シャドーイング練習: 7 Things No Programmer Ever Wants to Hear - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

Being a software engineer sucks.

I was told I would be working in a fast-paced, exciting environment, but in reality, I'm stuck in this cubicle, building super complex stuff that nobody understands or appreciates.

If I had a time machine, I would do two things.

One, I would tell Harambe to get away from that kid.

NOOOOO!

And two, I would go back to school to become a civil engineer, so I could work outside building stuff everyone admires, like bridges and skyscrapers.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to build a time machine in JavaScript yet.

Now, I would never recommend anybody choose software engineering as a career, but if you do make bad life choices like me, you should be prepared for some really bad things to happen.

Like, every doctor eventually loses a patient, and every pilot eventually crashes a plane.

Likewise, every software engineer will eventually face a merge conflict, and that's not even very bad.

In today's video, we'll look at 7 different devastating text messages that no developer ever wants to hear.

Speaking of which, I finally started a Discord, so feel free to chat with me over there after this video.

We've got some t-shirts and licenses to JetBrains software to give away over there.

One of the biggest problems with software engineering is

that you don't want your friends and family to find out what you do.

The reason is you'll get messages like this from your uncle

or old roommate asking if you want to build an app together.

It will consist of a very dumb idea that's impossibly complex to execute, like Uber but for horses, or TikTok without the Chinese, with a $500 budget.

Messages like this are so painful

because software engineers are usually introverts who have a hard time saying no. What you'll wanna do is respond and say, hey, that's an awesome idea.

I would love to build it for you, but my rate is $300 an hour.

What they'll likely do is come back with a counter offer of $0 per hour, but 10% equity in the company, which will eventually be worth billions.

That's pretty much checkmate.

Check speaks for itself.

I would just recommend accepting the offer and building the app to get them to go away.

Now, when you're not building apps for friends and family, you should be working on your own side projects.

And in doing that, you'll likely use the cloud like AWS.

One of the worst messages you can receive is a cloud billing alert like, Hey, it's AWS.

Your $25 budget has been exceeded by $2.3 million.

Maybe you clicked the wrong button or accidentally created an infinite loop, but the important thing here is not to panic.

The easiest solution is to just stop using AWS and pretend nothing ever happened.

If Jeff ever sends his guys after you, just tell them your account got hacked.

That may or may not work, and

if it doesn't, you can at least find comfort in knowing there are many

other homeless people out there who simply forgot to turn off an EC2 instance.

Another dreaded, catastrophic thing a developer doesn't want to hear is that a production database has been dropped accidentally, along with all of your company's data that was worth billions of dollars.

You just made the simple mistake of dropping prod instead of dev.

When something like this happens, it's absolutely terrifying, but hopefully you have backups that are able to restore it back to its original state.

If not, now would be a good time to start looking for a new job.

Dropping a database is incredibly easy and can be accomplished with a single line of code.

You can use this knowledge to fight back against the system, as this person did here, by weaponizing SQL injection against speed cameras.

Dropping a database is bad, but at least it's over quickly.

Many developers suffer a worse fate, like this guy who got a message from his boss, assigning him to a legacy AngularJS version 1 codebase that needs to be migrated to Angular 14.

Sadly, the previous developer died of old age, and was the only one who had any idea how anything in this codebase worked.

He knew exactly how to keep his job by creating an overly complex codebase without any comments or documentation, and now it's your turn to update it.

Fuck my life.

This job will take more skill and ingenuity than building a nuclear submarine, and when you finally finish the job in a few years, no one will even notice or care,

because by that time it'll be time to migrate your legacy codebase into the hot new JavaScript framework of 2025.

Speaking of which, something a web developer never wants to hear is that a new, better JavaScript framework has been invented.

When you learn a JavaScript framework, you join a tribe, and that means everything outside that tribe is dangerous and terrible.

Now normally, you can create an echo chamber to convince yourself

that your chosen framework is absolutely 100% the best in every use case.

However, at some point, you may be convinced that a better framework does in fact exist.

When that day comes, you'll need to turn your back on your tribe and lose many friends in the process.

And it's not exactly easy to make new friends when you're a software engineer.

I can't sit here.

But one of the most annoying things that can happen to you is when a non-technical person, like a client or marketing expert, asks you to make one small change to an already finished product.

Like, let's just move this nav bar from the top over to the side here.

It should be an easy change for you to make.

You don't not want to look like a 10x developer, so you go ahead and do it, But it takes like 20 hours and modifications in a hundred different HTML and CSS files.

Then as soon as you commit your work, that same person will come back and say, you know what, I think I liked it better the first way.

Let's go ahead and change it back.

It's no secret that the most important skill of a software engineer is being able to Google things effectively.

That means one of the worst things

that can happen to you is running into a problem that nobody else has already solved for you.

It's painful enough when zero results come back on Google with your error message, but an even worse thing can happen.

You might search an error and get a single result on an obscure forum from 10 years ago, and find some dude going through the exact same problem as you.

As you scroll down, hoping for a well-documented and detailed solution, you find that all he posted was fixed, all good now.

And now you have to figure out the problem all by yourself.

Being the Chad that you are, you get to work, and as soon as you're about to solve the problem, you get a notification that it's time for your daily stand-up meeting.

Thanks for watching, and I will see you in the next one.

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シャドーイング練習: 7 Things No Programmer Ever Wants to Hear - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

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