تدريب Shadowing: How to Stop Caring What Others Think | Jennie’s English Podcast | English & Chill with Jennie - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube
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Hi, my dear friends.
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Hi, my dear friends.
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It's Jenny here.
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Before anything else, thank you for being here.
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Thank you for listening, supporting the channel, and continuing this English and mindset journey with me.
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Every comment, every message, and every person who chooses to spend a few minutes here means more than you know.
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Today, while scrolling through my phone, I came across an old photo I hadn't seen in years.
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It wasn't a special event.
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No birthday, no big achievement, no life-changing moment.
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Just an ordinary day captured without much thought.
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And yet, looking at it now, it felt strangely precious.
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Maybe that's one of the surprising things about time.
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The moments we think are ordinary often become the ones we miss the most.
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A familiar place, a conversation, a version of ourselves that didn't know how quickly life would move forward.
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It made me think about how differently we see things once enough time has passed.
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And that reminded me of something.
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A few years ago, I was walking through a busy shopping mall when something slightly embarrassing happened.
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I tripped.
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Not dramatically.
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Just enough to lose my balance for a second.
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Immediately, I felt my face get warm.
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You know that feeling.
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That instant thought.
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Everyone saw that.
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For the next few minutes, I felt uncomfortable.
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Then something interesting happened.
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I started looking around.
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Nobody seemed to care.
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People were checking their phones, talking to friends, thinking about where they were going.
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And within a few minutes, I realized something.
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Most people were far too busy living their own lives to spend much time thinking about mine.
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That lesson stayed with me, because I think many of us go through life carrying an invisible audience in our heads.
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An audience that is constantly watching, judging, evaluating, criticizing.
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At least that's what it feels like.
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Let me ask you something.
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How many decisions have you delayed because you were worried about what other people might think?
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Maybe speaking English in public.
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Maybe posting something online.
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Maybe changing careers.
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Maybe simply being yourself.
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I think almost everyone has experienced this.
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The fear of judgment is incredibly human.
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We want acceptance.
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We want belonging.
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We want people to like us.
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There's nothing wrong with that.
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The problem begins when the desire for approval becomes stronger than the desire to live authentically,
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because then other people's opinions start controlling your choices.
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And often those opinions aren't even real.
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They're imagined.
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What's interesting is that other people are usually thinking about themselves far more than they're thinking about us.
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They're worried about their appearance, their problems, their mistakes, their future, their relationships.
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In other words, they're doing exactly what we're doing.
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Thinking about their own lives.
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I've noticed this whenever I talk to groups of people.
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Many assume everyone is paying close attention to them.
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Yet almost everyone in the room is secretly wondering how they themselves are being perceived.
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It's almost funny when you think about it.
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A room full of people worrying about being judged by people who are busy worrying about being judged themselves.
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The older I get, the more I realize
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that the spotlight we imagine is usually much brighter than the spotlight that actually exists.
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Most people are not studying your mistakes.
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Most people are not analyzing your every decision.
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And even if they notice something, they usually move on much faster than you think.
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Because they have their own lives to return to.
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Maybe that's where freedom begins.
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Not by becoming fearless, not by making everyone approve of you,
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but by realizing that the audience you're worried about is much smaller than you imagined.
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Because honestly, most people are spending far less time thinking about you than you think.
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And that might be one of the most liberating truths you'll ever discover.
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A man once told me something interesting.
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He said that for most of his life, he had two versions of himself.
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The first version was the person everyone knew.
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Polite, agreeable, easy to get along with.
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The second version was the person he actually was.
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The one with different opinions, different dreams, different preferences.
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And over time, he realized something painful.
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The gap between those two versions kept getting bigger.
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The more he tried to please everyone, the less he recognized himself.
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I think a lot of people can relate to that.
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Maybe not in dramatic ways, but in small, everyday moments.
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Saying yes when you want to say no, pretending to agree when you don't, choosing what feels acceptable instead of what feels authentic.
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At first, those decisions seem harmless.
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They're small, temporary, easy to justify.
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But over the years, they add up.
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And little by little, you begin building a life around other people's expectations instead of your own values.
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That's where the need for approval becomes dangerous.
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Not because approval itself is bad.
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Everyone likes being appreciated.
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Everyone enjoys being accepted.
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The problem begins when approval becomes a requirement, when you need it before taking action.
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Need it before speaking honestly.
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Need it before being yourself.
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As then, your happiness becomes dependent on something you cannot control.
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Other people's opinions.
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And opinions are unpredictable.
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One person will admire your decision.
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Another will criticize it.
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One person will support your dream.
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Another will think it's unrealistic.
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One person will understand you.
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Another won't.
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That's simply how life works.
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What's strange is that many people spend years trying to win a game that cannot be won.
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Universal approval does not exist.
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Think about it.
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Even the most respected people in the world have critics.
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Even kind people get misunderstood.
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Even successful people get judged.
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If they cannot avoid criticism, neither can we.
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The older I get, the more I realize something simple.
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are not judging you from an objective place.
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They're judging through the lens of their own experiences, their own fears, their own beliefs, their own expectations.
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Which means their opinion often says as much about them as it does about you.
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That's an important thing to remember, because once you understand that,
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criticism becomes less frightening, not meaningless, just less powerful.
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There is a huge difference.
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You can listen to feedback without being controlled by it.
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You can learn from others without needing their permission.
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You can respect opinions without surrendering your identity.
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And maybe that's what maturity looks like.
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Not becoming immune to criticism, not pretending you don't care,
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but learning that your life cannot be directed by the fear of disappointing people.
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Because if you spend your entire life trying to keep everyone happy, eventually you'll discover that one person keeps getting neglected.
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You.
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And that's a very high price to pay for approval.
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The goal is not to make everyone understand your choices.
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The goal is to understand them yourself.
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Because the moment you stop needing constant approval, something unexpected happens.
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You breathe a little easier.
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You speak a little more honestly.
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You live a little more freely.
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And that's where confidence quietly begins.
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One of my friends spent nearly a year thinking about leaving a job she no longer enjoyed.
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From the outside, everything looked fine.
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Good salary.
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Stable position.
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Respectable career.
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The kind of job many people would be happy to have.
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But every time we talked, she seemed tired.
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Not physically, emotionally.
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She kept saying the same thing.
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I don't know what I should do.
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At first, that sounded reasonable.
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Big decisions take time.
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But after a while, I noticed something.
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The problem wasn't that she didn't know what she wanted.
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The problem was that she didn't trust herself enough to choose it.
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She kept collecting opinions.
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One person told her to stay.
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Another told her to leave.
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A third person told her to wait.
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A fourth person had a completely different suggestion.
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And the more advice she received, the more confused she became.
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Eventually she laughed and said something I'll never forget.
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I've listened to so many voices that I can't hear my own anymore.
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I think many people live this way, not only with careers, with relationships,
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dreams, life decisions, even small everyday choices.
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We're constantly looking around to see what other people think first.
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Is this okay?
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Is this smart?
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Is this normal?
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Will people approve?
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And while advice can be helpful, there comes a point when too much outside validation creates a new problem.
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You stop developing trust in yourself.
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What's interesting is that confidence is often misunderstood.
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Many people think confident people always know exactly what to do.
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But that hasn't been my experience.
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Most confident people are simply willing to make a decision without having perfect certainty.
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They trust themselves enough to figure things out along the way.
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That's very different.
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Because life rarely provides guarantees.
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You won't always know whether a choice is perfect.
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You won't always know how people will react.
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You won't always know the outcome before you begin.
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At some point, you have to move forward anyway.
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The strange thing is that self-trust grows the same way muscles grow.
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By using it.
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Not by waiting for it.
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Every time you make a decision and handle the consequences, you become a little stronger.
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Every time you solve a problem, you become a little more capable.
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Every time you survive a mistake, you realize you're more resilient than you thought.
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And slowly, something changes.
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You stop asking, what if I fail?
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And start asking, if I fail, can I handle it?
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That's a much more powerful question.
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Because most people already have evidence that they can.
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You've survived difficult days before.
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You've adapted before.
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You've learned before.
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You've recovered before.
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The older I get, the more I realize that confidence isn't built from being right all the time.
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It's built from discovering that being wrong isn't the end of the world.
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You learn, adjust, continue.
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And maybe that's why caring less about what other people think begins with trusting yourself more.
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Not because you'll never need advice.
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Not because you'll never make mistakes.
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but because you finally realize something important.
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The person who has to live your life is you.
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And your voice deserves a seat at the table, too.
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A few years ago, I came across an idea that stayed with me.
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It was surprisingly simple.
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You can control your actions.
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You can control your attitude.
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You can control your decisions.
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But you cannot control what people think about them.
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At first, that sounds obvious.
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But think about how much energy people spend trying to do exactly that.
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Trying to manage impressions.
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Trying to avoid criticism.
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Trying to make sure everyone understands.
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Trying to make sure everyone agrees.
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And honestly, it's exhausting.
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Because the truth is, people will have opinions no matter what you do.
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If you take a risk, some people will say you're reckless.
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If you play it safe, some people will say you're afraid.
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If you're ambitious, some will say you're obsessed with success.
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If you're content, others will say you're not aiming high enough.
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It's almost funny when you see it clearly.
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The same decision can be praised by one person and criticized by another.
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So whose opinion should you live for?
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That's the question.
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I think many people assume freedom comes from finally reaching a point where nobody judges them.
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But that day never arrives.
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There will always be opinions.
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Always.
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The real freedom comes from something else.
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Letting people have them.
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Without allowing those opinions to control your life.
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I remember sitting in a park one afternoon and watching people walk by.
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Hundreds of people.
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Different ages.
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Different styles.
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Different personalities.
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Some looked confident.
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Some looked uncertain.
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Some were laughing.
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Some seemed lost in thought.
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And it struck me that every single person was living inside their own story,
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their own fears, their own dreams, their own struggles.
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Most of them probably weren't thinking about me at all.
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And even if a few were, their thoughts would disappear within minutes.
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Yet so many of us build our lives around avoiding temporary judgments from people who are busy living their own lives.
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That's a heavy burden to carry.
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The older I get, the more I appreciate a quieter kind of confidence.
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Not the confidence that says, everyone must agree with me.
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But the confidence that says, they're allowed to disagree.
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That's different.
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And strangely, it's much more peaceful.
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Because once you stop trying to control other people's opinions, you get your energy back.
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You stop performing.
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You stop explaining every decision.
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You stop seeking permission to be yourself.
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And that creates space.
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Space to grow.
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Space to make mistakes.
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Space to live more honestly.
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Maybe that's the lesson I hope you take from today's episode.
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People will think what they think.
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Some will understand your path.
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Some won't.
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Some will support you.
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Some won't.
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And life goes on.
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Your responsibility is not to manage every opinion.
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Your responsibility is to live a life that feels true to you.
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Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.
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I ho.
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P this episode helped you practice your English, learn a few useful expressions, and maybe feel a little lighter about the opinions you've been carrying.
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If you enjoy these podcasts and want more episodes like this, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed to the channel.
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It helps this community continue growing and I'd love for you to be part of it.
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And before you go, here's one final question.
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What would you do differently this week if you worried just a little less about what other people think?
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This is Jenny.
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Take care of you.
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Ourself.
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Keep learning.
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Keep growing.
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And remember, your life becomes much more peaceful
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when you stop trying to control other people's thoughts and start focusing on your own.
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I'll talk to you again very soon.
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Bye-bye.
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Thank you.
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