It's Fat Halpert.

What? Fat Halpert, Jim Halpert.

So why don't I take you on a tour of past Dundie winners?

We got Fat Jim Halpert here.

Jim, why don't you show off your dundies to the camera?

Oh, I can't, because I keep them hidden.

I don't want to look at them and get cocky.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Mine are at home in a display case above my bed.

Yuck! TMI. TMI, my friends.

TMI, too much information.

Uh, it's just easier to say TMI.

I used to say, don't go there. But that's lame.

And here we have Stanley the manly.

Now, Stanley is a dundie all star, aren't you Stan?

Why don't you, uh, show them some of your bling?

I don't know where they are. I think I threw them out.

Oh, no, you didn't.

I think I did.

Mm. Why did- Say we gotta order some more appetizers this time?

We ran out last year, remember?

We should, uh, you know what?

I wanted one of those skillets of cheese, but when I got off stage, someone had eaten all of them.

To Oscar Martinez, it's the "Show Me the Money" award!

Michael has taped every Dundies awards. - Yeah! That's supposed to be confidential.

And now, he's making me look through He has the award-ah...

hours of footage, it's a type of song to find highlights. that we are going to play for the ladies. Hit it, Dwight!

A little bit of Pam, all night long.

A little bit of Angela, on the thing.

Oh, yeah, this is the part where Kevin sat in front a little bit of Phyllis everywhere of the camcorder all night. It's great. a little bit of Roooy eating chicken crispers A little bit of Jim and with some ribs, a little bit of… It was you. - Live and learn.

It wasn't. I swear.

So what's the joke? You're not perfect either.

We're not laughing at you, Dwight.

So who are we laughing at?

Um, just something somebody wrote.

Who? Dave Barry?

No, no, just something that was written in the ladies room wall.

What is it? Who wrote it?

Um, it's kind of private.

It's about Michael.

That is defacement of company property.

So you'd better tell me.

Kelly, if you tell me, you'll be punished less.

Okay, now I'm laughing at you.

Will her highness, Jan Levinson-Gould, be descending from her corporate throne this evening to visit us lowly serfs here at Dunder Mifflin Scranton?

It's a, it's, it's a two and a half hour drive from New York, Michael.

Well, you could take the bus.

You could work on the way here.

Sleep on the way home. - No.

Well, come on, Jan, this is important.

I mean, this is, this is validation to my employees here that you and corporate approve of this.

So we don't approve of this, Michael.

I mean, you only have the budget for one office party a year, so we're not paying for this.

Um. Are you there Michael? - Yeah. I'm here.

I just wanted to talk to you for a second about that.

Um, what, ah, what is, I mean, come on, Jan!

You're dropping an A-Bomb on me here.

Really? I'm dropping an atomic bomb on you?

Well, yeah. I mean, what is what? No, you can't. - You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.

No reason? It was the 05 05 05 party.

It happens once every billion years. - And you had a luau...

And a tsunami relief fundraiser which somehow lost a lot of money.

Okay. No, that was a FUN raiser.

I think I made that very clear in the fliers. - Okay, well, I don't understand Fun, F-U-N. - why anyone would have a tsunami FUN raiser, Michael.

Well, I think a lot of people were very affected - I mean, that doesn't even make sense.

by the footage.

It's a little character I like to do.

It is, uh, loosely based on Karnack, one of Carson's classic characters.

Here we go. The PLO, the IRA, and the hot dog stand behind the warehouse.

Name three businesses that have better health care plans than Dunder Mifflin.

Here's the problem. There's no open bar because of Jan.

And it's the reason why comedy clubs have a two drink minimum.

It'll be fine. I just...

wish people are going to be drunk.