ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: The Most Chaotic Family Meals on ted | The Funny Bit

Susan, just say it once.

No. Just one time.

No. She's not gonna do it.

Come on, just one fuck.

Nah, she doesn't want to go to hell.

Come on, Susan.

I can express myself without that kind of language.

Thank you.

Come on, we got a bet going.

Just one time.

What's the bet?

Oh, that Ted can get Mom to swear.

Oh, wow, so fucking adult.

Hey, we're at dinner.

Just say shit.

Shoot.

Just give us the finger.

There's your finger.

Say Polack.

Ted, really?

It's not a race.

You can say it.

Yeah, it's just a bunch of guys.

Okay, just eat your supper, fellas.

She's not gonna swear, man.

I win.

Ah, fuck.

Pay up.

Thank you.

Wait, you're not wearing pants.

Where'd you get this?

Don't you worry about where I'm keeping stuff.

I was so fucking hungry.

I was so hungry, too.

It's so weird.

You know what?

This is like the perfect food for the perfect night.

Yeah, like, who invented food?

That guy rocks.

Well, if I knew you guys were gonna get so gussied up, I would've made something fancy.

No!

Ma, this is perfect.

This is perfect steak-ums.

The perfect steak-ums.

It's right here.

Just, just feel it.

Ah.

I can feel your love in this, Ma.

I'm so happy you love it so much.

Jesus, you guys are acting like it's today's special illegal seafood.

It's fine.

I think it's delicious, Suze.

Can you guys believe that we're just, like, we're sitting here and we're, like, having an experience and experiencing reality all at once?

Hey, Susan, Susan, I just want to say, you have found your haircut.

What, you think so?

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

You could ride this to 70 and you'd be fine.

Well, I just took a picture of Tipper Gore into the salon and I said, now, I know it can't be like that, but try to get it as close as you can, and so...

Well, uh...

Typical, I should bring in a picture of you.

Stop it.

This night.

Is there a fucking gas leak or something?

Everyone, Maddie and I have some news.

Oh, man, it finally happened.

Look, I'm sure this was a tough decision to make, but there's no sense in postponing the inevitable.

You know what?

Not every marriage is meant to last forever, and at a certain point, you're just throwing good years after bad.

We're going out to dinner.

Hey, that's one of my favorite meals.

We're gonna go out, we're gonna have a nice romantic evening tomorrow.

Just the two of us, just because.

And we're gonna have a lovely time.

That's right.

My wife deserves a night out just for being her.

We're gonna have a great meal, and it's gonna be terrific.

Jesus, take it easy.

What?

I'm fucking happy.

It's gonna be a great night.

You know, I wonder if years from now, we'll find out this was all just one big, long heart attack.

Hey, Matty, a Jew, a Polak, and a black guy walk into a bar...

My fucking God, really?

Hey, watch the language.

Hey, tell your stupid truck that.

He's telling racist jokes.

I'm not racist.

The punchline wasn't gonna be about the black guy.

It was gonna be about the Jew.

And to a lesser extent about the Polak and a little bit about the black guy's penis.

See?

The point is, none of them knew how deep the water was.

Ow!

Hey!

This is assault!

I'm being assaulted here!

So much for the non-violent left!

It's Christmas Eve.

Can't we just have a nice dinner together?

100

Yes, we can.

101

It's a beautiful ham on Susan.

102

Thank you.

103

Yeah, everything looks really great.

104

Thank you, girls.

105

Thank you.

106

You want some of this?

107

Yes, please.

108

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!

109

What?

110

We gotta say grace.

111

Thank the Lord.

112

You're welcome.

113

Fine.

114

Dennis, would you like to do the honors?

115

Absolutely.

116

Bow your heads.

117

Dear Lord.

118

Yes.

119

Thank you for this food.

120

No problem.

121

And for these blessings.

122

Any time.

123

Make us thankful on it.

124

And may we serve you mashed potatoes.

125

And what the fuck?

126

You wanna say grace?

127

I'd feel like an asshole.

128

Amen.

129

Oh.

130

That was just beautiful, Dennis.

131

Look at all these welfare queens.

132

See?

133

That's the problem with this country.

134

Everybody expects everything handed to them on a silver platter.

135

Hey, guys.

136

Um, can I talk to you about something?

137

You want a tuna sandwich?

138

No, I'm okay.

139

Um...

140

It's about John.

141

Uh...

142

I think he might be on the verge of...

143

Well, I think he's interested in becoming sexually active.

144

What do you mean?

145

Well, I don't really know how I can be clearer than that.

146

Have you guys ever talked to John about sex?

147

Of course not.

148

He's only 16.

149

Talking about sex is rude.

150

So you're going to rely on a gym teacher and a horny teddy bear?

151

I mean, how do you expect him to learn what he needs to know?

152

When you get drafted, they show you a film.

153

Look, I get it can be an awkward conversation, but it's really important.

154

Tony Randall was in it.

155

You're absolutely right, Blair.

156

You know what I'm gonna do?

157

I'm gonna clip an Ask Beth from the Globe, and I'll slide it under his door.

158

Guys, there's nothing shameful about human sexuality.

159

You've never been in a strip club when the lights come on. And neither have I.

160

Maddie, this isn't a joke, okay?

161

He needs to know this stuff.

162

Look!

163

I'll talk to him when the time is right.

164

And I'm telling you, as somebody who knows him really well, it's the right time, okay?

165

I think you're trying to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, and honestly, that's selfish of you.

166

All I'm trying to do is eat my lunch here.

167

Jesus.

168

Your period coming in or something?

169

I...

170

What?

171

Forget it.

172

Coming in?

173

Like it's my fucking adult teeth?

174

Forget I brought it up.

175

Fuck, it sounds like you need the talk, not him.

176

Do you have any idea how a period actually works?

177

I know enough.

178

No one's ever explained it to you, have they?

179

I tried once, but Maddie said it was too close to the holidays.

180

Oh, my God.

181

Aunt Suze, think about your son.

182

All right?

183

Don't you want John to grow up to be a sexually healthy adult?

184

Blair!

185

Language!

186

My parents never talked to me about sex.

187

I figured it all out on my own, and I'm doing just fine.

188

We'll talk to John.

189

Maddie, honey, that's your fourth beer.

190

Yeah, I had a shit day.

191

Yeah, four's like a Boston one.

192

He's okay.

193

I'm sorry your day was hard, honey.

194

Yeah, well, sorry doesn't fix the car.

195

What happened to the car, Dad?

196

Whole rear fender got smashed.

197

Well, how bad is it?

198

It's gonna be at least 400 bucks.

199

Who hid it?

200

I didn't see.

201

But I was parked outside the Hong Kong buffet.

202

So, do the math.

203

I'm sorry.

204

What?

205

I'm just saying.

206

Wow, that is such complete bullshit.

207

Hey, we're at dinner.

208

It's a bullshit stereotype.

209

Tell that to my car.

210

Swear to God, this whole household is so goddamn backward.

211

Ted has used two derogatory terms this afternoon, and then there you go, topping it off with that ignorant comment.

212

I said midget.

213

What was the other one?

214

Yeah, I don't know.

215

You're living in my house with my family, eating our food and drinking our milk.

216

Tough shit if you don't like it.

217

That's just.. that's great.

218

I'm so glad you don't count me as a member of the family, Uncle Matty.

219

Maybe Polak?

220

No, couldn't be that.

221

That one's fine.

222

Claire, you are absolutely a member of this family.

223

Maddie, tell her you're sorry. Of course he won't.

224

Because if he did, he'd be admitting I'm right, which would also be admitting he is a classic Boston racist.

225

I'm not a racist!

226

My favorite movie is Rocky!

227

How the fuck does that make you not racist?

228

Uh, Apollo Creed is in the movie. So? So?

229

He's a black guy who wins against a white guy.

230

Oh, my God.

231

I mean, it's assuming you count Italians as whites, which I mostly do.

232

Of course, you know, they weren't white up until the 1960s.

233

They got a big bump after Korea.

234

And it wasn't so much they got more white, the Cubans got more black, but I was okay with that too.

235

Isn't this the toast that got you kicked out of Ronnie's wedding?

236

Again, I was explaining why it was okay that he married an Italian.

237

Jesus Christ, you are literally proving my point.

238

You are a raging fucking racist.

239

Hey, we're at dinner.

240

Sarah and I are a couple.

241

Called it, Johnny.

242

Motherfucker.

243

Man, I thought we were gonna do this on January 3rd.

244

Wait a minute.

245

You, the two of you?

246

Oh my god.

247

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey!

248

What the fuck is this?

249

What are you gonna do about it?

250

You're gay?

251

Fluid.

252

What the hell does that mean?

253

It means that I'm attracted to personalities, regardless of their gender.

254

Oh, Jesus Christ.

255

You're attracted to personalities and you picked her?

256

Hey!

257

Oh, fuck you, you've met six people.

258

It's that college!

259

It's that college!

260

Oh my god.

261

Susan, what am I always saying?

262

College turns people gay.

263

College turns people gay!

264

Absolutely right!

265

Out there on the lawn every weekend tossing the frisbee around.

266

How the fuck is frisbee gay?

267

It's a sport where nobody wins!

268

It's only about the fun! So what?

269

And what's this?

270

What's this?

271

Doing this all the time, huh?

272

That's not a man's sport.

273

You might as well be on a balcony waving goodbye to your lover.

274

Making those clap catches like your front row at Elton John.

275

Oh, the clap catch.

276

You have clap catch and your wham-o frisbee.

277

You know why it's called wham-o?

278

You turn around, you bend over to pick up your frisbee and wham-o!

279

Oh, you know what?

280

You wish you were a frisbee, you little shit.

281

It's going really good, Blair.

282

We had a great time on our first date.

283

Even the hospital was fun.

284

Yeah, they're gonna fuck for sure.

285

I mean, unless, you know, the timing's off.

286

What do you mean?

287

Well, I mean, you know, if she's gotta make a period.

288

What?

289

You know, if it's that time of the week.

290

Okay, so what?

291

So what if she gets her period?

292

Well, like, you can't have sex then, right?

293

Like, I heard that if you have sex while a girl's doing a period, then you could go back in time.

294

I think I just went back in time.

295

Does any male in this house actually even fucking know how it works?

296

Well, do you?

297

I do not.

298

I actually have no idea.

299

No. Yeah.

300

I actually was always kind of curious.

301

There's like a little tube, right?

302

Yes.

303

A tampon.

304

Oh, yeah, I know that word.

305

I know that word.

306

Is a crampon also something?

307

A crampon is used for rock climbing.

308

It's got nothing to do with periods.

309

Oh.

310

It's weird that it has the word cramp in there, though, yeah?

311

Two completely different things.

312

But you can see why I thought...

313

Okay, you want to make jokes?

314

You want to fucking learn something.

315

I wasn't making a joke.

316

I didn't know about the rock climbing.

317

God!

318

How's it work?

319

Give me your best guess.

320

You put the tampon inside.

321

Genius.

322

Yes.

323

How?

324

You swallow it.

325

You use the applicator to insert it into the vagina, And then you remove the applicator by pulling it out.

326

And this happens all the time?

327

Once a month for just a few days.

328

Is it shorter in February?

329

You wanna get fucking wet?

330

No, no, no, I'm good, I'm good.

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ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: The Most Chaotic Family Meals on ted | The Funny Bit

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