Shadowing Practice: How to Stop Caring What Others Think | Jennie’s English Podcast | English & Chill with Jennie - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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Hi, my dear friends.
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Hi, my dear friends.
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It's Jenny here.
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Before anything else, thank you for being here.
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Thank you for listening, supporting the channel, and continuing this English and mindset journey with me.
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Every comment, every message, and every person who chooses to spend a few minutes here means more than you know.
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Today, while scrolling through my phone, I came across an old photo I hadn't seen in years.
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It wasn't a special event.
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No birthday, no big achievement, no life-changing moment.
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Just an ordinary day captured without much thought.
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And yet, looking at it now, it felt strangely precious.
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Maybe that's one of the surprising things about time.
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The moments we think are ordinary often become the ones we miss the most.
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A familiar place, a conversation, a version of ourselves that didn't know how quickly life would move forward.
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It made me think about how differently we see things once enough time has passed.
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And that reminded me of something.
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A few years ago, I was walking through a busy shopping mall when something slightly embarrassing happened.
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I tripped.
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Not dramatically.
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Just enough to lose my balance for a second.
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Immediately, I felt my face get warm.
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You know that feeling.
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That instant thought.
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Everyone saw that.
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For the next few minutes, I felt uncomfortable.
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Then something interesting happened.
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I started looking around.
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Nobody seemed to care.
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People were checking their phones, talking to friends, thinking about where they were going.
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And within a few minutes, I realized something.
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Most people were far too busy living their own lives to spend much time thinking about mine.
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That lesson stayed with me, because I think many of us go through life carrying an invisible audience in our heads.
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An audience that is constantly watching, judging, evaluating, criticizing.
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At least that's what it feels like.
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Let me ask you something.
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How many decisions have you delayed because you were worried about what other people might think?
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Maybe speaking English in public.
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Maybe posting something online.
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Maybe changing careers.
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Maybe simply being yourself.
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I think almost everyone has experienced this.
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The fear of judgment is incredibly human.
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We want acceptance.
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We want belonging.
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We want people to like us.
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There's nothing wrong with that.
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The problem begins when the desire for approval becomes stronger than the desire to live authentically,
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because then other people's opinions start controlling your choices.
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And often those opinions aren't even real.
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They're imagined.
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What's interesting is that other people are usually thinking about themselves far more than they're thinking about us.
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They're worried about their appearance, their problems, their mistakes, their future, their relationships.
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In other words, they're doing exactly what we're doing.
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Thinking about their own lives.
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I've noticed this whenever I talk to groups of people.
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Many assume everyone is paying close attention to them.
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Yet almost everyone in the room is secretly wondering how they themselves are being perceived.
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It's almost funny when you think about it.
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A room full of people worrying about being judged by people who are busy worrying about being judged themselves.
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The older I get, the more I realize
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that the spotlight we imagine is usually much brighter than the spotlight that actually exists.
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Most people are not studying your mistakes.
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Most people are not analyzing your every decision.
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And even if they notice something, they usually move on much faster than you think.
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Because they have their own lives to return to.
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Maybe that's where freedom begins.
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Not by becoming fearless, not by making everyone approve of you,
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but by realizing that the audience you're worried about is much smaller than you imagined.
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Because honestly, most people are spending far less time thinking about you than you think.
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And that might be one of the most liberating truths you'll ever discover.
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A man once told me something interesting.
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He said that for most of his life, he had two versions of himself.
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The first version was the person everyone knew.
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Polite, agreeable, easy to get along with.
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The second version was the person he actually was.
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The one with different opinions, different dreams, different preferences.
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And over time, he realized something painful.
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The gap between those two versions kept getting bigger.
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The more he tried to please everyone, the less he recognized himself.
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I think a lot of people can relate to that.
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Maybe not in dramatic ways, but in small, everyday moments.
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Saying yes when you want to say no, pretending to agree when you don't, choosing what feels acceptable instead of what feels authentic.
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At first, those decisions seem harmless.
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They're small, temporary, easy to justify.
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But over the years, they add up.
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And little by little, you begin building a life around other people's expectations instead of your own values.
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That's where the need for approval becomes dangerous.
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Not because approval itself is bad.
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Everyone likes being appreciated.
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Everyone enjoys being accepted.
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The problem begins when approval becomes a requirement, when you need it before taking action.
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Need it before speaking honestly.
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Need it before being yourself.
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As then, your happiness becomes dependent on something you cannot control.
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Other people's opinions.
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And opinions are unpredictable.
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One person will admire your decision.
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Another will criticize it.
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One person will support your dream.
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Another will think it's unrealistic.
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One person will understand you.
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Another won't.
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That's simply how life works.
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What's strange is that many people spend years trying to win a game that cannot be won.
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Universal approval does not exist.
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Think about it.
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Even the most respected people in the world have critics.
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Even kind people get misunderstood.
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Even successful people get judged.
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If they cannot avoid criticism, neither can we.
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The older I get, the more I realize something simple.
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are not judging you from an objective place.
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They're judging through the lens of their own experiences, their own fears, their own beliefs, their own expectations.
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Which means their opinion often says as much about them as it does about you.
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That's an important thing to remember, because once you understand that,
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criticism becomes less frightening, not meaningless, just less powerful.
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There is a huge difference.
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You can listen to feedback without being controlled by it.
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You can learn from others without needing their permission.
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You can respect opinions without surrendering your identity.
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And maybe that's what maturity looks like.
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Not becoming immune to criticism, not pretending you don't care,
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but learning that your life cannot be directed by the fear of disappointing people.
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Because if you spend your entire life trying to keep everyone happy, eventually you'll discover that one person keeps getting neglected.
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You.
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And that's a very high price to pay for approval.
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The goal is not to make everyone understand your choices.
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The goal is to understand them yourself.
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Because the moment you stop needing constant approval, something unexpected happens.
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You breathe a little easier.
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You speak a little more honestly.
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You live a little more freely.
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And that's where confidence quietly begins.
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One of my friends spent nearly a year thinking about leaving a job she no longer enjoyed.
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From the outside, everything looked fine.
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Good salary.
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Stable position.
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Respectable career.
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The kind of job many people would be happy to have.
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But every time we talked, she seemed tired.
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Not physically, emotionally.
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She kept saying the same thing.
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I don't know what I should do.
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At first, that sounded reasonable.
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Big decisions take time.
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But after a while, I noticed something.
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The problem wasn't that she didn't know what she wanted.
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The problem was that she didn't trust herself enough to choose it.
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She kept collecting opinions.
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One person told her to stay.
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Another told her to leave.
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A third person told her to wait.
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A fourth person had a completely different suggestion.
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And the more advice she received, the more confused she became.
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Eventually she laughed and said something I'll never forget.
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I've listened to so many voices that I can't hear my own anymore.
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I think many people live this way, not only with careers, with relationships,
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dreams, life decisions, even small everyday choices.
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We're constantly looking around to see what other people think first.
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Is this okay?
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Is this smart?
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Is this normal?
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Will people approve?
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And while advice can be helpful, there comes a point when too much outside validation creates a new problem.
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You stop developing trust in yourself.
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What's interesting is that confidence is often misunderstood.
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Many people think confident people always know exactly what to do.
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But that hasn't been my experience.
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Most confident people are simply willing to make a decision without having perfect certainty.
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They trust themselves enough to figure things out along the way.
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That's very different.
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Because life rarely provides guarantees.
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You won't always know whether a choice is perfect.
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You won't always know how people will react.
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You won't always know the outcome before you begin.
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At some point, you have to move forward anyway.
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The strange thing is that self-trust grows the same way muscles grow.
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By using it.
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Not by waiting for it.
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Every time you make a decision and handle the consequences, you become a little stronger.
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Every time you solve a problem, you become a little more capable.
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Every time you survive a mistake, you realize you're more resilient than you thought.
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And slowly, something changes.
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You stop asking, what if I fail?
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And start asking, if I fail, can I handle it?
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That's a much more powerful question.
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Because most people already have evidence that they can.
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You've survived difficult days before.
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You've adapted before.
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You've learned before.
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You've recovered before.
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The older I get, the more I realize that confidence isn't built from being right all the time.
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It's built from discovering that being wrong isn't the end of the world.
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You learn, adjust, continue.
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And maybe that's why caring less about what other people think begins with trusting yourself more.
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Not because you'll never need advice.
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Not because you'll never make mistakes.
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but because you finally realize something important.
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The person who has to live your life is you.
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And your voice deserves a seat at the table, too.
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A few years ago, I came across an idea that stayed with me.
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It was surprisingly simple.
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You can control your actions.
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You can control your attitude.
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You can control your decisions.
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But you cannot control what people think about them.
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At first, that sounds obvious.
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But think about how much energy people spend trying to do exactly that.
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Trying to manage impressions.
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Trying to avoid criticism.
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Trying to make sure everyone understands.
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Trying to make sure everyone agrees.
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And honestly, it's exhausting.
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Because the truth is, people will have opinions no matter what you do.
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If you take a risk, some people will say you're reckless.
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If you play it safe, some people will say you're afraid.
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If you're ambitious, some will say you're obsessed with success.
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If you're content, others will say you're not aiming high enough.
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It's almost funny when you see it clearly.
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The same decision can be praised by one person and criticized by another.
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So whose opinion should you live for?
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That's the question.
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I think many people assume freedom comes from finally reaching a point where nobody judges them.
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But that day never arrives.
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There will always be opinions.
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Always.
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The real freedom comes from something else.
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Letting people have them.
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Without allowing those opinions to control your life.
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I remember sitting in a park one afternoon and watching people walk by.
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Hundreds of people.
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Different ages.
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Different styles.
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Different personalities.
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Some looked confident.
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Some looked uncertain.
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Some were laughing.
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Some seemed lost in thought.
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And it struck me that every single person was living inside their own story,
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their own fears, their own dreams, their own struggles.
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Most of them probably weren't thinking about me at all.
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And even if a few were, their thoughts would disappear within minutes.
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Yet so many of us build our lives around avoiding temporary judgments from people who are busy living their own lives.
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That's a heavy burden to carry.
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The older I get, the more I appreciate a quieter kind of confidence.
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Not the confidence that says, everyone must agree with me.
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But the confidence that says, they're allowed to disagree.
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That's different.
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And strangely, it's much more peaceful.
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Because once you stop trying to control other people's opinions, you get your energy back.
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You stop performing.
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You stop explaining every decision.
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You stop seeking permission to be yourself.
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And that creates space.
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Space to grow.
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Space to make mistakes.
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Space to live more honestly.
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Maybe that's the lesson I hope you take from today's episode.
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People will think what they think.
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Some will understand your path.
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Some won't.
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Some will support you.
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Some won't.
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And life goes on.
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Your responsibility is not to manage every opinion.
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Your responsibility is to live a life that feels true to you.
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Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.
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I ho.
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P this episode helped you practice your English, learn a few useful expressions, and maybe feel a little lighter about the opinions you've been carrying.
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If you enjoy these podcasts and want more episodes like this, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed to the channel.
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It helps this community continue growing and I'd love for you to be part of it.
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And before you go, here's one final question.
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What would you do differently this week if you worried just a little less about what other people think?
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This is Jenny.
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Take care of you.
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Ourself.
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Keep learning.
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Keep growing.
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And remember, your life becomes much more peaceful
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when you stop trying to control other people's thoughts and start focusing on your own.
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I'll talk to you again very soon.
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Bye-bye.
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Thank you.
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About This Lesson
In this lesson, you will practice your English speaking skills by exploring the theme of self-acceptance and the fear of judgment. Guided by Jennie's reflections, you will improve your understanding of how to speak freely without being hindered by what others think. This exercise not only focuses on enhancing your vocabulary and pronunciation but also encourages you to adopt a more confident attitude in your English speaking practice. Through Jennie’s storytelling, you’ll learn to distinguish genuine thoughts from imagined perceptions that often hold us back.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Precious - something that is very valuable or important.
- Embarrassing - causing someone to feel awkward or self-conscious.
- Invisible audience - a perceived group of people that we think are watching or judging us.
- Authentically - being true to oneself; genuine.
- Acceptance - the process of being received as adequate or suitable.
- Belonging - the feeling of being accepted as a member of a group.
- Judgment - the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.
- Worrying - feeling anxious or concerned about something.
Practice Tips
To make the most out of this lesson, use the shadowing technique. Start by listening to Jennie's podcast calmly, focusing on her tone and pace. Since the video has a thoughtful and reflective tone, aim to emulate her delivery as you repeat her sentences. Don’t worry if you find it challenging at first; this is a natural part of the shadow speak process.
Begin on a slower playback speed if necessary, then gradually increase the speed as you become more comfortable. As you practice, pay close attention to her pronunciation and intonation. This will help you develop a natural rhythm and improve your fluency, which is crucial for IELTS speaking practice. Use walls or mirrors to practice speaking aloud, helping you visualize and internalize your speech. Consistent practice will empower you to express yourself more freely, enabling you to feel confident speaking English without the weight of judgment from an imagined audience.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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