تدريب Shadowing: V.O. Love at first sight: what does science say? Helen Fisher, neurobiologist and anthropologist - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو

What is love?

Love is a lot of different things to different people.

But as a scientist, I think it's basically comes from three different brain circuits.

Sex drive, feelings of intense romantic love, and feelings of deep attachment.

They're different brain systems.

I think the sex drive gets you out there looking for a whole range of partners.

I think romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy on just one at a time. And

that third brain system of attachment enables you to stick with

this person at least long enough to raise a single child through infancy.

So most people when they ask about love, they're asking about romantic love.

And that has a very particular number of traits.

The first thing that happens when you fall in love with somebody is somebody takes on what I call special meaning.

Everything about them is special.

Their car is different from every other car in the parking lot, the street they live on, the music that they like everything about them becomes special.

And then you focus on them.

You can list what you don't like about them, but then you sweep that aside and focus on what you do.

So love at first sight is actually very easy to explain.

You know, I and my colleagues have put over 100 people into a brain scanner using functional MRI.

And we found it's a very primitive pathway through the brain.

Romantic love is a very primitive, basic pathway through the brain.

As a matter of fact, the basic factory that generates dopamine that gives you

that feeling lies right near the factories that orchestrate thirst

and hunger thirst and hunger keep you alive today romantic love drives you to form a relationship

and put your dna into tomorrow so we call it a survival mechanism

and it can be triggered instantly you know just like fear can be triggered instantly.

Romantic love can be triggered instantly.

As you grow up, you build what I call an unconscious love map,

an unconscious and conscious list of what you're looking for in a partner.

And then when the timing is right,

somebody walks in to the grocery store or or the music event,

or the museum, or the restaurant, or wherever you are.

They fit within your love map.

Right age, size, shape, background, come up and smile at you, flirt with you in certain ways.

It can trigger that brain circuitry for romantic love and you're going to fall in love immediately.

But the timing has to be right.

Proximity has to be right.

The person has to fit within your love map.

And in my case, lighting would be good.

But the bottom line is we're built to fall in love.

What's interesting is the brain circuitry for attachment takes a lot longer to set in.

So you can fall madly in love with somebody before you feel any form of attachment to them.

Attachment takes time.

You get to get to know the person.

You know, you got to know a lot about somebody.

What we found in our data, when we put people into the brain scanner who had just fallen happily and madly in love,

brain circuitry for romantic love, So easy to see.

But the brain region linked with feelings of attachment did not activate at all.

It was only after several months, often after about 17 months, when you really get to know somebody, you begin to trust them.

You begin to have confidence in them.

You respect them and they respect you.

They make you laugh.

You do things together.

You begin to feel that cosmic connection and the attachment is growing then.

So romantic love, easy to explain boom, can trigger instantly, just like the fear system or the anger system, but attachment grows.

The idea that love is blind, does also have a neural foundation?

Yes, there's brain regions right behind your forehead linked with decision-making and planning.

And activity in those brain regions begins to shut down.

So you can overlook all kinds of things about the person.

Love can be blind because those brain centers aren't activating and saying, wait a minute, you know, he's married or wait a minute, he lives in a different country,

he won't be back, it'll be a summer fling.

Wait a minute.

Those brain regions, you know, you're overcome with, oh, he's so cute, he's so funny, he's so nice, he's such a good kisser.

And the brain regions for decision making are really sort of shutting down.

This is one of the reasons that I tell people, you know, if you fall madly in love with somebody, get to know them for a couple of years before you

really settle in with them as you get to know somebody as the attachment grows

or as you begin to see real problems in the relationship

because activity will come back in those decision-making areas

and you can begin to see a little more clearly

but love is blind as a matter of fact you know

before i put people into the brain scanner i would ask them a lot of questions

because these are expensive machines it takes a lot of time got to make sure they're in love

and i would ask them what do you not like about him or her.

And they could list what they didn't like, but then they swept that aside and just focused on what they did like.

Love is blind.

Chaucer was right.

Thank you.

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تدريب Shadowing: V.O. Love at first sight: what does science say? Helen Fisher, neurobiologist and anthropologist - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو

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