the thoughts literally.” - A call to recognize the negative self-talk we may encounter.
Step-by-step Shadowing Guide
To effectively use the shadowing technique with Jenny Taitz's talk, follow these steps to enhance your English fluency:
- Listen Actively: Watch the video attentively and note the emotions conveyed by the speaker. Identify moments of stress and calm as this will help you absorb the spoken rhythm.
- Break It Down: Segment the transcript into smaller phrases (consider using the highlighted phrases above) that resonate with you. This makes it easier to tackle repetition without feeling overwhelmed.
- Repeat and Imitate: Use the shadow speak method by mimicking Taitz’s intonation, pacing, and stress. This practice enhances pronunciation and fluency.
- Reflect on Meaning: After each segment you practice, pause to consider the underlying message. Discuss these thoughts aloud in English, which helps to reinforce your learning.
- Practice Regularly: Incorporate this exercise into your daily routine, gradually increasing the complexity of the material as you grow more comfortable with the language.
By implementing these steps, you'll not only improve your English speaking skills but also foster a deeper understanding of how to communicate under pressure. Embrace the shadowing technique to learn English with YouTube effectively, transforming your approach to both language and stress management.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
☕ Buy us a coffee
ShadowingEnglish remains 100% free thanks to your support. Server and AI costs are high — your coffee keeps us going! 🙏