शैडोइंग अभ्यास: The Psychology of Power, Silence, and Self-Control! | Robert Greene - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Nobody thinks of power in a positive sense.

If you want power in this world, you have to be strategic.

You have to think like that.

You have to think in terms of power.

Always say less than necessary.

You need to be aware of these things so that you don't inadvertently make them feel insecure and suffer the consequences.

You're probably talking too much in a lot of circumstances.

The feeling of powerlessness is actually more corrupting and the feeling of having a lot of power.

You need to be aware of them.

You need to be aware that other people are practicing them so that you don't become their victim.

Well, people have this misconception of power.

They think it has to do with, you know, CEOs and presidents and it's kind of ugly and dirty.

I have a much different conception of it.

It's something that has to do with your daily life.

Now, I have the idea that much in our lives, we cannot control.

You can throw a number out, 95%.

You can't control disease.

You can't control the people that you meet.

It's by chance that you met your wife and you fell in love and you ended up marrying her.

You kind of fall into jobs.

There's much in life that is way beyond your control, but there's a margin that you can control, right?

And it's mostly about your relationships.

It has to do with your children, your spouse, your partners, your colleagues at work, your bosses.

And the feeling that you have no control over them, that they can do whatever they want, that you have an idea and you want to sell it to them,

or you want somebody to stop their annoying behavior, and you can't control them, they're completely oblivious, they won't listen to anything you say,

is to me the worst feeling for a human being to have.

Right?

We're animals that need that sense of I can influence my environment, I can influence the people around me.

And the sense of helplessness is a very, very primal feeling.

It's like when you take an animal, I don't know if you have dogs or cats, and you put them on their belly, they feel exposed, they feel terrified, and that's when they attack you.

Well, that position is like being on our belly.

I can't control my teenage son, he's into drugs, my husband or my wife isn't listening to me, ugh, my boss is doing,

you know, you want the ability to be able to at least defend yourself

or to have some influence or power over them.

It's a small margin because there's much you can't control, but to the degree that you can have some of that power and you can...

And then there's one other aspect, probably the most important aspect that I'm forgetting here, is power over yourself, self-mastery, right?

Because a lot of the problems that you have in life, you can't really control yourself.

You're subject to all these emotions, moods, these things that grab you, that obsess you, that possess you.

Your mind has these recurrent thoughts.

You have no self-control and it drives you crazy.

You have a habit you want to get rid of.

You take some program, some class and three months later you're back at it.

Ah, you know, what is it?

So the sense that you can control yourself to a degree

and the sense that you can have some influence over people is power.

And the more you have it, the greater the feeling you have, because you can avoid that helplessness that makes all of us kind of crazy.

But a lot of it comes from our culture, which I think plays a very often a very negative role in our lives.

It teaches us the wrong kinds of lessons.

And so back in the days when it was television, now it's whatever you watch, whatever medium.

You know, all of the villains in the world were these power hungry

people in black coats with cars with the windows kind of blacked out, you know, and doing all sorts of evil, ugly things.

That's what we think of as power.

It's like a cultural trope that we've all digested, you know, this kind of Machiavellian character who's out to kind of destroy people.

Nobody thinks of power in a positive sense, and it's maddening, it drives me crazy.

It's incredibly hypocritical.

When self-help books are written and they're trying to say that power or ambition or influence are ugly things,

when the writer himself or herself is actually a very powerful person who has influence, who has control, it's awful.

It drove me crazy.

It's why I wrote the book.

If you want power in this book, if you are fighting for a cause, if you want some kind of justice, you have to be strategic.

You have to think like that.

You have to think in terms of power.

People just don't give themselves up.

Men are not just going to give up all their control in a place like Hollywood.

You have to hit them.

You have to be strong.

You have to be forceful.

It's a power game.

And I can't stand people who are naive, who think that just being themselves, just being virtuous, is going to get what they want in life.

If you're going to fight for something, you have to be able to meet the enemy on their terms of power power.

You have to understand there's an offensive and a defensive side of the laws, okay?

And I always tell people who have these kind of compunctions about crush your enemy totally.

I don't want to do that, neither do I.

Okay, so if you're reading a law and it kind of triggers this, ah I can't do that, then it's not something you should do anyway.

It's gonna, it's not gonna fit your way of doing it.

You have a certain style, a certain belief system, certain values.

I'm I'm not telling you to go outside your values.

But look at that law, which is probably the ugliest in the whole book, crush your enemy totally, and understand that in the business world,

that law prevails 95% of the time.

When a company like Google or any tech company has an enemy, their goal is to get rid of them completely, to buy them out, so they have no competitors, right?

Look at Amazon, but even smaller businesses dealing with rivals.

It's a dynamic in the business world.

So you need to be aware of it and not be naive.

You don't have to practice it, but you need to be aware of it.

Other laws are just simply trying to show you what, you know, we're animals that kind of base our opinions a lot on what we see and perceive.

We don't often think too deeply.

We kind of take people based on their appearances.

So there's a law of power in there called always say less than necessary.

Very kind of common sense law.

And the idea is that if you're in a meeting with people,

that man or woman who talks less generally has an aura of power, particularly a boss.

They seem enigmatic, mysterious, and when they do something, say something, everybody's hanging on their words.

What does that mean?

Whereas people who talk a lot give the impression that they're weak, they signal weakness.

They can't control themselves.

If they can't control themselves, how can they control anything in the business world, right?

So we sense that in people.

So be aware of that.

You're probably talking too much in a lot of circumstances, and maybe you can control that. And

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so this is kind of a way of defending yourself in

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an environment where people will tend to see you as weak if you can't have any self-control, right?

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So if you see that a law that's ugly, that makes you skin crawl, you don't want to do it, I have no problem with that.

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But you need to be aware of them.

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You need to be aware that other people are practicing them so that you don't become their victim.

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Then there are other laws that yes you should practice, right?

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Like appealing to people's self-interest when you're trying to influence them.

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Or despise the free lunch where you learn to pay for things

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and be generous with your time and your money for people.

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So it depends on the law.

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But I hate it when people say, oh what an evil book.

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Those are people who haven't read it because half the laws, or more than half, have nothing evil about them.

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And the other half are about opening your eyes.

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I never say you have to practice this.

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I'm just making you aware of reality of what goes on in the world.

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Power is a feeling.

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It's an essence.

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It's an emotion.

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It's a human need and desire.

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The feeling that you have with your children, with your spouse, with your colleagues, the people who work for you,

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the sense that you have no control, that you can't influence them with your ideas, that you can't get them to maybe,

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you know, soften some of their ugly behavior if they have that, that you can't get them interested in helping you with a project

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or whatever is the most miserable feeling a human being can have.

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Malcolm X had a quote that I love which is, absolute power corrupts, but absolute powerless corrupts even more.

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The feeling of powerlessness is actually more corrupting than the feeling of having a lot of power.

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It turns people into being passive aggressive, into playing all kinds of weird games, negative games to get power.

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You want to feel that you have a degree of control over events in your life, over people, over your future.

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And that to me is what power is.

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And so some of that involves these games that I mentioned in there, and some of it goes beyond the 48 Laws of Power,

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which I've tried to indicate in my other books.

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But it's the sense that I'm not helpless in this world.

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I remember when I first entered the work world as a very naive college graduate with all these ideals

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and things I'd read because I was studying literature and languages.

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I'm going, man, this is weird.

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People are playing all these kind of games.

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I mean, over my head.

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I made mistakes.

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I got fired for being too brash for outshining the master.

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It was painful.

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And so learning, you don't have to use the loss of power.

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I don't advocate crushing your enemy totally.

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I hope I don't have any enemies ever that I need to crush ever.

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You just need to know these things so that when you enter the work world, you're not naive, you're not stupid.

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You don't make the same kind of mistakes that I made.

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You spare yourself the pain.

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You understand the most fundamental thing about human nature.

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People have egos.

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Even your boss has an ego.

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You think he or she doesn't because they're powerful.

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They're even more insecure than other people.

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You need to be aware of these things so that you don't inadvertently make them feel insecure and suffer the consequences.

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Yeah, well, if you can't control yourself, then you're in a lot of trouble in this world, right?

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Because when you just naturally are yourself doing things, you're going to offend people.

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You learn early on we're social animals.

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I have to tailor my behavior.

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If you go on babbling about all about how you feel and think, etc., and you just say what's the first thing on your mind, you're going to end up having a very short career.

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You're going to be saying things that are going to offend people.

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You're going to be making a fool of yourself, you're going to be saying things that you end up regretting, right?

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You have no self-control.

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And if you see somebody who has no self-control, it makes them, it makes you look like you're not powerful.

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If you can't control yourself, how can you control anything in your environment?

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How can you be a leader, right?

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So you have to learn certain things about your nature, about who you are, and not just be anybody.

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You have to kind of tailor your appearances as well.

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Because for good or for bad, I'm a believer in looking at the human animal without shame and embarrassment, just as we are, right?

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And appearances matter.

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It's the animal part of our nature.

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We look at and we judge people by how they appear, how they dress, their tone of voice,

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their body language, etc, etc. It would be, in an ideal world, we wouldn't judge people by appearances, we would just judge them by what's inside of them.

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Yes, I agree with that, but that we're not ideal.

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We're not descended from angels, we're descended from primates.

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So, you have to understand that appearances matter, and this is part of the game,

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and so you have to control your appearances a little bit but you have to tailor it, you have to be a bit of actor in this world, on and on and on.

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You know, these are things that people don't like to admit about ourselves.

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We like to think that we were much more, much more idealistic, that we're, that these things really don't matter in the end.

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I wish it were that way, but it's not.

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I talk about it in the 48 Laws of Power, where you have You have to play this game in life.

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To me it's a form of wisdom, which is, it's a wisdom that used to exist like in the 18th century.

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I read a book

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that had a big impact on me many years ago called The Fall of Public Man by Richard Sennett,

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in which he described like cafe life in London in the 18th century or France.

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And he was saying back then, when you entered the public arena or your cafe, you knew you were an actor.

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You left the house, you put on the mask and you had fun.

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You know, you knew it was like fun.

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It was play.

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You know, when you're a child, you like playing games.

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You like putting on costumes.

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You like playing your parents or some character you saw on TV.

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It's part of human nature.

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We like to play these games.

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We're role players.

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We're actors.

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And he was saying in the 18th century, that was just a given in life, that when you entered the public realm, you knew you were an actor.

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And then when you went home to your wife, your family, or your husband or wherever, you drop the mask, you breathe a deep sigh of relief,

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go, now I can be who I am, right?

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And it wasn't a problem.

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It didn't create neuroses.

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It didn't create this like, what's wrong with me?

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I don't know who I am anymore.

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So people now, the problem now is we don't have distance from that social realm.

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And so we think that if we're acting, that's who we are.

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But it's not.

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It's just that's part of being a social animal, is playing a role.

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So what I tell people is, we all are actors.

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Humans are born actors.

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We learn at a very early age to play that kind of game.

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It's kind of fun sometimes to do that, you know?

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Have a, enjoy that part of life, but don't think that it, don't get it confused with who you are and your essence.

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That's sort of the dance you're playing between those two things.

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: The Psychology of Power, Silence, and Self-Control! | Robert Greene - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?