Shadowing Practice: The Joy of Self Denial (A Guide to Asceticism) - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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My life is a bit different from the rest of the world. I do not have sex and I don’t look at pornography. I don’t have a bank account and I get $200 to spend each month, but I rarely use it all. I wear the same tattered clothes every day, whether it’s raining, snowing, or sweltering. I take cold showers, fast twice a week, work with the homeless, and spend hours at a time in complete silence. In general, I go out of my way to make my life uncomfortable… and I am probably the happiest, most fulfilled person…
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My life is a bit different from the rest of the world. I do not have sex and I don’t look at pornography. I don’t have a bank account and I get $200 to spend each month, but I rarely use it all. I wear the same tattered clothes every day, whether it’s raining, snowing, or sweltering. I take cold showers, fast twice a week, work with the homeless, and spend hours at a time in complete silence. In general, I go out of my way to make my life uncomfortable… and I am probably the happiest, most fulfilled person you will ever meet.
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Not despite these things. Because of them.
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Our world is all about getting more. It’s about chasing and owning and indulging whatever our desires dictate. The best life, we’re told, is one with unlimited hookups with beautiful people, cash to spend, popping bottles.
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Even if we’re not trying to live like a rockstar, what I think drives nearly everyone in our world is a need for safety, and comfort, and predictability—just being able to go on nice vacations with friends and provide for our kids without worry. We want to be control to do what we want.
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My question to you is… how’s that working out?
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For the person indulging in every impulse, has that brought you happiness, like real happiness?
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For the person living a comfortable suburban life, has owning the latest gadget, living in a nice house, making decent money—brought your life meaning, like true meaning?
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By the looks of our world, my guess is no. Never before have people been so unhappy. Year after year depression numbers skyrocket, anxiety is on the rise. So many live in a malaise of boredom and dissatisfaction, wondering how they got there and what they can do to feel something again.
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I can say that I lived “in the world” for quite a while. I enjoyed what it had to offer. I sought the thrills, I indulged in the immediate gratifications. I didn’t try everything there was to try, but I had my fair share of pleasure and excess, of comfort and control… And it was always great while I was experiencing it, don’t get me wrong. There are some fun things in this world. If you want to feel good, there is something for everyone out there.
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But for how long? What I found is that the more I indulged, the more I needed… and the less I felt.
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Until I left that life behind. Until I stopped trying to get more. Until I decided to live a penitential life—letting go, giving up, denying myself earthly pleasures, to live a life that is grounded, disciplined, hopeful, and most of all fulfilling.
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I think one of the misconceptions of a life like this is that we’re people who like pain, that we do these difficult tasks as ends in themselves because we hate joy, or something like that. The reality is that everything we do is a means to an end, a means of curtailing our desires, of controlling our impulses, of becoming people who live like Jesus did and enjoy it.
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The irony of our lives is that we deny so many of earth’s pleasures because what we really want is freedom—freedom to be in control of our own passions rather than always falling into temptation. It’s about disciplining our minds, our hearts, our bodies, and our attention spans so that we live the way we want rather than at the whims of the world.
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At the heart of it all is the recognition that left to our own devices, we are prone to sin, prone to deny God, and we don’t want that. We want to direct every aspect of our lives to the source of life, Jesus Christ.
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Which means that we pray. And not just a quick prayer before bed or the occasional plea in times of need. Five times a day, no matter the circumstances, we take a brief moment to stop whatever we’re doing and pray a section of the psalms. Either together or in private, we ground ourselves in the presence of God, reminding us, even for just a moment, that we can put the world on hold to be with Jesus.
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In addition to this, silent meditation is a must. Some pray for blocks of 15 minutes, others for a half hour… I prefer the holy hour—an entire hour of silence. Turn off the phone, cut off the distractions, let everything else go.. and just be.
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Sometimes I read spiritual books and meditate on my life. Sometimes I have a conversation with God. Sometimes I sit in silence and let God embrace me, telling me it’s going to be okay.
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Much of the time it is a beautiful break in the day, a time to relax and unwind, but sometimes it’s work. Sometimes I have a billion other things to do and the last thing I want to do is “do nothing.” But of course, it’s not nothing. It’s the most something thing I could do, a connection with the source of life himself, the one who tells me who I am and where I should go.
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Without this time, dedicated as a priority, everything else falls apart. How quickly my life becomes about me, when what I really want is to be about him.
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Which is very easy to say, much harder to do. As our scriptures say, “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak,” and I know that my flesh is weak. As much as I say that I want to do only what is good, my body still calls out for things that do not fulfill.
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I’m talking unhealthy foods, yes, but I’m also talking lust, drunkenness, laziness, self-indulgence of every kind. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a friar for 13 years, those passions are alive in us.
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And so, I try to curb those passions. I put limits on my body. I whip it into shape to strengthen my will and to remind me that I can resist temptation.
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A big part of this is fasting. Twice a week I go meatless and eat sparse meals—enough to be sustained but nothing else. No snacks, no desserts, often just a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and simple dinner. I also try, on those days, to limit screen time to only essential things and cut out all media—TV, music, movies—enter the silence a bit more.
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Cold showers are one of those things that really aren’t that bad, we’re just addicted to having supreme comfort in every instant. The same with this brown robe, called a habit, and these sandals. They’re uncomfortable, they take a bit getting used to, but you’re going to be okay.
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And the money? You really don’t need that much. The moment I realized that I would never have the latest phone, the ability to go out whenever I wanted, was the moment I realized how little those things actually bring happiness. What a freedom it is to be content with what you have.
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What do these two things get you? Where does humility and self-mastery lead? One would hope to a life of goodness in the world.
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Free from the grips of lust, I can enter into relationships without worry of sexual tension or objectification.
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Without a need to be in control, I can serve at the will of others and make friends with anyone.
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No longer driven by ambition, I can spend my whole day with a homeless person, a student struggling with self-esteem, an elderly lady who’s just lonely, and not feel that my day has been wasted. This is what the Lord asked of me today, and so this is what I am able to provide.
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Does this mean that I’m perfect now, that I never give into temptation? Of course not.
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The reason I do them is precisely because I am still a sinner in need of conversion.
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Do I rigorously follow each of these things without any breaks?
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Hardly. During Easter and Christmas, times of celebration, I never fast; once a week I get a day off from work, and I’ll often have a beer or two and have some fun; the showers don’t have to be ice cold in the winter, just enough to create discomfort, and I take a vacation each year. Even the ascetic life needs moderation.
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Because, again, the purpose is not to cause pain or to master acts of self-denial in themselves, it is to facilitate conversion to God. What I want more than anything else… is for my life is to be so dedicated to the will of God that what I WANT is to be of service. What I WANT is to help others. What I WANT is to make sacrifices so that the world may be a better place for the people I meet.
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As St. Francis of Assisi said in regards to his own conversion and life of penance, “What was bitter has become sweet.” When he was in the world, there was much that he hated, much that revolted him. But now, having found the discipline of the Gospel, those very things brought him joy.
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This is what I think a penitential life could offer you. At first, things like prayer, fasting, and service may seem boring, even dreadful. You turn from them because they provide no joy. Like someone eating broccoli for the first time after eating nothing candy, there is no appeal to it at all.
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But that’s not because these things are bad… it’s because you’ve become so accustomed to the sugar of the world that you don’t even know what will bring you real goodness. With practice, with discipline, with a whole lot of self-denial and building new habits, you will ultimately find that these things bring you joy, and that there is no joy in the world that will ever match them.
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So where do you start? Should you sell all your things and become a friar? Maybe. But maybe start small. Maybe begin by finding one thing in each of these categories and building from there.
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Can you dedicate 15 minutes each day to uninterrupted meditation? Maybe choose one day a week that you deny yourself a pleasure you’re used to. Find a place to volunteer your time or donate your money that takes you out of your comfort zone.
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Do something, anything, that isn’t about getting more, but is about letting go. Of your comfort, your will, your control, your need to be always be seeking the next pleasure. Do this, and then add to it, and add to it, and add to it, until you find that your life is less about you and more about God… and trust me: your life won’t be stuck anymore.
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About This Lesson
In this lesson, we will explore the concept of asceticism and the joy of self-denial as presented in the video "The Joy of Self Denial (A Guide to Asceticism)." Learners will engage in deep listening to enhance their English speaking practice, focusing on understanding the speaker's insights about the relationship between self-control, discipline, and happiness. By practicing the shadowing technique, students will mimic the speaker’s tone and pace, aiming to improve their pronunciation and fluency in English. This exercise will not only build vocabulary but also enhance comprehension of complex ideas.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Asceticism - a lifestyle characterized by abstinence from worldly pleasures.
- Self-denial - resisting immediate gratification to achieve deeper fulfillment.
- Fulfillment - a feeling of satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities.
- Discipline - the practice of training oneself to follow a code of behavior.
- Temptation - a desire to engage in a short-lived pleasure, often against one's better judgment.
- Mindfulness - the quality of being aware and present in the moment.
- Service - the act of helping or doing work for others.
- Conversion - a profound change in beliefs or practice.
Practice Tips
To effectively utilize the shadowing technique, focus on the following tips when working with the video:
- Listen Carefully: Pay attention to the speaker’s tone, rhythm, and intonation. This will help you grasp the nuances of their speech, which is especially important for complex topics.
- Start Slow: Initially, watch segments at a reduced playback speed. This allows you to catch every word and phrase without feeling overwhelmed.
- Repeat Aloud: After listening to a segment, pause the video and repeat what you've heard. This practice will enhance your English speaking and improve retention.
- Focus on Key Vocabulary: Integrate the key phrases and vocabulary from the lesson into your own sentences. This will help you become more comfortable using them in conversation.
- Record Yourself: After practicing, record your own voice to compare with the original. This feedback will be invaluable for improving your fluency and pronunciation.
- Create a Routine: Incorporate this shadowing practice into your daily study schedule. Regular English speaking practice will lead to noticeable improvements over time.
By applying these techniques while engaging with the content, learners will enrich their English language skills significantly, paving the way for improved performance in formal settings like IELTS speaking practice or everyday conversations.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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