Shadowing-Übung: Find Me Someone To Date Or I'll Fire You All - The Office US - Englisch Sprechen Lernen mit YouTube

Ladies and gentlemen, would you please open your supply catalogs and kindly turn to page 85.

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Ladies and gentlemen, would you please open your supply catalogs and kindly turn to page 85.

Yo, is this his new chair?

No, he hasn't picked one yet. That.

When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair.

Then I'll have two chairs.

Only one to go.

I am ready to start dating again.

Getting back on the market.

So, FYI, for those of you who are thinking about fixing me up with any of your friends,

use the woman on page 85 as a template.

That will be all.

Listen, man, I am completely over, Chan.

So, would you set me up?

If I had somebody to set you up with, Michael, then I'd take her for myself.

I thought you were engaged.

Nope.

Stacy broke up with me.

What?

God, that's terrible, man.

Yeah, she's crazy.

Um, are you still on good terms with any of her friends?

Not anymore.

It's a bitter situation.

Oh, she's...

You don't deserve her.

All right.

Oh, little Oscar Mayer Wiener.

I love her.

I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl girl-type friends who trust you implicitly

because they know you'd never touch them because of your condition.

Um...

Michael?

What?

I have a friend who's single.

Oh.

Sandy.

She's gorgeous, and she's got a feisty personality, too.

Hmm, feisty.

So she's not jolly or sassy?

Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?

No, she's a professional softball player.

Ooh.

Catcher or infield?

I don't know, Michael.

Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer?

Could we share a rowboat?

Could a rowboat support her?

What are you asking?

I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking.

Would an average-size rowboat support her without capsizing?

It bothers me that you're not answering the question.

No, all right?

No, she can't fit in a rowboat.

Damn!

I knew it!

I knew it, Phyllis!

Okay, what is wrong with these people?

I would do anything for them, and they're just hanging me out to dry.

Dating shouldn't be hard for somebody like me, but it is.

And you know why?

Because nobody here is willing to help me.

Nothing would ever get done in this office without a formal request, would it?

Well, fine.

Here goes.

I don't think that this is...

Now, okay, I know that this is probably not appropriate. But I need help.

because I want to play ball with my kids before I get too old.

And before that happens, I need to get laid.

And before that happens, I need to be in love.

And I don't want to hear, I don't know, I can't help.

No, no, I'm a catch, and I am not going to be the one who got away.

So this is what we're going to do.

Dwight is going to hand out index cards, and I want you all to write down the name of

an eligible woman for me to date by the end of the day.

No, by the end of the hour, or you are fired.

Write legibly, people.

Okay.

Wendy.

Hot and juicy redhead.

Give this a try.

Wendy's.

Hello, Wendy.

This is Kevin's friend, Michael.

This isn't Wendy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Could you put her on, please?

Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant.

Damn it, Kevin.

Okay.

Um, could I just have a Frosty and a baked potato, please?

You have to come to the restaurant to order food.

Well, send somebody to pick it up.

Just have it ready.

It's ready now.

Well, put it aside.

Um...

Okay, I have collected the rest of the ladies.

Good.

100

Because this batch was awful.

101

Um, this one says chair model.

102

I wrote that.

103

Michael, you shouldn't have to settle.

104

This is my pledge to you.

105

I will find her, and I will bring her to you.

106

And as God is my witness, she shall bear your fruit. That sounds good.

107

Go get her.

108

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

109

First, go to Wendy's, get my food, come back and then go.

110

So, Pammy, are you still liking sales?

111

Yeah, it's exciting.

112

You know, Michael and I were talking and maybe if you put a little more face-to-face time with your clients, you could improve your sales.

113

Pam, sales are fine, actually.

114

I just want you to succeed, Pammy.

115

You know what?

116

We shouldn't even be talking about business today.

117

Thank you.

118

Today's about family.

119

Why did I get in the car?

120

I could have struggled.

121

I have a whistle in my purse.

122

I didn't even blow it.

123

Wow!

124

Michael, you did all this?

125

Not about taking credit.

126

Let's just say we all did it.

127

Well, thank you, all of you.

128

Well, it was actually me alone, so...

129

Oh, look at this place.

130

Really makes me want to go to Italy someday.

131

Oh, you'll love it.

132

You can have my guidebooks.

133

I think I'm done with this really long plane rights.

134

Thank you for...

135

Thanks for lending me the book.

136

So, Mom, which birthday are we celebrating this year?

137

Oh, sticking with 49.

138

49 again?

139

That's nine years in a row.

140

This is now our longest family tradition.

141

That's funny.

142

Well, as long as you're running numbers, Pam, help me out with this one.

143

Let's see, honey, you're six months pregnant, but you've only been married for 30 days, so what does that add up to?

144

Ooh, burn.

145

Burn on you.

146

And a little bit on me, too.

147

You're 54 years old.

148

No, I'm 58.

149

You're 58 years old?

150

Uh-huh.

151

Congratulations.

152

The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you.

153

And I am not robbing the cradle.

154

If anything, I am robbing the grave.

155

Mom, have you decided what you want to be called?

156

I like Nana, but I also like the classic Grandma.

157

Please be Grandma.

158

Definitely Grandma.

159

I want you to be Grandma.

160

Oh, Michael, what do you think?

161

Grandma? That?

162

Yay, Grandma.

163

So we should get the check?

164

What about your gift, Michael?

165

Oh, no, no, no. No. It's stupid.

166

You'd hate it.

167

I hate it.

168

I'm sure I won't.

169

Yes, you will.

170

He locked himself in his office all morning, working on it.

171

Gimme.

172

Look at this wrapping paper.

173

It's got the word love on it in every language.

174

I literally...

175

I put no thought into the wrapping at all.

176

Might as well have been toilet paper.

177

A scrapbook of our first memories by Michael Gary Scott from my girlfriend Helene on your birthday.

178

That's just an arbitrary title.

179

Okay, here's a penny.

180

What's that from?

181

Penny for your thoughts.

182

It was from the wishing well at the mall.

183

You threw it in, I went back later, weighed it in, and I found it.

184

That's amazing!

185

It's not amazing at all.

186

It's sort of weird that I went and did that.

187

And now your wish won't come true, so that blows.

188

A poem.

189

Oh, that I plagiarized, I think.

190

I cannot go to school today, said little Peggy Ann McKay.

191

She doesn't understand.

192

Yeah.

193

I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash, and purple bumps, and my teachers really mean happy birthday.

194

I love you, Helene.

195

It's really nice, Michael.

196

Wow.

197

I think it sucks.

198

Helene, I think you're a wonderful person, and I...

199

God, I've enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much, but I have to consider Pam's feelings.

200

As a friend and a co-worker, I cannot in good conscience continue to date you when I know what this is doing to her.

201

Michael.

202

Michael, it's okay.

203

No, it's not.

204

I know that it took me a little while to come around, and it's still a little weird to get used to, but you obviously make my mom very happy.

205

And that makes me happy.

206

Wow, that just.. you've really grown.

207

Well...

208

Oh, thank you, Pam.

209

And I hope you were as gracious during this next part.

210

Helene, once again, you are a wonderful person, and you have lived a great life, and I envy it.

211

And I want it someday, but just in the future.

212

You need somebody who understands your references.

213

Who is Kafkaesque?

214

I've never...

215

I don't know him.

216

There's another woman, and her name is Italy, and skydiving, and bungee jumping.

217

Okay, so...

218

And I want kids.

219

And you, unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.

220

Michael...

221

It's not my decision, it's Mother Nature.

222

And Mother has very strict rules about for...

223

Utility.

224

Oh, yeah, I got it.

225

I'm 58.

226

What am I supposed to do now?

227

Well, Javi...

228

Stop.

229

How do I feel about losing the sale?

230

It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly flopped, and drowned.

231

You know who we always lose out to?

232

Staples, the big guys big guys osprey they're a small company

233

they're smaller than we are what's our excuse how do we

234

combat this guy stanley how do we combat him you sell

235

better oh okay you know what you clearly don't care

236

so why don't you just leave i would like to stay this pertains to me why don't you go outside

237

and take a shot of insulin

238

and have a nap okay why do you always assume i

239

have diabetes i don't know your frame your build why don't you have a glass of apple juice

240

and tell me you're not a diabetic See, I could tell by the sound you made when you stood up that you have...

241

Okay, yes, Phyllis?

242

I could try to seduce him.

243

Oh, my God!

244

I know how we can learn his tricks.

245

What I'm about to show you is of the utmost secrecy.

246

Is that your office?

247

Yes, Jim.

248

And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office.

249

We lure Danny to it and watch him sell.

250

Oh.

251

I'm out of here.

252

This is weird.

253

You know what this is?

254

This is a stinger.

255

The what?

256

Like a movie.

257

I think you mean The Sting.

258

Paul Newman, Robert Redford, the bank robber, they'll call it The Sting.

259

The Sting.

260

You're two o'clock?

261

Thanks, hon. Meredith was the perfect choice to play the head of the company.

262

Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny, and that's it.

263

That's really all we were looking for.

264

Danny Cordray, it's great to meet you.

265

Meredith Van Helsing, we used to meet you.

266

Meredith Van Helsing?

267

Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.

268

Okay, but what is he more famous for?

269

Shh.

270

Hey, it's my mug.

271

You know this isn't real TV, right?

272

Yes.

273

Hello.

274

Oh, no. No. No, don't.

275

People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.

276

Testify.

277

Okay, he's not that good-looking.

278

Yeah.

279

I understand why everybody's obsessed with this.

280

He is that good-looking.

281

He's very, very handsome.

282

That's a great set of shoulders you got there.

283

What is that?

284

Genetics, creatine...

285

Sorry.

286

Yeah.

287

Pull it together, all right?

288

Stop looking at him.

289

I'm sorry.

290

You're here to sell me some paper.

291

Well, actually, uh, no, Miss Van Helsing, that's not why I'm here.

292

I'm here to meet you, see if we'd be a, you know, good fit.

293

What do you mean?

294

Oh, my God.

295

He's making her sell to him.

296

We should think of this as a first date.

297

I think it's going very well.

298

How about you?

299

Real well.

300

Feels more like a third date to me.

301

There you go.

302

Shame.

303

Then let me do this.

304

You know, what is with this desk keeping us so far apart?

305

I've never been a desk man.

306

Always traveling on the road.

307

Hey, come on.

308

Why not?

309

Huh?

310

You know, I get this.

311

Oh, man.

312

So, what's your drink?

313

Your vodka man?

314

Me too.

315

We gotta get someone else in there right now.

316

You're an exec at Pennsylvania Solar Tech.

317

That sounds fake.

318

I told you, you're an exec at Stark Industries, a corporation you inherited from your father.

319

Here's the story.

320

They need Meredith somewhere else ASAP, okay?

321

So you're taking over, you just gotta get her out of there.

322

As soon as you can.

323

What kind of guy can do that, then what?

324

Then make him pitch to you.

325

You gotta see what he's got, exactly.

326

Okay, and remember, you can do this.

327

You're not gay.

328

Stop it.

329

It's going to be great.

330

Listen, if anything else happens, just roll with it.

331

Meredith.

332

Oh, Manuel.

333

This is Manuel, my cleaning man.

334

He doesn't speak any English.

335

Hola, ¿qué tal?

336

¿Cómo estás?

337

Manuel, clino el window.

338

You don't need to speak.

339

Close the yard.

340

Okay, you're a young hotshot from Stark Industries.

341

You've just bought this company.

342

Meredith is fired.

343

It's a whole new regime.

344

He's got to pitch to you now.

345

Okay, Stark Industries isn't real.

346

I run Google.

347

Larry and Sergei brought me in.

348

Great, sounds awesome.

349

Just have him pitch to you.

350

Don't let us down. Will do.

351

Won't do.

352

Yeah, sure.

353

Smell like a Scorpio.

354

This is Esteban, another cleaning man.

355

He doesn't speak English either.

356

Esteban El Floro.

357

You know what?

358

I may have parked my car in a compact space and I hate when I see others do that.

359

Danny, I feel a real connection to you and I gotta get real.

360

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going in.

361

I'm going in.

362

No, stop it!

363

Stop, stop!

364

Oh my God!

365

Okay, stop it, stop it!

366

Stop it!

367

Gross!

368

Stop it!

369

Please, everybody stop!

370

Michael Scott?

371

I said stop.

372

Your journey begins now.

373

Do you know where we are, Tim?

374

I know where we're not.

375

I hold in my hand a beet seed.

376

Take it.

377

Ah! When...

378

Damn it.

379

And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.

380

I think you know what you're saying.

381

Smells pretty bad, doesn't it?

382

Uh-huh.

383

It's called bull crap and a client can smell it from a mile away.

384

Gotcha.

385

Oh, hey, I forgot something in my car.

386

I'll be right back.

387

Okay. Of course.

388

Hey, Dwight, you're a great salesman.

389

Can you teach me?

390

Sure, Ryan.

391

I'll make you kneel on common or abandon you in a bee field.

392

Oh, that sounds great, Dwight.

393

I really appreciate that.

394

Thank you so much for your mentorship.

395

Congratulations, resourceful salesman.

396

You have passed the second challenge.

397

Welcome to Shrewd Farm.

398

Please be seated.

399

What was that?

400

Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground.

401

Is that your cousin, Moe's?

402

Yes.

403

Moe's is my cousin, and he lives here.

404

He will always be my best friend.

405

Unless things go well with Ryan today, in which case I won't hang out with Moe's so much anymore.

406

What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin?

407

Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.

408

Wrong.

409

Flash floods.

410

What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin's suicide?

411

Depression.

412

Wrong.

413

He hated himself.

414

What is the Dharma Initiative?

415

Final question, young Ryan Howard.

416

What is Michael Scott's greatest fear?

417

Loneliness.

418

Maybe women.

419

Wrong.

420

He's not afraid of anything.

421

Also, I would have accepted snakes.

422

Fear is what it's all about.

423

You cannot sell while undergoing fear.

424

You need to vanquish fear.

425

One must wrestle fear to the ground.

426

You will now wrestle my cousin Moe.

427

No, okay, all right, all right.

428

It's over.

429

It's over.

430

It's over.

431

This is over, okay?

432

No, just don't!

433

You're a freak!

434

I'm not doing this anymore and this is over.

435

Ryan, you don't have to wrestle him.

436

Ryan, just get in the car.

437

Ryan?

438

Bye, Ryan.

439

He seemed nice.

440

Where are all the animals?

441

Ryan, come on.

442

I am sorry.

443

I am sorry.

444

Modes is sorry, too.

445

Look, he sent over a basket with eggs and some fat back bacon, and look, something he whittled.

446

They really didn't like me.

447

They did not.

448

They didn't have to say it to your face.

449

I don't get it.

450

I don't get what I did wrong.

451

Not everything's a lesson, Ryan.

452

Sometimes you just fail.

453

It's those online paper jerks.

454

The whole business is changing.

455

You know what?

456

They're going to be screwed once this whole internet bad is over.

457

What are you doing?

458

Oh, no, no, no!

459

No!

460

Ryan!

461

Yes!

462

Ryan the temp!

463

Yeah!

464

Come on!

465

Come on!

466

Courtesy of Dunder Mifflin!

467

Oh, come on.

468

Drive.

469

You do it.

470

Thank you.

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