Shadowing Practice: When You Just Ain’t Got it All Together - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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Morning.
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Morning.
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Dwayne here, Dry Creek Wrangler School.
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Let me ask you a question.
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At what age should you have it all together?
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At what age should you have it all figured out?
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I get a lot of mostly young men on the channel, and they're from 17 to 35, 36, 39,
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and they lament that they're at a place in their life and they don't have it figured out, and they don't have it all together.
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and they wonder what's wrong with them because they don't have it figured out.
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They don't have it all together.
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Of course you don't have it all together.
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You're not supposed to have it all together.
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You're not expected to have it all together.
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Anybody looks at you at 26, 27, 28 years old and says, hey man, what's wrong with you?
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How come you don't have everything figured out?
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They're a fool.
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Knowledge and experience and wisdom takes time.
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Wisdom comes from experience, and experience takes time.
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The more experience you have, the more you learn from that experience, the wiser you can get.
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If you haven't lived long enough to have a broad enough portfolio of experience, then you can't expect to have knowledge and wisdom.
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We are told by society today, and it's inferred by movies and television programs,
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that by the time you're 26 or 27, you should be graduated from college, you should have a degree, you should have a good job, you should have a wife, and you should have it together.
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We watch these programs, and this movie, it's an hour and a half long, And within an hour and a half, a person goes from a goofed up teenager to someone who's just settled and got it all going on.
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And they get the job.
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They put their childhood bully in his place.
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They get the girl.
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Fade to black.
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And we're left to imagine the rest of their life.
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And what we imagine is left with the last thing that we see.
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Man, they got it together.
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Of course, we don't consider the fact that if you turn the TV off and watch the news, you'll see those same actors show up in the news again and again making stupid mistakes and they ain't got it together.
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A pine tree grows and matures very fast.
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An oak tree grows and matures very, very slow.
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But which one lasts longer?
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And which one is stronger?
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Which one shelters more critters and more birds?
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Which one, when it's done and over and it's cut down, which one is more valuable for the lumber?
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People don't go out and say, I'm gonna spend extra money for some pine furniture.
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They want oak furniture.
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Um, there's a lot of sentiment expressed on the channel.
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Um, boy, Duane, I sure wish, I wished you'd have been my dad.
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No, you don't.
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Um, no, you don't.
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Um, there's sentiments expressed on there, expressed on there, um, that, you know, I'm flattered.
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I'm flattered, but I know better.
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I don't take it serious.
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Nobody bursts from their mother's womb ready for the world.
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Nobody bursts from their mother's womb aged and mature and wise.
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And I'm not wise.
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I'm not saying I'm wise.
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I just say that happened.
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That's why that happened.
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So man, maybe we ought not do that.
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I don't know.
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To me, that's a kind of a, a shallow, easy definition of wisdom,
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but I I'm 55 years old and I'm just now starting to get a little bit figured out.
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there's a a song that ian tyson sings and if you like cowboy music and you're not familiar with ian tyson you
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ought to look him up but he's got a song called the old double diamond and it's about an old cowboy
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that the ranch he's worked on for years is getting sold and there's a a uh and he He says on there,
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he said, when I first hired on to the old double diamond, I was a darn poor excuse for a man.
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Yeah.
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Mama's laughing back there.
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I edited that for you.
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It says, I never learned how to aim when the spirit was tame.
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I couldn't see all the cards in my hand.
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Well, son, a lot of what your difficulty is right now is you have not yet learned how to aim.
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while the spirit is tame and you can't see all the cards in your hand it's not saying the cards aren't there
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it's just you haven't matured enough to see them and there will come a time you keep going and you keep learning and you
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keep growing uh that one day you'll look down and the card you needed was there and it's been there all along but that ain't gonna come for a while
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and my encouragement to you is stop being so hard on yourself you know one of the
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things i have um encouraged my wife in for years and she's a
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very natural mother all right and she has a natural tendency to take
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care of people and to worry about stuff and i've had to tell her over the years, look, that's not your burden to carry.
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That's not your burden to carry.
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You have enough burdens at your young age that are rightfully yours for you
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to worry about carrying that you don't need to worry about carrying the burdens that are going to come when you're 50 or 55 or 60.
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You can't even begin to think about having things figured out and having it together until you're in your 50s.
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Just don't even worry about it.
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Just don't even worry about it.
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You've got to have maturity.
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And maturity comes with time.
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And maturity is not something that you can gin up artificially.
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is not something that you can be responsible for, for not being ginned up artificially.
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You don't even know what I have to do.
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You have to live.
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You just have to live.
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You just have to live.
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You just have to act your age.
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If you're 26, be 26.
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Stop trying to be 56.
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It's not expected, and it's a burden that you don't have to carry.
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You're a young couple, and you're going through some things, and you're like, man, we must be the worst couple in the world.
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We must be the worst um
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married folks out there this has got to be man we just ain't got it of course you ain't got it figured out when you hit 30
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you still ain't 30 years of marriage you still ain't gonna have it all figured out my wife and I are still trying to figure stuff out
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um and we just take it as it comes and we learn and we mature and we grow and it takes time but you'll not get there if you quit
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fellas you'll not get there if you quit if you just say forget it you know i just i can't be the man that i wanted
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to be well of course you're not right now you will not be the man that you want to be until you grow into it you have to grow into it so the whole point of this video
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is just to encourage you, chill out, man.
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Just chill.
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You guys that are contacting me and saying, man, I got a degree and I just lost this job.
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Listen, and I'm not making light of it, okay?
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Let me just put it in perspective, all right?
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I've got five grandbabies.
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Now, one of those grandbabies is,
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let's say that grandbaby is 14 months old and they're learning to walk okay and so they're kind of they're just in a diaper you've seen
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it you know they're just in the diaper and they're going across the kitchen floor to mama and they're kind of weaving a little bit and
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that their little fat feet and their little fat thighs are just kind of thunk thunk thunk and all of a sudden
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they're like oh oh and they got the bubble butt out here the bubble stubby tummy out here and they got the big old diaper in the back so they're not balanced
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all right and so they lose their balance and they're like oh oh oh bam and they fall down and land flat on their butt
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and they look shocked and they look surprised and then their face screws up and they start crying bloody murder
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that's the worst thing that has ever happened to them in their life it's like it's like a disaster of apocalyptic proportions because it's all they've ever known
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and you've just gone through a breakup and it's the worst thing you've ever been through and
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it's a disaster of apocalyptic proportions because you haven't had the time and the experience yet to develop
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worse and to turn around and look at that in relation to the realities of a long life well lived and one day you're going to try and look back and you're going to say
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that really wasn't such a disaster and in fact that was probably the best thing ever happened to me some of you
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you lost your job and you thought that job was it and it was a good paying job and you went four years
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of college in order to get the degree to get that job then you got the job and then COVID happened and or layoffs and different stuff and now all of a sudden you lost that job.
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It's the worst thing you've ever been through.
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And so all of a sudden you're sitting there and you're thinking, man, I thought my life was together.
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Now it's in shambles at my feet.
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No, it's not.
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No, it's not.
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It's not.
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It's all right.
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It's all right.
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You're not supposed to have it together.
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All right.
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Those who go to college, get out of college, get a job and stay in that job until they retire, then retire and buy property down in Florida.
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That's an anomaly.
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That's not normal.
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It happens, but it's an anomaly.
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Uh, and, uh, and most of those people, you know, they might be really good people, but they ain't got cool stories to tell and you don't get wisdom.
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You don't get wisdom past a certain point by living that life.
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Okay?
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So,
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two or three years ago i uh i made a whole series of really really bad decisions
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really bad decisions um and uh and it brought me to the point at 50 over 50 over 50 where i was like
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I ain't got it together.
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I'm not mature.
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I'm not grown.
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I'm not the man I'm supposed to be.
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And I started working on it.
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And the man that I am today, the father that I would be today, if children were to come along today, that's not the man I was before.
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And that's not the father I could have been before.
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Okay?
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A blade does not become strong.
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It does not become tempered.
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until it's been through the fire.
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Until it's been through the fire several times.
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And this is just your first or second time through the fire.
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And there's a lot of hammer work that has to take place.
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And then you're going to have to go back in the forge again.
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And it's hot.
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And it melts you down.
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And you're uncomfortable.
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And then life is going to pull you out.
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And it's going to put you on anvil.
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And it's going to hammer on you some more.
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And you're going to say, well, am I done yet?
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Am I sword for the ages?
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Uh, no.
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No, you're not.
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You're not done yet.
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Alright?
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So just chill.
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Just chill.
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Continue to have fun.
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Now, by fun, I'm not recommending you go out, drink your brains out at the bar and do something stupid, but my goodness, go hunting, go fishing, get a mountain bike, go hiking, go to the gym,
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go hang out around a barbecue fire with friends and just act silly and act goofy and be your age.
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Be your age and just embrace the process.
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And don't look for what you are supposed to be fully, completely polished, sharpened, edged, tempered at 26 or 36 at 46.
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You've got a lot more forge time left.
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you've got a lot more hammer blows left.
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And it takes time.
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But if you will patiently embrace the process, then by the time you get up in years, you can be a man that you're proud of.
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Okay?
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So this is just an encouragement to just chill out.
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Just chill out.
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Embrace the process.
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You say, Duane, what process?
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Life.
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life.
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Embrace the journey and the process of life.
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You only get stronger hiking by going uphill.
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Nobody gets stronger hiking by just going downhill.
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Alright?
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Alright.
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I'm going to get in trouble here if I don't do this.
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Eric Stockaby, fourth generation and Aberrant.
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This is my first 10 of this and it's actually Rustica,
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which is a very old tobacco and it's a pretty heavyweight tobacco mixed with Sweet Virginia and a little bit of Darkfire Kentucky, which I'm very fond of.
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It's a very robust, very interesting, very flavorful mixture.
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But if you are a, what's the word I want?
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Aromatic smoker, it's probably not going to be for you.
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But that's what we got going on here.
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So, again, guys and gals, just hang in there.
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I'm rooting for you.
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and we'll catch you guys next time.
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About This Lesson

In this lesson, you will practice the shadowspeak technique by analyzing and mimicking a motivational talk addressing common concerns about life’s uncertainties and personal growth. The speaker emphasizes that it is normal not to have everything figured out in your twenties and thirties, reinforcing that wisdom and experience take time to develop. Through this exercise, you will enhance your speaking skills while improving your comprehension of spoken English, particularly in everyday conversations about personal reflection and societal expectations. You’ll engage in IELTS speaking practice by responding to the speaker's insights with your thoughts and feelings.

Key Vocabulary & Phrases

  • Have it all together: To be organized and successful in various aspects of life.
  • Experience: Practical contact with and observation of facts or events.
  • Wisdom: The ability to make sound judgments based on knowledge.
  • Portfolio of experience: A collection of different experiences that contribute to one’s knowledge and skills.
  • Mature: To grow or develop fully.
  • Society: A community of people living together, often governed by shared norms and values.
  • Expectations: Strong beliefs about how someone should behave or what should happen.
  • Critters: Informal term for small animals or insects.

Practice Tips

To effectively use the shadow speech technique with this video, follow these tips:

  • Watch and Listen: Begin by watching the video without any interruption. Listen to the speaker’s tone and pace, noting how he conveys emotion and understanding.
  • Repeat in Real-Time: Use the shadowing technique by pausing the video after each sentence or phrase. Try to repeat what you hear immediately, imitating not just the words but also the speaker’s intonation and rhythm. This will help you get used to the natural flow of English conversation.
  • Focus on Clarity: Pay close attention to pronouncing key vocabulary clearly, as these phrases are essential for effective communication, especially when discussing personal growth during IELTS speaking practice sessions.
  • Record Yourself: After practicing, record your own shadow speech. Compare your recording with the original to identify areas for improvement in your pronunciation and pacing.
  • Engage in Discussion: Talk with friends or fellow learners about the themes discussed in the video. Use newly acquired vocabulary, which will reinforce your learning and boost your confidence in speaking.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

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