쉐도잉 연습: I sometimes wish I didn't think so much - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

I sometimes wish I didn't think so much like life would be better

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I sometimes wish I didn't think so much like life would be better

if I just never asked so many questions

if I wasn't trying to observe or trying to make sense of things

and I just kind of lived you know maybe ignorance really is bliss

but I don't know there was like this switch in my life

when I was about 14 years old where things just weren't okay with me anymore.

I didn't want to do the same things.

I started thinking more deeply.

I started questioning life and I don't even know why I did that.

What was the point?

What came up for me that was like,

yeah, now I want to start doing this because it's not even like something that you can control,

not something that you can just forget about.

It's like, I guess it just happens.

And you realize certain things.

And you can't get over it.

So then you turn into this different person.

Now, you know, I'm 18, four years later.

And I don't know where it's gotten me.

Genuinely has thinking more has trying to figure out life

and all these things has it benefit me like genuinely

or has there been intangible benefit or is it just maybe personal growth or just maturing?

I don't know but I wonder at the end of the day what's the point?

Maybe it is better to think to try to make sense of life to be more critical

but also I look at other people sometimes and I think I imagine

that That person probably doesn't think about anything that much.

And they're 10 times happier than me.

So what is it?

Is that the secret to not think at all?

Or is it the secret to just,

you know, find this balance?

Or maybe there is no secret.

It's just kind of who you are.

And you just got to deal with it.

I think I've gotten better over the years.

I don't think so pessimistically now.

I used to think very pessimistically and have this sort of cynical life outlook.

But now I'm, I'm more at peace with certain things.

And I'm less concerned with figuring out the whole world.

And I'm more just concerned with figuring out myself.

I mean, that is a big undertaking in itself.

Understanding yourself.

And it's so weird, right?

You would think that because you are you,

you would understand yourself, you would know so much,

you be an expert at it but it's like I'm in the dark

and I guess that's just what it is it takes your whole life to figure out who you are

and even by the end of your life you still don't know for sure

so it's just this journey this journey of figuring all these things out

and I guess I've come to this sort of acceptance this acceptance

that there's so much that I don't know and I will never know

that it's not pointless to think about

but it's pointless to worry about it's pointless to wrestle with

so much that you are damaging your own enjoyment in life or you're just your livelihood.

So I guess what I've learned is just to continue to think

because me just I guess I've found that who I am is just someone who likes to think a lot

but direct it towards something that will do you some good or that will leave you with maybe some lesson because

thinking in a negative way,

it's of no benefit, genuinely.

And if you are, I guess,

in some sense, mature enough,

you'll realize that this life is so short,

so minute, so just small,

that it is not worth wasting time or spending time thinking things that hurt you,

that make you feel anxious or worried or sad or things like that.

And these things will come and go no matter what.

So if you will, no matter what,

at some point in your life,

throughout different phases, you will feel anxious,

you will feel sad, you will feel worried,

then why just like why purposely do it why purposely think these things

because it doesn't help you and that's what I've learned

so more and more what I'm trying to do is I don't know have this sort of metacognition

and realize well what am I thinking about why am I thinking about this is this even relevant

because we always focus on our actions right what we are physically doing

to help ourselves is what we are doing relevant

but is what you're thinking relevant are your thoughts productive

and it's not like what you what you're thinking has to be always about work

or like the next project that you're working on

but like are your thoughts just benefiting your your being your soul

and that is just something I've tried to focus on more

and more because you get into these loops in your mind where you can get anxious

or you start thinking about the past you get nostalgic

or sad or you reminisce and or maybe you just like have arguments in your head and then Then I think,

wait, why am I even doing this?

It's like, I'm just trying to fill up this empty space with some noise,

but it doesn't matter and it's not helping me

and it's not doing me any good and I'm just going to forget it.

So why don't I think about something that I care about or something that,

you know, will benefit me or just make me feel a little bit better about my life?

there is value in the way you think

and the way you think greatly determines you know just how you will feel

and I think people know that but we underestimate you know just the passing thoughts

that we have every day that we just ultimately forget but

it's like the habit of thought is something to pay attention to

so i guess that's what i'll leave you with just realize

what loops do you get into what habits of thought do you find yourself in

and just observe it stop yourself observe it you don't have to say whether it's good

or bad or not that's your decision to make but just think about it it's weird thinking about your thinking but

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it's like go from that third person view in your head

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and just ask yourself why am i thinking this is this relevant does this help me

102

or am i just fueling something that will ultimately lead me nowhere

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쉐도잉 연습: I sometimes wish I didn't think so much - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

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