Pratique du Shadowing: Build Your Self Worth for Good | English Podcast for Everyday Life Use | English Speaking Practice - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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All right, welcome back to Podcast and Chill, where we talk about real stuff in real English at a pretty chill pace.
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If this is your first time here, hi, I'm Gwen.
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And I'm Leo.
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We're basically two people who think too much and talk about it so you don't have to think alone.
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That's actually a nice way to put it, because today's topic is one of those things that a lot of people feel but never really talk about out loud.
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Yeah, we're talking about self-worth.
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And to be clear, we are not talking about the kind of self-worth that comes from your job title, your GPA, or how productive you were today.
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We're talking about that quiet, internal question that always pops up.
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Am I actually enough?
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It sounds heavy, I know, but we're going to keep it honest, keep it light, and hopefully keep it useful.
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We'll be here helping you build your own self-worth, step by step, at your own pace.
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You don't have to have it all figured out right now.
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Just being here, listening and reflecting.
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This podcast is designed for people around the B2 level, so we speak naturally with richer English, but we also don't throw in a hundred idioms a minute.
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Right, it's that sweet spot where you're slightly challenged but never lost.
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And as always, we've got a vocabulary recap waiting for you at the end, so if you miss a word, don't stress.
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Just stay with us.
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Language and Life Listens, two for one.
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So grab your coffee, your tea, or just get comfortable wherever you are.
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Let's dive in.
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Maybe I should start with the root of the problem.
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When you don't have a strong sense of your own self-worth, how do you even measure it?
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You outsource it.
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You look for it outside yourself, mostly in other people's approval.
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Because if you can't see your own value, you desperately need someone else to tell you that you are enough.
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Exactly.
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It's like floating without an anchor.
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You start relying on a compliment, a like on Instagram, or just someone noticing you to feel okay about yourself.
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And the crazy part is, you don't even realize you're doing it.
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Until something tiny happens.
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Right.
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Let's look at a real-life example.
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Imagine you see a friend post a story that they are nearby.
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You feel excited, so you text them, Hey, want to hang out?
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With a big smiley face emoji.
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You're totally pumped.
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Yeah, a good vibe.
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But then they reply, Hey, kind of busy.
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Catch up later.
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No emoji, no exclamation mark, just a dry, simple text.
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Oh no, the dreaded dry text.
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Now, a secure person would just think, oh, they're busy, cool.
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But if your self-worth depends on them, your brain immediately calls an emergency meeting.
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Yes, you start completely spiraling.
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Your brain goes, wait, are they mad at me?
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Did I do something annoying?
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Do they not want to be friends anymore?
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Your entire mood for the day is ruined just because of a missing emoji.
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And that shows exactly how vulnerable you become when your value is tied to someone else's reaction.
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So it's not about them at all.
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It's how we interpret their response.
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Right.
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Your reaction is tied to their approval.
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And sometimes, because of that, you slowly start changing yourself.
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Changing in what way?
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You become someone who tries to keep everyone comfortable.
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You avoid saying anything that might upset people.
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Ouch.
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That sounds a little too real.
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It is.
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The tricky part is that it doesn't look dangerous at first.
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So it just looks like you're being a kind, friendly, easygoing person?
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Exactly.
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But over time, it turns into an automatic pattern.
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You start saying yes automatically,
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even when your first instinct is no. It's like your mouth says yes before your brain even catches up.
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Wow, that sounds so true.
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You smile, you agree, and you go along with things just to keep the peace and avoid any awkward tension.
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Right deep down, you're terrified of making people disappointed in you.
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So you end up trading your own comfort for theirs.
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But the problem is, you can only play that role for a while.
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What happens after a while?
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You start feeling completely drained, exhausted, maybe even a little resentful.
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And the saddest part?
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You still feel like you're not enough.
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Because people-pleasing quietly disconnects you from your own needs.
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It makes you feel like you're doing everything right.
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That's tough.
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Yeah, and eventually you're not even yourself anymore.
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When that happens, you start looking for another way to feel valuable again.
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Another way?
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Yes.
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If you can't feel your worth from within, you try to prove it through what you do.
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Ah, like productivity?
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Yeah.
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You start tying your self-worth to your output, like your work, your achievements, your results.
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So it becomes, if I do more, I am more.
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Yes.
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If I'm productive, I'm valuable.
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If I'm useful, I matter.
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That sounds very familiar.
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It is.
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I actually have a friend like that.
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She's always working, always busy.
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Like nonstop?
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Nonstop.
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At first, I thought she was just really driven.
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But later, I realized something deeper.
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What was it?
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She was afraid of being seen as not enough.
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Like, if she slowed down, people might look down on her.
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So working harder was her way of protecting her value?
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Sadly, yes.
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She wasn't just working to succeed.
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She was working to feel worthy.
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That's heavy.
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Yeah, and that's the danger.
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Your value becomes conditional.
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It depends on how much you produce.
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Then what happens when you slow down or fail?
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That's when everything drops.
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If your work or role disappears, your sense of self can drop with it.
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So it's not just about work anymore.
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No, it becomes your identity.
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And once your identity is tied to performance, you're always under pressure to prove your worth.
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No matter how much you do, it never really feels enough.
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Because deep down, you're not building self-worth, you're chasing it.
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So, if that's the pattern, how do you even start breaking out of it?
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You start by rebuilding trust in yourself.
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Trust?
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Yeah, through small promises.
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Why small, though?
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Why not big changes?
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Because big promises are easy to break.
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And every time you break one, you trust yourself a little less.
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Ah, so it's not about pushing harder.
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It's about becoming someone you can rely on.
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Exactly.
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Okay, then what does that look like in real life?
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Simple things, like telling yourself, I'm going to rest, and actually resting.
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Or, I'll go for a short walk and actually do it.
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That sounds almost too simple.
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It does, but that's the point.
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You're not trying to impress anyone you're trying to show up for yourself.
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I love that.
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Every single time you keep a promise to yourself, you send a message.
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I matter too.
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And over time, that builds something?
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Yeah, it builds self-trust.
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Once you trust yourself, you don't need as much validation from other people.
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That's powerful.
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In a quiet way.
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Yeah, that's how you slowly stop chasing validation, because you're finally showing up for yourself.
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Okay.
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What's another thing we should look at?
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Stop over-explaining yourself.
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Hmm.
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I feel like a lot of people do that without realizing.
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Yeah, it's one of those habits that feels normal, but it actually comes from needing approval.
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Like when we say no, but then we keep explaining for five minutes?
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Yes, instead of just saying, I can't make it, we add reasons, details, even apologies we don't really mean just to make sure they're okay with it.
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Or, more honestly, to make sure they don't judge you for it.
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Oops.
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That's real.
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And that's the deeper pattern.
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When we over-explain, we're trying to control how other people see you.
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So when we do that, we're managing their reactions.
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Exactly.
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We want them to understand, agree, and approve of our decision.
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But the more we do that, the more our value depends on their response, right?
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Right.
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And it slowly weakens our internal sense of worth because we stop trusting that our no is enough.
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What happens if we stop doing that?
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It feels uncomfortable at first.
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We might feel guilty or worry that people will misunderstand us.
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Yeah, that's silence after a short answer.
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Kinda scary.
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Uh-huh, but that's where the growth is.
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We're allowing people to have their own reactions without trying to fix it.
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That's why, instead of explaining more, you guys should stand by your decision.
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Trust me, that builds real confidence.
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Quiet confidence, the kind that doesn't need constant approval to feel okay.
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But I feel like, even if you stop explaining, that uncomfortable feeling is still there.
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It is.
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And that brings us to the next step.
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What is that?
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You have to learn to accept that discomfort, without treating it like something is wrong.
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That sounds.. hard.
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We're so used to fixing things right away.
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If someone seems disappointed, we try to make it better.
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If someone misunderstands us, we rush to explain.
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It feels like we can't just sit with it.
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I know.
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But not every uncomfortable feeling is a problem.
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Sometimes it's just a reaction, yours or theirs.
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So what does that look like in real life?
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Maybe you say no to something, and the other person seems a bit off.
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Our instinct is to fix it.
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Right.
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To explain more, to apologize again, to make them feel okay, blah, blah, blah.
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You're now saying, don't do that.
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Yeah.
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Just do nothing.
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Pause.
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Notice what you're feeling.
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Let them have their reaction.
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So their reaction doesn't define us.
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Exactly.
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Their disappointment, their misunderstanding, is about them, not your worth.
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That's a big shift.
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Uh-huh.
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And the more you practice this, the more emotionally stable you become, because you're not reacting to every signal anymore.
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I got it.
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We're standing in our own space instead of chasing other people's responses, just by doing nothing.
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That sounds.. freeing.
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It is.
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Once you stop trying to fix everyone else's feelings, you're finally left with what's happening inside your own head.
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True.
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And that brings us to the fourth and final habit, changing the way you talk to yourself.
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Spill the beans, Gwen.
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It's the way you talk to yourself.
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Hmm.
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Self-talk.
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Yeah, because at the end of the day, the relationship you have with yourself matters the most.
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I feel like most people are actually pretty harsh on themselves.
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Oh, 100%.
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We say things to ourselves we would never say to anyone else.
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Like, why am I like this?
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Or, what's wrong with me?
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Well, that one hit.
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The problem is, every time you talk to yourself like that, you are actively damaging your own sense of worth.
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So, what should we do?
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Start with something simple.
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Instead of blaming yourself, you're a loser, you're not enough.
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Just say, I know you did your best, I'm proud of you.
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Wait, instead of thinking, why am I so lazy today, you ask, what does my body need right now?
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Exactly.
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You shift from attacking yourself to supporting yourself.
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That already feels different.
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That changes everything.
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It really does.
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Because over time, you build a healthier relationship with yourself.
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You create an environment in your own mind where you feel safe, rather than constantly judged.
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I love that.
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That sounds like something a lot of people are missing.
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Your true self-worth doesn't grow from other people's compliments.
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It grows from how you treat yourself when no one else is listening.
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That's powerful.
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You guys can start doing it today.
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And maybe before we move on to the next part, I want everyone listening to take just one second.
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What would you say to yourself right now if you were being a little kinder?
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Just one sentence.
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You can drop it in the comments or just whisper it to yourself.
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Either way, it matters.
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I guess when you start being more aware of how you treat yourself...
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You also start noticing something else.
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Like what?
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Like asking yourself what you want from other people.
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Ah, that's interesting.
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Yeah, a lot of the time we're not just reacting, we're hoping.
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Hoping for what?
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For someone to understand us, support us, reassure us, make us feel okay.
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So we're kind of waiting for others to give us something.
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Yep, that's not wrong, but here's the shift.
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Before you look for it outside, ask yourself, what am I actually hoping to get right now?
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Hmm, that already sounds more intentional.
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It is.
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When you can name it, you can start giving some of it to yourself.
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Like, if I want reassurance, I can call myself first.
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Exactly.
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Maybe not 100%, but even a small part.
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And that changes things?
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A lot.
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You're no longer completely dependent on how others respond.
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You're still connecting with people, but you're not relying on them to define how you feel.
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That's how you slowly build emotional independence.
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I feel like beyond these small steps, there's another piece to this.
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Oh?
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What is that?
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Learning how to set boundaries.
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You're right, but I think a lot of people misunderstand what boundaries really are.
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Yeah, most people think it just means saying no. Right, but it's not always about saying no, it's about knowing when something is enough.
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Enough?
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Enough effort, enough emotional energy, enough explaining.
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Oh, so it's more about what you stop giving.
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Exactly.
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Sometimes you don't need to reject the situation, you just stop over-giving.
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That's interesting.
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What does that look like in real life?
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It can be really simple.
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Not replying right away, not jumping in to fix someone else's mood.
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Then you're not reacting instantly anymore.
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So you create a little space between what happens and how you respond.
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That space feels uncomfortable, though.
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It does, because we're used to thinking we have to respond to everything.
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Like if we don't, we're being rude or a bad person.
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Honestly, you don't have to react to everything to prove you're kind.
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Oof, that hits.
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You can still care, you can still be a good person without giving all your energy away.
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Yep.
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Boundaries are less about pushing people away.
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It's more about not abandoning yourself.
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That's a big difference.
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Once you get that, everything starts to feel a lot more balanced.
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Before we wrap up, we just want to say a few things.
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Yeah, we hope today's chat helped you pause and actually look at your self-worth.
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Not to compare, not to prove, just notice it.
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Even just realizing one little thing about yourself is already a win.
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We want you to remember this.
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You are allowed to take up space.
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You are allowed to have needs.
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You don't have to earn your worth.
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You already have it.
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Beautifully said.
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All right, now let's look at some words.
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These are the useful words and phrases from today's episode, perfect for discussing self-worth or just keeping your English real and natural.
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Great.
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Let's start with the first one.
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The first term is validation.
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Validation is approval or recognition from others.
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For example, she often looks for validation from her friends before making decisions.
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The next term is sneak in.
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Sneak in means something gradually appears or enters without being noticed.
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For example, self-doubt can sneak in quietly, even when you feel confident.
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Another important term is people-pleasing.
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People-pleasing is the habit of always trying to make others happy at your expense.
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For example, he's always saying yes to everything, a classic case of people-pleasing.
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Next, we have emotional independence.
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Emotional independence is the ability to manage your own feelings without relying on others for reassurance.
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For example, building emotional independence helps you stay calm even when others react unexpectedly.
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Then we have overgiving.
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Overgiving means giving too much of your time, energy, or attention, often to the point of exhaustion.
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For example, her over-giving at work left her drained and resentful.
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Last but not least, over-explain.
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Over-explain is when you feel the need to explain yourself too much, usually to avoid judgment or conflict.
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For example, he tends to over-explain his choices, even when it's not necessary.
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And that wraps up today's vocabulary.
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We covered a lot today, but if you only remember one thing, make it this.
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Your worth was never up for debate.
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Stop explaining yourself to people who've already decided.
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Stop shrinking to make others comfortable.
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Easier said than done, but that's why we're here.
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Thank you for staying to the end.
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You didn't have to, but you did.
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That means a lot to us, more than you think.
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If this one hit home, share it with someone who needs it.
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Before I say goodbye, we have a question for you.
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What do you want us to talk about next?
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Drop it in the comments.
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I'm Leo.
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I'm Gwen.
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See you next time.
About This Lesson
In this lesson, you will engage deeply with the concept of self-worth and its implications on personal growth and interpersonal relationships. By listening to real conversations conducted at a natural pace, you will practice your spoken English and enhance your comprehension skills. This session is tailored for English learners at a B2 level, allowing you to immerse yourself in rich vocabulary and essential phrases while reflecting on an important life topic. The aim is to help you understand the nuances of self-worth and how it affects your daily interactions, all while practicing English in a meaningful context.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Self-worth: The sense of one's own value or importance.
- Outsource: To rely on external sources for validation or support.
- Approval: Acceptance or permission, often from others.
- React: To respond to something, particularly emotionally.
- Vulnerable: Open to emotional damage or criticism.
- Compliment: A polite expression of praise or admiration.
- Spiraling: Becoming overwhelmed by thoughts or emotions.
- Mood: A temporary state of mind or feeling.
Practice Tips
To maximize your learning from this podcast episode using the shadowspeak technique, consider these practice tips:
- Listen Actively: Focus on the conversation flow, tone, and emotional undertones. Notice how the speakers express their thoughts and emotions around self-worth.
- Shadowing Technique: Pause the podcast after certain passages and repeat what you hear. Aim to mimic not just the words, but also the intonation and rhythm of the speakers. This will help you improve your pronunciation and fluency.
- Engage with Content: Reflect on how the discussions relate to your own experiences of self-worth. Try to express your thoughts using new vocabulary from the session.
- Use a Shadowing App: Record your voice while shadowing the podcast. Playback your recordings to analyze your pronunciation and intonation, making adjustments as needed.
- Regular Practice: Consistency is key. Use a shadowing site to find similar content that challenges you yet keeps you engaged. Set aside time each day to practice your listening and speaking skills.
By following these tips, you'll enhance not only your English language abilities but also gain confidence in expressing your thoughts about self-worth and other important topics in life.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.