शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Soccer and Life Skills | Lucas Capalbo | TEDxMSU - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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Today, I'm going to share with you the experience that changed my perspective about soccer.

I was born and raised in Brazil, and my biggest dream was to become a soccer player.

But at age 17, I realized that I wasn't good enough, and I just decided to quit.

But I loved the game so much that I wanted to dedicate my whole life to it.

I told myself that no matter what career I wanted to choose for myself, I wanted to dedicate it to soccer.

For example, I always told my friends that if I wanted to become a dentist, I want my clients to be soccer players.

Or if I wanted to be an engineer, I wanted to build stadiums.

But I loved the game so much that I decided to study sports science.

Even though a lot of people, including my dad, told me not to because he wouldn't give me money.

Throughout my career in college, I decided or I thought about being many careers within sports science.

Just like a physical therapist, a strength and conditioning coach.

And by my graduation, I wanted to be a sport agent just like Jerry Maguire.

After my graduation, I moved to Canada where I had the opportunity to talk to a professional coach in the city where I was living.

And then he convinced me about the soccer, about the coaching profession.

And that's the type of influence that I wanted to give to the game.

In the following year, I moved to Sweden to pursue a master's degree in sports psychology and also to start my career as a soccer coach.

I started getting my licenses, which is a big deal in soccer.

and I started coaching as an assistant for some local clubs.

After a while, I thought that I could be a head coach of a team.

So I got my resumes, started giving out, making some phone calls, and a few weeks later I got a call from a club in the city of Malmo who wanted me to be the head coach for their under-15 team for boys.

I remember the very first day that I was going to be introduced to my players.

I was in the locker room and then as I was in Sweden, I expected to see the typical Swedish person.

Tall, blue eyes, blonde hair.

But as the players are starting to arrive, I noticed that they looked very different.

They had darker skin, they had brown eyes, darker hair.

Most of them were named Ali, some others were named Mohammed.

And that day I learned that I was coaching a neighborhood called Rusengor.

Rusengor has over 20,000 people in that little neighborhood.

96% of that population has a foreign background and over 65% of that population was actually born outside of Sweden.

So most of them were refugees and immigrants from places like the Middle East, Northern Africa and also former Yugoslavia.

It was a completely melting pot.

However, the Swedish people thought that Ruzengård was a very dangerous place and because of that, kids in that neighborhood needed to be tough in order to survive, just like in any other hood.

First two weeks when I was starting coaching with them, the kids were so happy to have a Brazilian coach on their side and then everyone was very excited, but after they got used to having myself there, that's when the problems starting to arrive.

So the kids were starting out listening to me.

They were misbehaving, they were fighting, they were arguing.

Every time I wanted to do something a lot of resistance was coming from them.

I told myself I just need to do my job here.

I just need to teach these kids how to kick a ball.

I just need to teach these kids how to win games and maybe win a tournament.

And that's what I did.

I powered through all these problems and I only coached soccer.

We went to some tournaments.

We lost a few games.

We lost a few tournaments as well, but we became the state champions of that year.

What a great feeling.

My very first job as a head coach and I was the state champion.

I remember me carrying the trophy to the clubhouse where I would hand it to the secretary so she could have displayed it in the cabinet so everyone could see it.

I gave that trophy to her.

I turned around and went back to the field.

And for my surprise, the kids were fighting again.

They were arguing again.

And I asked myself, like, what's going on?

We just won a tournament.

These kids should be happy.

We just won a tournament.

They should be willing to learn more about it.

But no, they were fighting again.

So I just noticed that it was just bigger than just winning and losing.

Fast forward into the next season.

I went to Turkey with them for a training camp.

And I had a great opportunity to bond with them, create great guys.

They're funny, they're smart, they're very nice to be around with and hang out with them.

But on the field, it was always the trouble and trouble.

And then in Turkey, I just hit my limit.

I'm just like, I'm done with this.

I couldn't even coach anymore.

And I decided that whenever I went, when I went back to Sweden, I would just tell my boss that I quit.

So back in Sweden, I was on the train heading to what would be my last practice with that team and I was trying to think about what exactly I would tell my boss.

And as I was watching the TV news on the train, I saw a picture of one of my players being interviewed for that TV.

I took a close look at it and I found out that the school where most of my players were going to got shut

down for the entire day because the teachers had no more idea what to do with them with so many fights and so many trouble that they were causing.

But in that moment I realized that this is not only to soccer.

This is not only a problem that I'm having.

It's a problem that is just generalized in their own life.

In different settings that they live on.

So maybe I started telling myself that maybe these kids need me.

Or need someone just to be there for them.

And just to try to teach them not only kicking a ball but maybe something else.

I gave myself an ultimatum that day.

I would either quit or I would just start over, start fresh with a new goal which was building young men, not only soccer players.

I started doing some literature research and I came across a framework called Positive

Youth Development or PYD, which is basically a framework that coaches, teachers, mentors need to look at the kids on the bright side, on their strength and not their weaknesses.

And also we try to give them or equip them with some tools that they can be successful in their own environment.

We're not trying to create a problem-free world because that's utopia.

Second thing I learned about in this search was about life skills and transfer.

So basically, life skills are behavioral, cognitive, intrapersonal or interpersonal skills that we can teach in the context of sports or soccer.

and then these kids can transfer those skills to their reality, to their other settings.

Honestly, I thought that before, just by playing sports, kids will learn these type of things.

But the literature was telling me that I needed to be intentional.

I needed to teach those things intentionally and I needed to be explicit

in showing them how exactly they can get these things that they are learning in soccer and transfer to their school, transfer to their family, and also transfer to their community.

And that's what I did.

I created a code of conduct with a set of rules for them to stay on the team.

And we also went through some workshops throughout the season talking about time management, goal setting.

We placed them in some leadership positions, and we taught them how it is to be responsible for something.

And we also did something to help them in conflict resolution, which was one of the biggest problems that they faced.

I'm not going to lie to you guys, it was very tough.

Kids were not used to so much structure.

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So many things that they need to follow and so many lessons that in the beginning it was so hard for us to teach something.

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But with a little time and a little effort, kids were getting better, they were understanding, they were adjusting to this new code of conduct.

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But one little thing, bad thing would happen and it felt like everything else was just going to ground zero.

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Everything was going well and then something would happen on the field and then we went back again to ground zero.

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And then I saw myself on the bench waiting for the bus every single night frustrated because I couldn't accomplish what I wanted.

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And I always told myself, Lucas, this is the last time, this is the last week.

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But on the next day, I would wake up and tell myself, like, these kids need people like you.

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If you do not stick around, at least to show support to these kids, why do you study what you study?

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And that's what I did.

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I just kept going, kept going, showing up to these kids and trying my best.

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Unfortunately, in the end of the season, we lost many games.

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And if you know soccer, you know that if you get relegated to a lower division, it's a bad thing.

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And that's what happened to us.

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Kids were so disappointed because we worked so hard to try to win some games and we lost many bad games and it was terrible.

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But that's what the scoreboard is showing us.

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People only see these numbers.

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But they don't see how hard these kids worked.

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People don't see how many things they were taught and how many things they were trying to change or they were trying to adapt to their lives or how many lessons they were exposed to.

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That's the scoreboard doesn't show it.

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I remember after the season, I was having a meeting with my boss and my assistant coach, and we were talking about everything that happened in this season.

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When my assistant coach came to me and he asked, Lucas, why do you put so much effort into these kids?

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They are who they are.

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They're never going to change.

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And I started to think about what he was saying or what he told me.

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As these words were starting to make sense to me, I wanted to give him an answer, but I couldn't come up with anything.

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So remember I was reaching out for a soccer ball that was next to me and I was thinking, I looked at him and I said, yes, you are right.

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Maybe they're never going to change.

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They are who they are.

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But I'm sure that one day they're going to face a life and death situation.

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And because of something we said here or something that we did here, these kids are going to choose life.

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and that's when we know that our job wasn't in vain.

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Thank you.

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