Shadowing Practice: The Science of charisma & how to improve it | Jefferson Fisher Clips - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vanessa, what can somebody do listening right now?

Can they do to improve their charisma on somebody?

If we can define what charisma is, that would be cool because we feel, really we feel it more than we know it.

Like I just, there's something about this person.

I just like them.

You might say they have charisma.

People tend to like this particular person.

What is charisma to you and what are some ways that we can improve on it?

I love very charismatic people.

In fact, one of the earliest studies I did in my career was studying highly charismatic people, where I did a very simple experiment.

I asked people, what is charisma?

So they came into my lab.

I said, what is charisma?

And it was amazing how hard it was for people to answer that question.

On average, it took people about 15 seconds to answer that question, 15.7 seconds.

And they often could not come up with a very steady definition of it.

And it varied widely.

The second question we asked was, who is the most charismatic person you know?

This question was super easy for people to answer.

It took people less than three seconds to answer that question.

They could immediately think of a parent or a teacher or a friend or a boss.

And I thought, exactly as you said, charisma is this very hard thing to define, yet we know at the moment we see it.

And that made me think for a long time that charisma, you had to be born with it.

It was an innate trait.

You either had it or you didn't.

And I said, well, I don't have it.

So there's that.

And then I discovered a study, this is by Dr. Susan Fisk at Princeton University, the groundbreaking study on how we come across to others.

And what she found was that we often think of charisma as very extroverted,

very bubbly, very positive, maybe even smarter or more athletic or funny.

Those are all words that came up in that what is charisma.

But actually, thank goodness, it has nothing to do with our attractiveness or our humor.

it actually has to do with our warmth

and competence specifically very highly charismatic people what makes someone very

highly charismatic is they are off the charts in signaling warmth

and off the charts in signaling competence

and I use the word signaling very specifically

because you could be the warmest most competent person out there

but if you are not showcasing it people don't believe it

and so highly warm and competent people and it comes at the same time

so highly warm folks are cuing others for trust, likability, and openness, friendliness.

We want to be around them, we want to open up them, we want to talk to them.

On the other side, they're also signaling high competence, credibility, efficiency, productivity.

In other words, highly charismatic people very quickly answer the questions, you can trust me and you can rely on me.

The problem is, the reason why these charismatic people are so rare is that most of us showcase an imbalance.

showcase too much warmth or too much competence.

And let's start with competence because I think that most people listening to this podcast are highly smart.

And this is the problem, this is the plague of highly smart people.

Highly smart people have great ideas.

This is most of my students.

They are off the charts, talented, very brilliant.

And they hope, they think that their book smarts, their preparation, their work ethic, their great ideas will stand by themselves.

And so they showcase lots and lots of competence.

They go into an interview signaling credibility and productivity and efficiency.

They walk on stage or do a presentation

or a pitch with lots of great numbers and beautiful slides and a really great business plan.

But what the research says, and this is a quote from the research, competence without warmth is likely to leave us feeling suspicious.

No matter how good your idea is, if you can't showcase it with warmth, people will not believe it.

And so they show up with all these competent signals, but people see they're intimidating, cold, hard to talk to.

They get this gut feeling of like, I just don't get a good feeling.

Competent folks need to learn how to cue warmth along with their ideas for people to believe them.

On the other side, we have folks who have very, very high signals of warmth, but they don't showcase enough of their competence.

And this is the plague of people pleasers.

And I am also a recovering people pleaser.

So, highly warm folks, we really want people to like us.

We are very focused on being liked.

Competent folks want to be right.

So they want to make sure they're in the know.

In fact, you know you're in a relationship with a highly competent person, my husband is off the charts competence, if they constantly Google fact check you.

That's how you know you're in a relationship with a highly competent person

because they are more focused on being right

and less focused on being liked highly warm folks want to be liked

and they often will put likeability over credibility so they'll sacrifice their respect

or credibility just so people will like them and here's what happens

when you do that when you signal lots

and lots of warmth people love to open up to you in fact you know

that you're high open

if people love to tell you their life story it means

you are signaling you are broadcasting open up to me tell

me everything highly warm folks one of my friends is highly warm

and no matter wherever whenever she sits on an airplane the

person next to her tells them their life story for the entire flight

because she's signaling I know people like

that yeah you get a conversation with them

and then 40 minutes go by and you're like what what just happened I don't they just And that is because verbally, vocally, non-verbally, and by the way,

there's four ways that we signal these for channels.

They are signaling to you, tell me everything, Jefferson, and you just feel like you can do it.

Here's the problem.

Highly warm folks make wonderful friends and wonderful partners, but we don't always take them seriously.

So warm leaders, they struggle with the same things.

People interrupt them in meetings.

They aren't paid what they're worth.

They have trouble closing.

They have trouble negotiating.

And when it comes to their ideas, people like the person but don't always take their ideas seriously.

So the reason why we love highly charismatic people is they're able to say both, you can trust me and you can rely on me.

And I think this is the foundation of every single one of our relationships.

All of our people problems, all of our communication patterns, all of our miscommunications happen because of an imbalance between warmth and competence.

I like that.

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I find that no doubt when you meet somebody, you can, like we talked about earlier, within a few seconds, you're like,

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there's something about this person I don't like.

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I don't know if I can put my finger on it, but I like how they, it's like you meet them and without knowing it,

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your eyes might look at what they're wearing or how they smile, or you look at the corners of their eyes,

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or your brain is kind of like doing these subliminal like check marks of like, I like this person, I like this person, I like this.

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Yes, it's like these micro calculations.

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And actually, I think that there's, the biggest reason we don't like people is actually because they're muting.

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Muting or under signaling is the thing that drives us the most crazy as a human.

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So yes, we might be picking up on negative signals, and there are about 30, 27 different negative cues we don't like, which we can talk about.

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But the biggest negative cue is under-signaling.

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Why?

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If someone is completely stoic or completely mute, they're not showing us enough, we can't get a grip.

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And our brain goes, we don't like this.

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I can't see their emotion.

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I can't see if I can trust them.

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I can't see if they're credible.

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And that makes us very nervous.

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There's an experiment called the still face experiment, which is basically this idea that bosses tend to think if they're present and they make eye contact, that's enough.

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This is also the problem with Zoom, is we're completely stoic on mute.

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There's very little we can give someone on this little tiny box with our face in it.

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In the still face experiment, they have babies and mothers come into a lab,

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and the mom is interacting with the baby then they instruct the mother to completely go still, to go mute, to sit right in front of the baby,

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making eye contact, but not show any emotions.

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And almost immediately the babies begin to cry.

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They begin to turn away.

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They lose their posture.

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They get very fussy and upset.

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Even though their mother is right there making eye contact, they don't like the lack of interaction.

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And so one thing I'm trying to fight back with is let's not go mute.

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Let's make sure that we are not under signaling our warmth and competence in the name of being professional.

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I think people often think it's professional to not show too much emotion, but actually we really need it to be able to feel comfortable with people we're working with or interacting with.

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Yeah.

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And I agree absolutely on if you want to be better at work, if you want to communicate better at work,

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even with your boss or whoever, emotion can be a good thing.

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If it's, as long as it's not misplaced, You can show emotion in people who cuss a lot in their words.

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It shows you to be a much more emotional person.

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At the opposite, if you're somebody who rarely reacts to a good job, I would say that's another form of muting, so to speak.

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What are ways that you find that in the workplace specifically people can do to improve their nonverbal skills in the office?

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Okay, so this is my bread and better.

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I love charisma at work because I think it's the hardest, right?

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It's easier to be charismatic with your friends, people you're comfortable with, but trying to be able to get buy-in, create collaboration, disagree politely.

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This is your specialty.

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Like this is what I love.

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Okay.

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So the very first thing that I like to teach professionals is you need to know how to read the room.

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And that comes from being able to very clearly read faces.

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In professional settings, we often will say we're fine

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but not actually be fine

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or we'll give a half preference instead of saying the whole preference

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and so there's two emotions actually three emotions i want to teach right now

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that are i think incredibly they're tools they're tools for in

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the room the very first one is you should know how to spot underlying fear or anxiety

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when we spot fear in the workplace we're able to very quickly prevent miscommunications from happening down the line

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so fear i'm going to teach you what it looks like

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and if you're listening you can also just imagine this is when we see the upper whites of someone's eyes.

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So when someone widens their eyelids, you can try this with me.

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So widen your eyes as wide they'll go.

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We don't naturally do that.

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We'll raise our eyebrows.

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We don't naturally raise our eyebrows up so the whites of our eyes are showing.

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When we do that, that's an involuntary response to fear, anxiety, or discomfort.

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And it happens professionally in so many insidious ways if we don't stop it.

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It can happen around confusion.

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That's actually the time I see it the most, is even on a Zoom call, I'll spot if someone said something that a new software stack

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or a new protocol or something about the client or a pricing and you see someone's fear go up, it means you might have just said something that they don't understand.

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So the very first thing you do if you see fear is note it.

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I just spotted something I said or that was said or just happened made them feel a little uncomfortable.

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Note it.

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Second, how can I clarify?

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Oftentimes it will be resolved with that.

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So I'll usually say, does that make sense?

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Any questions for me?

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Let me circle back here and explain that one more time.

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Or let me showcase this a different way.

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Any questions or ideas for me?

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That is a moment where I stop and I pause and I clarify either with a re-explanation or giving someone the floor.

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And the last one is see if you can resolve it.

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So maybe they are actually afraid of something.

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This is when I will go into credibility mode.

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Listen, I know this is a really big change and a big shift.

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Here are all the reasons why I think it's going to work

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and here are all the reasons why I think it's important

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and I am here for you we're in this together

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that pause of taking note clarifying

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and then resolving you are going to prevent any kind of miscommunications happen the line

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because you spotted it in the moment that's fear

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and looking for the whites of someone's eyes

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and I look for this on zoom calls and pitches and presentations the second one is disgust

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disgust is so overlooked

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and it is such an important emotion to disgust is a fun one to make it's the face we make

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when we smell something bad so we crinkle our nose up

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and we flash the upper whites of our teeth that's it you got it Jefferson

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so when these stank face yeah thanks thanks yeah like oh

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if we say you here's some good music you like yeah yeah don't like it

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so by the way again that's very unnatural like I would never walk around holding my nose like

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that by the way the the reason why we have these

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faces is there's evolutionary reasons we have them there's a reason why these are across cultures and genders and races.

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Fear, in fear, we widen our eyes to take in as much of our environment to see

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if there is an escape route or if we have more threats coming towards us.

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In fear, our body wants to widen our field of vision.

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That's why we widen our eyes.

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In disgust, typically there's something that we don't like.

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And so we inhibit our olfactory senses.

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So we don't smell as much.

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That's literally why we crinkle our nose up.

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We're trying to take in less of that nasty air.

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Now most people think well, Vanessa I don't care if someone doesn't like the food or doesn't like the smell

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You see disgust when people don't like anything an idea a person a direction change

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And so you want to look for disgust especially

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when asking preference based questions The most common way I see this is

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if you say so what do you think of the new girl?

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Oh, yeah, you know, she's she's great.

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And they're actually holding their nose up.

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Yeah.

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And that little crinkle face.

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It means there is something there that they are disgusted with or don't like.

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The most important thing we see discussed is permission.

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You want to immediately give someone permission to tell you the truth.

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You know, did you have any interesting experiences with her?

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It's totally okay if, you know, you didn't vibe right away.

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Tell me everything.

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I'm here for you.

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I'd rather get us all out and open, get this all out and open into our discussion.

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The moment you can give someone permission to tell you their truth, you become such an important partner.

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We love people who see and sense our true emotions, so we have permission to share them.

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And so you become, it's a gift to recognize emotions because you're basically telling someone, I want you to tell me who you are and what your needs are.

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So no guessing, no guesswork in our relationship.

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And it also sets a precedence so that later they don't even show the discuss and lie.

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They just tell you.

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So we do a lot of lie detection research at Science of People

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and disgust is a big piece of that is allowing people to share the truth.

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The third most important emotion to read is contempt.

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So contempt is the sneakiest of all the emotions.

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It's actually a little bit hotly contended in the research, but I think it's very helpful for us to talk about, which is a one-sided mouth phrase.

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So one-sided mouth raise, you can just look one side up, either side.

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Most people, we actually asked 40,000 people what they thought this expression was.

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And over 80% thought it was boredom.

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But actually it is the micro expression of contempt or disdain or hatred or pessimism.

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Specifically contempt comes with a scornful feeling of better than.

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So if you do this for too long, if you just hold your mouth and that one sided mouth raise, you'll begin to feel like, huh, kind of smug, kind of better than.

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It's a terrible feeling.

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Don't do it for too long.

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Do you feel it?

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Did you feel it?

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Yeah, I felt so smug.

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I know.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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If you always have it, it's, um, yeah, it's like, you, you know, something the other person doesn't or you're, I'm a little bit better than you.

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This kind of feeling.

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Yeah.

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Definitely resonates with content.

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Certainly.

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And, and so one is make sure you're not accidentally showing this in your profile picture.

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I think sometimes you'll pick this cause it's like, guys do that.

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I feel like guys have it.

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You're like, Hey, got this side.

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I think it was because truly, Vanessa, it's because if you look at like the cool cartoons that we thought of, like Johnny Bravo and like Hey Arnold,

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like they had like the little side smiles.

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Like how did you draw a cartoon of a guy and you wanted this guy to be kind of cool?

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You give him a little side smile.

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But yeah, I think in real life it doesn't pay out that way.

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Cartoon is new.

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I wasn't allowed to watch Simpsons.

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It was too much for my Southern family.

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I know.

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My family too.

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My family too.

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So The Simpsons were not allowed until we were 16.

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I've never seen an episode.

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Tell you the truth, I've never seen an episode.

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The funny thing is my dad actually worked on the show.

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We weren't allowed to watch it.

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No way.

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Yeah, isn't that weird?

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That's awesome.

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We thought it was so hypocritical.

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It kind of is, but yeah.

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All right, so Side Smile can certainly give off that feeling of contempt.

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Yes.

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And that's one of the three signs when you're trying to read a room.

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Yeah, so one, don't accidentally show it.

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If you're going to take a profile picture, I don't mind serious or full smiling, nothing in between.

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No half smile, no fake smile, either still and stoic and just real intense, which I don't mind in a profile picture, or smiling all the way.

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So make sure you're not accidentally showing it.

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And second, if you see it, especially if someone responds with that kind of one-sided smirk,

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there is something about that that made them feel scornful.

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and contempt is a tricky one

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because you don't always know where it comes from it could be something you said

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but it could be something that they feel

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that has nothing to do with you jealous so what i right yeah and

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so what i always do is i just take note of

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it i usually will maybe pause for a second this makes sense are we all good

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and i just want to make sure that i go into rapport building

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that they know that whatever they're feeling contemptuous about that i'm an ally against it as well.

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So like, for example, if someone feels contemptuous of a client or a project or a number, that's fine.

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I can't always fix that contempt, but I can make sure that I'm an ally with them that like, yeah, that sucks.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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We can also, but we can trauma bond over contempt as well.

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And so it's always one that I look out for.

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If you enjoyed that clip and want to see the rest of the conversation, you can click right here.

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Or if you want to see the latest episode of the Jefferson Fisher podcast, click right here and I'll meet you there.

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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección

Este vídeo tiene 302 frases y 3546 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 18:24. El hablante habla rápido, unas 193 palabras por minuto, así que espera sonidos enlazados y reducidos. El 85 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.

Vocabulario clave de este vídeo

15 palabras del vídeo que vale la pena aprender, con su pronunciación y significado:

Palabra	Pronunciación	Significado
emotion sustantivo	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	afecto, emoción
competence sustantivo	/ˈkɑm.pə.təns/	competenza
warmth sustantivo	/wɔɹmθ/	calidez
folk sustantivo	/foʊk/	pueblo, gente
contempt sustantivo	/kənˈtɛmpt/	desprecio, desdén
disgust sustantivo	/dɪsˈɡʌst/	asco, repugnancia
competent adjetivo	/ˈkɒmpətənt/	competente
showcase sustantivo	/ˈʃoʊˌkeɪs/	escaparate, vitrina
mute adjetivo	/mjut/	mudo
credibility sustantivo	/kɹɛd.əˈbɪ.ɫɪ.ti/	credibilidad
chart sustantivo	/t͡ʃɑɹt/	chart
experiment sustantivo	/ɪkˈspɛɹ.ə.mənt/	experimento
accidentally adverbio	/ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/	accidentalmente, sin querer
resolve verbo	/ɹɪˈzɑlv/	resolver, solventar
preference sustantivo	/ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/	preferencia

Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar

Palabra	Pronunciación	Significado
come across verbo		pasarse a
come up with verbo		ingeniar, ingeniarse
give off verbo	/ɡɪv ɒf/	emitir, desprender
go up verbo		subir
pick up on verbo		percatarse de, pillar
walk around verbo		deambular

Pronunciación a tener en cuenta

El hablante usa 98 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, you're, they're. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.

Los sonidos de “th”: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, athletic /æθˈlɛt.ɪk/, ethic /ˈɛθ.ɪk/
Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, showcase /ˈʃoʊˌkeɪs/, efficiency /ɪˈfɪʃ.ən.si/, presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/, flash /flæʃ/
Palabras largas — cuida el acento: credibility /kɹɛd.əˈbɪ.ɫɪ.ti/, experiment /ɪkˈspɛɹ.ə.mənt/, accidentally /ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/

Cómo practicar con este vídeo

Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como emotion, competence, warmth.

Gramática en este vídeo

Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:

Estructura	En el vídeo
Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace	be born · being liked · aren't paid
Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa	experiment, which is · people who cuss · somebody who rarely
Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora	I've never seen

¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?

Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.

Técnica de shadowing: lee la guía completa paso a paso →

Shadowing Practice: The Science of charisma & how to improve it | Jefferson Fisher Clips - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección

Vocabulario clave de este vídeo

Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar

Pronunciación a tener en cuenta

Cómo practicar con este vídeo

Gramática en este vídeo

¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?

Which type of charisma do you have? @Dr.ShadeZahrai on The @melrobbins Podcast