ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Talk to Anyone with Confidence (Even If You’re Nervous)

Hey there. I'm going to teach you today how to attract, avoid...

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Hey there. I'm going to teach you today how to attract, avoid...

No. How to approach humans.

You know those other people that are around you?

It can be difficult.

It can be daunting.

"Daunting" is a word that means, like, scary, a little bit uncomfortable.

But there are a couple things that I want you to think about when you're doing this.

If it's a group situation, or a party, or just on the street meeting people, there's two major categories we have to think about.

First of all is the verbal, means what you're going to talk about or say, and then the kind of non-verbal side of things.

And of course the verbal side is important because you go...

"Well, I mean, what do you say to people?" Let me help you out with this one.

But the non-verbal might be where you're making mistakes.

Let's go into the verbal first.

So, what do you say?

What do you say to people when you first meet them?

"Hey, you know what I do?

I introduce myself." It doesn't matter who they are, anything, how old they are, where they're from.

All you have to do to start a conversation with someone is say, "Hi.

My name's Ronnie.

What's your name?" You don't even have to ask them their name, just say, "Hi, my name's Ronnie." You don't have to say, "It's nice to meet you.

How are you?" "How are you?" "Fine. How are you?" "Good." What happens to your conversation?

"Dead." So, you introduce yourself, and it gives the other person the opportunity to say their name, hopefully introduce themselves, and it's their job to continue the conversation.

So guess what?

If they don't want to talk to you, you will know because, "Hey, hi, I'm Ronnie." Okay.

If they walk away or they don't smile, you know it's your chance to leave them.

On to the next.

There's an expression here called "read the room".

I love this.

It's a very common expression now.

You're like, "Why is there a book in the room?" But reading the room means when you go someplace and you talk to people, you figure out what they're thinking.

So, if I go in and say, "Hi, I'm Ronnie", and the person that I've greeted, their smile drops and they just kind of turn away, guess what?

I know that they don't want to talk to me.

Or if I'm really hyper and I go into a party or I go someplace and, you know, "Hey, everybody, I'm Ronnie", and they're like...

Oh. You'll see it in their body movement, you'll see it in their facial expressions.

Read the room basically means, like, understand your position in the group and kind of blend in.

Or if you don't want to, then blend out.

But read the room is understanding what the other people are doing, what's happening in the situation.

Super important at work.

A lot of people fall into this conversation pitfall.

So, instead of asking the people a "yes/no" question...

So, do you like it here?

Yeah. People are going to say yes or no.

So instead of asking someone a "do you", "are you" question, ask them a "what do you think about the subject?" So, ask people for their thoughts and ideas.

So, let's say that I've met you for the first time.

"Hi, I'm Ronnie." And you're like, "Oh, hi.

I'm Glenda.

Nice to meet you." I would say, "Hey.

Do you like Canada?" "Glenda, yes." Oh.

What am I going to say next?

So instead of asking "yes/no", say, "Hi, what do you think about Canada?" People go, "Oh, pfft, here's my list." Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, conversation.

And then you pull pieces from that.

It's great.

Another really hard thing for me to do sometimes is to listen to people.

This might be your biggest mistake, especially in a work environment when you have to get to know people, is maybe you're really nervous about talking to the people and asking them questions that you forget to take a pause and listen to what the person's saying.

So you've got your question, right?

Okay. I'm going to ask them what they think about Canada.

So, "Glenda, what do you think about Canada?" "Oh, Canada's really good." And what do you think about...

"No, no, no.

Shut up. Ronnie, shut up." Let the person speak.

Listen to them.

Get ideas based on what they've told you.

Super important, because if you're just always yap, yap, yap, and talking, it's...

The other person's like...

So you've got to give the person time to answer your wonderful question.

Next one. I always do this.

Talk about your surroundings, where you are.

People like, "Talk about the weather.

Okay. So, today's sunny, right?

Yeah. Good." No.

Say, "Oh, cool.

Do you see that tree over there?

Do you know what kind of tree that is?

You're at a party.

Wow. This place is cool, right?

Where do you think the person got this from?" Look at where you are and think of questions based on where you are.

You can ask other weird questions, too, but people might not get you.

I do that. This is a huge thing.

Humans love, love, love, love compliments.

So, a compliment is when you say to someone, like, "Oh, Josh, I like your shirt." Do you know what?

Josh is so happy because you like his shirt.

Why? But make sure your compliments are genuine or real.

If you don't like the person's shirt, don't say, like, "Oh, I like your shirt." Think of something else, like, "Oh, look, you have feet." Yeah.

That's a great compliment.

"Oh, it's nice to meet you.

I'm Ronnie." "Wow, you have feet." Boy, I do have feet.

It's a great compliment.

Nice feet. So, make sure that when you're asking questions, they're open-ended questions so that you give the person the chance to talk, you listen, and just be nice to the people.

Read the room.

If someone's not talking to you, carry on.

Next. Next.

This is a hard one.

Project confidence.

So, how do you do that?

What is confidence?

Confidence is basically thinking that you're pretty good, you know, you can do this, I got this.

When you first walk into a room, if it's a party, or a group, or a meeting, it's very intimidating.

Maybe you're scared, maybe you're nervous, so you have to pretend that you're confident.

How do you do this?

If you walk in like, "Hey, I'm Ronnie", you've got tall posture, so shoulders back, chest out, let's go.

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You have to fake it till you make it.

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So, you walk in, you're like, "Hey, I'm Ronnie." Make sure you're not slouching.

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Make eye contact with the people.

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Right? "Hey, I've told you this before." Look in their eyes.

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And number one, smile.

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If you meet someone and they're not smiling, read the room.

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The person doesn't want to talk to you, they're not happy to see you, maybe they've got something else on their mind that not involves your pet cat.

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So, understand that when people are smiling and you smile, it makes the atmosphere a lot better.

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This is a huge one, too, physical space.

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Physical space.

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Some people have no idea what this is, so let me tell you.

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Physical space means how far or close you are to someone.

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So, imagine if I was like this the whole time, would you feel comfortable watching lessons if I'm this close to you?

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Hell no. You've got to back up.

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We say that intimate physical space-no, not intimate physical space-is like one arm's length away.

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So, if you put your arm on the other person's shoulder, that's pretty close.

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So I'm, like, two arms lengths away, like, stay away from me, unless you have some food for me.

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I am very aware of my physical space.

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Do you guys remember COVID?

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Yeah, COVID.

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Remember on the floor they had stickers, like, "You must sit 5.3 inches away from the next person's left toe", and you're like, "Wow, this is perfect", because I don't know what it is.

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When I'm standing in line, the person behind me is right on my ass, and I'm like, "Personal space, please." Sometimes do one of these, you know, just to make sure I've got some space around me.

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Don't ride up people in line, just take a few steps back.

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You don't want to smell their farts.

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When you're interested in someone or someone is interested in your conversation, they will subconsciously-that means without knowing-they will lean in.

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So if you study people's body language, when you first see the person, "Hi, I'm Ronnie", you'll notice that they're...

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They start to move their body towards you a little bit more, which can be fun, can also be horrible if the person has bad breath or smells bad, because you're like, "Whoa, hey, hey.

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Hey, what's going on?" Okay. Yeah, so be careful of that one.

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This is an interesting thing, too.

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Remember I told you about having feet before?

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Cool. Apparently if your feet are pointing towards the person that you're talking to, that means that you're more interested in...

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If your feet...

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You can't see it.

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If your feet are pointed away from the person or your body, it means you're reading the room, they...

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They don't want to talk to you.

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So, the position of your feet is important because your body's going to be...

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Probably your head's facing the same way, too.

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It's kind of uncomfortable to do this.

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"Hey. Having a good time?" "Yeah." "Good.

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Yeah. Thanks.

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Okay." This is another interesting subconscious thing.

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Mirror the person.

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Now, you don't have to think about this, but I want you to be aware of what other humans do.

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"Mirror" or "mirroring" means you copy the person's gestures.

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And this is...

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Again, is a subconscious thing.

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So if someone's scratching their face, they go, "Oh, man, it's a good idea I should scratch my face, too." It doesn't happen like that.

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People preen or they touch their hair.

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You'll notice that other people will do the same thing.

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If someone's standing with their arms crossed and their feet towards you, maybe you will see the other person in the conversation has their arms crossed as well.

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This is a social game you can play.

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See if people mirror each other.

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If they're not mirroring each other, if they're not leaned in and their feet are not pointed towards the person, they want to leave the conversation.

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They're not...

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They're not engaged, they're not having a good time.

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And these other non-verbal things, like "nodding", "nod" means this, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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If you see someone nodding, it means agreement.

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So if somebody's talking and you're, like, your head bobbling, "Oh, are you...

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Is your head okay?" Yeah.

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It's telling the other person that what they're saying you agree with, or you're thinking about it and it's like, oh, you're processing it.

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If people are shaking their head, this is kind of a bad thing, and maybe they just want to give their opinion or they totally disagree with you, which is cool.

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Again, listen to what they're saying, and maybe get some information from them.

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So the verbal and the non-verbal clues in English are super important.

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So the next time you've got to rock into a business meeting, or a party, or some kind of social event and you're feeling a little bit uneasy, remember the tips.

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Look in the eye, not at the feet, and you'll be great.

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Actually, maybe have a shot of tequila before you head in there.

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All right, I'm off.

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