Pratique du Shadowing: How to Stop Caring What People Think | English Podcast | Easy English Conversation for Beginners - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Création de la leçon...
1
Get comfortable with English in Comfort.
2
This is your English listening practice podcast to help you learn and improve naturally.
3
Hello English learners and welcome back to English in Comfort, your cozy English podcast for learning English through easy conversation.
4
I'm Mark.
5
And I'm Leah.
6
It is so great to be back here.
7
It is.
8
You know, Mark, every day we make choices.
9
What clothes to wear, what job to take, where do we go?
10
But often we ask a bad question.
11
What will people think?
12
Yeah, that is a very bad question.
13
It really is.
14
And today, you know, it is time to stop living for other people.
15
It is time to stop caring what people think.
16
And it's time to start living for yourself because, well, this is our true mission today.
17
You know, it is very normal to want people to like us.
18
We are human beings, right?
19
Right.
20
We are human.
21
We want to be part of the group.
22
But when we care too much about other people's opinions, we stop living our own lives.
23
We really do.
24
You might be a student or you might have a job, you have responsibilities or bills to pay.
25
I mean, you have real stress.
26
It is time to protect your peace of mind.
27
I understand that.
28
I do.
29
But I have to push back a little bit.
30
Isn't it just human nature to want to fit in?
31
Like, I look at my own life and I want my co-workers to like me. Of course.
32
I want my family to accept me.
33
It feels very dangerous to be on the outside of the group.
34
You are right.
35
It feels dangerous.
36
And that is because our brains are very old.
37
Think about a long time ago.
38
People lived in small groups in the wild.
39
Right.
40
Like in the forest.
41
Yeah.
42
If the group did not like you, you were alone.
43
And if you were alone, you had no food, you had no fire.
44
You wouldn't survive.
45
Exactly.
46
So your old brain says, I must fit in or I will not survive.
47
When someone does not like you, your brain feels real physical pain.
48
It is just how we are built.
49
So wanting to fit in is like a way to stay alive.
50
Yes.
51
But there is a very big difference between fitting in and losing yourself.
52
Tell me about that difference.
53
Well, fitting in means you find people who like the real you.
54
Losing yourself means you wear a mask.
55
You change your words.
56
You change your choices.
57
You hide your true self just to keep people happy.
58
And that is a very bad way to live.
59
It sounds so tiring.
60
To stop caring what people think, we first need to understand why we care so much in the first place.
61
We have to look at how we grew up.
62
Yes.
63
Think back to when you were a small child.
64
When we were young, we really needed other people. Because we were small.
65
Exactly.
66
We needed our parents to give us food.
67
We needed a safe bed.
68
And we went to school and we needed the teacher to say, good job.
69
I remember wanting that gold star.
70
Yes, the gold star.
71
We learned that making big people happy kept us safe.
72
If the big people were happy, we got good things.
73
But you know, I noticed this in my own life today.
74
I still act like that small child.
75
How so?
76
Well, I wait for my boss to say, good job.
77
I wait for my friends to say my new shirt looks nice.
78
I am always waiting.
79
That is because old habits are hard to break.
80
But I want you to hear this clearly.
81
You are not a child anymore.
82
You can take care of yourself.
83
Think about your life today.
84
You work hard.
85
You pay your own rent for your house.
86
Yeah, I do.
87
You make your own food.
88
You make your own money.
89
You do not need a teacher or a parent to tell you that you are doing a good job.
90
You do not need everyone around you to agree with your choices.
91
You are safe.
92
I always get an image about this.
93
Caring about other people's opinions is like carrying a very heavy bag every single day.
94
A heavy bag.
95
I like that.
96
So every morning you wake up, you put this heavy bag on your back.
97
And inside the bag are heavy rocks.
98
Each rock is someone else's opinion.
99
So one rock is what your boss thinks.
100
That is a big rock.
101
Yeah, a very big rock.
102
And another rock is what your neighbor thinks or what your old friends think.
103
You carry this heavy bag to work, you carry to the store, you carry it home.
104
And what does this bag do to your body?
105
It makes you so tired.
106
When you carry this heavy weight, you do not say what you really think.
107
Let us look at a real situation.
108
You sit in a big meeting at work.
109
I hate big meetings.
110
Me too.
111
So you have a very good idea to solve a problem.
112
But you feel the heavy bag.
113
You think, what if they think my idea is stupid?
114
Right.
115
I worry about the boss.
116
Yes.
117
So what do you do?
118
You stay quiet.
119
I say nothing at all.
120
Or maybe you want to practice speaking English at your job.
121
You really want to try.
122
But your heart beats fast because of the bag.
123
You think, what if I use the wrong word?
124
What if my co-workers laugh at me? So scary.
125
So you just smile and say nothing.
126
The heavy bag makes you small.
127
Yes, you do the safe thing.
128
You do what everyone else is doing and it makes you feel bad inside.
129
You feel stressed.
130
You feel sad.
131
I think about it like a mobile phone battery.
132
We only have 100% battery every day, right?
133
We only have 24 hours.
134
So when you spend hours worrying about what your co-worker thinks of your shoes, it is like running bad apps in the background of your phone.
135
It drains your battery.
136
Exactly.
137
You have zero energy left to build your own dreams.
138
This heavy bag steals your joy.
139
It steals your time. But wait.
140
I have a question.
141
If I put the heavy bag down and I do exactly what I want, won't people leave me?
142
Will I be all alone?
143
That is the biggest fear.
144
But here is the deep truth about life.
145
True friends will not leave you.
146
True friends respect your choices, even if they do not agree.
147
Let us say you tell a friend, I am going to leave my safe job and start a new business.
148
A big choice?
149
Yes.
150
A true friend will say, I'm a little worried for you, but I support you.
151
If someone leaves your life because you stop wearing a mask, well, they were never a true friend.
152
They only like the mask.
153
That hurts to hear, but it makes sense.
154
We keep carrying this heavy bag because we think everyone is looking at us all day long.
155
But you know, we have a very big secret to tell you today.
156
Listen to this secret very carefully.
157
People do not think about you very much.
158
That is almost hard to believe.
159
It is true.
160
People are busy.
161
Think about your own brain.
162
From the time you wake up, what do you think about?
163
I think about my coffee.
164
Right?
165
You think about your own money.
166
You think about your own health.
167
You think about what to eat for dinner.
168
Other people are doing the exact same thing.
169
So, they are not thinking about my shoes?
170
No, they're busy with their own adult problems.
171
They do not have time to look at you.
172
I like to call this the five-minute rule.
173
Imagine you are at the office.
174
You are wearing a new pair of glasses.
175
A co-worker looks at you and says, those glasses look strange on your face, and it hurts your feelings.
176
Yes, it hurts.
177
But what happens next? That is the point.
178
The co-worker will walk away.
179
In five minutes, they will forget what they said.
180
They will go back to their desk.
181
They will worry about their own emails.
182
Later, they will go home, watch television, and go to sleep.
183
They completely forgot.
184
They forgot.
185
But you, because of the heavy bag, you will think about it all day.
186
You will look in the mirror ten times.
187
You will feel bad all night.
188
You are giving them your time and they are not even thinking about you.
189
Let us use another picture.
190
Everyone is the star of their own movie.
191
In your life, the movie camera is always pointing at you, but here's the trick.
192
Your co-worker is the star of their movie.
193
The camera in their head is pointing at them.
194
It is not pointing at you, they are only looking at themselves.
195
I want you to just really think about this for a moment.
196
No one is watching your movie.
197
The camera is not on you.
198
How does that make you feel?
199
For me, it feels like a big breath of fresh air.
200
Exactly.
201
When you understand that no one is watching, you feel a deep peace.
202
You are free to make a mistake at work.
203
You are free to speak English and say the wrong word.
204
Yes.
205
You are free to wear a color no one else wears.
206
You are free to just be you.
207
Okay.
208
So, we know people are not watching our movie.
209
We know the bag is heavy and we want to put it down.
210
But how do we actually start?
211
Because, I mean, if I wake up tomorrow morning, I cannot just magically change my whole mind.
212
It takes time.
213
That's right, you cannot change overnight.
214
We must take small steps.
215
And step one is this.
216
You must know what you actually want.
217
Many of us have worn the mask for so long, we don't even know what we like anymore.
218
So what do we do?
219
Take a piece of paper today.
220
Find a quiet room in your house, sit down, and write down what is important to you.
221
Not what your friend wants.
222
Not what your boss wants.
223
What do you want?
224
Is it spending quiet time with your family?
225
Is it playing games?
226
Is it saving money to travel?
227
Write it down.
228
If you do not have a plan for your own life, other people will make a plan for you.
229
You must be the boss of your paper.
230
I have done this, because if I do not plan my weekend, my friends will say, let's go to this expensive dinner.
231
Or my boss will say, can you work on Saturday?
232
If I do not know what I want, I just say yes to them.
233
Yes.
234
Knowing what you want makes you strong.
235
Once you have your paper, you move to step two, which is small practice.
236
You cannot start with big life choices.
237
You must start small.
238
Tomorrow morning, go to your closet.
239
Pick the clothes you really love, even if they're a little different.
240
Wear them.
241
Look in the mirror and say, I chose this and I like it.
242
I love that.
243
I will give another example.
244
Lunchtime at work.
245
Everyone is ordering a small healthy salad because they want to look good for the boss.
246
But you are very hungry.
247
You want the big hot sandwich.
248
Order the big sandwich.
249
Eat it.
250
Enjoy it.
251
Do not look around the room.
252
these sound like silly things, but they are very important.
253
It is practice for the big things.
254
In a meeting, raise your hand.
255
Speak your mind.
256
Just say one sentence.
257
Do not worry if your English is perfect.
258
Do not worry if the idea is the best idea in the world.
259
Just practice letting your true voice out of your mouth.
260
I think one of the biggest practices is saying no. This is very hard for adults.
261
We get an invitation to a party
262
or a co-worker asks us to do their work and we do not want to do it.
263
But our heart beats fast and we say yes.
264
Saying no is the best practice.
265
You must learn to say no to a meeting or a dinner you do not want to go to.
266
It feels bad at first, but when you say no to something you hate, you are saying yes to your own life.
267
Every time you choose yourself, your mind gets stronger.
268
You're putting the heavy bag down one small rock at a time.
269
But let us talk about what happens when we start making these new choices.
270
Because when I say no to a friend, my first thought is to start talking a lot.
271
I explain everything.
272
Ah, yes.
273
We feel bad, we feel guilty.
274
So we talk and talk.
275
We need to stop doing this immediately.
276
This is step three.
277
Stop talking.
278
Imagine it is Friday night.
279
You worked 40 hours this week.
280
You are so tired.
281
Your phone rings.
282
It is your friend.
283
They want you to go to a loud, busy place.
284
You want to stay home, read a book, and sleep.
285
But you feel bad saying no. So you say, oh, I'm so sorry.
286
I think I have a bad cold.
287
My head hurts.
288
And I have to clean my kitchen.
289
And my car is broken.
290
Yes, we make long stories.
291
We make big excuses.
292
Basically, we want the friend to understand.
293
We want them to say, oh, you are a good person.
294
It is okay.
295
But that is the heavy bag again.
296
You do not need to give a reason for your life.
297
If you want to stay home on a Friday night, just stay home.
298
So how do I say it?
299
What are the exact words?
300
No, thank you.
301
I am staying home tonight.
302
And if they ask why you aren't coming, then you give them the best excuse in the world,
303
which is, because I want to. Because I want to.
304
That feels so dangerous to say.
305
It feels dangerous, but it is true freedom.
306
Because I want to is a very good reason.
307
You only need to answer to yourself.
308
You are the adult.
309
You are the boss of your time.
310
But I have to ask the hard question.
311
If I stop explaining myself and I start saying no, and I use the words because I want to, well, some people will get mad at me.
312
Some people will not like me anymore.
313
That is true.
314
And this brings us to step four.
315
It is a hard truth, but it will set you free.
316
You cannot make everyone like you.
317
It is not possible.
318
Even the kindest, nicest people in the history of the world had enemies.
319
You can be the nicest person in your office.
320
You always bring coffee.
321
You always smile.
322
and someone somewhere in that office will still not like you.
323
They will say she smiles too much.
324
Exactly.
325
So if someone is always going to be angry, let them be angry.
326
Let them dislike you.
327
If they do not like your clothes or your choices or your quiet Friday night, it is their problem, not your problem.
328
You cannot please everyone.
329
Do not try.
330
You must keep your circle small.
331
Focus your time on the people who love the real you.
332
The people who like me without the mask?
333
Yes.
334
When you take off the mask, the people who stay are your true friends.
335
Give your love to them.
336
And what about the angry people?
337
Let the other people think what they want to think.
338
They are in their own movie.
339
Let them watch their own movie. That is so freeing.
340
We have talked about so many important things today.
341
I want to put all these simple rules together for you.
342
This is how you walk through the door to freedom.
343
First, you must see the heavy bag of opinions.
344
Feel how tired it makes you.
345
Second, you must learn the big secret.
346
People are busy and no one is watching your movie.
347
Third, take a piece of paper, write down what you want, and take small steps every day.
348
Eat the big sandwich.
349
Fourth, stop explaining your choices.
350
Stop talking so much.
351
Just say no. And fifth, accept the hard truth that some people will not like you. So, how about you?
352
Make one small choice right now.
353
The moment this talk ends, go do one thing for yourself.
354
Make your coffee exactly the way you like it.
355
Say no to a text message you do not want to answer.
356
Just practice.
357
Friends will come and go.
358
Jobs will change.
359
The money in your bank will go up and down.
360
But you are the only person who will be with you for your entire life.
361
From the day you are born to the very end, you are always with you.
362
Thanks for spending time with us today.
363
For more English listening and speaking practice, interesting topics, and more, subscribe to English in Comfort.
364
Keep practicing, keep improving, and take care, everyone!
Why practice speaking with this video?
This English podcast episode offers a unique opportunity for learners to engage in a lively conversation about a relatable topic: the pressures of caring about others' opinions. By listening to Mark and Leah discuss their views, learners can immerse themselves in realistic discussions and enhance their speaking skills. Engaging with this content improves not just listening capabilities but also speaking fluency through practices such as shadowing. Shadowing involves repeating what you hear in real-time, which helps develop natural phrasing and intonation.
Furthermore, this podcast encourages learners to think about personal choices and social dynamics, making it more engaging and relevant. As you practice, you'll find yourself better equipped to express your thoughts in English, which is especially beneficial for those preparing for IELTS speaking practice.
Grammar & Expressions in Context
The conversation features several key structures that can enhance your understanding of English grammar:
- Modal verbs: Phrases like "It is time to stop caring," highlight the use of modal verbs to express urgency and necessity. This structure is useful when discussing actions you feel are required.
- Present Simple: Mark and Leah often use the present simple tense, as in "We make choices" and "People want to fit in". This tense expresses truths and habitual actions, which is vital for everyday conversations.
- Conditional sentences: The comment, "If the group did not like you, you were alone," is an example of a conditional structure. This is useful for discussing hypothetical situations and their consequences, aiding in more complex speaking scenarios.
Common Pronunciation Traps
As you practice with this podcast, pay attention to specific words and phrases that may pose pronunciation challenges:
- Opinions: Listen closely to how Leah enunciates "opinions." The stress on the second syllable can be tricky for non-native speakers.
- Survive: The vowel sounds in "survive" and "alive" can blend together, so practicing these words in context can help clarify their pronunciation.
- Dangerous: Watch out for the pronunciation of “dangerous.” Many learners unintentionally simplify the middle syllables, so be sure to articulate each part distinctly.
By focusing on these pronunciation traps while you listen and shadow, you can significantly improve your English pronunciation, making your spoken English more natural and fluent. This approach is effective for anyone looking to learn English with YouTube resources and engaging content.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.