تدريب Shadowing: How to Stop Rambling (Even If Your Mind Goes Blank) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

You know that horrible feeling when your boss asks you a question and your brain just locks up?

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You know that horrible feeling when your boss asks you a question and your brain just locks up?

You had the answer two minutes ago, but the moment everyone stares at you, nothing comes to mind.

And there's this painful silence in the room.

And now you're thinking to yourself, great, now I look as stupid as I think I already am.

You feel terrified to embarrass yourself, but your body just doesn't give you a chance.

It freezes up, your heart starts pounding even louder and louder and louder.

and instead of you speaking your thoughts with clarity, you ramble uncontrollably.

But here's what makes this so frustrating.

You're not stupid.

I've seen so many comments on Reddit of people turning down promotions, staying quiet and silent in meetings,

and then watching less qualified colleagues get ahead while they stay stuck in their career.

So I'm gonna tell you something that you need to hear, mate.

This isn't a you problem.

It's a nervous system problem.

Your brain thinks it's being attacked.

It redirects blood flow away from your prefrontal cortex, the part that thinks clearly, and it moves into a fight or flight mode,

which often causes you to freeze and your body starts to think it's fighting a two-headed dragon.

Whereas in reality, someone just asked you a question.

So the goal here is to stop that automatic fight

or flight response anytime you're put under pressure and create a new response, One that allows you to be in control instead of allowing the moment to control you.

I'm showing you the exact process I've battle-tested in boardrooms, on thousands of stages, and even on some of the biggest podcasts in the world.

Let's solve this once and for all.

It's a three-part process that only takes five seconds to execute in the moment.

And if you're thinking, but Vin, what if five seconds isn't enough time?

Don't worry, I'll share with you a sneaky strategy

that you can use to buy yourself a little more time without looking unprepared

and I'll share those with you later in the video.

When you start to improve how you show up in these high pressure situations, people will no longer see you as being incompetent or that quiet person that's hard to work with.

They'll start to perceive you as being confident, articulate and as leadership material.

So the three parts are, one, psychological, two, physiological and three, structural.

And I'll show you how to put all three of these things together, otherwise they don't work.

Part one, psychological.

So your mind goes blank.

Everyone's looking at you.

And here's what most people do.

They start to panic.

They rush to feel the silence.

They start speaking their thinking process.

And it comes out as rambling just to kill the awkward silence.

But now it's even more awkward and then it just makes everything worse so what do you do instead you pause

yep you pause I'm talking about a five second pause here now I know what you're thinking then won't

that be awkward but let me say this it's only awkward

if you make it awkward I'm going to say it again it's only awkward

if you make it awkward pausing is powerful here's why

when you pause intentionally it makes you look thoughtful it signals to everyone in the room

that you're calm and you're processing the question

that you're thinking deeply about the question the reason why it might feel weird to you currently is

because most of us have been conditioned to feel every single moment of silence we're terrified of it

but the most powerful powerful communicators in the world, they own the pause and they're not afraid of the silence.

Imagine you asked me a question and I responded immediately like this.

Vin, I want you to tell me, what are your thoughts on why growth has stalled this quarter?

Oh, you know, there's so many reasons.

Like there's the economy's been up and it's kind of been down as well.

And there's a lot of moving parts.

And you know, like we're just in a bit of a transition phase.

Yeah.

I like to say it's a combination of everything

that you've been doing and I've been doing and it's the best that we can do.

And at the end of the day, it is what it is. Did you notice it?

It feels surface level.

It feels rushed.

It feels like no thought was put into the response.

Now imagine if I paused intentionally for five seconds to think about my response.

What are your thoughts on why growth has stalled this quarter?

Do you notice the difference?

Need I say more?

When you pause and then you respond, people are thinking in their head, damn, they're being really thoughtful about their answer.

They really care about getting it right.

And psychologically, a pause actually works in your favor because it gives your brain a moment to reset.

And for your audience, it builds anticipation.

It makes them lean in because now they're waiting to hear what you're going to say.

And that process alone heightens the perceived value of your answer.

Now, pausing can help.

But if your heart is racing a million miles per hour, then you're not going to be able to say a word without fumbling, which is why part two is critical.

If you're like most people, when you're put on the spot all of a sudden, not only does your heart race, but your breathing starts to become really shallow.

You start to breathe from your chest and not from your diaphragm.

And when you do this, you're starving your brain of oxygen.

Your prefrontal cortex, again, that's the part of your brain that helps you think clearly and speak clearly.

That part shuts down.

This is when your mind goes blank.

So part one, pause.

Part two, you need to take a deep breath.

Let your shoulders come down and move them back.

Loosen that jaw of yours.

Way too many people walk through the day with their jaws clenched and then move into the thinker pose,

which now gives you context for the five second pause that you're taking because it shows visually that you're thinking.

Otherwise if you don't go into think a pose, you don't do this, then sometimes it can look like you're lagging or you're frozen.

And the beautiful thing about all of this is you can do all of

that in high stakes moments and it doesn't seem unnatural.

And when you do this you activate your parasympathetic nervous system which slows down your heart rate.

Deep breathing signals to your body that you're calm and when your body is calm your mind can actually function well.

At first it's going to feel a little bit weird

but remember it's not weird it's just unfamiliar and the more you do it the more automatic this starts to become.

So practice this often.

Part three.

Structural.

So now you've paused.

You've taken that deep breath.

Your mind is clear.

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Your body is calm.

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But then the question is what do you do with that time and space now that you've got in your mind?

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What do you do with your mind?

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This is where frameworks come in.

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You see most people ramble when they get asked a really difficult question

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because as they're trying to answer

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that big question they end up speaking out their thinking process and that's why it sounds like it's all over the place.

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This is why we pause before we speak so we can do our thinking so we can apply frameworks,

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distill the thinking and then speak and when you follow this formula What you say sounds clear, coherent, and concise.

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The simplest framework you can apply in these high-pressure situations, when someone asks you something very difficult,

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broad, and complex, is this, the one thing.

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Let me show you exactly how this one thing framework works.

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What are your thoughts on why growth has stalled this quarter?

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The one thing that's really stalling our growth this quarter is a drop in high quality leads at the top of funnel.

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Once we fix that, we'll start to see more conversions immediately.

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Now that's what I'm talking about.

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This type of communication, that's what gets people like him promoted.

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See how seamless my response was?

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By starting my response with the one thing, it created a constraint.

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I can't talk about the 20 things that's currently going on in my mind.

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I had to prioritize the 20 things, pick the one most impactful and important thing.

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And then this constraint that I set in the first three words of my sentence

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allows me now to focus and be more concise and coherent.

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I use this and do this all the time.

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With frameworks, you're now able to build your response in real time.

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And it sounds like you've got your shit together.

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And the one thing is a part of a much bigger framework called 3-2-1.

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And I teach this in depth in a free two hour training to help you speak with more structure, more clarity and more confidence while under pressure.

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We nerd out on many other frameworks during this training.

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So if you want to learn more, click the link in the description below or scan the QR code that's currently on screen.

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Now I did promise you earlier, Vin, what do I do if I need more than five seconds?

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What if it's not enough?

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Well, there's one thing you can do here.

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You can ask a question to get more clarity.

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Now this does two things.

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One, it buys you an extra 10 to 15 seconds for you to think as you're asking the question

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and as they're replying to that question.

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Two, it gives you an opportunity to clarify and create more clarity before you formulate your answer, which ultimately improves the quality of your answer.

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So this is an amazing technique.

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For example, if someone asked me, Vin, can you help me understand content marketing? marketing, I can ask a question while I'm trying to formulate my answer

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and get more clarity at the same time by asking in return.

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Sure, but first tell me more.

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Are you wanting to understand content marketing from a high level

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or is there a specific platform you'd like me to focus my answer on?

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See what I just did there?

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I'm not stalling for stalling sake, I'm asking a question seeking clarity and the byproduct, I've actually just bought myself more time.

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And while they're answering you, you're selecting the optimal framework,

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this one right here, the optimal framework that you're going to use to package your reply with.

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And if you came along to our training that's down below or the QR code, you're going to have three incredible frameworks that you can use any time moving forward into the future.

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So there you go.

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If you master these three things, owning the pause to give you time to think, diaphragmatic breathing to calm your body, and using frameworks to calm your mind,

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you'll never freeze under pressure again.

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You'll stop turning down opportunities.

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You'll stop watching other people get ahead while you're stuck on the start line.

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And you'll start showing up as the confident, articulate person you know you can be.

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Click subscribe, hit the thumbs up.

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Come on.

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And if you want to go deeper down the rabbit hole of communication, we've got a beautiful video lined up for you just here.

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Click that.

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تدريب Shadowing: How to Stop Rambling (Even If Your Mind Goes Blank) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

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