शैडोइंग अभ्यास: 48 Minutes of Jimmy O. Yang | Guess How Much? - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Ever since I was five years old, my mom had me believe that anything I do would make me sick.

You go outside without a jacket, you get the flu.

You go to bed with the fan on, pneumonia!

God forbid you fall asleep with wet hair.

You don't want to wake up.

That's it.

You're dead.

That's it.

You're dead.

That's fear-mongering, man.

I'm not scared of anything anymore.

I don't think I have any fear anymore.

I used to watch that show Fear Factor.

You guys remember that show?

Joe Rogan hosted Fear Factor to make you face your fears, like jump off a helicopter, eat crazy shit, like pig intestines and sentry egg.

I ate that shit for breakfast.

This is nothing to me.

Fear is not a factor.

When I was like 10 years old, little boy, little boy, I was very scared because there's one kid, pretty sad story, in my class he had childhood leukemia

and they lost all his hair to chemo and everything looking real frail

and I was really scared I was like oh my god is he gonna be okay?

And my mom, she's a great mother, she saw how scared I was so she came up to console me she was like Jimmy,

Jimmy, you see this is what happens when you I didn't play too much video games.

That's fear-mongering, okay?

I never played a game of FIFA after that.

My mom was like the original fake news.

Good to see everyone here, man.

I think collectively as people, we all been through a lot in the last few years, man.

And we made it out.

I made it out, we're better for it, you know?

I feel like I mentally aged like 20 years.

Like the first day I walked outside, for some reason, I just walked out like an old Chinese man.

I just came out of my house like this.

I was wearing flip-flops in a puffer vest.

My outfit made no sense.

My feet were cold, chest sweat.

My posture looked like shit, but I was still judging everyone.

I'm just like...

I'm an old man now.

I don't even like going outside anymore.

All my friends, they're back to normal, right?

They're like, oh, Jimmy, you want to go to Coachella?

I'm like, nah.

No seats.

That would look fun to me.

Six hours standing in the desert?

Fuck that.

You see all these kids like with the Instagram post, you know, it's always like people just like jumping around

Dancing and then all these buff dudes got like girls on their shoulder.

I'm like dude, you know, I'm going to concert.

You're doing CrossFit How's that fun?

The only concert I've been to this year.

I took my girlfriend to a Don McClain concert Yeah, you guys know who that is?

Yeah, couple people.

Thank you.

Thank you Tom McClain for you guys that don't know saying the song bye-bye Miss American Pie Yeah, he's old as shit, dude.

He's 77 years old and so was his audience.

It was my favorite concert I've ever been to.

On a ticket it says the show started at eight, started at 7.59.

He didn't have an opener, you know?

He just came on stage with a guitar and started singing.

It was awesome.

Nobody stood up to like obstruct my view because frankly, everyone had a bad hip.

It was great.

Still got home in time to watch 10 o'clock evening news.

That's my kind of evening, you know what I mean?

I don't like going outside anymore.

Too many crazy people, too many weirdos.

One time I went to this dive bar in a military town, San Diego, big military town.

I love my military, okay?

But I think sometimes, yeah, yeah, but I think sometimes military people get a little too passionate, you know?

Thank you, thank you.

Exactly, my point right there.

Thank you.

but they're just too passionate.

Like I was at a dive bar, this one military brother came up to me, he was just like, hey man!

I wanna buy you a drink.

I'm like, no, no, thank you, I can buy my own drink, thank you.

He was like, no!

I wanna buy your drink.

So at this point, I thought either he wanted to take a selfie, or he wanted to fuck me.

So I'm like, no sir, I think I can buy my own drink.

And then he started telling me his whole life story, he's like, you don't understand.

I want to buy you a drink because I was stationed in Okinawa for four years

and you guys have been nothing but nice to me.

I'm like, you guys?

You guys?

Okinawa's in Japan, I'm Chinese, sir.

And he's like, it doesn't matter, man.

It doesn't even matter.

I'm like, sure, I think it does matter, all right?

I'm pretty sure the only reason you were stationed in Japan was to keep an eye out on Chinese people like me.

It does matter.

He was like, it doesn't even matter, man.

I still love Pad Thai, okay?

Maybe that guy run into BTS on his next tour. Who knows?

My point of saying all of this is Asian people, we don't all look alike.

We don't all sound alike.

You know, we don't even do anything alike.

100

We're just people, you know?

101

Right?

102

Like, everybody's different.

103

Thank you, white lady.

104

Thank you.

105

Thank you, one white lady.

106

Appreciate it.

107

Thank you.

108

She teaches magnet school down the street, a lot of Asian students.

109

So tonight, I want to offer you guys I'm gonna offer you guys an advanced lesson

110

on how to tell Asian people apart, okay?

111

Yeah, that's right.

112

I'm so good at telling Asian people apart, I don't even need to look at you.

113

I can tell you what kind of Asian somebody is by the sound they make when they're disappointed.

114

Because disappointment is our strongest emotion.

115

Whenever we get disappointed, our ancestor just comes out, And you can't hide that, you know?

116

Like for example, I'm Chinese, I know Chinese people very well, okay?

117

When Chinese people get disappointed, we're just disgusted.

118

We don't wanna look at you.

119

When you disappoint a Chinese person, they just like, oh shoo, shh.

120

Like they just walked into a smoky room and they gotta clear it, just like, shh.

121

See, that's Chinese people.

122

Japanese people, when Japanese people get disappointed, they just want to know why.

123

They ask you a question.

124

When a Japanese person gets disappointed, they're just like, eh?

125

Eh?

126

And that's it.

127

You didn't go disappoint a Korean person, I wouldn't recommend that.

128

This Korean brother might fuck you up, okay?

129

Korean people are intense, they're ready to fight.

130

But they're my favorite type of people because they're very emotionally honest.

131

A Korean person will let you know when they're disappointed.

132

They're real guttural with it, you know what I mean?

133

When you disappoint a Korean person, they're like, Ooh!

134

You, shiba-e- But they're still very Asian, so they still wrote polite.

135

They'll thank you with that.

136

And they're like, oi, shiba-e- mida.

137

I don't even speak Korean.

138

But I watch Squid Games.

139

Right?

140

Love that show.

141

See, that's great representation.

142

Number one TV show in the world, man.

143

And they just spoke their native tongue.

144

That's representation right there, man.

145

I'm proud of it.

146

I'm proud.

147

I'll try.

148

I'll try.

149

But I'm most proud of the fact that I finally have an easy Halloween costume.

150

Some of you guys don't understand the struggle for an Asian guy when it comes to Halloween.

151

Our outfits are limited.

152

I was Bruce Lee for six years.

153

But this last year, I had the best Halloween costume.

154

All I did I went to Amazon, got like a matching like track suit for three numbers on my chest, and I found myself an Indian friend.

155

It was like...

156

It was such a great Squid Game costume, somebody came up to me, it's like, oh my God, you look just like the girl in Squid Game.

157

I was like, oh, Shiva!

158

Lida.

159

Proud of all the representation out there, man.

160

That's right.

161

Have you guys seen the show Silicon Valley?

162

Thank you.

163

Thank you.

164

Thank you.

165

That was my first big break, man.

166

I was so grateful to be part of that show.

167

But that was a few years ago, and I always felt like I was the only Asian person representing, right?

168

I felt so much weight on my shoulder.

169

Like, every year, we got very lucky.

170

We're getting nominated for an Emmy, so we get to go to a great ceremony.

171

But every year, we knew we were going to lose.

172

Because all the good shows have front row seats, you know?

173

Veeb, Game of Thrones are all here.

174

We're way the fuck in the back by the exit sign. But it's okay.

175

Win or lose, I was there to represent.

176

I made sure I made my round, say hi to everyone, so they know there's Asian presence, you know?

177

That's right.

178

So one year, one year after we lost, everybody left, I walked down the front row to say hi to some of my favorite actors.

179

And I saw some of them.

180

I'm like, oh my God, that's...

181

That's Emilia Clarke.

182

That's Khaleesi.

183

That's Jon Snow over there, you know?

184

And then there's Rachel Brosnahan.

185

Do you guys know who she is?

186

Yeah.

187

I love her.

188

She plays the marvelous Miss Maisel.

189

Great show, right?

190

It's an awesome show.

191

And I did a movie with her a few years ago, so I decided to say hi.

192

I was like, oh my God, Rachel.

193

It's so great to see you.

194

Congratulations on everything.

195

And she was like, oh, okay.

196

I'm like, okay.

197

She probably just forgot who I was.

198

I'm like, look, we did a movie like six years ago called Patriot's Day.

199

You were awesome in that movie.

200

I just want to congratulate you on everything you've done so far.

201

And she was like, oh, yeah, sure.

202

And I'm like, oh, really?

203

Is the marvelous Miss Maisel a bitch?

204

But I wasn't going to act out of pocket.

205

I was there to represent.

206

So I was very nice.

207

I was just like, oh, it's okay.

208

You just don't remember.

209

Anyways, I just want to congratulate you for all the nominations on Marvelous Miss Maisel.

210

You're awesome.

211

And she was like, oh, I'm not Rachel Brosnahan.

212

I'm Evan Rachel Wood from Westworld.

213

And I was like, holy shit.

214

I'm the racist person here.

215

I think all white people look alike.

216

Everybody in the front row was judging me.

217

John Stone was staring me down.

218

I'm like, you're a bastard, you can't even stare.

219

And I didn't know what to do, right?

220

I was profusely sweating, my face was flushed red.

221

So I was just like, oh my God, I am so sorry.

222

But either way, it's so nice to meet you.

223

My name is Awkwafina.

224

And then I just...

225

That's right.

226

That's why it's good to have other representation out there.

227

Asian people, we don't all look alike until we need to.

228

I got a girlfriend now.

229

Thank you.

230

I love her very much, man.

231

She's an amazing person.

232

She's very successful.

233

My girlfriend's a venture capitalist.

234

Yeah, fucking jackpot, right?

235

You know?

236

It's great, it's great.

237

For you guys that don't know what a venture capital means, it means that I'm the poorest person she knows.

238

And what that really means is I'm her sugar baby.

239

So it's great.

240

That's right, that's right.

241

Gender equality, that's what I'm talking about.

242

It's time for men to get taken care of, that's right.

243

See that brother high-fiving his girl?

244

Appreciate you, man.

245

Fellow sugar baby, come on.

246

That's right, that's right.

247

I love her, man.

248

I'm trying to be a better boyfriend.

249

I'm new to this boyfriend stuff, right?

250

I used to take everything so personally.

251

Like, every time we get into a fight, I'm like, babe, why are you mad at me?

252

I'm the perfect boyfriend.

253

Wrong answer.

254

Fellas, fellas, if your girl's mad at you, you can't take that shit personally, because it's not even about you.

255

She doesn't even know what she's mad about.

256

You just happen to be there, you know what I mean?

257

You're a victim of circumstance, man.

258

So it's not your job to engage in an argument, it's your job to defuse the situation.

259

You gotta jujitsu that shit until you get to the bottom of the real prom.

260

Like the other way she was mad at me about something.

261

She was like, babe, I feel like we don't even like go on date nights anymore.

262

I'm like, okay.

263

I hear you.

264

But what's really going on?

265

And she was like, well, sometimes I feel like you like hanging out with your buddies more than you like hanging out with me.

266

And I'm like, okay.

267

I hear you.

268

But what's really going on?

269

And then she takes a deep breath.

270

And she was like, remember last week of my birthday?

271

Heather brought a cousin and she didn't know my name.

272

I was like, see, that's your problem right there.

273

You ain't got nothing to do with me.

274

Heather Cousins is a bitch, you know?

275

Fuck her, man.

276

Let's focus my energy on her.

277

I'm trying to be a better communicator, man.

278

My girl always wants me to talk about my feelings.

279

She's like, babe, I wish you'd talk about your feelings more.

280

I'm like, I feel fine.

281

What more do you want me to say?

282

I don't know.

283

I'm not that emotionally involved.

284

I don't know what else.

285

I'm fine.

286

But don't keep asking me that, because the fifth time you asked me that, I might not be fun.

287

The fifth time you asked me that, some dark shit is gonna come out.

288

It's like, babe, how are you feeling?

289

I don't know, I'm angry all the time.

290

Because my dad yelled at me after ping pong practice.

291

See, guys and girls were just different, man.

292

Girls are so emotionally evolved.

293

You know, we even hang out different.

294

One night I came home early, my girl was having a girls' night at the house.

295

I've never seen anything like that.

296

The TV was off.

297

Seven girls sitting in a circle, making direct eye contact with each other.

298

Every candle in the house was lit.

299

And I walked by, I'm like, what is this witchcraft?

300

And I just backed into my own room.

301

Fellas, we hang out different.

302

Guys, when we hang out, we sit in a straight line.

303

TV on full blast.

304

Zero eye contact with each other.

305

My girl came home early, she was so confused.

306

She was like, babe, you guys didn't talk for like six hours.

307

I'm like, yeah, isn't that fucking awesome?

308

That's us.

309

That's guys.

310

But in a relationship, it's important to speak the same language.

311

My girl asked me, she was like, babe, what's your love language?

312

I'm like, what?

313

She's like, you know, your love language, like, how do you convey love to your partners and loved ones?

314

Like, for example, a love language could be words of affirmation.

315

I'm like, words of affirmation?

316

I was raised by Asian parents.

317

I've never heard one word of affirmation in my life.

318

Nobody ever told me, Jimmy, you're so great, you can do it.

319

They're like, don't fuck it up.

320

Their love language is verbal abuse.

321

I'm trying to figure out my love languages.

322

Physical touch, right?

323

That's another love language?

324

Nobody touched me until I was 22.

325

I'm not familiar with that.

326

What are some other love languages?

327

I like every woman just screaming out at their front, act of service, gift giving.

328

I think gift giving is a good one.

329

I love giving gifts to my girl.

330

She loves giving gifts to me.

331

We love that, right?

332

Like for example, I love buying my girl shoes.

333

She loves shoes and we wear the same shoe size.

334

The perfect gift for the whole family.

335

You know what I mean?

336

These are her shoes tonight, you know?

337

Gets me perfect.

338

That's right.

339

And in return, I let her wear all of my Jordans.

340

Yeah, guys, you guys know that's love.

341

Because Jordan's, to guys, that's our most prized possession.

342

If we let you slip into our Jordans, that's like you letting us slip into you.

343

You know?

344

Same thing.

345

But sometimes, sometimes I get a little nervous because her feet's a little dirty, okay?

346

And she's a white girl, so her feet extra dirty.

347

Like, you know what I mean?

348

Like, I don't know...

349

White people, I don't know what the fuck you guys do with your feet all day!

350

You guys just barefoot all the time, frolicking around like Jenny from Forrest Gump, you know?

351

White people, you guys got some strong-ass feet, man.

352

Just 120 degrees outside, hot cement, just like psss.

353

Y'all got some hunter-gatherer feet.

354

See, every culture, we got different feet etiquette, all right?

355

All right?

356

White people want to get in touch with Mother Earth.

357

That's great.

358

Black people, on the other hand, I lived with a black roommate for six years.

359

Never saw his toes once.

360

He came out the shower with socks on, man.

361

I'm like, what the?

362

You got a sock drawer in there, brother?

363

Asian people, you guys know the rule.

364

When you come into the house, you take your shoes off, right?

365

You're like, we all know that.

366

Yeah.

367

Yeah.

368

But our feet actually never touch the floor.

369

Because when you take your shoes off at the house, we got two pair of house shoes ready for you.

370

And then when you walk outside, we got two pair of Crocs ready for you.

371

And then when you come back in the bedroom, we got two other pair of slippers that we stole from a hotel in Vegas.

372

We're ready.

373

Our feet never touch the floor, we got baby soft feet.

374

I think Asian people, our most natural love language is acts of service, right?

375

That's what our parents did to us.

376

They might never say, I love you, but they did a lot of nice things for us.

377

Every night, I don't care how busy my parents were, they'll come home and make a five-course meal.

378

That's love right there, right?

379

You got to give it up for them.

380

You got to give it up.

381

That's right.

382

In our culture, food is love.

383

I love cooking for my girl.

384

We love cooking together.

385

Food is love.

386

That's why I hate watching all these reality cooking shows where they make food so freaking stressful

387

Like all these guys with aggressive tattoos and they just sweating it in the kitchen.

388

They're like, yes chef Yes, chef!

389

Two minutes!

390

Two minutes!

391

It's still raw!

392

It's still raw!

393

And they're just making fucking scallops

394

There's two items on the menu and they can't handle that shit You go to any Chinese restaurant,

395

there's about 485 items on the menu And there's one dude back there in the kitchen.

396

He's not even a chef, he's somebody's uncle from Hong Kong.

397

And he knows how to make everything in under 30 seconds.

398

That guy's the real hero, you know what I mean?

399

In a relationship, I think it's important to know how you convey love, but it's just as important to know how you receive love.

400

You gotta be vulnerable and let your partner do nice things for you.

401

See, I'm not very good at that.

402

I'm terrible at like directly asking for things that I want.

403

So instead, I just drop little hints.

404

That's called being passive aggressive.

405

Don't do that.

406

Don't do that.

407

Like for example, I love watching these YouTube videos of Japanese housewives making bento boxes.

408

It's very nice, very cute.

409

It's like a little ASMR, you know?

410

It's just really nice.

411

This Japanese woman wakes up at 6 a.m every day to make her working husband a bento box.

412

But I can't ask my venture capitalist girlfriend to make me a bento box.

413

I'm not an idiot, I'm a sugar baby.

414

I know my role.

415

So instead of asking her directly, I just drop little hints.

416

Like we'll be sitting on the couch together.

417

I just pull out my phone and pretend I accidentally stumbled onto this video.

418

I'm like, oh, what is this?

419

Bento boxes?

420

Oh my god, it's so cute.

421

What is that, like a rice ball shaped like a panda?

422

Look, look, look, look.

423

Wow, so she makes this every day for him?

424

Wow, she must love him so much.

425

I thought I was being slick.

426

Until she came out to one of my shows.

427

And she heard this joke.

428

And she was really upset, man, and rightfully so.

429

I was just up here talking shit, right?

430

We went home, we got into a big fight.

431

She was like, babe, that's bullshit, okay?

432

If you want me to do something, why don't you just ask me directly?

433

And if you really want somebody to make you bento boxes, why don't you just go find a Japanese woman?

434

I'm like, babe, I'm sorry you feel that way, okay?

435

But I think you're missing the point.

436

You don't have to be Japanese to make bento boxes.

437

That's right.

438

That's right.

439

So now I'm making her bento boxes every day.

440

That's how I show my love.

441

You gotta love the people around you.

442

You gotta be nice to the people around you.

443

Your partner, your family, your friends.

444

You gotta keep your day ones around, man.

445

You know, everybody when I was coming up in the game, they gave me this advice.

446

They're like, hey Jimmy, you wanna be successful?

447

Hang out with successful people.

448

Because birds of a feather flock together.

449

That's right, man, that's right.

450

You guys heard this before, right?

451

It's fucking bullshit, okay?

452

Successful people are so boring.

453

I hung out with successful people.

454

They got a successful job.

455

They got a successful family.

456

They don't have time to hang out with your mediocre ass.

457

So my real advice to everyone is to find yourself more loser friends.

458

That's right, that's right, that's right.

459

I see some of you guys clapping.

460

The ones that are not, you're probably the loser friend, which is fine, I love you.

461

I love you.

462

I love all my friends, man.

463

All my day ones, I used to live in a one-bedroom apartment with three comedians.

464

Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with that.

465

I was proud of that.

466

It was all good.

467

They're still my close friends.

468

One of my best friends, his name is Guam, Guam Felix.

469

Yeah, he's a comedian.

470

He's named after the island he was born on, Guam.

471

Like, you know you kind of hood when you name after the island you were born on.

472

Like, if I came out tonight and they introduced me as Hong Kong Jimmy, I'll probably be selling drugs outside, you know what I mean?

473

But Guam's one of my greatest friends, man.

474

He's just a good dude.

475

He's just a happy-go-around guy, you know?

476

He crashed in my living room for months, and I asked him, like, hey, Guam, you got any plans?

477

You gonna go get a job or something?

478

He was like, nah, dog.

479

I'm gonna get on that government disability, homie.

480

And I'm like, okay, are you disabled?

481

He was like, yeah, I think so, dog.

482

I threw it on my back when I was 19, homie.

483

I'm like, okay, you're 42 right now.

484

I don't think that's gonna work out for you.

485

See, Guam is great.

486

He lives by the creed where anything good that happens to him, he makes sure to thank God.

487

Right, that's great.

488

And anything bad that happens to him, he makes sure to blame the government.

489

It's a great way to live when you take zero personal responsibility.

490

Like, he'll say shit like, oh, damn.

491

They gave me a speeding ticket and took away my license, dog.

492

You see, that's how the government fucks you.

493

I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure that's how you fuck yourself.

494

And then on the positive side, he'll say things like, I just want to thank God, because he let me stay with you, dawg.

495

I'm like, no, you just thank me, motherfucker.

496

I'll let you stay with me.

497

I love Guam, man.

498

He's just a happy-go-lucky guy.

499

Doesn't have a lot of ambition in life.

500

His dream in life is to win the lottery.

501

His catchphrase is, when I win the lottery, dog.

502

But he doesn't have good goals for when he does win the lottery, because he'll say shit like, when I win the lottery, we going to the buffet, dog.

503

I'm like, Gwon, we're gonna do that right now, bro.

504

But Gwon was a man of his word.

505

Not only would he buy lottery tickets, he stood in line in every single game show in LA to try to win his lottery.

506

And he finally got on this game show called Let's Make a Deal.

507

Have you guys seen that?

508

Yes, the show that comes on, hosted by Wayne Brady before The Price is Right.

509

But in order to get on that show, you have to wear a costume.

510

And Guam is like a big Pacific Islander brother.

511

So his costume options were limited.

512

He could either be Moana or The Rock.

513

You know?

514

So he decided to make his own costume.

515

He cut up a blue bed sheet, draped it over his body, and then he got a Chinese rice patty hat and he just wore it.

516

And I'm like, what the fuck?

517

What, he dressed up as Ho Chi Minh or some shit?

518

And he was like, no, dawg, I'm master raiding for Mortal Kombat, homie.

519

This is a true story.

520

He went on national TV dressed up as Master Raiden.

521

And this is actually an inspirational story.

522

He actually won.

523

Yeah.

524

He won the big deal of the day.

525

It was a $5,000 living room set.

526

Which was perfect for my living room.

527

I'm not gonna ruin the living room.

528

But he dreamed big, he wanted to win his big prize.

529

So he traded it in for the super deal of the week, and I'm like, this fucking idiot.

530

He traded it in for one out of three chance to win $50,000 cash.

531

One of the biggest prizes on the show ever.

532

And he won! That was his lottery!

533

His dream came true!

534

I was watching TV, it was the most magical moment!

535

and money start falling down on his rice paddy hat.

536

And he was so happy, he started doing jumping jacks and shit, and starts swimming in the pool of money.

537

And I was watching, I'm like, I knew this motherfucker's not disabled, look at him.

538

He's very capable.

539

And he started crying on national TV, he was so happy, and Wayne Brady was like, Guam, congratulations, what are you gonna do with that $50,000?

540

And he was like, we going to the buffet dog!

541

That's right.

542

That's right.

543

That's a good friend, man.

544

That's why you keep your friends around.

545

He went from the biggest loser I knew to the biggest winner I knew.

546

Took care of all his boys.

547

Took us to a lot of buffets.

548

He even took us to the fanciest restaurant he knew.

549

Buca de Beppo.

550

It was awesome.

551

He was pulling.

552

But that money didn't last long.

553

That 50 grand lasted about three months.

554

And not only that, he didn't pay any taxes on it.

555

So now he owes the IRS another 20 on top of that shit.

556

And I'm like, Guam, this is horrible.

557

You're worse off than you ever were.

558

And all he said to me was like, see?

559

That's how the government fucks you, dawg.

560

That's right.

561

Keep your close friends around.

562

Save your money people

563

That's why I really like watching real people game shows I hate watching celebrity family feud

564

Because they always make the celebrity choose a charity and donate money.

565

I'm like some of us want to keep our money man Hey look, I know I sound like a bad person.

566

Okay, but I love helping people.

567

I love the concept of donating money.

568

I Just can't do it I want to, but my mom wouldn't lend me.

569

Every time I even just think about donating money, she comes out of nowhere.

570

She's like, who, who are you donating to?

571

I'm like, mom, I don't know, like, Save the Children Foundation?

572

She's like, you don't even know those children.

573

Children can be horrible.

574

Okay, fine, mom, I'll donate to help the hospitals, like feedahospital.com to help out all the nurses and doctors.

575

And she said, okay, Jimmy, okay.

576

The doctors make more money than you.

577

They should donate to you, okay?

578

I make a website at feedacomedian.com right now.

579

She just guilt trips me, you know?

580

You donate to anyone, you donate to me.

581

I give a birth to you, okay?

582

Can you imagine I'm on Family Feud?

583

Steve's like, Jimmy, what charity are you playing for?

584

Feed of comedian.com.

585

All proceeds go to my mom.

586

My mom's so tight with my money, she wouldn't even let me buy her something nice.

587

For her last birthday, I bought her a nice iPad.

588

Brand new iPad.

589

I thought I was a good Asian son, right?

590

And my mom's like, oh, no, it's too expensive.

591

I'm like, Mom, it's okay, we can afford it.

592

Just enjoy the iPad.

593

She was like, no, Jimmy, please return it.

594

Return it.

595

Return it and just give me the cash.

596

We're practical.

597

That's about the bottom line.

598

See, we live in a very frivolous society, man.

599

Everybody loves to brag about how much shit they have, how much money they make.

600

We all brag.

601

We all guilty of this.

602

We all just do it in subtle, different ways.

603

Like white people, for example.

604

White people never brag about how much money they got.

605

They always just brag about how expensive their life is.

606

Like, oh, Joey just started private school.

607

It's so expensive.

608

And our remodel is totally going over budget.

609

Oh, and you wouldn't believe how much money we spent going to Fiji.

610

I'm like, okay, Katie, I see your life, okay?

611

It's a luxury.

612

It's good for you.

613

Okay.

614

Black people on the other hand a lot more straightforward

615

Black people just tell you exactly how much money they spent on something It's great.

616

You guys see they're like my black friends or even like rappers, right?

617

They love to brag.

618

They're like this car 80,000 My mama's house 500,000 This chain a million dollars man

619

I'm like, okay, you clearly don't have your priorities straight

620

But I appreciate the honesty People love to brag about how much money they spent.

621

Asian people, on the other hand, we do the exact opposite.

622

We love to brag about how little money we spent on some shit.

623

Because the art is in the savings.

624

You never pay full price.

625

Like my mom, her catchphrase is, Guess how much?

626

Guess how much?

627

Yeah.

628

That's our people.

629

You guys ever play Guess How Much?

630

My mom would come home with something new, like a watch.

631

She would be like, Jimmy, Jimmy, guess how much?

632

Guess how much?

633

I'm like, Mom, I don't know, it's a very nice watch, like $5,000.

634

And she was like, no. It's $200.

635

Jimmy, my house?

636

My house.

637

This house?

638

Guess how much?

639

Guess how much?

640

I'm like, Mom, I don't know, you live in a very nice house, like a million dollars?

641

She was like, no!

642

It's half off, someone died in it.

643

And if you know the rules of the game, you always guess high.

644

So you make the other person feel good about their purchases.

645

Never guess too low.

646

If you ever guess too low, that's the ultimate insult to an Asian person, okay?

647

One time my mom came home with some new shoes, I guess too low.

648

I've never seen her so disappointed in me.

649

She was like, Jimmy, Jimmy, guess how much?

650

Guess how much?

651

I'm like, Mom, I don't know, very nice shoes, like $200.

652

She was like, oh, yo.

653

Do you even know about shoes?

654

These are $500 Jimmy shoes, okay?

655

Better Jimmy than you.

656

That's how we prank, people.

657

You gotta love it, man.

658

I used to be embarrassed about all these things.

659

I thought my mom was cheap, she spoke with an accent, she made me Chinese food.

660

When I got older, I realized it's all those things that made me different is what makes me interesting now.

661

The tide has turned, man.

662

Everybody wanna be more Asian, I'm telling you.

663

Yeah, that's right.

664

Everybody wanna be BTS.

665

Everybody wanna eat Xiao Long Bao.

666

And every parent I know is trying to send their kid to Chinese immersion school, just in case we take over this shit, you know what I mean?

667

Gotta be proud, man.

668

You gotta be proud of how you grew up.

669

Gotta be proud of your parents, right?

670

I'm a good Asian kid.

671

I'm great to my parents.

672

I'll never, ever disrespect them in front of them.

673

You know what I mean?

674

I'm so proud of my Asian people.

675

There's so much excellence out there going on, a lot of people representing.

676

It's never been a better time to be Asian.

677

I say this every year, I know.

678

But truly, this is our time.

679

I mean, come on, we got BTS now.

680

Come on.

681

That's us, that's our people.

682

They're doing it.

683

I'm so proud of, man.

684

Biggest band in the world, probably ever since the Backstreet Boys, and they don't even have to speak English.

685

I love my BTS, man.

686

Even white people know BTS now.

687

That's progress.

688

That's progress.

689

I had a 15-year-old white kid come up to me, come up to me trying to explain to me the different members of BTS.

690

He was like, oh, this is Jungkook.

691

He's kind of like the lead singer.

692

And that's Jimin.

693

He's really cool.

694

And he also raps.

695

I'm like, dude, they look the same to me.

696

I didn't want to say it.

697

I couldn't say it as an Asian person.

698

But they all just look like me with pink hair.

699

I can turn the whole show to a BTS concert right now.

700

All right?

701

Yeah, this is Jimmy.

702

This is Jimin right here.

703

You don't know.

704

You don't know.

705

You don't know.

706

You don't know.

707

Smoke like butter.

708

No, I'm not gonna do that.

709

I'm not gonna do that.

710

I'm not gonna do that.

711

I love my people, man.

712

I love BTS.

713

You guys probably heard in the news, they gotta go to mandatory Korean army.

714

Right, the most popular people in the world.

715

They gotta go sign up for Korean military.

716

That's some gangster shit.

717

Imagine how scared you'll be when you encounter BTS on the battlefield.

718

You're in battle, you're already kinda shook, you're in a field of grass, and a little puff of pink hair just pops up.

719

You're like, yo, what the fuck was that?

720

Is that a unicorn?

721

And then six more pink hair pop up.

722

You're like, we're surrounded!

723

And the last thing you see is just this.

724

I see some of you guys still wearing your masks.

725

I still wear my mask, no shame in that, right?

726

It's all good, it's all good.

727

I wear my mask not because I think I'm gonna get sick, but because I just don't wanna talk to anybody anymore.

728

But I'm still surprised when people come up to me, they're like, oh my God, Jimmy?

729

I'm like, how did you know?

730

How did you know?

731

How many other Asian guys did you go up to before it happened to be me?

732

You don't know, you don't know.

733

Underneath this mask, I could be Awkwafina.

734

You don't know.

735

Look, I'm not saying that all Asian people look alike, okay?

736

I'm just saying that me and Awkwafina look alike.

737

And we both look like we should be in BTS.

738

Love all the representation out there, man.

739

But it's not just celebrities.

740

I'm very proud of the everyday people out there representing.

741

That's the important part, you know what I mean?

742

No, no, no. I'm very happy for this one particular person.

743

I'm really happy for that old Chinese lady in Chinatown who's been wearing a mask since 1995.

744

Her life just suddenly made sense.

745

Before the mask mandate, everybody looked at her, it's like, oh, why is she wearing a mask?

746

That's so random.

747

She's not random, she's a fucking trailblazer, okay?

748

She started wearing a mask, now everybody has to wear a mask.

749

She's like the Kendall Jenner of Chinatown.

750

She must have been so happy when this mask mandate happened, just laughing at everyone.

751

It's like, ha ha, look at you, idiots.

752

I told you to put on a mask.

753

No, the CDC follows me.

754

She was prepared.

755

She didn't just have a mask.

756

She had gloves on from when she's driving.

757

She had the full face shield that comes down, looking like Daft Punk.

758

Asian people, we're ready for this shit.

759

Social distancing, we've been doing that for centuries.

760

We don't like all that hugging and touching and all that.

761

You know, when we see each other, just a nice bow.

762

That is socially distanced.

763

If you're really Asian, you ever see two really Asian people, it turns into a bowing contest to see who's more respectful,

764

to see who can bow lower and more away from each other

765

until you just fold it in half and you go home.

766

That's social distancing, people.

767

A lot of people in this country, Americans, you know, like, we're not ready for this.

768

All the rules, we're rebels, man.

769

We don't like following rules.

770

People are like freaking out.

771

They're like, mask mandate?

772

No. I'm like, dude, it's just a mask.

773

Just put on a mask.

774

They're like, it's not just a mask.

775

It's the government.

776

Yeah, it's the government.

777

Fear mongering.

778

I'm like, what is that?

779

They're like, yeah, it's fear mongering.

780

They want you to be scared of everything, so you're obedient and you're scared and you follow the rules.

781

I'm like, oh, that's called fear mongering?

782

Then my mom must have invented fear mongering.

783

I didn't even know that's what it's called.

784

I wanna give you guys a quick update on my dad.

785

Yeah, Richard O.

786

Yang, yeah, the superstar of the family.

787

Yeah.

788

I talked about it in my last special, he became an actor, right?

789

Yeah, yeah, not because he loves the art, because it's so easy, you can do it.

790

I can...

791

But now he's doing great.

792

He's very successful, okay?

793

He got his whole life turned around.

794

He got out of retirement.

795

He's a full-time actor now.

796

And now he wants to be an influencer.

797

He just started his own IG account, which is just a nightmare.

798

Because old people, I feel like they mean well, okay?

799

Like, my dad, he means well, but he just doesn't know how it works.

800

Like, his first post on Instagram is a very nice post.

801

A beautiful picture of the sky, palm trees, birds flying by.

802

I'm like, oh, this is nice.

803

And I scrolled down to the caption, and he wrote, all lives matter.

804

I'm like, that, what the fuck, man?

805

Like, you don't even know what that means.

806

Why would you write that?

807

He was like, I know.

808

My life will matter.

809

Your life will matter.

810

The person's life will matter, OK?

811

All life will matter.

812

I'm like, that is not what it means.

813

I made him put his account on private, okay?

814

Just like a good tiger parent would.

815

Cause we know the rules that young people would see through the scams of Instagram, right?

816

Like for example, I follow SportsCenter.

817

I understand the first hundred comments are all bots.

818

They're all fake, right?

819

Because there's always some IG booty model saying some stupid shit like, uh, I want something long and hard.

820

I mean, this is obviously a scam.

821

So one time I clicked on it.

822

Just to see what's going on, you know what I mean?

823

Research, I just wanna see, I just wanna get to the bottom of it.

824

So I clicked on it, I was like, oh, this is obviously a scam.

825

It's this girl, she's following 7,000 people, but she only has one follower.

826

And I clicked on one follower, it was my dad!

827

He's like, my life will matter, her life matters too, okay?

828

My dad's just from a different generation.

829

He has like a weird beauty standard.

830

Like for us, we just say things on very surface level.

831

Just like, oh, this person's attractive, this person's not, right?

832

My dad would get into the weeds.

833

My dad would give you all the weird details.

834

He would be like, oh, she's beautiful.

835

Very long arms.

836

I'm like, what are you recruiting for a linebacker?

837

What are you talking about?

838

I can never get a pulse on who he thinks is attractive or not, right?

839

One time I'm like, Dad, oh, she's really good looking.

840

And my dad was like, no. Her mouth's too close to her nose.

841

She can't breathe.

842

She can't breathe.

843

I see some of you guys looking at your partner, and it's like, is my nose too close?

844

And that's exactly what an Asian parent does to you, you know?

845

Make yourself conscious about shit you didn't know about.

846

I was very nervous to introduce my girlfriend to my dad.

847

Because she's absolutely beautiful.

848

But who knows if her wingspan is long enough for his life.

849

I was so nervous, man.

850

The first time I brought my girlfriend to my dad's house, and to his credit, I want to give him credit, he actually didn't say anything crazy.

851

Because for some reason, when an old Chinese person sees white people, they just started acting right.

852

Like his posture changed and stood up right.

853

And for some reason, he just came up with a British accent.

854

Like, me and my girlfriend walked in the house, he didn't say anything crazy, he just looked at us, he was like, oh...

855

prosperous young couple.

856

And my girlfriend was so confused, It was like, why does your dad sound like Helen Mirren?

857

And I start saying all these nice things about my girl.

858

I'm like, oh, dad, you know, yeah, she's very successful, but she's also very nice, and her family, they're just great people.

859

And my dad was like, good.

860

All lives matter.

861

I love my dad, man.

862

I love my dad.

863

He's a great dad.

864

He's a funny guy, you know?

865

And we did a lot of father and son bonding growing up.

866

Like, for example, I'm a big basketball fan.

867

I love watching the NBA.

868

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

869

Actually, I grew up a Los Angeles Clippers fan.

870

Yeah.

871

Because my dad was cheap, okay?

872

Because my dad was...

873

Because the Lakers and the Clippers play in the same stadium, but the Clippers tickets were half price.

874

So my dad's like, never pay full price.

875

Never pay.

876

That wasn't even the most embarrassing part.

877

The most embarrassing part was when we exited the stadium.

878

When we exited Staples Center, there'll be hot dog street vendors out there, right?

879

Latino brothers selling bacon wrapped hot dogs for $5.

880

I love those things.

881

And my dad would go up and haggle with them.

882

He would go up and be like, okay, I give you $5 for two hot dogs.

883

I'm like, Dad, it's not buy one, get one free at Costco.

884

Just give them $10.

885

And he was like, shh, never pay full price.

886

Okay, I'll give you $8 for two hot dogs, final offer." And the guy didn't care, he's like, no, it's $10.

887

And then my dad, this is his strategy, he just announces in front of everyone, make sure everyone hears him.

888

He's like, okay, we walk away.

889

I'm like, Dad, I don't care.

890

I don't think he cares if you walk away.

891

Don't walk away, I'm hungry.

892

He's like, Jimmy, it's better to be hungry than to pay full price.

893

And then my mom comes up behind us with four hot dogs.

894

And she was like, guess how much?

895

Thank you, guys.

896

Thank you.

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: 48 Minutes of Jimmy O. Yang | Guess How Much? - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

इस पाठ के बारे में

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?