Pratique du Shadowing: When People Turn Down Love - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

Création de la leçon...
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The arrival of love should ostensibly always be a matter of celebration.
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Let's imagine that finally, after years of waiting, along comes what might be called a nice person.
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They're mature, they apologise for their flaws, they listen, they ask questions, they take an interest, they're generous.
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So, a new couple go on a number of holidays.
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Maybe to Pisa first, then a weekend in Wales, then a trip to Nottingham.
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them.
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Introductions are made to best friends, from the training course, to an aunt, to a brother-in-law.
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There's laughter, some innovative sex, deep conversations and a sense at last of having come home.
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But in the background of one of the two parties, the lover who is fearful of love,
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there will also be a rising discomfort.
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For a time, this is managed through strategic lowerings of the temperature.
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Let's say there's an argument on the steps of the museum which ruins one afternoon.
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Then there's a mysterious bout of so-called illness which puts pay to a few dinners.
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Then there's an urgent need to see a friend which shatters the intimacy of the third weekend.
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Then there's a pressing need to attend a course or fix a shelf.
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Subtle attempts to ensure that love cannot deepen,
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that dependence is stymied, that a home is carefully dismantled at the same time as it seems to be being put up.
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Let's make an analogy.
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A person is taken prisoner early in their life, a time of terrible war.
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In a prison camp, there's barely any food.
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The young prisoner grows up having to adjust to an extreme calorie-controlled of diet.
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There's little nourishment and the stomach shrinks to accommodate what's on offer.
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Then suddenly there is peace, the prison gates are open, it's liberation, there's joy and celebration, a banquet is laid on,
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there are chocolate tarts, creamy cheeses, lush fruits, dried meats.
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But the banquet is wholly indigestible to the prisoners.
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The goodness cannot be metabolised.
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incomparable will have happened to the lover who cannot love.
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They too will have been neglected by a mother who was mentally unwell, or a father who was filled with rage and then later ran off or married a friend.
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The lover has never been fed.
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The lover's emotional stomach has shrunk.
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They dream of banquets, the deprived always do, but they will retch at the sight.
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Gradually, a conclusion forms in the emotionally undernourished partner's mind.
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They must get out very fast.
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Their lover is not, despite appearances, very nice at all.
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They're controlling.
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They don't have their best interests at heart.
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They aren't actually interested in listening to them.
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These accusations bear the imprint of their opposites.
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They can be read as desperate, confused pleas on the part of the unwell lover's unconscious mind.
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What on earth is one meant to do with kindness?
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What in heaven's name is one meant to do with trust?
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How can one handle goodness?
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These are desirable but entirely alien properties.
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And they kick off an acute unconscious fear of loss.
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What would happen if the lover were to be snatched away?
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How could one survive disappearance now?
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It would quite literally kill one.
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Better then to instigate loss oneself than see it unfold hideously outside of one's volition.
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I must fire rather than be fired.
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I must deny the legitimacy of love to prevent dependence growing.
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The lover who is terrified of love sets about priming the explosives.
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An affair, a grave rupture of trust, a disappearance, a cancelled holiday, silence online.
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And they're ready with an answer were they to be questioned by the incensed, terrified partner.
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It's your fault, you're complaining about nothing, you've got a bad temper, you don't listen to my needs.
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And they're off.
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In a classic so-called avoidant discard, the lover can blow up a relationship in a matter of days, sometimes hours.
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Social media profiles are changed instantly.
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The The lover who is afraid of love may be back on the dating scene in minutes.
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The now ex is erased from history, airbrushed out like a Soviet-era leader.
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The love never happened.
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The lover was too intense.
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It would never have worked.
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They were controlling.
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It takes a very steady mind indeed not to fracture at this point when one is on the receiving end of this.
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One is being told to go away on the grounds of
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something one is not done by someone one adores who is denying that they are up to anything.
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We need to remember some core truths.
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We have been discarded because love is terrifying to those who were not loved as children.
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We have been thrown away not because we were horrible but because we were not horrible enough.
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We have been punished for caring for people who do not, in their core, in any way feel worthy of care.

About This Lesson

In this lesson, you will explore the complexities of love and emotional experiences as illustrated in the video "When People Turn Down Love." The transcript delves into the psychological hurdles faced by individuals who struggle with intimacy and how past traumas can manifest in their current relationships. Through this exploration, you will practice English speaking practice by engaging with nuanced discussions surrounding emotional vulnerability and trust. This lesson is particularly beneficial for learners interested in enhancing their conversational skills and gaining deeper insight into human emotions.

Key Vocabulary & Phrases

  • Fearful of love – a reluctance to embrace romantic feelings due to past experiences.
  • Intimacy – closeness and emotional bonding between people.
  • Dependent – relying on someone else for emotional support or wellbeing.
  • Emotional stomach – a metaphor for one’s capacity to handle emotional experiences.
  • Indigestible – something that cannot be accepted or processed, often referring to emotional experiences.
  • Under-nourished – lacking necessary emotional sustenance, which can lead to relationship difficulties.
  • Desirable but alien properties – traits such as kindness and trust that may be longed for but feel unfamiliar.

Practice Tips

To maximize your learning experience, consider using a shadowing site or other resources that encourage shadow speech techniques. Here are some specific tips to improve your English pronunciation and comprehension based on the video’s speed and tone:

  • Listen Intently: As you begin, pay close attention to the speaker's intonation and pacing. Notice how pauses underscore emotional points.
  • Repeat After This Shadow: Use the shadowing technique where you attempt to speak right after the speaker. This helps with improving your English pronunciation and fluency.
  • Focus on Emotion: Try to replicate not just the words but the emotions conveyed. Feeling the content can significantly enhance your speaking skills.
  • Practice with Variations: Repeat certain phrases multiple times with differing emotions, such as excitement or sadness, to better understand the emotional context.
  • Record Yourself: By listening to your own pronunciation compared to the video, you can identify areas for improvement.

Integrating these methods will help you gain confidence in discussing complex themes while practicing your conversational English with greater ease.

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?

Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.