Shadowing-Übung: The One Thing That Will Make Everyone Like You - Englisch Sprechen Lernen mit Video

welcome to lesson 3 of the BeeFriend course in our previous lesson we learned about the formula of friendship which are the four factors that determine how deep our relationships with others go however if all you do is employ these

four factors you are not guaranteed to befriend others this is because there is one rule that you have to stick to in order to make sure that you are developing friendships and not making enemies instead it's called the golden

rule of friendship now a couple of years ago I hung out with this girl let's call her Stacey who told me that she struggled with making long-lasting relationships Stacey didn't have any childhood friends she didn't have any high-school buddies and even her co-workers rarely asked her

to hang out she always felt like the people she befriended did not stay loyal to her and at the time I didn't know what she was doing wrong but after years of learning about social skills and thinking back to the way Stacey interacted around others I started to realize that it was because she always

broke the golden rule of friendship the golden rule of friendship states that if you want people to like you you have to make them feel good if you make people feel good they will want to be around you more but if you make them feel bad

they will avoid you it sounds pretty simple but there are many many ways that people accidentally break this rule in fact Stacey broke this rule in three different ways see the thing is Stacey had what we new

yorkers call a resting bitchface it's a combination of a subtle frown combined with glazed over eyes plastered on your face 24/7 it kind of looks something along the lines of this this was the first way that Stacy broke the golden

rule of friendship by having bad body language see the body language she portrayed made it seem like she wasn't interested in you what you were saying and that she was unhappy when you interacted with her when you speak to

someone and they look unhappy and uninterested you think to yourself oh is what I'm saying boring is she even listening to me should I just leave and if this happens over and over again you will instinctively try to avoid them in

the future nobody wants to talk to someone who seems uninterested in whatever they're saying now you're probably wondering improvement bill what sort of body language should we be using to prevent something like this what are some examples of good body language what are some examples of bad ones well don't

worry because we're gonna dive deep into that with multiple videos in the next portion of the befriend course but for now let's talk about the second way Stacy broke the golden rule of friendship so I remember a specific interaction that I had with Stacy I was telling her

story of how I did poorly in high school how I didn't have a good social life but also how I was able to make changes and get out of rock bottom now this is a pretty personal story that I hold dear to my heart it's a story

that I'm very proud of and it's a story that I seldom tell people but at around the halfway point before I could finish my story Stacey butted in and she started telling me a story about her struggles in high school how she had a harder time than me making friends and how her rock bottom

was way worse than mine the second way that Stacy broke the golden rule of friendship was by making everything about herself see the thing is the majority of people enjoy talking about themselves it feels good to tell a story

and have people listen to you but when someone cuts you off and proceeds to tell their own story they're doing two things number one they're telling you that they don't care about you or your story which is a terrible feeling and

number two they're telling you that they want you to listen to them to make them feel good and not the other way around if you constantly redirect the conversation back to yourself you're essentially asking everyone else to give

you something without getting anything back in return I think this was actually the biggest reason as to why Stacy didn't have any long-lasting relationships because she made everything about herself now before we

get into the third and final way Stacy screwed up I do want to mention something really really fast we all know going through a course like the friend course or the team course is effective but it's nowhere nearly as powerful as committing to a hands-on coaching program if you are interested in this

and you're willing to invest money in yourself please sign up for my mailing list using the link in the description box below to receive future updates now there are thousands of different things you can talk about when you hang out with someone else and the sort of topics you choose to discuss can have a huge

impact on the overall interaction Stacy like to talk about her past how she used to be skinnier how she used to have nicer hair when we ate together she liked to complain about the food and how the service that this one wasn't so

great she was super critical of everything the third and final way Stacy broke the golden rule of friendship was by talking too much about negative things think about this when you talk about something negative what sort of emotion are you bringing to the table while depending on

what you're talking about it could be a wide variety of things such as anger disgust jealousy sadness etc but all of these emotions have one thing in common they don't feel good when you talk about negative things you're not only sharing

the words and stories but also the emotions that go along with them so if you tell a story about how your dog died people will feel your sadness if you tell a story about how your girlfriend cheated on you people will feel some of your anger there's a time and place for stories

like this but you have to be very careful about these types of things especially if you've just started to get to know someone because they make people feel bad and if you do this too often they will start to associate you with

all of those negative emotions and avoid you if you look at the formula of friendship Stacey was doing all of the right things she would go partying with people quite often so she had good proximity good frequency good duration

and good intensity however she did not employ the golden rule of friendship in fact she broke the rule over and over again which meant that she eventually made more enemies than friends people started hating her because she stuck to

the formula friendship but made them feel bad at the same time think of the golden rule of friendship as a plus or negative sign in front of our equation so far if you stick to it your friendships will grow but if you break

it people will start to hate you it's a simple simple rule that you must keep in mind during all of your future interactions now before we start talking about body language there is one more foundational concept that I must teach

you it's something so powerful that it can potentially two times three times heck even five times the speed of which you can befriend others and deepen your relationships with them it's the importance of value make sure you

subscribe and hit the bell icon because we're gonna cover that in our next lesson and I don't want you to miss it besides that guys stay tuned

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