Shadowing Practice: DETACH & ATTRACT: The Courage To Be DISLIKED... - Learn English Speaking with Video
Les maken...
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freedom is your ability to be disliked.
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We think we want to be liked by everybody.
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And we then are, who do I have to be to be liked about, you know, from everybody?
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And then we'll change our frame of reality to make everybody else happy.
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But what if that's the wrong question to ask?
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What if you didn't, weren't attached to being liked at all?
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And then you could just be yourself.
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And the irony is that when you're just being yourself and you're not attached to whether people like you or not, what is your energy like?
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Magnetic, attractive.
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You're not attached to what other people think.
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You're not trying to get something from them.
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If you can accept that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea
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or you're not going to be everyone's flavor, that's okay.
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We don't have to take on the burden of trying to convert people over to understanding us, converting people over to seeing the value and the worth.
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There's a lot of power that comes when you realize and you just accept that you're not gonna be liked by everybody.
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The longer that I've been on YouTube, the more I've realized that on one hand, the longer I'm on YouTube, the more people I reach.
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There are more people that really love what I do and there are also people that hate what I do, that don't like what I do or that have their own perspective.
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And it's totally, it's like, it's a part of the game.
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But can you see how I would block myself if I was not willing to accept this over here, i'd be constantly tuning to a different frame
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or playing a different playing to a different beat in order to get something
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that i don't even want anyways
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and that's a big that's a big part of freedom
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when you realize
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that it's not something you need it's not something you want
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you just accept it it's like there's a new level of freedom
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that opens up yes hi
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and this is something i'm really grappling with in my relationships um being truly myself
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and yeah you know the courage to be disliked for personally my spirituality um
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and but then where does compromise come in
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because then i have a lot of people telling me like
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in relationships you have to compromise what do you feel like
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you need to compromise like what is what is the reflection for you like can you give a specific yeah
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so i'm dealing with a situation with someone i just ended
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a relationship with um basically my spirituality is very important to me yep
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and my um ex -partner wants traditional religion and doesn't want anything outside of those lines.
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And so he doesn't want to marry.
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Is your spirituality important to you?
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It's me.
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It's me.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Is it important to you to have in a partner, someone that also values something similar to you,
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whether they completely understand it or whether they're open to it or like, what is the, what is that clarity for you there?
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I want spiritual freedom to explore what I want to explore.
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I don't need my partner to believe what i believe right yeah
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so in that relationship did you feel like you could explore
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that or did you feel like you were being judged or was there being judged because if anything
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i look at spirituality is universal i'm not very much in
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the template of like religion i see everything is universal and
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so for me i want that freedom right to be able to do
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that yeah yeah so then people are like well
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if he's important to you then you need to compromise right so
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that well i guess it's getting clear with what dating does
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for us is it helps us become aware of where our edge is and what is important and what we value.
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So through the contrast of this relationship, you may have become aware how important your spiritual practice is to you.
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And you want somebody maybe that accepts the spiritual practice that you are into.
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And if it feels like you're not being accepted for that, or that's something that they're, because compromise works two ways,
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right but i i'm letting him do his thing i know yeah
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but that's what i'm saying is if that
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that it sounds like it's also the compromise isn't coming the other direction right
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so in a sense it's like
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so what you're supposed to compromise yourself at the level of
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of like like what is expected of you to compromise like
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how much more can you compromise yourself well he he basically said you know he he would like it
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if i kind of keep it to myself and don't
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if we had kids together He doesn't want that in his orbit, basically.
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And how do you feel about that?
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I don't feel good about it.
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That's why we're not together right now.
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Yeah, exactly.
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But I have my friends coming in saying, like, find a middle ground, find a middle way.
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With that guy?
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Yeah, yeah.
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So they're just, all of that is just external stuff.
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They're trying to, yeah.
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It's all external.
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Don't do it, don't do it.
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Okay.
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It's all.
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Okay.
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All right, come on, everyone.
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The class is getting a little loud.
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The clarity that you have within yourself, I think, is very clear.
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It's very clear, yeah.
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It is completely related to the frame technique as well, because it's almost like you're starting to doubt yourself.
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Like, oh, I need to be compromised.
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I also want to show him the light, but that's my control issue.
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That's my issue.
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Exactly.
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And then friends, this is a thing that happens a lot in relational dynamics, even with friends, is your friends many times will want you to be the version of you
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that you've always been around them right?
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So once you start to evolve to a new level, this doesn't have to be some spiritual hierarchy where it's like, you know, but in general, when you start to become more aware of certain patterns,
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the version of you that you used to be may not be the version that they're comfortable with.
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So what happens is now that you are seeing that pattern and breaking out of that pattern,
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it could be that you break out of that pattern and now they maybe had more access to you, maybe more control of you,
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maybe you were a certain way that confirmed their reality more, and maybe you also stayed in a limiting pattern that they could empathize with you on, right?
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Like, a lot of times, I mean, sometimes it can be friends that maybe aren't in happy relationships that are giving you all this advice, right?
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A lot of times that's what it is.
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But if someone's asking you to compromise yourself in that way, you want to look out what the source is, and you want to kind of in the beginning earlier when we were talking about,
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when someone was talking about the therapist saying something and what my gut was telling me, like that whole thing, it's like being able to tune to yourself to say,
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what do I feel about this?
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What is important to me?
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Because ultimately that's a pretty deep thing when it comes to dating someone else is what are your values around religion,
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around spirituality, around kids, around raising kids.
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It's pretty deep it's not like it's caught like what will
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compromise i mean there could be versions of compromise i guess
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but you seem very clear with what you want let's go
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right over here i have a gentleman with his hand up um could you go into the difference between controlling
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and manifesting yeah so just the general difference between controlling
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and manifesting yeah because sometimes it feels like manifesting requires a lot of control yeah
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which kind of defeats it energetically yeah it's kind of a paradox isn't it
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so on one hand we have
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so i guess the definition of control like what what do you what would you say how would you describe control
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yeah i'd say for uh forcing something um sometimes obsessing yeah
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over it as well right what you the outcome you want to
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and what the energy of want or the energy of obsessing over something, that kind of energy, it's almost like the belief is that
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if I obsess about something and I think about something and I want something, then I'm going to get this thing.
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Yeah.
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So isn't it funny that sometimes I think desire is something we use
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because there's almost a subconscious belief that if I want, I'm going to receive.
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Yeah.
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But is it true that if you want something, it then adds to the energy of you getting it?
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No. Yeah, very often not.
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It doesn't the more you vibrationally lack.
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It's a different energy.
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So the transformation that I found around manifestation in general
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and this balance of control is shifting more into a level of divine alignment.
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You focus on what is the energy you want to feel.
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You can focus on visualizing what you quote -unquote want, but it's more of an identity -level manifestation where you're putting the awareness inside of your body.
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And you're feeling it as if it's here now, not because when this thing gets here, then my reality is shift and then I can shift how I feel,
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but it literally feels good to visualize.
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So the way that I view manifestation is more along the lines of visualizing what you quote unquote want using the imagination.
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We'll talk about like alpha, the brainwaves and all of that as well, but using your consciousness to feel it as if it's already here now.
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And what happens is when you feel as if it's already here now,
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you're more likely to pick up on energy inside of your field that isn't equal to the energy you're admitting.
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So what a lot of people do though, is they're waiting for the external to shift to feel happy.
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They're waiting for the external to shift.
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And that's where the control happens.
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The belief is if I control, then the external will shift, then I can feel happy.
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But in fact, when you go about it a different way, where you focus on priming inside of your consciousness, the love, the joy, the peace, whatever it is that you're trying to bring into your life,
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and you feel it as if it's already here now, you are now priming yourself to pick up on new synchronicities, new opportunities that are in alignment with that.
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Does that make sense?
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So it's a belief, it's in the understanding that the attachment to the outcome is not what's going to bring you happiness.
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That's an interesting thing about synchronicity is, is it, is it the divine angel number that is giving you the, you know, that's giving you a sign that you're on the right track,
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or is it, is it your own belief in the angel number that's putting you on the right track? Because ultimately.
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everything is being reflected back to you, right?
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But sometimes I think in the spiritual community, there's this connection to the start, the numbers, the angel numbers, all of these things.
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And I think that a lot of times, similar, that we're looking for some form of understanding reality or some form of control.
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So it's still rooted back in control
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because you feel more in control if you see 11 -11 and you're like, oh, ah.
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everything's okay.
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I was having a bad day and it said 11 -11 on the microwave, even though you don't use the microwave, right?
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So you just put 11 -11 on the microwave so that it's constantly 11 -11, right?
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Like how deep are you going to take?
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Like that's the funny thing about manifestation also in general is
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that a lot of people that have been through trauma in the past, maybe into spirituality, and also,
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because that pressure created, like that pressure from back in childhood created that desire to like learn more,
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but also it created a certain desire to want to, in manifestation, to think, I can visualize what I want,
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and then I'm going to visualize it, and then I'm going to experience what I want.
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Think about that level of control.
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It's a very sexy idea, isn't it?
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It's a very sexy idea that I can visualize what I want, and then I can feel it as if it's already happening, and then I can experience what I want.
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And I really wanted to match what I visualized to actually happen over here, because then I feel like I'm in control of reality.
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And if I'm not in control of reality, what could happen?
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There could be something unknown that happens.
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But what's interesting is what you end up blocking out is you end up blocking out all the magic.
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There could be way more magical things that come into your life
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if you weren't so adamant on visualizing to need to experience exactly what you're visualizing.
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It's because we think we know, we think we know what we're wanting to create, and then because of that, we insist on it.
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And then we block out.
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Remember, if there's 11 to 15 million bits of information around us, and we can only perceive of about 100 bits per second,
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we're excluding 99 .99 % of everything around us at the expense of what we're choosing to see, what we wanna see.
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And then every time we see 1111 or some divine angel number, I can feel different now.
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I'm on the right track.
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And we can use that tool.
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I'm making fun of it kind of, but it's like you can use, whatever tool works for you, you can use.
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And also in case you haven't heard, I have a course that is free, literally worth $1 ,000 for free called High Vibe 101.
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This is a step -by -step transformational course that will show you how to elevate your vibration to the next level.
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You'll learn how to create identity level transformation, how to feel and heal the energy that's stored inside the body.
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There's a breathwork ceremony in there that is also free.
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Everything is free.
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It's literally a thousand dollar course for free
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that you can get by simply clicking the link below and joining High Vibe Tribe, which is also free.
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There's over 50 ,000 people in this high vibe tribe, other people that are focused on elevating their vibration to the next level.
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So if that's something that you wanna do, I really believe this kind of work is so important for transformation for people's lives and also the planet.
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And that's why you can get it by simply clicking the link below.
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Understanding the Dialogue: Freedom, Authenticity, and Relationships
The video explores a powerful concept: freedom lies in embracing the courage to be disliked. Through a conversation between a speaker and a participant, it delves into how prioritizing others' approval can stifle authenticity, while letting go of that need often makes one more magnetic. The dialogue also touches on relationships, asking where compromise fits when staying true to oneself—like maintaining spiritual freedom even if a partner has different beliefs. This relatable, conversational content is perfect for language learning, as it blends everyday speech with deeper ideas, making it ideal for speaking practice.
Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication
- "Magnetic, attractive" – Describes someone with a compelling, unforced presence. Example: "Her confidence made her feel magnetic in the room."
- "Everyone's cup of tea" – A common idiom meaning "appealing to everyone." Example: "Not all music is everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay."
- "Take on the burden" – To accept a difficult responsibility. Example: "Don't take on the burden of pleasing everyone at work."
- "Grappling with" – Struggling to understand or deal with something. Example: "I'm grappling with how to balance work and family."
- "Spiritual freedom" – The ability to explore one's beliefs without restriction. Example: "She values spiritual freedom over following strict traditions."
Step-by-Step Shadowing Guide for This Video
The video's conversational pace and emotional depth make it a great candidate for the shadowing technique. Here's how to practice:
- Listen and repeat short segments: Pause after 5-10 second clips (e.g., "freedom is your ability to be disliked...") and mimic the speaker's tone and rhythm. Focus on pronunciation practice of phrases like "magnetic" and "grappling with."
- Emphasize natural intonation: Notice how the speaker stresses words like "courage" or "compromise" to convey meaning. Shadowing helps you adopt these subtleties for more authentic speech.
- Role-play the dialogue: Practice both the speaker's and participant's lines. This builds confidence in real-time conversation and helps you internalize phrases like "everyone's cup of tea."
- Reflect and adjust: Record yourself shadowing, then compare it to the video. Note areas where your pronunciation or pace differs, and repeat those sections until they feel natural.
By working through this video with shadowing, you'll not only improve your English speaking skills but also gain insight into meaningful communication—making your practice both practical and impactful.
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | be disliked · be liked · weren't attached |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | I've been · you've always been · have been |
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.