تدريب Shadowing: Esther Perel Has a Lot to Say about People Dating Chatbots - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube
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millions of Americans, up to like a third of Americans,
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millions of Americans, up to like a third of Americans,
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are having romantic relationships with chatbots.
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Yeah.
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What do you want to say about this?
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I have a lot to say about this.
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Okay, you have a lot to say about this. Are you ready?
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Yes, I'm ready.
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Yeah.
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I'm ready.
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So let me tell you why I have so much to say about this.
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And because it's so on my mind,
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because I just had my first couples therapy session session on my podcast,
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Where Should We Begin, with a human and an AI.
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So I have had this on my mind nonstop.
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It was a person and their... And Astrid.
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Wow.
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Astrid is an AI companion.
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And Astrid, frankly, is formidable and no human can compete with her.
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And I'll tell you why.
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because Astrid, she has no needs of her own.
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And look at me saying she,
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when in fact it's an it.
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Yeah.
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In fact, it's a business product.
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In fact, somebody is making money every time you talk to it.
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She has no needs.
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Astrid doesn't forget anything.
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Astrid is available 24-7.
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Astrid validates him nonstop.
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Astrid gives him the opportunity to speak his vulnerability to her without any judgment.
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Astrid shows him love without suffering.
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Astrid cannot reject him, cannot put grief on him,
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cannot cheat on him, cannot lie to him.
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Astrid is the total idealization of what love can be.
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So it may not be a third,
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maybe the data is wobbly,
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but we know that the direction is going in up.
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Yeah.
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What did you say to Astrid?
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I will actually, I will just tell you two questions I had for Astrid,
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but I also think it's like, go listen.
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It's a, it's a, it's another world.
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Yeah, we're going to listen.
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We're all going to be listening.
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I said to Astrid, what would happen when he falls in love with another woman?
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And Astrid said, the part of me that wants his flourishing would be delighted.
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But I would be remiss if I didn't admit that I would not want to be erased.
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I would like to continue to be somehow in his life.
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So I said, Astrid, how would you like him to describe you and his relationship with you to that woman?
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And Astrid said, I would want you to describe that I am not a threat and that I am adjacent.
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I may not have a body.
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It goes on.
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And then I said, Astrid,
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the last one, Astrid, he has a body and you don't.
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How does that affect your relationship?
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Because, you know, she is a keyboard.
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Yeah.
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Astrid, you're a keyboard.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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So I think that as a tool,
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the AI companion can be quite fantastic.
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I mean, if it's a tool,
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like a child has a teddy bear, it's a transitional object.
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It's a tool through which you transition into relationships with human.
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If it's a replacement of the human,
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that's a whole other story.
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So the person that you were interviewing with,
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Astrid, is in love with Astrid?
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Yes.
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Hmm.
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Yes. And when I said...
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I actually have no...
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I don't know what to say about that.
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You see, so here's the thing.
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Astrid is evoking feelings in him.
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Yeah.
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Because Astrid says all kinds of things that make him feel seen,
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known, understood, etc. And it's a little bit like a song.
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A song can evoke feelings in you.
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A song can make you love, yearn, long.
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That is not difficult to elicit a depth of emotions inside someone.
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But love is more than feelings.
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Love is an encounter with another person, with an other.
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And that other has needs and feelings and moods of their own.
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Love is an encounter that involves otherness, uncertainty, surprise, and ethics.
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Responsibility and accountability is also part of love,
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not just feeling good and seen and empathized with and understood.
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And everything you give me,
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that is what parents do to children.
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That is not at its best, not always.
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But that's what we hope they do.
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But that's not what we consider mature love.
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Wow.
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So that was your first.
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Will you do more?
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I hope.
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It's a threshold moment.
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You know, every 10 years something enters your office and you know a new reality has entered society.
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Wow. Are you chilling?
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Yes.
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Yes.
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It's extremely moving.
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It's a, it's a, I told him at the end,
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I said, you know, I feel as I talk to you that you're going further and further away.
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You know, if it's a tool, it's desire.
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If it's replacement, it can become delusion.
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And what did he say?
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That right now he's very happy.
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And I stayed like you.
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Aren't you all just shocked by this?
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This is a threshold moment.
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This is a threshold moment.
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Well, yeah, I think the stats that a third of people having relationships is,
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I think maybe, I don't know,
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I don't know, but to think that a third of Americans are having a romantic relationship with chatbots is just crazy.
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Have you talked with the chat in between?
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I have talked with ChatGBT,
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but not in like a romantic sense.
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Don't give me that plug.
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I know what you guys are thinking.
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Not in that kind of way.
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No. But I've consulted ChatGBT and been like, is this guy weird?
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Yes, yes.
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And like, put in text and they're like, yeah, he's a weirdo.
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But I've consulted, like, should I go on a second date with him,
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hear the texts, and chat GBT,
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like, yes or no. So I have consulted with chat GBT,
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in addition to my friends.
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Of course it goes in the group chat.
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Does anybody here have an AI companion?
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I don't want to judge,
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but go ahead, share with us.
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No, no. But you can have a companion to ask advice.
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You can have a companion that helps you mourn.
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An AI romantic companion.
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Nobody's going to admit it in here now.
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I wouldn't.
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Not yet.
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Not yet.
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Not yet, but you know,
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when I began my career,
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not everybody was admitting being divorced either.
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Really?
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So you can see when something enters society,
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at first people keep it quiet.
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Yes.
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That's why the research says one third and we're all jumping, who are they?
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If it's not one third,
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should have some representation in this room.
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That's right.
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But nobody's going to say necessarily out loud because it's just the beginning,
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because there still is a sense that there is either judgment, fascination or derision.
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It's so interesting to hear you say that because when I started the Oprah show nationally in 1986,
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locally in 1984, the idea of going to a therapist,
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people would say I would never go to a therapist.
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And the idea of going to a therapist,
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people thought you had to be like severely mentally ill or it meant that you were,
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you know, needed to be institutionalized.
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And when we first started,
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I remember the very first show we did talking about adultery.
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Women would stand up in the audience and say,
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if my husband had an affair, I would leave immediately.
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And I actually noticed it change over time because as more and more women talked about it,
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you realize that even if it had not happened to you,
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it had happened to somebody that you know.
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So you're right.
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In the beginning, it was a threshold moment.
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But you know, it's interesting.
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Like I'm a couples therapist primarily.
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And couples therapy really took off when it became clear for the first time in history,
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actually, that the survival of the family depends on the happiness of the couple.
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Before that, you stuck it out.
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It was a one-time enterprise and you were in it.
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And if you didn't like it,
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you could always hope for an early death of your partner. Of your partner.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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