쉐도잉 연습: WATCH THIS EVERY DAY - Motivational Speech By Mel Robbins [YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS] - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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My mind can be my worst enemy.
189 문장
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My mind can be my worst enemy.
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I was laying in bed last night,
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and I had fallen asleep,
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and I kept waking up.
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And you know what I was thinking about?
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I was waking up because I could hear people in the hallway,
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kind of coming in from a late night of partying.
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And you know what the first thing that my mind defaulted to?
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There being a fire in the hotel.
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And I started having these visions of my daughter and I going down the stairwell and getting trapped.
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And then I had visions of us being on the balcony on this room and fire kind of engulfing.
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And what are we doing?
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Are we tying a rope?
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I mean, it's just insanity, absolute insanity.
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And I use the techniques that I teach you.
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I went five, four, three, two, one.
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I am not thinking about this.
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And the thought disappeared because I constantly reset my mindset.
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And, you know, one of the reasons why I'm telling you this is if you are tired of feeling negative,
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if you feel often that your own thoughts are the things that trip you up in life,
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that you wish that your mind were more positive,
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I'm telling you that I'm the same way.
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Just because I teach this stuff,
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just because I study this,
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just because I do what I do for a living doesn't make me immune to what it means to be human.
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And what it means to be human is that your brain and your body want you to survive.
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Your brain and your body remember situations that scare the daylights out of you.
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Your brain and your body try to talk you out of anything that makes you feel risky.
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And your brain, given that it has been trained by situations in the past
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and given that you allow it to worry all the time,
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you have a habit of doing it.
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If you're not careful and you're not deliberate,
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your brain will default to scary crap like mine was last night.
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That doesn't mean you're broken.
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It means that your brain is thinking something that's broken
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and it's time for you to reset your mindset and pull it back.
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If you're somebody that suffers from anxiety,
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first of all, here's what you need to know.
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It's not a disease.
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Period.
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It's not a disease.
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So here's what you need to understand.
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Anxiety always begins with a worry.
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Always.
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It begins with a thought that is triggered by something.
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So if you suffer from anxiety,
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you wake up in the morning and your mind spins,
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you lay in bed at night and your mind spins,
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you walk into work and you feel anxious in your body.
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I want you to write down all the things that trigger you to feel anxious.
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Interestingly, another major trigger is being home or going home and that moment right before your partner walks in the door.
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If you feel anxious when your partner's about to walk in or you're about to walk into your own home,
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that is a major signal that you're in the wrong relationship.
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That there is something incredibly off and you either need to get into counseling,
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but that is one that we hear a lot about because you're walking into a situation that feels uncertain.
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A lot of people, by the way,
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had parents that were abusive or parents that were yellers.
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So they also are experiencing ghosts from the childhood of it's five o'clock,
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dad's about to come home and pour drink and everybody's on edge.
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Yeah.
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So write down the triggers, okay?
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Because having kind of the triggers ahead of time will help
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you come up with a plan for how you're going to catch yourself
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when your mind defaults to the automatic ways that it thinks.
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Then what I want you to write down next to the trigger is what exactly are you worried about?
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So having the trigger and then the what do I worry about?
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I worry that my boss is going to yell.
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I worry that my partner's going to yell.
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I worry that I'm going to get in trouble.
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I worry that, you know,
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my friends are going to laugh at me.
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I worry that I'm going to be a whatever it may be.
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Then what you're going to do is you're going to write down what I call an anchor thought.
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An anchor thought is something that weighs you down and it makes you excited.
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And so here's how the strategy works with the five second rule.
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The next time you're in a situation,
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and let's just use the example of pulling into your own driveway or your own apartment,
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and maybe you've got issues with your boyfriend or girlfriend or your roommate and that makes you unsettled.
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The second you pull in and you feel the trigger,
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you're going to go five,
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four, three, two, one, because I want to interrupt your mind from going into,
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kind of like, what if I did this?
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Then you're going to drop in the anchor thought of the last time that you and your roommate really got along well,
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or the last time that you stood up for yourself and it went fine.
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Or your puppy.
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Yeah, or a puppy or whatever.
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You're going to say, I'm so excited to deal with this.
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Yeah.
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And then you're going to get out of your car,
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even though your body is going to feel a little unsettled and your mind's going to raise.
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Go five, four, three, two, one.
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If you start to like be like, but what?
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And then walk in the door.
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And what I'm teaching you to do is to not let your mind hijack you.
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And it's very important because there's a very tight nexus between your habit of worrying
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and spiraling your thoughts and the way your body starts to amp up.
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And so we want to settle your mind so we don't agitate your body.
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You got it?
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Yeah.
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And so if you start to practice that over and over and over and over and over and over and over again,
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and for you 18-year-olds that are watching this,
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use this with the nerves that you have about what you're going to do with your life.
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Use this when you catch yourself worrying about college applications because worrying about the applications won't get them done.
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Worrying about what your friends are doing won't make it happen.
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Worrying about what you're gonna be doing when you're 25 or how you're gonna make money,
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it's not gonna help you make money right now.
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It's only gonna make you miserable.
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So five, four, three, two,
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one, cut off that habit.
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That'll stabilize your body and then go to a vision of you at the age of 25,
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driving a car that you think is cool and hanging out with a friend that's cool and saying to yourself,
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I'm so excited because I know I'm gonna figure it out.
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because you don't need to worry about that right now.
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But it becomes a habit that destroys your year this year.
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Just because you identify, and for me as a kid,
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for whatever reason, I have my own version of feeling invisible and feeling like I'm not good enough.
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And so my way of coping both with my anxiety and being a survivor of sexual abuse and wanting love,
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which we all need, is I was like an overachiever.
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And so I'm the kind of person that's super busy and a go-getter because it got me attention.
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And if I was the one that was super busy and achieving,
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I not only got praise,
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but it also insulates you from other people not picking you because you're the one in a leadership role doing the picking.
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And so there's a part of me at the age of 51 that is realizing that,
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you know, these feelings of feeling unworthy and this hyper drive to try to achieve shit,
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it's all coming from a place of feeling inadequate or like what I'm doing is not enough.
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And so that's- Still, at 50,
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having a talk show, having a best-selling book,
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having the Audible originals, having the platform everywhere,
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having the impact is still don't feel,
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being the most booked female speaker in the world,
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Like you still don't feel stupid.
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It's annoying.
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And human beings are annoying.
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We are stuck with this wiring.
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Like if you think about it,
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like all of the crap you believe is probably a hangover from age zero to 10.
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that as adults, we walk around thinking the same stuff we thought as kids.
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And I can't stand that I feel that way.
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But knowing it, it allows me to catch it before it has me,
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before it stops me from having an event or writing that next book or taking a risk.
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There's a lot of you that are running from things instead of running to things.
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And that's a huge difference,
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running from something versus running to something.
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And so I want you to think about that for a minute
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because you don't have to move across country to change your life.
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And you don't have to do something drastic to experience drastic positive change.
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And here's the thing about running away from your problems,
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running away from your past.
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Have you ever noticed that when you run away,
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it tends to follow you?
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You know, I used to have this problem in relationships.
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And the reason why I had this problem is because I was a very unhappy person.
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I didn't like myself truly as a person until probably four or five years ago.
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I spent, as sad as this is,
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I spent the first 46 years of my life really not liking myself,
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really feeling like I wasn't a good person,
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really questioning the sanity of people that that were in love with me
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or that were friends of mine because I had such a low opinion of myself.
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And it didn't matter.
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You know, I was guilty not of moving from one city to another,
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but I was guilty of moving from one person to another.
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That I would literally get in a relationship,
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I would be in a relationship for a year,
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and then I would start to feel that unsettled feeling.
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Because what happens after a year of being in a relationship?
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Well, you got to start working on it.
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It's no longer the thrill and the delight and it's new and you're dating.
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Now it's just you and the person in your life.
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There's nothing new about it.
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And so all your old crap starts to show up.
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And that's when you got to start to do the work.
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And so it was about the year or the year
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and a half mark in almost every single relationship that I would start getting that itchy feeling.
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And the reason why I was getting that itchy feeling is because my past was now there.
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This new relationship was no longer new and
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so I was no longer distracted by it
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and I was going to have to Deal with myself in order to be happy
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And so what did I do for years not even just years decades everybody?
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I'm not I'm not proud to admit this
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But I would literally jump out of one relationship
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and into another new one Because another new one would distract me from the fact that I was an unhappy person
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True story
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And I think a lot of you who are unhappy with yourselves are looking to move jobs
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or looking to move the city that you live in or you're looking to change your relationship.
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And the problem isn't where you live.
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The problem isn't your job.
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The problem isn't the person that you're with.
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The problem is how you feel about yourself.
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Thank you.
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