쉐도잉 연습: English Podcast for Easy English Conversation | How to Use CAN, COULD, and WOULD | Learn English - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Speak English with Emmy.

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Speak English with Emmy.

I'm Emi.

And I am Max.

Hello, everyone.

Ready for another great episode.

That's the energy I like to hear, Max.

You seem to be in a fantastic mood today.

Well, I am now because I'm here in the safe studio, but outside, the real world is dangerous, Emmy.

I need to file a complaint.

Oh no, did you get lost again?

Is your phone battery dead?

No, my navigation was perfect.

It was a people problem.

I went to that fancy new coffee shop downtown.

You know, the one with the exposed brick walls and the expensive espresso machines.

Ah, the Boone Lab.

I love that place.

The baristas are usually so friendly.

Friendly, Emmy.

The guy looked at me like I was a criminal.

He literally slammed my coffee cup on the counter, didn't smile, and just walked away.

I felt like I was in an action movie and I had insulted his family.

That doesn't sound right at all.

Max, let's play detective.

What exactly did you do?

I was a perfect customer.

I waited in line quietly, I walked up to the counter, and I gave him my order, clear and confident.

Okay.

Tell me exactly, word for word, what you said to him.

I looked him right in the eye and said, "Give me a black coffee.

I want milk on the side.

Sit there." Oh, Max.

No wonder he slammed the cup down.

What?

What did I do?

It is grammatically correct.

Give is the verb.

Coffee is the object.

I want is my desire.

I even pointed to the chair to be helpful.

It is perfect English.

Max, it is grammatically correct for a bank robber.

You sounded like you were demanding a ransom, not ordering a drink.

You are exaggerating.

I am really not.

Listen to the tone.

Give me.

I want.

Sit there.

In English, this is what we call the directness trap.

You used the imperative form, the command form.

You gave him direct orders.

But in my native language that is completely normal.

We go into a shop, we say what we want, and we get it.

We are direct.

It's efficient.

I know, and that is one of the biggest cultural hurdles for English learners.

In many cultures, directness shows honesty and efficiency.

But in English -speaking cultures, especially in the UK, USA, and Canada, directness equals rudeness.

So I wasn't being efficient?

I was just being rude?

You treated the barista like a robot.

You didn't use any softeners.

Softeners?

Like the stuff I put in my laundry?

Exactly like that.

In grammar, we use modal verbs, words like can, could, would, and may, as the fabric softener for your sentences.

They are the airbags in a conversation.

They soften the impact of your words so you don't crash into the other person.

I feel terrible.

Don't worry, Max.

It is a very common mistake.

Today, we are going to climb the ladder of politeness.

We are going to take your caveman sentences and translate them into polite, natural, advanced English.

Please, because I want to go back there tomorrow and show him I'm actually a nice person.

We will get you ready.

Let's start with the most basic request.

asking for things without demanding them.

Alright, Max, let's look at your first crime.

You walked up to a stranger and used the imperative: "Give me a black coffee." I thought I was being clear.

Give is the action.

It is an action, but when you start a sentence with a verb in English, it is a command.

You are acting like a general in the army, talking to a soldier: sit down, stand up, give me.

We call this level zero on the politeness ladder.

You only use this if there's an emergency or if you are very angry.

Okay, level 0 is deleted from my brain.

I don't want to be an angry general.

So, what is level 1?

Level 1 is the word "can".

Instead of a command, we turn it into a question: "Can I have a black coffee?" Can I have?

That sounds okay.

It is easy to remember.

Informal.

You use "can" with your best friends, your family, or people you know very well.

It suggests that you have a close, casual relationship with the person.

So if I say "can I have a coffee" to the barista, is that bad?

It's not a disaster, but it can sound a bit too casual, especially in a nice place or with someone you have never met.

If you want to be a polite adult, you need to step up to level two: could.

Could I have a black coffee?

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Yes, that is the gold standard for daily life.

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But wait, Emi, I know my grammar.

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Could is the past tense of can.

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Why am I using the past tense to ask for a coffee right now?

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I don't want the coffee yesterday.

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That is a brilliant question.

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This is the secret to English politeness.

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When we use modals for requests, we're not talking about time, we're using the past tense to create distance.

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Distance?

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Like physical distance?

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I should stand further away from the counter?

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No, not physical distance.

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Psychological distance.

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In English, being direct is too close, too personal.

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When we use the past tense modal "could," it creates a soft, polite cushion between you and the stranger.

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It makes the request less direct, which makes it more polite.

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Wow, polite distance.

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That actually makes a lot of sense.

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So can is close and friendly, and could gives them some polite space.

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Exactly.

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Let's do a quick quiz.

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Imagine you're at home and your brother is standing near the salt.

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What do you say?

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He's my brother.

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We have zero polite distance.

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I say, can you pass the salt?

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Perfect.

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Now you're at a fancy business dinner with the CEO of your company.

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You need the salt.

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Ah, lots of distance.

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I say, could you pass the salt, please?

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Nailed it.

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So let's fix your coffee order.

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Replace "give me" with level 2.

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Okay, excuse me, could I have a black coffee?

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Beautiful.

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You sound like a gentleman.

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The barista is smiling.

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But wait, you aren't finished.

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After that, you hit him with another verbal truck.

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Right, I said "I want milk on the side." Yes, and "I want" is the most dangerous phrase a learner can use.

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So we fixed the first part of your order.

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You used "Could I have a black coffee" instead of "Give me?" But then,

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Max, you said "I want milk on the side." Yes, because black coffee is too bitter.

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I needed milk.

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I understand the need for milk, Max, but let's look at the psychology of the phrase "I want." Close your eyes

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and picture a three -year -old child in a supermarket.

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They see a chocolate bar.

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What do they say?

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They scream, "I want chocolate!

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I want it now !" Exactly.

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"I want" is a statement of raw, selfish desire.

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A toddler uses it because they don't care about the other person's feelings, and they don't care if it's actually possible to get the chocolate.

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They just know their desire.

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Oh dear, so I basically stood in a fancy cafe acting like a giant 30 -year -old toddler throwing a tantrum for milk.

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A little bit.

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The barista is a professional doing their job, not your parent.

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We have to show respect.

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To do that, we use the magic polite modal, "would." Wood, like the wood from a tree.

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It sounds exactly the same, yes.

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W -O -U -L -D.

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We change the demanding "I want" to the polite conditional "I would like." I would like milk on the side.

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It sounds very fancy, like I am having tea with the king.

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Do I need to wear a top hat to say this?

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It's not just for the king, Max.

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It's universal English politeness.

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"I would like" softly means: "If it is possible and if it isn't too much trouble,

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my preference is milk." That is a lot of hidden meaning in three little words.

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Yes, but here's the secret to sounding like a native speaker:

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if you walk into a cafe and say "I would like milk," pronouncing every word carefully,

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you will sound a bit like a robot or a textbook.

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I don't want to be a robot or a toddler.

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What do I do?

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You have to use the contraction.

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Native speakers almost never say "I would like" in daily life.

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We squeeze the first two words together.

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"I would" becomes eyed like my "I" and a "D".

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I'd.

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Yes, I'd like.

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Let's practice.

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I am the waiter.

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Tell me you want a blueberry muffin.

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I'd like a blueberry muffin, please.

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Tell me you want the Wi -Fi password.

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I'd like the Wi -Fi password, please.

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Excellent!

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It flows so much better.

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It's fast, natural, and perfectly polite.

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So now you have two amazing tools in your pocket.

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You have the polite question, "Could I have?" and the polite statement, "I'd like." So I can mix them together.

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I can say to the barista, "Excuse me, could I have a black coffee and I'd like milk on the side, please?" That is absolute perfection.

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If you say that, the barista will probably give you a big smile and a free cookie.

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You sound relaxed and fluent.

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Yes, I am redeemed.

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I am a gentleman of the café once again.

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And then, feeling confident, I can proudly point to the table in the corner and say, "Sit there." Oh, Max, we fixed the coffee,

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we fixed the milk, but we still haven't fixed the chair.

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But I was just telling him where I was going.

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You gave him another command.

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We need to talk about asking for permission.

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Okay, Max, now you pointed at a table in the corner and said to the waiter, "Sit there."

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Yes, I was trying to tell him where I was going to be so he could bring the coffee to me.

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Max, when you use a verb like that with no subject, it is a direct command to the person you were talking to.

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You basically looked at a busy waiter and ordered him to take a seat.

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Oh no. He probably thought I was crazy or that I was telling him to take his break.

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again.

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Don't panic, but this is exactly why we need to ask for permission.

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You needed to ask if the table was free for you to sit at.

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Okay, permission.

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I remember this from my school days.

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The teacher always told us the rule.

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I should say, "May I sit there?" Ah, yes.

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The classic "may" vs. "can" debate.

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Because "can" means physical ability, right?

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If I say, "Can I sit there?" the teacher would say, "I don't know, can you?

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Do your legs work?" speaking,

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"may" is for permission and "can" is for ability.

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So I should use "may"?

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May I have a coffee?

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May I sit there?

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You can use "may".

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It is 100 % grammatically correct and very polite.

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But Max, remember the context.

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You are in a modern, slightly hipster coffee shop called The Bean Lab.

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Yes, the barista had tattoos and a very cool apron.

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If you walk up to him and say, "Excuse me, sir, may I sit there?" You are going to sound a little bit like a time traveler from the 1800s,

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or like you are speaking to the queen.

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Really?

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May is too formal?

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Welcome to level three, Max.

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This is the highest level of polite requests.

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You use this when you are asking a stranger for a big favor, or when you want to be extremely respectful.

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I am ready.

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I have my pen.

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What is the magic phrase?

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The phrase is, would you mind?

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Would you mind?

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Okay, that sounds very gentle, like I'm asking about their feelings before I ask them to do something.

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That is exactly what you are doing.

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To mind means to be annoyed or bothered by something.

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So you are literally asking, will it bother you if I ask for this?

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That is a very nice way to talk to people.

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So I can say to the waiter, "Would you mind to give me a coffee?" Oh,

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so close, Max, but no. Level 3 has a special grammar rule.

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You cannot use to plus the verb.

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You must use an -ing verb, a gerund.

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Uh, English grammar.

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It always gives you a beautiful present but wraps it in complicated paper.

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So I need an -ing.

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Yes.

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Let's imagine a different situation in the cafe.

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You want to sit at a table, but someone's jacket is on the chair.

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You don't say, "Move your jacket." You use level three.

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Would you mind moving your jacket? perfect, or imagine you are cold, would you mind closing the window?

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It is the softest, most polite way to ask a stranger to do an action.

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Would you mind moving?

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Would you mind closing?

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I like this.

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It feels very advanced.

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But wait, Emi, What if I want to do the action?

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What if I want to sit in the chair?

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Do I say, Would you mind my sitting?

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Great question.

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If you are doing the action, you add the word "if." Would you mind if I… and then you use the past tense.

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Would you mind if I sat here?

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Would you mind if I sat here?

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Wow, that is definitely level 3.

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That's CEO -level English.

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It is.

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But Max, here's the most dangerous part of Level 3: you have to understand how native speakers answer this question.

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It's a famous paradox.

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A paradox?

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You're scaring me.

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Let's roleplay.

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Max, ask me if you can sit in the empty chair next to me.

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Use level 3.

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Excuse me, would you mind if I sat here?

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No, not at all.

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Go ahead.

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Wait, you said no, so I can't sit there?

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Ha!

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Yes, you can sit.

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But you just said no. No, not at all.

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Why are you telling me no if you want me to sit?

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Think about the verb, Max.

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What did you ask me?

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You asked, "Would it bother you if I sat here?" Oh, and your answer is, "No, it does not bother me." Exactly!

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This confuses learners all the time.

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With "Would you mind?" a "no" means yes, you can do it.

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"No, I don't mind." "No, not at all." "No, go right ahead." That is completely crazy.

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What happens if you say "yes"?

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If I say "yes, I mind," it means I am annoyed.

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"Yes, I actually do mind, my friend is sitting there." So a "yes" means "no, you can't." My brain is upside down.

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Yes is no, no is yes.

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It takes a little practice, but once you understand the logic, that you are answering the word mind, it makes perfect sense.

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Okay, so let's recap my coffee shop disaster.

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Level zero, rude.

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"Give me coffee.

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I want milk.

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Sit there." Level 1: Casual.

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"Can I have a coffee?" Level 2: Polite distance.

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"Could I have a coffee?

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I'd like some milk." Level 3: Ultimate softener.

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"Would you mind if I sat there?" Max, look at that progress.

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You went from a caveman to a diplomat in 15 minutes.

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I feel like a new man.

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I am ready.

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Alright Max, you have the tools.

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You understand the polite distance of could, the soft desire of I'd like,

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and the ultimate paradox of would you mind.

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It is time for your redemption.

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I am ready.

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I am no longer a caveman.

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I am a gentleman of the English language.

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Let's prove it.

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We are going to do a role play right now.

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I am the tattooed grista at the Bean Lab.

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You are the customer.

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I want you to order your black coffee, ask for your milk, and check if you can sit at the corner table.

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Let's do this.

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Okay.

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Next in line, please.

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Hey, man, what can I get for you today?

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Hello, could I have a large black coffee, please?

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Sure thing.

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Just the black coffee?

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Actually, I'd like some milk on the side if possible.

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No problem.

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I'll put a little jug of milk on the tray for you.

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Is this for here or to go?

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For here, please.

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Oh, and would you mind if I sat at that table in the corner?

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No, not at all.

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Go right ahead.

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I'll bring your coffee over in a minute.

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Thank you very much.

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Max, that was absolutely flawless!

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10 out of 10!

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Emi, I did it.

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And my brain didn't panic when you said, "No, not at all." I knew that meant, "Yes, take the table." You navigated the paradox perfectly.

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How did it feel compared to your first attempt this morning?

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It felt so much better.

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I didn't feel like I was fighting with you.

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It felt like a smooth, friendly conversation.

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The softeners really do work like magic.

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They do.

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They change the entire energy of the interaction.

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You give people respect, and they give it right back to you.

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I guarantee if you go back to the Bean Lab tomorrow and use this exact script, you will get a smile.

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I am definitely going back.

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I might even leave a tip this time.

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That's the spirit.

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So to all our listeners out there, let's do a quick recap of the ladder of politeness so you never accidentally sound like a bank robber.

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Step 1.

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Delete the imperative.

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Never start with the verd.

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Give me.

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Step 2: Use "could" instead of "can" for polite distance with strangers:

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"could I have?" Step 3: Never say "I want" – say "I'd like." Step 4: For big favors or permission,

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use "would you mind if I?" and remember that "no" means "yes, go ahead." This is a survival guide for cafes,

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restaurants, and basically all of the UK and North America.

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Absolutely.

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We challenge all of you listening right now.

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The next time you order a coffee or buy something in a shop, use "could I have" or "I'd like" and notice how the other person reacts.

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Tell us your stories in the comments.

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Have you ever accidentally been rude in English like I was?

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Yes, we love hearing your stories.

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What is your favorite polite phrase to use?

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Let us know down below.

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It sounds so intelligent.

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It suits you, Max!

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Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Speak English with Emi.

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Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with a friend who might need some politeness softeners.

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Keep practicing, don't be a caveman, and we will see you next week.

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Bye everyone!

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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