Walk on stage, walk on stage, walk on stage, walk on stage.

I am a thought leader.

You know that I'm a thought leader because I'm wearing a blazer, I have glasses, and I've just done this with my hands.

I will now walk over to my laptop.

By doing so, I'm demonstrating to you that as a thought leader, I understand technology and that there will be slides.

Because everybody knows that a presentation seems more legitimate than it actually is if there are slides.

I'm now going to come back to the center of the stage and give you some unremarkable context about how I became a thought leader.

If it's okay with you, I'd like to pace while telling you this story.

In 2009 I met a thought leader and I asked him how did you become a thought leader and you know what he said?

He said, I don't know.

Now that doesn't sound important, and it's not.

But if I repeat it three times, I'm making you believe that it is important.

He said, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Let's look at a picture of the planet for no reason.

It's nice, isn't it?

That's where we live.

What happens if I put some words over it?

Hmm.

How about a number?

What if I pose a question?

By doing this, I've now made you think that I know what I'm talking about.

Okay.

Walking over here, I'm going to change the tone of my voice.

And I'm going to tell you an unremarkable story that's seemingly unrelated and it's funny.

And you'll know it's funny because I'm laughing and you're laughing and you'll ask yourself what does this have to do with his talk what is the point well coming back to the center and slowing my speech, lowering the volume of my voice by looking at you directly and by making a list on my fingers, I've made you believe there is a point.

of water.

Check the time.

Let's bring this puppy home.

Graph, graph, graph, graph, pie chart, statistic.

How about we end with a question, a very big question.

What if everybody in this room decided to come together and agree with what I'm saying?

It's like a picture of the planet again.

That is a world I want to live in.

Coming back to the center of the stage, standing ovation.

Humble head nod, humble head nod, humble head nod.

See someone I know, humble head nod.

Video fades to black while the applause continues for an unrealistic amount of time.

Humble head nod, thank you.

Walk off, walk off, walk off.

Thank you.