쉐도잉 연습: Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love (How To Learn To Love Yourself) | Adam Roa | TEDxKlagenfurt - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

쉐도잉 컨트롤

0% 완료 (0/196 문장)

Transcriber: Emilia Soso Reviewer: eric vautier You are who you've been looking for, so stop looking for more unless you’re looking in the mirror, because it’s about time for you to see clearly that you are who you’ve been looking for.

⏸ 일시 정지

재생 속도:

반복 횟수:

대기 모드:

자막 동기:0ms

모든 문장

196 문장

And that empty feeling you got, that hole in your chest, you only got that feeling because you think you’re not blessed with everything you need.

You see, we live in a consumerist society, which means they need you to buy stuff.

And the easiest way to sell it is to tell you, “You’re not enough”.

“Buy this car, you’ll get girls”. “Buy this bra, you’ll get guys”.

And we're seeing it so much that we start believing these lies.

But the truth is: the makeup they’re selling to make you feel prettier is the same makeup you buy to stop feeling shittier about this lie they keep telling you that “you are not enough”.

And what about the movies we watch or the shows on TV?

The more I watch, the more I see “I need you to complete me”.

And yes, love is the answer, love is the key.

But if you can’t love yourself, how can you ever love me?

And “loving yourself”, what does that even mean?

Messages and selfies, and that sort of thing?

Because the more I think about it, the more it feels weird.

I’ve always thought self-love was something to be feared.

I’ve been taught that arrogance is bad, and vanity is not good.

And even my bracelets are telling me to act how Jesus would.

So, what should I do? How should I act?

I'm supposed to love myself, but how do I even do that?

Well, I got a trick that I picked up from a friend that noticed that I was quick to defend her when she’d say something negative about herself.

She’d say, “I’m so dumb”, and I’d say, “You’re so brilliant”.

She’d say, “I’m so weak”, and I’d say, “You’re so resilient”.

And when she said, “I feel ugly” and I said, “You look beautiful”, she asked me why I was so dutifully filling up her cup constantly and yet treating my own cup so irresponsibly.

Because when I looked in the mirror, my voice was quite clear.

You’re ugly, too thin, your hairline is receding, and you got a pimple on your chin.

And that was when she gave me a piece of advice that changed my life.

She gave me a hug, and she said, “Treat yourself like someone you love”.

Treat yourself like someone you love.

Now, I had been standing, but I needed to be sitting because I couldn’t believe that I’d been letting myself keep forgetting that I was who I’d been looking for.

And deep in my core, I knew it was time to stop looking for more until I could look through all my fear and look into a mirror and see clearly that the man looking back at me is the only one who can make me happy, and I am already enough.

And I’m not any more special or unique than you.

That’s why I’m here to speak to you.

You are already enough.

And when you start to see that, you will start to be that.

Your world will get brighter; your load will get lighter.

And you can see that with life you can be a lover, not a fighter.

And that life, you deserve it, because you are worth it.

And there’s no point in letting yourself keep forgetting because no matter what you say or do, you are perfect.

And so today, I hope I leave you with a direction correction away from the flaws you see in your reflection.

They aren't flaws to me.

They are simply protection against all the doubts you have of your perfection.

So, start today.

Take a good, long look in the mirror and say, “I am who I’ve been looking for”.

(Applause) Thank you.

(Applause) That poem is one of the most viral in history.

It has been viewed over 250 million times.

When it was first posted in 2018, it spread like wildfire, and overnight, I saw an explosion in my social media following, I got invitations to speak all around the world, and I dropped into a deep suicidal depression.

I was in Bali when it happened because that’s where you go when you’re a hippie and you’re healing from a breakup.

Tropical weather, great food, beautiful sunsets.

And one morning I turn on my phone and I immediately notice that something’s different.

I have thousands upon thousands of new followers.

My poem hadn’t gone viral, it had gone mega viral.

It got 40 million views in the first 48 hours.

In fact, it would continue to get more than a million views a day for the next several months.

But with that came the messages.

Hundreds of DMs that flooded my inbox, most of them being messages of appreciation.

They said, “I loved the poem. Thank you”.

“I sent this to my mom, my brother, my girlfriend. Thank you”.

“This poem changed my life. Thank you”.

But for every nine of those, there was one that was very different.

One that would say something like, “I don’t know how to love myself. Can you help me?” “My husband hits me and I’m too scared to leave.

Can you help me?” “I’m thinking of killing myself tomorrow.

Can you help me?” And I couldn't.

I didn't have an answer.

I had a poem that was getting millions of views a day, but I didn’t know how to respond to people who needed something more than a poem.

And I felt like I was letting them down.

I felt like a fraud.

I felt so much shame and guilt that my body began to break down, until eventually I found myself one day locked away in a dark hotel room, feverish, shivering, covered in sweat, unable to open the curtains because any amount of light was excruciatingly painful to my eyes and my head.

And what I didn’t know at the time was that moment was the beginning of a long and painful journey.

A multi-year quest deep into depression so that I could find the answer that I didn't have.

How do we learn to love ourselves?

What does that actually look like?

Truthfully, I didn’t know where to start.

And I did believe that self-love was the answer.

I hadn’t faked the poem.

I just didn't know what it looked like in action.

Treat yourself like someone you love, but how?

For me, that looked like doing anything and everything that I thought would qualify as self-love.

If I didn't know what would work, I would just do it all.

Meditation, journaling, writing poetry, playing music, singing, dancing, shaking, cold plunges, saunas, taking baths, hiring coaches, doing all the therapies: CBT, IFS, TRE, NLP, EMDR.

You just say the letters, I did it.

Detoxes, juice cleanses, water fasts.

Psychic readings, astrology readings, tarot readings.

Plant medicine journeys deep in the Amazon jungle, punching pillows, primal screaming, and naked mirror work.

Yes, I stood naked in front of a mirror, and I said “I love you” over and over because that’s what you do when you’re desperate and a hippie.

And the thing was, at the time, I was watching a lot of content about self-love.

But the thing was, so much of that content spoke about self-love like it was a switch.

In On or in Off, you either have it or you don’t.

And because I believed that I kept doing all of these things, seeking that moment when my self-love would click on.

But it never did.

Every day I kept spending hours showing up for myself, expecting a big shift that never came.

Instead, I saw a little one.

And then another.

And I started to realize that the reason why I had felt so lost was because I didn’t understand the essence of self-love.

It's not a switch, it's a result.

It is the result of how we show up for ourselves each and every day.

Self-love is the byproduct of your relationship with yourself.

And it is a relationship that needs all the same things as any other, but because it’s inner, we often don’t know where to start.

100

So, I started to use a framework developed by Dr Gary Chapman called “The Five Love Languages”.

101

In it, they give you five categories that you can focus on if you want to deepen the connection you feel in a relationship.

102

Acts of service, quality time, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation.

103

Now these are normally used in context of your relationship to others, but they can be used with ourselves.

104

Let's take quality time as an example.

105

How much connection is actually happening when two people are sitting together, but they’re both separately on their phones?

106

And yet, how often do we do that exact same thing by ourselves?

107

We're just ignoring that inner voice in favor of mindlessly scrolling, because we’ve confused the idea of being alone with spending quality time with ourselves.

108

And how about words of affirmation?

109

How would you feel if someone was constantly telling you were dumb, that you were not good enough, that you were never going to succeed?

110

And yet, how often do we say those exact words to ourselves?

111

Sometimes on a daily basis.

112

The good news is that we can change that through a combination of our attention and our intention.

113

With the five love languages used as a direction, we can point our attention there, and when we do that, we will start to catch those little moments when we’re not so loving to ourselves.

114

And when you combine that new awareness with the intention to love yourself more deeply, you will start to unlock new choices that you previously couldn’t see.

115

Ways that you can actually strengthen that relationship to yourself and love yourself more deeply.

116

And when you start to make those new choices, you will unlock the next clues that the universe is leaving you on how to achieve your intention.

117

Yes, even if we don’t like it, the universe is always giving us our next step.

118

Sometimes that next step can be very, very scary, like leaving a toxic relationship, quitting our job, or starting therapy.

119

But often it’s a really small next step, but equally important, like writing a poem, or finally watching that TED talk on self-love your friend sent you.

120

For me, it was all of the above and a mirror.

121

So, for all the people that wrote me asking for an answer so many years ago, I’m really sorry that I didn’t have it back then.

122

But I want to say thank you for helping me find it so that I could give it to all the people who need it today.

123

And if you are one of those people, I want you to know that it is possible.

124

It is 100% possible for you to get out of the darkness, and even if it takes years, it is so worth it.

125

I know because I did it.

126

Day by day, the voices in my head got a little less mean.

127

I still get sad sometimes, but I show up completely differently for myself when I do, because I’ve started to relate completely differently to my own emotions.

128

I relate differently to other people.

129

And I relate differently to life itself.

130

I learned how to love myself.

131

And just like the poem said would happen, my world got brighter and my load got lighter.

132

And that is something worth writing poetry about.

133

And so, I’d like to close today with one more poem.

134

It’s a poem that I call Heaven.

135

Can I have everyone take a nice deep inhale?

136

And exhale.

137

The most impactful thing you can do for the world is learn how to love life.

138

All of life.

139

Show people that being happy doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to the pain and the sadness and the suffering that happens here.

140

Show them that choosing love doesn't mean ignoring fear.

141

It just means being willing to feel.

142

And those brave souls will always heal as long as they maintain the courage to feel.

143

Because the fear of feeling is really at the root of every fear, which creates the fear of living because feeling is why we’re here.

144

So, you can fight the fact that feelings past have felt so freaking hard, but it’s the very fact you have felt all that that feels like the part we should celebrate, investigate, learn to navigate with ease.

145

Your emotions are the gift God gives you every time you breathe.

146

Energy in motion with the strength to bring a king down to his knees and yet contained within the emotion is the key to set you free.

147

Yes, contained within the emotion is the gift of what being human is, a chance to feel all of life, from deep sorrow to deep bliss.

148

And you might wish the two would split, but the twist is that they’ll always coexist.

149

Because even the heartbreak you hate today had the way paved by a lover’s kiss.

150

So, you can write your list of how life’s a bitch, but don’t forget the asterisk.

151

Because for all the times you went through shit, it fertilized a lot of gifts.

152

But when you only focus on what you lack, you can't appreciate what you've got.

153

But with gratitude for what you have, you can see that it's a lot.

154

And that is the difference between abundance and scarcity.

155

It's not about what you have, it's about what you see.

156

So, the next time you forget how blessed you be, take a moment and focus on the next breath you breathe.

157

The next time you forget how blessed you be, take a moment and focus on the next breath you breathe.

158

And notice, you’re right here with me.

159

A miracle, a great mystery.

160

Out of hundreds of trillions of stars and hundreds of billions of galaxies, somehow, some way, you’re here today with me, and we all breathe on a spinning sphere of chemicals, spiraling through the universe.

161

You were once one of 200 million sperm; you just happened to get there first.

162

So, how could you ever say you’re cursed?

163

You’ve been blessed since before your birth.

164

And you might not think you have it best, but it could definitely be worse.

165

And if you don't believe that yet, go tell the deaf what you just heard.

166

If you don’t like what you see, go tell the blind how much it hurts.

167

On your hardest day, when you really want to walk away, go tell the paraplegic how it’s unfair.

168

Share how you want to run from all your problems, while he's pushed everywhere in a chair.

169

And I’m not saying that life is fair or that it’s easy.

170

We all go through a lot.

171

But as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, don't lose gratitude for the fact that you walk.

172

Celebrate the fact that you can dance and sing.

173

Embrace the abundance in the very act when you talk.

174

Because when you can spot abundance in the simplest things, that’s when more abundance unlocks.

175

The simplest things.

176

Taste and touch and breath and smell.

177

Did you know there are people with something called anosmia, which means their sense of smell is completely lost?

178

So, while they literally can’t smell the roses, do you want to complain you don’t have the time to stop?

179

Because this life is the only one that you’ve got.

180

And there are people who would trade places with you without a second thought.

181

So, no matter how many tears, heartbreaks or bad days you pay, the cemetery is full of souls that know living is worth the cost.

182

Don't wait till it's too late to learn that lesson.

183

Living is worth the cost.

184

But make no mistake, being alive is not the same thing as living.

185

Just like throwing something away is not the same thing as giving.

186

So, if you haven’t yet found your love of life, I suggest you keep on digging.

187

And allow yourself to feel your way through all the hurt and all the rage.

188

And as you feel, allow yourself to finally turn the page.

189

That’s how we heal.

190

And it might hurt like hell, but you’ll have shown us we’ll be okay to feel it all and still love life.

191

That’s heaven.

192

And you’ll have helped pave the way.

193

That's heaven.

194

Can you feel it?

195

Heaven is here today.

196

(Applause)

YouTube

App Store 및 Google Play에서 4.9/5

Shadowing English
모바일에서

Shadowing English 앱으로 언제 어디서나 영어를 배우세요. 오늘 의사 소통 능력을 향상 시키십시오!

학습 진행 상황 추적

AI 채점 및 오류 수정

풍부한 비디오 라이브러리

스캔하여 다운로드

Download on theApp Store

GET IT ONGoogle Play

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

☕ 커피 한 잔 사주기

ShadowingEnglish는 여러분의 지원 덕분에 100% 무료로 운영됩니다. 서버 및 AI 유지 비용이 많이 듭니다. 여러분의 커피 한 잔이 큰 힘이 됩니다! ��

PayPal로 기부하기

ShadowingEnglish.com – 영어 쉐도잉 연습

쉐도잉(Shadowing)으로 원어민처럼 영어를 말하세요. YouTube 영상을 한 문장씩 듣고 따라 말하며, 진짜 발음과 유창성을 키우세요. IELTS 학습자들이 선택한 방법.

쉐도잉 연습: Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love (How To Learn To Love Yourself) | Adam Roa | TEDxKlagenfurt - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

Shadowing English
모바일에서

이 수업에 대해

주요 어휘 및 구문

연습 팁

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉 연습: Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love (How To Learn To Love Yourself) | Adam Roa | TEDxKlagenfurt - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기

Shadowing English 모바일에서

이 수업에 대해

주요 어휘 및 구문

연습 팁

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

Shadowing English
모바일에서