Shadowing Practice: 11 Reasons Why You Don’t Like Being Around People - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Brainy Dose Presents: 11 Reasons Why You Don’t Like Being Around People Do you prefer being alone most of the time and find yourself happier when you’re not around people?
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If so, you’re definitely not alone.
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But have you ever thought about why you feel this way?
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There can actually be a number of reasons for avoiding social situations, some of which might surprise you.
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Let’s start with the most obvious.
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Number 1 - Introversion Have you been told, perhaps more times than you can count, that you should come out of your shell and be more social?
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Then, you’re likely an introvert.
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Introversion is not a disease or disorder; it is a personality trait that describes those who are less outgoing.
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Introverts are often thought of as shy due to their quiet and reserved nature, but that’s not always the case.
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Introversion is more about how you prefer to interact with others and how you recharge your energy levels.
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Unlike extroverts, who need to be around other people in order to recharge, introverts become drained by being around others.
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They do enjoy having meaningful conversations with close friends and family members, but they find it difficult to engage with large social groups.
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This is why it’s so important for introverts to take breaks from socializing; they need space to recharge their batteries.
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Number 2 - Sensory Processing Sensitivity People with sensory processing sensitivity experience strong reactions to external stimuli, which can make it difficult to function in social settings.
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It’s often associated with autism or ADHD.
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If you’re a highly sensitive person, you might have trouble being around other people because it’s hard for you to focus on conversations when there’s so much going on around you.
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You’re bothered by loud noises and bright lights and easily get distracted by things like the sight of too many colors, strong smells, or the sound of a person chewing.
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You may feel like you need more time to process information, and you might find yourself getting upset about things that others don't seem to notice.
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Sensory processing sensitivity is a real thing, and it's not something that you can just turn off.
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Number 3 - Above-Average Intelligence If you have above-average intelligence, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re not a people person.
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You’re a thinker and a doer.
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While everyone else is distracted by their phones or the latest episode of that new hit series, you’re busy thinking, analyzing, and getting things done.
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You don’t like small talk because it feels, well… like small talk.
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You want to talk about big ideas, solve problems together, and achieve mutual understanding.
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You want meaningful conversations with those who share your intellectual curiosity and passion for learning and discovery.
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To put it bluntly, you don’t like being around people because you find most of them boring.
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The things they talk about, the things they do; it’s all so dull.
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Number 4 - Mental Health Challenges Certain mental health conditions can make it hard to even imagine being around people.
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Depression can cause you to feel tired, sad, or irritable.
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It can also make it hard to get motivated and enjoy life.
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Social anxiety disorder makes it very challenging to interact with people.
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You might feel shy, scared of being judged, or embarrassed when around others.
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Similarly, avoidant personality disorder makes it hard to connect with others and form intimate relationships - because you feel inadequate or inferior.
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All of these can lead to avoidance of social situations altogether.
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Number 5 - Asperger’s Syndrome Asperger’s syndrome is a developmental disorder.
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It’s a form of autism that affects the way one relates to others.
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If you have Asperger’s syndrome, you probably don’t want to be around people.
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And that’s because it can be hard for you to interact with others or understand what they are feeling.
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You might not be good at making eye contact or understanding social cues, and that can make you feel awkward.
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Also, people may do things that annoy you or make you uncomfortable, like talking too loudly.
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As a result, you come across as aloof or detached, making it difficult to make friends and maintain relationships.
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Number 6 - Low Self-Esteem One of the main reasons people dislike being around others is that they don’t feel like they measure up.
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They don’t feel good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough.
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They’re worried about what others will think of them and that they’ll be judged for their shortcomings.
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But if you’re not comfortable in your own skin, then it’s hard to feel confident around other people.
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It’s also possible that you feel this way because of how others treat you.
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If someone treats you poorly, it can make you feel bad about yourself and your own worth.
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This can even hold back your career and make it hard for you to go after your goals in life.
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If this sounds like you, it might be time for some therapy or counseling.
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It can help you feel better about yourself so that you can start making friends and building relationships.
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Number 7 - Lack of Social Skills This is another possible reason why you might not like to be around people.
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If you have zero social skills, you probably aren’t able to make friends or keep them.
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You also have a hard time relating to others and may not be able to communicate effectively.
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When you do try to make conversation, your attempts are awkward and forced or worse, they come across as rude or insensitive.
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There can be several reasons for this.
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Maybe you grew up in a home where the adults argued all the time or maybe it was the opposite, they hardly ever talked and because of this, you never learned how to initiate conversations or express your emotions.
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The good news is that social skills can be learned just like any other skill, it just takes some patience and practice!
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Number 8 - Stress-Induced Social Avoidance Stress can be defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
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It can be physical or psychological, and the effects can be short-term or long-term.
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When you feel like your life is too busy and hectic, it’s normal to want to retreat from other people even from those you love.
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And while there are times when it’s okay to do that, like when you need some alone time after a long day, it can also become a habit.
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As a matter of fact, social avoidance can lead to further problems down the road.
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If you don’t practice interacting with others, your relationships will suffer and you’ll end up feeling lonely more often than not.
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So while social avoidance may seem like an easy fix at the moment, make sure that you work on encouraging yourself to get out of these situations before they get worse.
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Number 9 - Traumatic Experiences If you’ve been through a traumatic experience, then it’s likely that you are going to have some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder.
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This can make you feel isolated and it can be challenging to be around others.
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You’ve had a bad experience and don’t want to relive it.
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Maybe you were ignored when you were younger, or you were made fun of because of your weight, a disability, or something else.
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Perhaps someone hurt you or left you when they promised never to do so.
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Whatever the case, know that there are ways to move on.
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A therapist can help you process your feelings and work through them in a safe space.
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Number 10 - Fear of Intimacy Intimacy requires being vulnerable, and that can be scary for some.
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It can be incredibly hard to open up and let people in.
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Maybe you’re afraid of being vulnerable with someone because they might see who you really are and you’re worried that they will reject you for it.
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Or maybe it’s because deep down inside, you feel like you don’t deserve love and affection.
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It’s okay to be scared of things that are unfamiliar, and it’s normal to want to protect yourself from getting hurt.
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But when your fear of intimacy is so intense that you avoid all social situations, it can start to hold you back from things like making friends and going on dates.
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Being around other people does not mean you have to tell them everything about yourself.
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You can still enjoy their company without revealing anything too personal.
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Number 11 - Trust Issues It’s hard to be around people when you don’t trust them.
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You might think they will hurt you, use your vulnerability against you, or take advantage of you somehow.
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If you have trust issues, it’s likely because of a past experience where someone let you down or betrayed your trust.
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Maybe they lied to you or didn’t treat your feelings with respect.
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Whatever happened, it left a mark on who you are today.
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But, that doesn’t mean you should give up on trusting people entirely… If you’ve been burned before by someone who took advantage of your kindness, don’t let that stop you from trying again!
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Just because they hurt you, doesn’t mean that others will, too.
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If you enjoyed this video, give it a thumbs-up, and share it with your friends, so we can keep making them.
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For more videos like this, hit the subscribe button, and remember to click on the notification bell.
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Also, be sure to check out our other videos as well.
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Thanks for watching!
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze video bevat 90 zinnen en 1576 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 9:06. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 173 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 87% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 minder gangbare woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
- disorder /dɪsˈɔɹdɚ/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — stoornis. Absence of order; state of not being arranged in an orderly manner.
- skill /skɪl/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — bekwaamheid, vaardigheid. A capacity to do something well; a technique, an ability, usually acquired or learned, as opposed to abilities that are regarded as innate.
- interact /ɪn.təˈɹækt/ (werkwoord) — interageren, elkaar beïnvloeden. To engage in communication and other shared activities (with someone).
- avoidance /əˈvɔɪdəns/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — vermijden. The act of avoiding or shunning; keeping clear of.
- syndrome /ˈsɪndɹoʊm/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — syndroom. A recognizable pattern of signs, symptoms and/or behaviours, especially of a disease or medical or psychological condition.
- distress /dɪˈstɹɛs/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — druk, stress. Physical or emotional discomfort, suffering, or alarm, particularly of a more acute nature.
- sensitivity /ˌsɛn.səˈtɪv.ə.ti/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — gevoeligheid. The quality or state of being sensitive; sensitiveness.
- traumatic /tɹɔˈmætɪk/ (bijvoeglijk naamwoord) — traumatisch. Of, caused by, or causing trauma.
- intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — intimiteit. Feeling or atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else, often but not necessarily involving sexuality.
- awkward /ˈɔk.wɚd/ (bijvoeglijk naamwoord) — onhandig. Lacking dexterity in the use of the hands, or of instruments.
- relate /ɹɪˈleɪt/ (werkwoord) — vertellen. To tell in a descriptive way.
- vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/ (bijvoeglijk naamwoord) — kwetsbaar. More or most likely to be exposed to the chance of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
- meaningful /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/ (bijvoeglijk naamwoord) — zinvol. Having meaning, significant.
- scare /skɛɚ/ (werkwoord) — bang maken, beangstigen. To frighten, terrify, startle, especially in a minor way.
- autism /ˈɔːtɪzəm/ (zelfstandig naamwoord) — autisme. Autism spectrum disorder, a condition characterized by impairment in social communication and interaction, as well as a need or strong preference for…
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
- come across (werkwoord) — overkomen. To change sides; to cross over to work for the opposition.
- go on /ˈɡoʊˌɒn/ (werkwoord) — verder gaan. To continue in extent.
- check out (werkwoord) — onderzoeken. To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.).
- end up (werkwoord) — belanden, terechtkomen. To bring to a conclusion.
- turn off (werkwoord) — uitzetten, uitschakelen. To power down, to switch off, to put out of operation, to deactivate (an appliance, light, mechanism, functionality etc.).
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 33 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, you're, you've. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, altogether /ɔl.tuˈɡɛð.ɚ/, thumb /ˈθʌm/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, thinker /ˈθɪŋ.kɚ/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: passion /ˈpæʃən/, shell /ʃɛl/, tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: sensitivity /ˌsɛn.səˈtɪv.ə.ti/, intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, intellectual /ˌɪntəˈlɛkt͡ʃʊəl/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als disorder, skill, interact.
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | been told · are often thought · is distracted |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have you ever thought · you've been · You've had |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | those who are · stimuli, which can · those who share |
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.