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I've been asked a few times for advice on dealing with haters and honestly,
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I've been asked a few times for advice on dealing with haters and honestly,
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I don't know if I have any advice because the way I see it,
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haters are secretly your biggest supporters.
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And I've seen way too many examples of women
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or just people in general who were very publicly hated
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or at least had a period where they underwent some heat and because they didn't allow it to cancel them,
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it actually worked in their favor.
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Let's unpack that so that instead of quote-unquote dealing with haters,
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you can leverage them to your advantage.
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Welcome back to the Iggar playbook.
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Today, we will be exploring the upside of haters and the power of hate.
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Before we do so, we need to first understand the psychology of hate.
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If we were to analyze hate as an emotion,
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we can categorize it as a strong emotion,
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which also means strong attention.
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And in today's day and age, attention is currency.
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People who quote unquote hate you,
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they often spread your name even more than fans,
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and in doing so, they amplify your name,
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your reach, and therefore, your influence,
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whether they mean to or not.
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And there's several reasons and psychology as to why and how negative attention often travels faster and sticks longer than positive attention,
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one of that being the negativity bias.
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Our brains, they're wired to notice and react to negative events more strongly than positive ones.
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From an evolutionary standpoint, we used to pay more attention to threats like danger,
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betrayal, or loss because they helped us survive,
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which is why even today,
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bad news feel more urgent and more impactful than good news.
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This is the same reason why many of us find ourselves focusing on
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that one mean comment rather than the 10 good ones or the 10 compliments that we receive.
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It feels more threatening and therefore more urgent.
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The second reason is the relationship between emotional intensity and virality.
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They say that people can forget what you say,
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but they will always remember how you make them feel.
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That is the power of emotions,
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but not all emotions are created equal.
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Strong emotions like anger, disgust,
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and shock are more likely to be shared
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because these are high arousal emotions that create energy
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which encourages people to do something about it and to take action like sharing it,
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talking about it, venting about it a lot more than respective positive emotions like being content
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because when you're content even though it's a positive emotion it doesn't build up as much energy.
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And as a result, it doesn't encourage as much action.
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There's also social value when outrage is used as social bonding.
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Sharing a collective outrage makes people feel connected to a community,
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almost like being part of a team.
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I think it was last month where there was this antipasto lady drama that was going on,
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and I think that is a perfect example of this.
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There was a woman who got invited to a neighborhood party
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or gathering and she brought an antipasto salad with expensive meat that she brought from the store,
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homemade mozzarella, and homegrown tomatoes because she wanted to make a good impression.
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But the host wasn't very welcoming and so she left crying
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and feeling very embarrassed and it seemed like this issue united the entire internet.
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Sometimes it is about the issue but there's also social value
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and it feels rewarding to be quote-unquote in on the outrage
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because there is a sense of belonging and a feeling of community.
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When you combine our negativity bias,
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the emotional intensity of hate,
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and the social value of outrage as social bonding, something interesting happens.
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Any attempts to suppress or quote-unquote cancel something or someone,
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it actually makes the issue at hand explode even more.
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This is called the Streisand effect.
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The harder people try to silence controversy,
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the more attention it gets,
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and the wider it spreads.
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It actually came from the very real life example of Barbara Streisand who tried to suppress aerial photos of her Malibu home,
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and before she sued, the photos had only been downloaded a handful of times.
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But after the lawsuit went public,
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tens and thousands of people downloaded the photos.
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And so, you see how the attempts to silence or cancel something,
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it often gives it more visibility.
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The harder people push back,
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the more powerful the message becomes.
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These examples and explanations all highlight the fascinating psychological pattern of how
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and why negative attention often spreads faster and sticks longer than positive attention.
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And so now that you understand the psychology of this,
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Why is it relevant?
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Which leads us to the next section, the economics of hate.
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In The Wolf of Wall Street,
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there is that infamous saying that there is no such thing as bad publicity.
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And that pretty much explains the economics of hate.
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If you're familiar with Rebecca Black's song Friday,
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you're probably aware of how many people say,
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how much they hate it,
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how cringe it is, and how bad the song is.
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Yet, it has over 175 million views.
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That is quite impressive for a song that everyone claims they hate.
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And those who can tolerate the comments,
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the hate, and the remarks understand the power of hate and its profitability.
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Let's take a look at a few examples.
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And one of the most recent ones is none other than Sydney Sweeney and her American Eagle campaign.
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For background, she did an ad that sparked a lot of controversy online
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because people thought the ads were too suggestive for a teen-focused brand
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and on top of that people thought the message was also suggestive with the play on words
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when she said my jeans are better than yours there was a ton of backlash
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that drew debates created a lot of articles
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and overall a lot of attention those jeans sold out
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and american eagle made millions of dollars in revenue there is also that example with Michaela Nogueira and the L'Oreal scandal.
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Michaela is a beauty influencer who didn't add for a mascara
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and the TikTok blew up with accusations of her being not honest,
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saying that she tried to fake the results of the mascara with false eyelashes.
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There were tons of people making duets and breakdowns of her video,
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literally analyzing it frame by frame,
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zooming in and out, and she got a ton of pee for it.
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But what exactly happened to the mascara?
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It sold out literally everywhere and L'Oreal made tons and tons of money.
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Kanye West is also a great example of someone who is always doing or saying something controversial and quite ridiculous.
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A lot of people hate him,
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saying he is arrogant, crazy,
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etc. But we also cannot deny that he is famous and he has made his fair share of fortunes from it.
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For business, understanding the power of hate and leveraging it means sales and literal profits,
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but for artists, it can mean streams.
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For celebrities, it can mean fame,
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but for you, it can be whatever works in your favor.
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Hate generates attention.
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Attention drives visibility, and visibility can translate into very real-world and real-life gains.
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Your haters, whether they mean to or not,
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are amplifying your brand and your name for free.
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Of course, not all hate is equal, nuance matters.
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If the hate destroys trust and there is actual harm involved,
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then of course it can create actual damage.
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But if it's controversy, opinions,
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or personality driven, or even success driven,
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don't be afraid to lean into it.
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And it definitely isn't the end of the world.
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We've all seen this with Shira Seven.
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She has plenty of people who hate her,
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call her a narcissist, a gold digger,
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and many other colorful terms.
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And what does she do?
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She stays true to what she preaches and she leans into it.
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And even published books called I Bring Nothing to the Table and How to Avoid Dust.
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This is genuinely what she believes and what she preaches.
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It's not necessarily hurting anyone, it's just controversial.
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When people started clipping her on TikTok,
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she received her fair share of heat,
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but her channel is growing and I'm sure her success and her money is growing as well.
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And so let's tie all of this back to you and how to turn hate into power.
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Because here's the truth, hate is inevitable when you're not really doing anything wrong and especially when you're doing something right.
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But instead of fearing it,
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you can recognize it for what it is.
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Proof that you're visible, you're memorable,
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and you're making some sort of impact.
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I'm not saying that you should go out of your way to attract hate,
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but what I am saying is that if you come across someone who you would categorize as a hater,
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I hope that this episode can provide a different perspective.
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A lot of people abandon their goals or their dreams the second someone makes a comment,
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but the way I see it,
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the moment people start quote-unquote hating,
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it should be a sign that you're heading in the right direction.
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And so if anything, whatever it is that you're doing, keep going.
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The only way for no one to even notice you,
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let alone talk about you or hate you,
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is if you're doing nothing and you have nothing going on in life.
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And so the power lies in how you choose to respond.
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This is one thing that Trisha Paytas has said that I find so incredibly valuable.
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She said that nobody can cancel you if you cancel yourself first.
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And my takeaway from that is that you cannot control hate,
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but you can control whether or not you let it cancel you,
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your goals, and your dreams.
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And not only this, you can use it to your advantage.
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And so with all of that said,
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I hope that this answers that question on how to deal with haters.
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Haters are inevitable, especially if you plan on doing anything meaningful with your life.
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You can't avoid the hate,
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but you can leverage it,
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which I hope that you do.
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That's it for today.
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Thank you for tuning in.
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Be sure to check out the Aker newsletter for episode recap to join in on the conversation
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and to help decide on what to explore next.
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I hope to see you in our next episode and in the meantime,
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as always, stay hot.
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Bye!
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