Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: How to deal with haters
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I've been asked a few times for advice on dealing with haters and honestly,
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I've been asked a few times for advice on dealing with haters and honestly,
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I don't know if I have any advice because the way I see it,
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haters are secretly your biggest supporters.
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And I've seen way too many examples of women
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or just people in general who were very publicly hated
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or at least had a period where they underwent some heat and because they didn't allow it to cancel them,
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it actually worked in their favor.
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Let's unpack that so that instead of quote-unquote dealing with haters,
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you can leverage them to your advantage.
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Welcome back to the Iggar playbook.
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Today, we will be exploring the upside of haters and the power of hate.
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Before we do so, we need to first understand the psychology of hate.
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If we were to analyze hate as an emotion,
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we can categorize it as a strong emotion,
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which also means strong attention.
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And in today's day and age, attention is currency.
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People who quote unquote hate you,
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they often spread your name even more than fans,
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and in doing so, they amplify your name,
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your reach, and therefore, your influence,
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whether they mean to or not.
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And there's several reasons and psychology as to why and how negative attention often travels faster and sticks longer than positive attention,
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one of that being the negativity bias.
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Our brains, they're wired to notice and react to negative events more strongly than positive ones.
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From an evolutionary standpoint, we used to pay more attention to threats like danger,
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betrayal, or loss because they helped us survive,
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which is why even today,
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bad news feel more urgent and more impactful than good news.
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This is the same reason why many of us find ourselves focusing on
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that one mean comment rather than the 10 good ones or the 10 compliments that we receive.
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It feels more threatening and therefore more urgent.
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The second reason is the relationship between emotional intensity and virality.
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They say that people can forget what you say,
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but they will always remember how you make them feel.
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That is the power of emotions,
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but not all emotions are created equal.
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Strong emotions like anger, disgust,
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and shock are more likely to be shared
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because these are high arousal emotions that create energy
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which encourages people to do something about it and to take action like sharing it,
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talking about it, venting about it a lot more than respective positive emotions like being content
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because when you're content even though it's a positive emotion it doesn't build up as much energy.
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And as a result, it doesn't encourage as much action.
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There's also social value when outrage is used as social bonding.
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Sharing a collective outrage makes people feel connected to a community,
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almost like being part of a team.
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I think it was last month where there was this antipasto lady drama that was going on,
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and I think that is a perfect example of this.
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There was a woman who got invited to a neighborhood party
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or gathering and she brought an antipasto salad with expensive meat that she brought from the store,
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homemade mozzarella, and homegrown tomatoes because she wanted to make a good impression.
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But the host wasn't very welcoming and so she left crying
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and feeling very embarrassed and it seemed like this issue united the entire internet.
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Sometimes it is about the issue but there's also social value
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and it feels rewarding to be quote-unquote in on the outrage
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because there is a sense of belonging and a feeling of community.
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When you combine our negativity bias,
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the emotional intensity of hate,
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and the social value of outrage as social bonding, something interesting happens.
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Any attempts to suppress or quote-unquote cancel something or someone,
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it actually makes the issue at hand explode even more.
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This is called the Streisand effect.
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The harder people try to silence controversy,
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the more attention it gets,
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and the wider it spreads.
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It actually came from the very real life example of Barbara Streisand who tried to suppress aerial photos of her Malibu home,
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and before she sued, the photos had only been downloaded a handful of times.
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But after the lawsuit went public,
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tens and thousands of people downloaded the photos.
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And so, you see how the attempts to silence or cancel something,
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it often gives it more visibility.
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The harder people push back,
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the more powerful the message becomes.
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These examples and explanations all highlight the fascinating psychological pattern of how
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and why negative attention often spreads faster and sticks longer than positive attention.
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And so now that you understand the psychology of this,
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Why is it relevant?
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Which leads us to the next section, the economics of hate.
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In The Wolf of Wall Street,
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there is that infamous saying that there is no such thing as bad publicity.
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And that pretty much explains the economics of hate.
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If you're familiar with Rebecca Black's song Friday,
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you're probably aware of how many people say,
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how much they hate it,
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how cringe it is, and how bad the song is.
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Yet, it has over 175 million views.
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That is quite impressive for a song that everyone claims they hate.
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And those who can tolerate the comments,
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the hate, and the remarks understand the power of hate and its profitability.
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Let's take a look at a few examples.
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And one of the most recent ones is none other than Sydney Sweeney and her American Eagle campaign.
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For background, she did an ad that sparked a lot of controversy online
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because people thought the ads were too suggestive for a teen-focused brand
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and on top of that people thought the message was also suggestive with the play on words
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when she said my jeans are better than yours there was a ton of backlash
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that drew debates created a lot of articles
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and overall a lot of attention those jeans sold out
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and american eagle made millions of dollars in revenue there is also that example with Michaela Nogueira and the L'Oreal scandal.
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Michaela is a beauty influencer who didn't add for a mascara
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and the TikTok blew up with accusations of her being not honest,
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saying that she tried to fake the results of the mascara with false eyelashes.
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There were tons of people making duets and breakdowns of her video,
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literally analyzing it frame by frame,
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zooming in and out, and she got a ton of pee for it.
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But what exactly happened to the mascara?
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It sold out literally everywhere and L'Oreal made tons and tons of money.
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Kanye West is also a great example of someone who is always doing or saying something controversial and quite ridiculous.
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A lot of people hate him,
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saying he is arrogant, crazy,
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etc. But we also cannot deny that he is famous and he has made his fair share of fortunes from it.
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For business, understanding the power of hate and leveraging it means sales and literal profits,
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but for artists, it can mean streams.
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For celebrities, it can mean fame,
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but for you, it can be whatever works in your favor.
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Hate generates attention.
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Attention drives visibility, and visibility can translate into very real-world and real-life gains.
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Your haters, whether they mean to or not,
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are amplifying your brand and your name for free.
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Of course, not all hate is equal, nuance matters.
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If the hate destroys trust and there is actual harm involved,
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then of course it can create actual damage.
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But if it's controversy, opinions,
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or personality driven, or even success driven,
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don't be afraid to lean into it.
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And it definitely isn't the end of the world.
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We've all seen this with Shira Seven.
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She has plenty of people who hate her,
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call her a narcissist, a gold digger,
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and many other colorful terms.
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And what does she do?
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She stays true to what she preaches and she leans into it.
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And even published books called I Bring Nothing to the Table and How to Avoid Dust.
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This is genuinely what she believes and what she preaches.
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It's not necessarily hurting anyone, it's just controversial.
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When people started clipping her on TikTok,
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she received her fair share of heat,
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but her channel is growing and I'm sure her success and her money is growing as well.
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And so let's tie all of this back to you and how to turn hate into power.
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Because here's the truth, hate is inevitable when you're not really doing anything wrong and especially when you're doing something right.
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But instead of fearing it,
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you can recognize it for what it is.
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Proof that you're visible, you're memorable,
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and you're making some sort of impact.
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I'm not saying that you should go out of your way to attract hate,
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but what I am saying is that if you come across someone who you would categorize as a hater,
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I hope that this episode can provide a different perspective.
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A lot of people abandon their goals or their dreams the second someone makes a comment,
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but the way I see it,
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the moment people start quote-unquote hating,
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it should be a sign that you're heading in the right direction.
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And so if anything, whatever it is that you're doing, keep going.
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The only way for no one to even notice you,
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let alone talk about you or hate you,
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is if you're doing nothing and you have nothing going on in life.
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And so the power lies in how you choose to respond.
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This is one thing that Trisha Paytas has said that I find so incredibly valuable.
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She said that nobody can cancel you if you cancel yourself first.
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And my takeaway from that is that you cannot control hate,
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but you can control whether or not you let it cancel you,
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your goals, and your dreams.
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And not only this, you can use it to your advantage.
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And so with all of that said,
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I hope that this answers that question on how to deal with haters.
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Haters are inevitable, especially if you plan on doing anything meaningful with your life.
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You can't avoid the hate,
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but you can leverage it,
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which I hope that you do.
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That's it for today.
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Thank you for tuning in.
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Be sure to check out the Aker newsletter for episode recap to join in on the conversation
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and to help decide on what to explore next.
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I hope to see you in our next episode and in the meantime,
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as always, stay hot.
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Bye!
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Trong video này, người diễn giả chia sẻ kinh nghiệm và hiểu biết về cách đối phó với những người ghét mình. Theo cách nhìn của cô, những người này không hoàn toàn tiêu cực mà thực sự có thể là những người ủng hộ bí mật. Cô đã đưa ra những ví dụ thực tế về những cá nhân, đặc biệt là phụ nữ, đã trưởng thành và phát triển mạnh mẽ từ những chỉ trích và sự chỉ trích công khai. Điều này mở ra một góc nhìn mới về sức mạnh của sự tiêu cực và cách chúng ta có thể tận dụng nó để tăng cường ảnh hưởng và sự công nhận của bản thân.
5 Cụm Từ Hàng Ngày Hữu Ích
- “Dealing with haters”: Đối phó với những kẻ ghét bỏ.
- “Leveraging them to your advantage”: Tận dụng họ để có lợi cho bạn.
- “Strong emotion, strong attention”: Cảm xúc mạnh, sự chú ý mạnh mẽ.
- “Negativity bias”: Thiên lệch tiêu cực.
- “Collective outrage”: Sự phẫn nộ tập thể.
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